Advertisement
Not a member of Pastebin yet?
Sign Up,
it unlocks many cool features!
- Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat.
- The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat.
- The doors were all bolted, the phone off the hook.
- It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook.
- Momma in her tedoy and I in the nude,
- has just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube.
- When out on the lawn there arose such a cry,
- that I lost my boner and Momma went dry.
- Up to the window I sprang like an elf.
- Tore back the shade, while she played with herself.
- The moon on the crest of the snowman we'd built
- showed a broom up his ass, clean up to the hilt.
- When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
- but a rusty old sleigh and eight mangey reindeer.
- With a fat little driver, half out of the sled.
- A sock on his ear and a bra on his head.
- Sure as I'm speaking, he was high as a kite,
- and he yelled to his team, but it didn't sound right.
- "Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,
- either slow down this rig, or I'll cut off your nuts."
- "Look out for the lamp post and don't hit the tree.
- Quit shaking the sleigh, 'cause I gotta pee."
- They cleared the old lamp post, the tree got a rub,
- just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.
- And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,
- as each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.
- I was donning my jockies, to cover my ass,
- when down the chimney Santa came with a crash.
- His suit was all smelly with perfume galore.
- He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.
- "That was some brothel," he said with a smile.
- "The reindeer were pooped, and I just stayed awhile."
- He walked to the kitchen for himself poured a drink,
- then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.
- I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee.
- The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.
- Back in the den, Santa reached for his sack,
- but his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.
- The first thing he found was a pair of false tits.
- The next was a hand gun with penis that splits.
- A box filled with condoms was Santa's next find.
- And six pair of panties, the edible kind.
- A bra without nipples, a penis extension,
- and several more things that I shouldn't mention.
- A
- cock ring, a g-string, and all types of oil.
- A dildo so long that it lay in a coil.
- "This stuff ain't for kids, Mrs. Santa will shit,
- so I'll leave 'em here, and then I'll just split."
- He filled every stocking and then took his leave,
- with one tiny butt plug stuck under his sleeve.
- He sprang to his sleigh, but his feet were like lead,
- thus he fell on his ass and broke wind instead.
- In time he was seated, took reigns of his hitch,
- saying "Take me home Rudolf, this night's been a bitch."
- The sleigh was near gone when we heard Santa shout,
- "The best thing about pussy is, you can't wear it out!!!"
Advertisement
Add Comment
Please, Sign In to add comment
Advertisement