First high story

I figured, "Hey, why not write things when I'm high?"
Now I'm thinking, "Hey, why not document these things I write when I'm high?"
That's what I'm doing.
Yeah.


>Writers in Equestria.
>Wake up.
>Something smells funny.
>The clown next to you sniffs his armits and then shrugs.
>You get up and stretch out.
>A loud slam is heard downstairs.
"Fuck was that?"
>A head pokes out from the bathroom.
>It's Flutterpriest.
>"What was that Swift?"
"The fuck should I know?"
>"Alright jeez. You don't have to be a dick about it."
"Look I'm so-"
>The loud slam is heard once again.
>You look at Priest.
>He looks at you.
>Slowly walk toward him.
>Pucker your lips.
>You close your eyes.
>A hand slaps you in the face.
>Open your eyes.
>Priest is backed up against the wall and blushing.
>Look left.
>Pickle is there with his cock in his hand looking disappointed.
>"Wasn't me."
>Look right.
>See UV.
>She's looking nice today.
>Like, look at them titties.
>All round and above average sized n' shit
>Bet they feel real nice.
>All firm and perky...
>"Ahem."
>Look up to her eyes.
>Then down to your hands which are mere centimeters from her tits.
>She furrows her brow.
>You squeeze her tits.
>Then she smacks you hard as FUCK.
>Like, her hands are the planes and you're the twin towers.
>When you sit back up, the loud bang is heard again.
>All of you look to the stairs.
>Priest slowly scoots around you and slips out of the room.
>"I'll uh... I'll go check it out."
>He walks downstairs.
>Your eyes are returned to UV's.
"...I THINK I HEAR PRIEST SAYING HE NEEDS MY HELP!"
>Quickly rush out of the room.
>Priest is walking down the stairs, "I didn't say-"
>You trip over your foot and tumble down the stairs, crashing into Priest along the way.
>Slam your head against the chair.
"Fuck that didn't tickle."
>"WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"
>Look up.
>See Priest glaring down on you from his upside down like position on the stairs.
>Whatever.
>Not important here.
>Have to find out what that noise is.
>Peer over the chair and see Baratone sitting on the couch.
>Stand up.
"Yo Bararatonone. What up man?"
>"Oh you know... Just hanging."
"That's coo-"
>"Ziggers."
>You stop.
>A slow smile stretches across his face.
>He then motions to the window with a thumb.
>Look over.
>Zecora hangs by a rope right outside the window.
"Huh."
>Look back to Baratone.
"So have you heard any noises lately?"
>"Hmmm. Nah."
"Euguughh..."
>"You alright man?"
"Don't you ever 'Hmmm' again. Jizz nearly shot out my ears there."
>"Sorry."
"I love you."
>The door breaks down.
>Allyourwat is there panting.
>"Fuck guys, don't you ever answer the fucking door?!"
>Baratone shrugs.
>You shrug.
>Priest shrugs.
>UV comes down the stairs and shrugs.
>Pickle comes down the stairs, sits on the couch next to Baratone, and shrugs.
>Zecora's dead body shrugs.
>"...damn it you guys. There's something happening in town!"
>All of you just look at him.
>Then everyone looks at you.
"FINE! I'LL ASK WHAT'S WRONG. Fucking assholes, making me do work and shit. So Wat, what seems to be the problem?"
>"There's a giant rapist attacking the city!"
>All of you gasp.
>Except Zecora.
>She's all dead and stuff.
>You all go outside and see Fluttershy standing in the middle of town.
>She bumps the town square building with her oversized badunkadunk and it smashes to pieces.
>"O-Oh, um, oops. I'm sorry. E-Excuse me Mayor Mare, could you p-please tell me where to f-find the M0nkey residence?"
>The volume of her voice is too high for Mayor Mare's tiny ears and her head explodes.
>Fluttershy recoils in shock and goes to sit down.
>A family of four look out from their window while eating lunch together and are shocked to see the giant ass coming down on them.
>The father takes off his hat and hangs his head.
>While lightly shaking his head, he whispers his last words.
>"Dat ass."
>Fluttershy crushes like ten more houses including that one by sitting.
"So uh... What do you want us to do about it?"
>Wat shrugs.
>UV shrugs.
>You put your hands on Baratone's shoulders before he shrugs.
"We don't have time for that again."
>Lumber comes out from behind a bush.
>"Here's the plan. We go at her neck and CUT IT OUT! THEN WE DRINK THE BLOOD! MORE BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!"
>He then runs off at the giant Fluttershy with a knife no bigger than his forearm.
"Huh. Any other ideas?"
>You look around at everyone.
>Pickle raises his hand.
"This isn't school you stupid fuck. What?"
>"Why don't we call some other people?"
"Hmmm... Okay."
>Sweetie Belle comes running up to all of you.
>"FLUTTERSHY IS ATTACKING THE-"
>You pick her up mid sentence.
>Put your ear on her vagina.
>Open her mouth.
>A dial tone is heard.
"Shit, how do I phone."
>Take her off your face.
>Push on her belly in a few places, making her giggle.
>Put pussy back on your ear.
>It's ringing.
>The other line clicks on.
>"Hey, what's up?"
>It's Gnome.
"Hey, can you bring the rest of the guys up here? We need more people."
>"Sure. Give me a second."
>The call disconnects.
"He said he's on his way."
>You take Sweetie Belle off your face and she blankly looks at you.
>Then you blow a raspberry on her filly pussy and throw her into the bushes.
>Turn to the others.
"Right, so Gnome said give him a second."
>Just then a giant door is drawn into existence.
>It opens and a very big and surprisingly friendly ninja walks out.
"YO BFN!"
>The seventeen foot tall ninja waves back at you.
>Then Gnome comes out of the door with his guns.
>"You needed us-"
>He notices the giant butterflybutt.
>His eyes widen in surprise, "Sweet mother of ass."
>Priest steps forward, "I don't see a problem with this actually."
"Calm your cock Priest. We have a town to save."
>BigFriendlyNinja picks all of you up in his hand and then draws a hot air balloon big enough for all of you to fit in.
>Then he pushes you toward the giant Shy.
>When you get close enough, she notices you.
>"Oh, yay! I found you! Um, writers, is gigantism your fetish?"
"NO! MEN, OPEN-"
>UV glares at you.
"Shit. MEN AND ONE WOMAN, OPEN FIRE!"
>You start writing horse rape stories into existence and fire the words at her.
>Wat takes out a bow with three dragon dildos on it and fires all three simultaneously.
>Gnome starts firing.
>BFN draws a missile and flicks it toward her.
>Baratone sings her the song of his people.
>And fuck is it beautiful.
>Lumber has finally made it to Fluttershy and starts stabbing at her leg with his knife.
>Pickle sits on the edge of the hot air balloon cage and rapidly fires pickles out his ass.
>Priest jumps out of the balloon to finally be with the one he loves.
>Zecora is still dead at the house.
>UV sucks my dick.
>All this and a bag of chips, but nothing seems to work against this giant Fluttershy.
>Suddenly, a lightning bolt cracks the sky open and Nebby's finger comes down.
>It touches her on the head.
>She then starts giggling.
>Then that giggling turns to laughing.
>She sits there laughing as hard as she can.
>She starts to turn purple how hard she's laughing.
>Huh, she hasn't taken a breath in a while now.
>How is she still-
>She falls to the side, crushing more buildings.
>Oh.
>She's dead.
>Nebby's hand forms a thumbs up and then goes back into the clouds.
"Well that was easy."
>The hot air balloon lands next to her and you all get out.
>All of the remaining ponies hailed you as heroes.
>Lumberjack was crippled in the battle, but putting him back in his natural environment has healed him up just fine.
>He lives in the cold as fuck land of Canada, so you shoved him in the freezer for a day.
>Yeah.
>And that's how all of you became the heroes of ponylandvilleplazacitytown.