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  1. "Finally a Lesson"
  2.  
  3. Titans, it has come
  4. to my attention
  5.  
  6. that you have not been using
  7. the new suggestion box.
  8.  
  9. - Yeah, we are.
  10. - All the time.
  11.  
  12. - "Robin stinks" is not a suggestion.
  13. - But it's true.
  14.  
  15. That doesn't make
  16. it a suggestion!
  17.  
  18. "Consider a daily bath," or, "Wash
  19. your clothes more regularly,"
  20.  
  21. or, "Mouthwash, use it."
  22. These are suggestions.
  23.  
  24. Ah, then those! Those are
  25. the suggestions from us.
  26.  
  27. The whole reason for
  28. the suggestion box
  29.  
  30. is to have a thoughtful way to address
  31. the flaws in the Teen Titans.
  32.  
  33.  
  34.  
  35. Fortunately, someone has put a
  36. helpful suggestion in here.
  37.  
  38. - Hmm, that looks like your handwriting.
  39. - Well, it's not.
  40.  
  41. Anonymous has suggested that
  42. the leader of the Titans,
  43.  
  44. Robin, that would be me, should
  45. teach more life lessons.
  46.  
  47. Life lessons? That sounds so
  48. inspirational and life-affirming.
  49.  
  50. Ooh, may I suggest the
  51. teaching of the lesson
  52.  
  53. regarding the value
  54. of friendship?
  55.  
  56. Sorry, dudes, I don't
  57. have time for lessons.
  58.  
  59. I gots to hang out with some
  60. cool rollerblading dudes.
  61.  
  62. You don't wanna learn
  63. about friendship with us?
  64.  
  65. I already know about friendship.
  66.  
  67. Be friends with cool dudes.
  68. Later, lame-os.
  69.  
  70. Uh, guys? Isn't this
  71. destroying property?
  72.  
  73. I don't wanna get in trouble.
  74.  
  75.  
  76.  
  77. Man, you a nerd if you don't
  78. wanna do the graffiti on walls.
  79.  
  80. Come on, other cool rollerblading dudes.
  81. Let's blade out.
  82.  
  83. - Aww.
  84. - You look like you could use the friend.
  85.  
  86. You guys aren't mad at me for
  87. ditching you to hang out
  88.  
  89. with the cool
  90. rollerblading dudes?
  91.  
  92. Nah, we know how to
  93. rollerblade with the punches.
  94.  
  95. I guess your real friends are the
  96. ones who always have your back.
  97.  
  98. Always.
  99.  
  100. That was the most boring and
  101. obvious scenario in the world.
  102.  
  103. But at least Beast Boy
  104. learned the good lesson.
  105.  
  106. I'm going to teach
  107. you a real lesson.
  108.  
  109. One that will benefit you for
  110. years and years to come.
  111.  
  112. - Is it the importance of trust?
  113. - That cheating is bad?
  114.  
  115. - That it's okay to be different?
  116. - To not hide in
  117.  
  118. the abandoned refrigerator
  119. because you may suffocate?
  120.  
  121. Those are all garbage lessons!
  122.  
  123. Except for the refrigerator one.
  124. That's good to know.
  125.  
  126. But those other lessons are all
  127. super obvious facts everybody's
  128.  
  129. already learned. The lesson
  130. I'm going to teach you is
  131.  
  132. how to buy rental property
  133. as a long term investment.
  134.  
  135. Rental property?
  136.  
  137. You wanna talk to us about
  138. buying rental property?
  139.  
  140. I don't even know
  141. what that means.
  142.  
  143. Rental property is a place that you
  144. buy that other people live in.
  145.  
  146. Oh... I still don't understand.
  147.  
  148. Actually, that sounds
  149. super boring, bro.
  150.  
  151. Well, it is, but no one else is
  152. teaching this valuable information.
  153.  
  154. Rental property is one of the
  155. best ways to build equity.
  156.  
  157. - Please, what is the equity?
  158. - Oh, you wanna jump right in. Great!
  159.  
  160. Equity is the amount of a
  161. property you truly own.
  162.  
  163. It's the difference
  164. between your loan balance
  165.  
  166. and your property's
  167. market value.
  168.  
  169. If you sold your property
  170. and paid off the bank,
  171.  
  172. the value of your equity is
  173. what you'd walk away with.
  174.  
  175. When you build equity,
  176.  
  177. you increase the net
  178. value of your asset.
  179.  
  180. One way to do this is by
  181. paying off your mortgage...
  182.  
  183. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
  184.  
  185. Beastie's right. This
  186. sounds super boring.
  187.  
  188. Yeah, you can't make
  189. me build equity!
  190.  
  191. Those words make me feel weird.
  192.  
  193. If you will excuse me, I
  194. must rest my brain now.
  195.  
  196. Huh. Okay.
  197.  
  198. I thought you guys would
  199. like to make a lot of money.
  200.  
  201. - Money?
  202. - Why didn't you just say that?
  203.  
  204. I did. Equity is just
  205. another word for money.
  206.  
  207. Ooh!
  208.  
  209. It is also another
  210. word for the horsies.
  211.  
  212. Just tell us hows to
  213. make that money, bro.
  214.  
  215. First things first.
  216.  
  217. We have to find the right
  218. rental property to buy,
  219.  
  220. and I've had my eye
  221. on just the place.
  222.  
  223. - Ooh, the place is the glorious!
  224. - It's even got a doorman.
  225.  
  226. What up, doorman.
  227.  
  228. Guys, check out these potted plants!
  229. So lush.
  230.  
  231. - We'll take it.
  232. - Oh, oh, no.
  233.  
  234. That's not the property
  235. we're looking at. This is.
  236.  
  237. Ooh, that place looks... rough.
  238.  
  239. And isn't this the place
  240. where bad guys live?
  241.  
  242. - It don't even have a doorman.
  243. - Sure, it does.
  244.  
  245. Howdy.
  246.  
  247. Why would we buy the
  248. rundown building?
  249.  
  250. Because where other buyers
  251. see a rundown building
  252.  
  253. with leaky pipes,
  254. bugs and Sticky Joe,
  255.  
  256. I see a chance to build equity.
  257.  
  258. Oh! He said that
  259. money word again!
  260.  
  261. - I wish to build the equestrian.
  262. - Great!
  263.  
  264. Let's put in a lowball offer
  265. and see if they take it.
  266.  
  267. Hello. Uh-huh. Okay.
  268.  
  269. Yes. Right.
  270.  
  271. Good news! Our offer
  272. was accepted.
  273.  
  274. We bought a whole building, yo!
  275.  
  276. Not yet. We still need
  277. to find financing.
  278.  
  279. Financing? Stop using words
  280. that don't make any sense!
  281.  
  282. Financing is how we're gonna
  283. pay for the property.
  284.  
  285. And, pray, tell, how
  286. much is the building?
  287.  
  288. $500,000.
  289.  
  290. Are you crazy?!
  291.  
  292. That is more money than
  293. anyone's ever had!
  294.  
  295. Relax.
  296.  
  297. The rents from the building
  298. will cover most of the cost.
  299.  
  300. We just need 20% down, so...
  301.  
  302. $100,000.
  303.  
  304. Are you crazy?!
  305.  
  306. That is more money than
  307. anyone's ever had!
  308.  
  309. Yes, saving that kind of money
  310.  
  311. will require hard
  312. work and effort.
  313.  
  314. Or, we can do what
  315. everyone else does.
  316.  
  317. Ask someone who's already put
  318. in the hard work and effort.
  319.  
  320. Hello, Batman?
  321.  
  322. Uh, I'm going to need some money
  323. to build a crime fighting lab.
  324.  
  325. 20% down!
  326.  
  327. Yeah, 20%. Yeah, 20%.
  328.  
  329. Put it down, put it
  330. down, put it down!
  331.  
  332. - Let it fly!
  333. - Do not let your down payment fly!
  334.  
  335. Robin, there is something
  336. I do not understand.
  337.  
  338. How do we purchase the property
  339. with only 20% of the price?
  340.  
  341. The rest will come
  342. from a bank loan.
  343.  
  344. Aww! I thought the
  345. boring part was over!
  346.  
  347. It's all boring, but
  348. fun at the same time.
  349.  
  350. But mostly boring.
  351.  
  352. Now, let's get into the
  353. nitty-gritty of the loan process.
  354.  
  355. The first thing we're going to have
  356. to consider is our credit score.
  357.  
  358. A credit score is measure
  359. of one's credit worthiness.
  360.  
  361. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
  362.  
  363. Blah, blah, blah, blah.
  364.  
  365. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
  366.  
  367. Those words be making
  368. our heads hurt, yo.
  369.  
  370. I never said this would be easy.
  371.  
  372. I'm trying to help you
  373. make a great investment.
  374.  
  375. Oh, this important info
  376. like a hammer to the skull!
  377.  
  378. I know something that
  379. will hurt even more
  380.  
  381. than this important information.
  382.  
  383. The boring info
  384. still hurts more.
  385.  
  386. Ow! Ow, that hurts!
  387.  
  388. But not as much as learning
  389. about credit scores.
  390.  
  391. Aw!
  392.  
  393. Yeah, that hurt more
  394.  
  395. than having to think about
  396. securing the right lender.
  397.  
  398. Now I would finally rather
  399. listen to you, Robin.
  400.  
  401. Excellent. I know this is a lot
  402. of information to take in,
  403.  
  404. so let's take a break
  405. and do something fun.
  406.  
  407. You said we would be doing
  408. the fun activities.
  409.  
  410. Filling out paperwork is fun.
  411.  
  412. It's like drawing with words
  413.  
  414. on a specific line with specific
  415. information. Whoo! Hey.
  416.  
  417. Doesn't my good faith estimate
  418. look like a dinosaur? Roar!
  419.  
  420. Roar!
  421.  
  422. Ugh, I'm starting to worry
  423. this is going nowheres.
  424.  
  425. Yeah, this had better lead
  426. to us fighting someone
  427.  
  428. or something interesting.
  429.  
  430. Sadly, no. Today is just
  431. important information.
  432.  
  433. Don't worry. I promise
  434. you this will all lead
  435.  
  436. to a very satisfying end.
  437. Very satisfying.
  438.  
  439. Congratulations, Titans!
  440.  
  441. We are now the owners
  442. of a rental property!
  443.  
  444. Soon, this place will be
  445. making us some good money.
  446.  
  447. Don't you mean "some
  448. good equity"?
  449.  
  450. - Uh-oh, Titans! It's Brother Blood.
  451. - What is his evil scheme?
  452.  
  453. He has demanded we
  454. fix his toilet.
  455.  
  456. - Tell him to fix it himself!
  457. - I can't. He lives here.
  458.  
  459. So, as landlords, the broken
  460. toilet is our responsibility.
  461.  
  462. - That is so gross, bro.
  463. - And if we refuse?
  464.  
  465. Then he can withhold
  466. his rent money.
  467.  
  468. And we will lose equity.
  469.  
  470. This, we cannot allow!
  471.  
  472. Titans, go... maintain the
  473. quality of this building!
  474.  
  475. All this hard work is
  476. making me tired, yo.
  477.  
  478. This is what we
  479. call sweat equity.
  480.  
  481. Ew, I don't want sweaty money.
  482.  
  483. The damp currency.
  484.  
  485. Who cares if the cash is wet?
  486. We're getting rich!
  487.  
  488. About that, I've just made
  489. a terrible discovery.
  490.  
  491. The building is rent controlled.
  492.  
  493. What does that mean?
  494.  
  495. It means the tenants in
  496. this building are paying
  497.  
  498. below market value for
  499. these apartments.
  500.  
  501. Then let's evict
  502. these scoundrels.
  503.  
  504. That's technically illegal. Renters
  505. have rights, unfortunately.
  506.  
  507. There has to be a way to
  508. get rid of these people!
  509.  
  510. We can't terminate their leases, but
  511. maybe they'll leave on their own.
  512.  
  513. If you know what I mean.
  514.  
  515. Attention, villains!
  516.  
  517. The below market rent you
  518. are paying is criminal.
  519.  
  520. Taste the justice
  521. of a free market.
  522.  
  523. Titans, evict!
  524.  
  525. It is such a shame they
  526. decided to do the moving out.
  527.  
  528. Now we can raise the rents
  529. back to market value.
  530.  
  531. - We're rich!
  532. - Well, not yet.
  533.  
  534. It takes decades to
  535. actually build equity,
  536.  
  537. but in 30 years, it will
  538. provide a modest cash flow
  539.  
  540. to pay for our numerous
  541. old people medications.
  542.  
  543. This looks like a rad place to
  544. hang out, blades. Let's move in.
  545.  
  546. Let it fly!
  547.  
  548. Hi, I'm Robin of
  549. the Teen Titans.
  550.  
  551. I know we've had a
  552. lot of laughs today,
  553.  
  554. but planning for your
  555. future is no joke.
  556.  
  557. For more information about
  558. investing in rental property,
  559.  
  560. visit your library, or
  561. talk to a local realtor.
  562.  
  563.  
  564.  
  565.  
  566.  
  567.  
  568. 2x37 - "Two Bumble Bees and a Wasp"
  569.  
  570. Titans, do you know what day it is?
  571.  
  572. Wednesday!
  573.  
  574. Hump day, baby.
  575.  
  576. Oh, yeah. Nothing better
  577. than the middle of the week!
  578.  
  579. Hoo-hoo-hoo.
  580. Hoo-hoo-hoo.
  581.  
  582. - Hump-hump.
  583. - Wednesday.
  584.  
  585. Uh, first of all, it's Friday.
  586.  
  587. Friday!
  588.  
  589. Enough!
  590. Yes, it's Friday.
  591.  
  592. But more importantly, it's payday!
  593.  
  594.  
  595.  
  596. Why can it not be the Wednesday?
  597.  
  598. Woo-hoo-hoo.
  599. Loo-poo-poo.
  600.  
  601. Hump-hump.
  602.  
  603. So, what are you going
  604. to spend this money on?
  605.  
  606. I could really use
  607. a new robot badonkadonk.
  608.  
  609. Ooh, I also wish to purchase
  610. the new robot badonkadonk.
  611.  
  612. Books, books, books and
  613. some books... and books.
  614.  
  615. - Books.
  616. - Wrong!
  617.  
  618. Wrong!
  619.  
  620. Wrong, wrong, wrong and some wrong.
  621.  
  622. Wrong!
  623.  
  624. Money is not to be wasted on things
  625. that bring you happiness and joy!
  626.  
  627. Money is to be hoarded,
  628. until your have enough money
  629.  
  630. that your money makes more money.
  631.  
  632.  
  633.  
  634. - And then you spend that money!
  635. - No! You hoard that money, too.
  636.  
  637. Ew. This is why they say
  638. money is the root of all evil.
  639.  
  640. Money? Evil?
  641.  
  642. I know someone who might
  643. change your mind about that.
  644.  
  645. Oh, well hi there. I am money.
  646.  
  647. Hi, money. Nice to meet you.
  648.  
  649. Now, did someone here think I am evil?
  650.  
  651. It is him. The green one.
  652.  
  653. You are evil, bro.
  654. I know your heart!
  655.  
  656. - Money doesn't have a heart, Beast Boy.
  657. - Exactly! He's evil!
  658.  
  659. Watch your mouth or
  660. I'll break your bones!
  661.  
  662. What I mean is,
  663.  
  664. how can I be evil when I'm just
  665. a little old piece of paper.
  666.  
  667. You're not paper,
  668. you're money! Silly, money.
  669.  
  670. I am paper, but I am also money.
  671.  
  672. All I am is an agreed upon
  673. representative of credit.
  674.  
  675. Something you trade
  676. for goods and services!
  677.  
  678. So I can be anything.
  679.  
  680. - Even paper.
  681. - Can money be a pineapple?
  682.  
  683. If everyone agrees on it, sure.
  684.  
  685. - Can money be rocks?
  686. - Absolutely!
  687.  
  688. Can money be the blurp blops?
  689.  
  690. - Now you're talking!
  691. - Can money be Robin's stupid face?
  692.  
  693. You show some respect!
  694. Call me Sir or Dr. Money.
  695.  
  696. Now, kneel before me
  697. or I will destroy you all!
  698.  
  699. - My apologies, Dr. Money.
  700. - Money's kind of creeping me out.
  701.  
  702. Yeah, he's making me wanna be poor.
  703.  
  704. See? Evil.
  705. And you know what I do to evil?
  706.  
  707. No! Stop it!
  708.  
  709. Nooo!
  710.  
  711. Oh, you're gonna make it, buddy.
  712.  
  713. Hang in there.
  714.  
  715. No, no.
  716. It's too late for me, pal.
  717.  
  718. Goodbye, cruel world.
  719.  
  720. That's it!
  721.  
  722. None of you are getting paid
  723.  
  724. until you learn to respect money!
  725.  
  726. Fine with me, bro.
  727. We don't need your money!
  728.  
  729. But I wanna buy things so bad.
  730.  
  731. I also wish to trade the currency
  732. for goods and, or services.
  733.  
  734. Yeah, people need money, Beast Boy.
  735.  
  736. Animals don't use money!
  737. And have you seen an unhappy dog?
  738.  
  739. - Of course.
  740. - All the time.
  741.  
  742. Look at that one.
  743.  
  744. My friends, we have no choice
  745.  
  746. but to respect money,
  747. like Robin has asked of us.
  748.  
  749. I'll never respect money, Star.
  750. Not as long as it's evil.
  751.  
  752. But I have an idea!
  753.  
  754. Ah! Looks like someone
  755. bought some pizza!
  756.  
  757. Well, in the spirit of commerce,
  758. may I buy a slice?
  759.  
  760. - Sure, dude, that'll be five bees!
  761. - What?
  762.  
  763. Five bees for the slice of pizza.
  764.  
  765. Bees?
  766. How about I give you a dollar?
  767.  
  768. We only take real money here.
  769.  
  770. Bees, brah.
  771.  
  772. Bees aren't money, "brah".
  773.  
  774. You said it yourself, Robin.
  775.  
  776. Money represents credit,
  777. so money could be anything.
  778.  
  779. I choose bees.
  780.  
  781. But bees are not an
  782. agreed upon currency!
  783.  
  784. No one is gonna pay you in bees!
  785.  
  786. Ooh, may I have a triangle of the pizza?
  787.  
  788. Sure thing. Five bees, please.
  789.  
  790. Ow!
  791.  
  792. Look, I don't have any bees.
  793.  
  794. How about flies?
  795. Will you take three flies for a slice?
  796.  
  797. Three flies won't buy you anything.
  798.  
  799. I'd like a slice, but all
  800. I've got is a queen bee.
  801.  
  802. Here's your pizza,
  803. and here's your change.
  804.  
  805. Two bumblebees.
  806.  
  807. Hey, didn't I give you a queen?
  808.  
  809. My bad.
  810. I owe you a wasp.
  811.  
  812. Mmm. Ouch.
  813. Mmm. Ow! Ow!
  814.  
  815. Mmm.
  816.  
  817. This is ridiculous.
  818. I am not using bees as currency.
  819.  
  820. Sounds like someone needs
  821. to learn to respect money.
  822.  
  823. The bee money. Ow!
  824.  
  825. I only respect paper money.
  826.  
  827. We'll see where that gets you.
  828. Ouch!
  829.  
  830. Ooh!
  831.  
  832. Fifty thousand bees?
  833.  
  834. I don't get out of
  835. bed for less than 100!
  836.  
  837. Call me back when you're
  838. ready to talk real bees.
  839.  
  840. Robin, come in. Ow!
  841.  
  842. - Ah, thank you for seeing me.
  843. - Of course.
  844.  
  845. I actually owe this all to you.
  846. You told me to respect money,
  847.  
  848. and now I'm the richest
  849. man in the world!
  850.  
  851. Now, what can I do for you?
  852. Ouch!
  853.  
  854. I, uh...
  855.  
  856. I just need some bees, so
  857. I can get back on my feet.
  858.  
  859. Uh-uh-uh.
  860. I hate to see you suffer, Robin.
  861.  
  862. Ow!
  863.  
  864. But I can't just give you bees,
  865.  
  866. you'll never learn to
  867. respect your money that way.
  868.  
  869. Ouch! Ahhh!
  870.  
  871. Are you okay?
  872. You're getting stung a lot.
  873.  
  874. I don't even notice it anymore.
  875.  
  876. Ow!
  877.  
  878. Now, I won't just give you bees,
  879.  
  880. but I will give you the
  881. opportunity to earn them.
  882.  
  883. - That's all I want!
  884. - Good. You can get started right away.
  885.  
  886. Dance for me, peasant!
  887.  
  888. What?
  889.  
  890. You heard me.
  891. Dance for your bees!
  892.  
  893. What happened to you, Beast Boy?
  894.  
  895. You're not really going to
  896. humiliate me like this, are you?
  897.  
  898. Wait, wait, wait.
  899. This isn't the way.
  900.  
  901. - Thank you.
  902. - Guys, check this out!
  903.  
  904. You're gonna make him dance for bees?
  905.  
  906. - Ooh-hoo!
  907. - This is gonna be good.
  908.  
  909. Now dance!
  910.  
  911. ♪ Dance fo yo bees,
  912. dance, dance fo yo bees ♪
  913.  
  914. ♪ Dance fo yo bees, dance,
  915. dance fo yo bees ♪
  916.  
  917. ♪ Dance fo yo bees,
  918. dance, dance fo yo bees ♪
  919.  
  920. ♪ Dance fo yo bees, dance,
  921. dance fo yo bees ♪
  922.  
  923. ♪ All I want to do is
  924. dance for some bees ♪
  925.  
  926. Fabulous!
  927. You've earned these.
  928.  
  929. - Is this it? Ouch!
  930. - Be grateful!
  931.  
  932. Ouch!
  933.  
  934. You were right, Beast Boy. Ow!
  935. Money is the root of all evil.
  936.  
  937. Even bee money! Ouch!
  938.  
  939. It hurts to see what
  940. it's turned you into.
  941.  
  942. I'm sorry. I can't hear
  943. you over all my bees!
  944.  
  945. No! No! Ah! Ow!
  946.  
  947. What's happening to him?
  948.  
  949. This is what happens when
  950. you let money consume you.
  951.  
  952. It turns you into a monster!
  953.  
  954. Actually, I think it's an allergic
  955. reaction from the bee stings.
  956.  
  957. No, he's swollen with evil!
  958.  
  959. Or, maybe he's asking
  960. us to call a doctor.
  961.  
  962. We must destroy the evil
  963. that's consumed our dear friend.
  964.  
  965. Titans, go!
  966.  
  967. It's working.
  968. The evil is leaving him.
  969.  
  970. I'm gonna call an ambulance.
  971.  
  972. - It's good to have you back, buddy.
  973. - I'm sorry, guys.
  974.  
  975. I don't know how I got so
  976. caught up in making money.
  977.  
  978. Well, we all learned something
  979. important today, Titans.
  980.  
  981. Whoever said,
  982. "Money is the root of all evil"
  983.  
  984. - was way off base!
  985. - That's right.
  986.  
  987. The real danger is bee allergies.
  988.  
  989. Hey!
  990.  
  991. Sorry, for uh...
  992. beating you mercilessly.
  993.  
  994. - We thought you were a monster!
  995. - It's cool.
  996.  
  997. Friends, I have just
  998. received the hospital bill.
  999.  
  1000. Ooh! That's gonna sting.
  1001.  
  1002.  
  1003.  
  1004.  
  1005.  
  1006. [Robin, Raven, Cyborg, and Starfire are sitting on the couch. Beast Boy, crying, joins them.]Starfire: Beast Boy, your sadness is leaking from your eye holes.Beast Boy: It's just, I-I can't afford the birthday present Cyborg really wants.Raven: Wait. Haven't we been through this before?Cyborg: And, besides, my birthday is like months away.Beast Boy: If I don't get him an expensive gift, it can ruin our friendship.Cyborg: That's not true! What kind of person do you think I am?Raven: Yeah, yeah, this has definitely happened before.Beast Boy: You guys know how much he loves expensive gifts.Cyborg: You're making me sound like a monster.Beast Boy: I have to gets a job so I can afford the expensive present Cyborg wants.Cyborg: You don't! You really don't.Robin: Let me guess, Beast Boy. You'e going to get a job at the pie shop.Beast Boy: I ain'ts getting a job at the pie shop. I'm gonna make money the easy way. Check it. [Takes out a pamphlet.]Robin: Wait. [Reads pamphlet.] This is a pyramid scheme.Cyborg: Whoa. Pyramid? As in mummies?Raven: I'm not sure you should do business with mummies.Robin: Not that kind of pyramid. [Inhales.] A pyramid scheme is an unsustainable business model that promises payment to participants based on the amount of additional people they enroll in the business instead of focusing on the sales of goods or services to the public.Beast Boy, Cyborg, Raven, Starfire: Oh.Robin: As you can see here, the exponential growth of the "business" will eventually cause the entire operation to collapse, leaving the participants at the bottom of the pyramid bankrupt while those at the top walk away rich thus the name: Pyramid Scheeeeeeme.Starfire: Interesting. I do have the question. Did the mummies build the pyramids?Robin: There are no mummies! It's not a literal pyramid! My point is: there is no such thing as easy money. You need to earn it with hard labor.Beast Boy: Ew, no way. Hard labor is for criminals and pregnant ladies. But, if you lives on the top of the mummy, you can get rich!Robin: Well, technically, yes, but -Beast Boy: Cyborg is gonna get the most expensive present ever! [Transforms into a dolphin and jumps out the window.]Cyborg: Just give me a card! [Days later, the pelican has money in its mouth. Beast Boy is eating money from a bowl.]Robin: [Launches himself through the window and knocks Beast Boy down. Swings him around and takes the money out of his mouth.] Cough up that dough!Raven: What are you doing to Beast Boy?Robin: He was eating a cash salad and I refuse to stand by [takes the money and puts it in his wallet] and watch money being wasted.Cyborg: Cash salad? Any good?Beast Boy: Mmm, not really. I just gots more money than I can spend so I'm thinking of new ways to use it. Check it! ♪ Boy, I bought a gold boat, bought a gold star. Bought a gold bear, put him in a gold car. Bought a gold fridge, filled it with some gold food. Bought a gold me, I call him the gold dude. I'm making that money, that pyramid mummy money. I'm makin' money, that pyramid scheme money. Making that money, that pyramid mummy money. I'm makin' money, that pyramid scheme money. Girl, I stuff my money brick by brick. Check my gold fronts, I go lick, lick, lick. Need a new wallet, 'cause my money don't fit. Bought a gold bomb, that go tick, tick, tick. Making that money, the pyramid mummy money. I'm makin' money, that pyramid scheme money. Making that money, the pyramid mummy money. I'm makin' money, the pyramid scheme money. ♪Cyborg, Raven, Starfire: Oh!Beast Boy: [Places a crown on Cyborg.] Here's your birthday present by the way.Starfire: Oh, sparkly.Raven: So, where'd you get all this cash?Beast Boy: From the pyramid scheme, yo. I signed up and now I'm a money sheriff. [Dresses like a cowboy.]Cyborg, Raven, Starfire: Ooh.Starfire: What is the money sheriff?Beast Boy: It's kinda like being president of your own company, but with a badge.Cyborg: We want to wear badges and eat money!Beast Boy: You want in, huh? Well, it's super easy. First, give me a hundred dollars.Robin: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You don't give money to make money. That's like paying to have a job and those badges are worthless. They're just to trick you into thinking you have some sort of status. This is why it's called a pyramid scheeeeeeme.Cyborg: Here you go!Starfire:Raven:Beast Boy: [Takes the money.] Great! Now you're my money deputies. [Throws badges at Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven.]Cyborg: Cool. [Dresses as a cowboy.] Reach for the sky, compadres.Starfire: [Dressed as a cowgirl.] Bangs, bangs, horse, horse.Raven: [Dressed as a cowgirl.] Yee-haw!Beast Boy: Lookin' good, y'all. Like you want to make that mummy money.Robin: You are not cowboys and there are no mummies in a pyramid scheme! You are participating in a fraudulent business. What you need is honest work. Hard labor.Starfire: I am not the prisoner! Bang, bang.Cyborg: And I'm no pregnant woman.Raven: We are cowboys, hombre. What's next, sheriff?Beast Boy: Get out there and recruit more deputies! [Cyborg, Starfire, and Raven recruit Batman, the Joker, Billy Numerous, and Doctor Light, rising up the pyramid. That night, the three are eating money outside Titans Tower while Robin watches.]Cyborg: Hungry, partner?Robin: I'm not eating your filthy money.Raven: Hmm. Tastes real clean to me, buckeroo. [Eats money.]Robin: This is disgraceful behavior. This pyramid scheme is going to leave you broke, Titans.Cyborg: Us big money cowboy millionaires broke? Ha-ha!Beast Boy: [Knocks Cyborg's cash salad out of his hand and snatches the money.] Get that cash out of your mouth! Give me that, hurry! No, no, no, no, don't eat that five. [Crawls into Cyborg's mouth and exits out his torso. Grabs money out of Starfire and Raven's mouth and places it in a briefcase.]Raven: Hey. I was still working on that!Beast Boy: Sorry, ma'am, the boss wants his cut of the money or we'll be six feet under.Cyborg, Starfire, Raven: [Gasp.]Robin: See. Only the person at the top of the pyramid gets any money. [The Titans scream as the ground begins shaking.]Beast Boy: Oh, it's the boss. [A pyramid rises and a mummy steps out.]Boss Mummy: Mummy money.Robin: Is that a mummy?Raven: Of course it is.Robin: And you're not surprised?Starfire: Not particularly.Robin: You're not wondering where the money came from?Cyborg: He came from the pyramid. Where else is he supposed to come from?Boss Mummy: Mummy money.Beast Boy: Eh, here you go, mummy. [Hands the briefcase to Boss Mummy.]Boss Mummy: [Looks inside the briefcase and sees wads of money.] Mummy money?Beast Boy: But, but there isn't any more.Raven: We ate the rest.Boss Mummy: Mummy money! [Boss Mummy's mummies surround the Titans. In Egypt, the Titans, no longer dressed as cowboys, are being forced to transport a pyramid stone across the desert.]Raven: [Looks up at the sun.] So hot. [Whipped.]Mummy: Mummy money.Raven: Okay. Okay.Beast Boy: This is my fault. All 'cause I had to buy Cyborg the most expensive birthday present he wanted so much.Starfire: Look where your materialism has gotten us, Cyborg.Cyborg: I would have been satisfied with a hug.Robin: I was wrong too, Beast Boy. I thought pyramid schemes were dangerous, because you risk losing your money, but really it's because of the mummies. [Whipped.]Mummy: Mummy money.Beast Boy: Sorry, guys.Robin: Well, Beast Boy, there's only one way to get out of financial trouble.Beast Boy: You mean hard labor?Raven: We're already doing that, you vermin. [Robin notices they aren't being watched and has the Titans hide behind the pyramid stone.]Robin: The other kind of hard labor?Starfire: Oh, the pregnant kind.Beast Boy: Uh, I think I hear what you're saying. [Transforms into a pregnant chicken and groans.]Cyborg: Remember to breathe, Beastie.Starfire: You're doing great.Beast Boy: [Yells.]Raven: Keep breathing.Robin: Almost there. One more push.Beast Boy: [Yells until he hears a pop.] Ooh.Robin: Congratulations. [Hands Beast Boy an egg.]Cyborg, Starfire, Raven: Aw. [The egg hatches, revealing a chick.]Beast Boy: I'm a mama!Robin: Perfect. [Throws the chick aside and turns the egg upside-down, taking out several items and hedge clippers.] Now that you've learned the value of hard labor, let's get these chains off. [Cuts the chains.]Raven: The key to saving ourselves was inside Beast Boy all along.Beast Boy: [Transforms back into a human.] But what are we gonna do about all these mummies?Robin: Did you forget, Beast Boy?Cyborg: [Dressed as a cowboy.] You're still the sheriff.Starfire: [Dressed as a cowgirl.] And we're your deputies.Raven: [Dressed as a cowgirl.] Yee-haw, hombre!Robin: [Dressed as a cowboy.] I won't let you down, sheriff.Beast Boy: [Dresses himself as a cowboy.] Then let's go long, little doggies. [A mummy notices the chains and gathers the other mummies.]Mummy: Mummy money [The Titans are on top of the pyramid block which Raven is levitating with her soul-self. She drops the block on the mummies. The Titans take their horses and ride toward the pyramid.]Beast Boy: Yee-haw! [The Titans enter the pyramid. Robin throws bird-a-rangs from his boots and blows up mummies. Beast Boy transforms into an ox and knocks several mummies down. Starfire shoots blasts out of her hands at mummies that are shooting at her. Raven makes a portal that Cyborg goes through and exits behind the mummies. He throws them out the window and in front of Boss Mummy.]Boss Mummy: Mummy money!Beast Boy: [Exits pyramid.] This here pyramid ain't big enough for the both of us.Boss Mummy: Mummy money. [Beast Boy and the Boss Mummy stare at each other. A gold bear in a gold car runs over Boss Mummy.]Beast Boy: Gold bear, you crazy, dude. [The horses are eating money while the Titans gather in front of the pyramid.]Robin: Well, Titans, I hope you all learned about the dangers of pyramid scheeeeeemes.Starfire: The mummies are scary.Raven: Super scary.Cyborg: But being a cowboy, hoo doggy, is fun.Beast Boy: Well, in that case, buckeroos, I know what we gots to do. [Mounts a horse.] Ride into the sunset, baby! Yee-haw! [The Titans follow Beast Boy toward the sunset, cheering.]
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