CORE!Noelle! Part 1-7 (DIARY FORMAT)

Dear Dairy.
Haven't written in a while. But I plan to! This will be "Day 1." Today I went to the libarby and got a book on Time and Space that Berdly recommended for "smart people people like him." I find it interesting and pretty cool! Maybe someone could make a thing to I dunno, erase past mistakes? Seems like i'm jumping the shark again. On another note Kris invited me to...enter the storage closet with Susie...It was...a strange offer. But I'm sure they mean well enough however, I had to say no, I have so much work to do. But with this Dairy I can decompress so...Happy Day 1!
Day 2.
Berdly is impressed with my dedication to science even if he thinks it's just a phase. Perhaps he's right, but this truly could benefit the town! The World! I've haven't had anything to come home to since....before dad got sick. I won't let that ruin my mood! I think i'll goto the forest to read tomorrow. Oh before I forget, dad is getting better and better everyday and it warms my heart when he can tell me a story. (Even if it was one I already heard.) or a joke. Dad really likes it when we talk about video games. I should make some room to play those, that'll make him happy.
Day 3.
I went to the forest today, it's lovely this time of year. I heard something though. A weird noise, I followed to find a moss cover rusted bunker. I opened the heavy door to a flood of darkness and deafening silence. As if the birds and all sounds of nature stopped on command. It was creepy. I closed the door and brushed my hands on my skirt. The Rust, dust, and moss was gross! But I wanna know what's inside such a bunker... Maybe tomorrow since it's the weekend and i'll have time.
Day 4.
I got my Flashlight, ball of yarn, snacks, and my diary i'll write down more stuff if anything comes up.
Really Dusty.
It's cold.
Smells like mildew.
It's really damp.
Lots of old Computers and lab equipment.
Spiders. (Ew.)
Box of papers with weird writings on it.
Day 4. (Continued)
I took the box from the bunker. It had some scrap metal and a few gross spiders in it but after a good puff of air to get rid of the dust and alot of bug spray to kill the spiders. I got the notes. I don't understand them. It's written in some sort of emoticon language. Maybe Mrs. Alphys can help. I went home. I took a shower, and I went outside and met the new Skeletons in town. Sans is the small one and is also a shop keep of grocery store. That's nice, we needed something like a general store since the last one was closed. Papyrus is the tall one and is very nice and friendly,I like him he seems like he has a good heart and looks up to Undyne. Dad is steadily getting better and better like always!
Day 5.
I went to Alphys apartment. She was in pajama's and reeked of ramen noodles. I told her about the papers she seemed interested and told me to get a book on Wingding translations. So I went to the Libarby got a book and got to work. After translating the pages it seems to be about a machine or device or something that can RESET a timeline or SAVE at a certain point in one. I'm going to go back to that bunker tomorrow.
Day 6.
I went back but to the bunker this time...it felt like I was being watched, like eyes were piercing my soul, it felt like my spine turned to ice from the chills. I felt like I needed to run and get out, I ran around the bunker collecting more research as fast as I could. I felt my heart pounding against my ribs. I felt like I was being poisoned from the cold and darkness. I can't describe to you the wonderful feeling of running out of that bunker. The sun on my face and skin. The fresh air. Oh my God it was like being free from a curse. About those notes and research. Doctor Gaster. That's who writes these (I think)and speaks of a vessel with an ability to effect time and space.Vessels....Vessels are another word boat right? I think I should check by the lake for any boats or something like that.
Day 7
No boats. What does it mean? "Vessel" like a body? Who is a vessel? Am I the vessel since I entered that bunker? Is Doctor Gaster the Vessel? Who could it be? I need to go back and get more notes this weekend i'll write about it when I do in my diary, since i'm mostly going to work on school for the rest of the week. I'm also going to bring Susie and Kris along if I can, that bunker has something or someone inside there...
Day 8.
Happy Friday! It's been about a week since I last written so, it really should be like day 14 or 15 but i'm only counting days involving the Vessel, Gaster, and lab stuff. Susie was excited to go on this being the adventurous brave type...I wish I could be so confident like her...Kris on the other hand seemed frightened at the mere mention of going inside. It was strange seeing them in a state of terror like that. I told them they could didn't have to go. But Susie persisted and well y'know Susie she's brash and up front! We went along in the bunker the feeling of being watched and the cold was less intense. Susie being Susie brushed it off as a draft. She's so cool. Kris look like they were about to have a heart attack. I held their hand in reassurance it seem to calm them down. We collected more notes and then went to the Diner to have something to eat! Overall a wonderful Friday afternoon.
Day 9.
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. KRIS IS INVOLVED SOMEHOW IT MAKES SENSE! NO WONDER THEY WERE SCARED OF THE BUNKER! I'M BLOWN AWAY! DOCTOR GASTER MADE A VESSEL WITH A HUMAN SOUL IN IT BUT THE ONLY HUMAN HERE IS KRIS! KRIS IS THE VESSEL!
Day 9. (Continued.)
Okay. I calmed down, mom had to pin me down and made sure I didn't hyperventilate. Haha. Alright i'm going to ask Kris about this...if I only knew how to approach them.How do I say. "Hey I think you're part of a experiment involving with time and space!" Maybe show them the notes? Ask about why they're scared of the bunker? Maybe about Doctor Gaster. We'll see!
Day 9. (Continued.)
Kris....Kris freaked out and tried to destroy the notes when I said the name "Doctor Gaster". They screamed like there life depended on it. It was scary those eyes, those red eyes staring into my soul. It's like I flipped a switch! I could feel their animalistic fear like they were cornered in a fight or flight situation. Thank God Susie was there to hold them back. I felt bad that I had to tell Mrs. Toriel on them, it felt wrong, like it wasn't their fault like something made them. I'll write more on this tomorrow I need some sleep.
Day 10.
I checked on Kris today. They were where extremely apologetic and looked upset. I forgave them and only asked for a few questions about these notes the "vessel" and Doctor Gaster. They shuttered and I remember those words and that weak voice. "I...can't...." I don't understand why they are so afraid of someone who is dead or gone. Doctor Gaster has no records of ever existing besides these notes and even then aside from the name. I'm not even sure they're his. Although I don't understand Kris's fear I respect their choice not to talk about it.
Day 10 (Continued.)
I decided to enter the bunker alone. The atmosphere was heavy with that feeling of being watched and the freezing chill in my spine being intense without someone with me. I know no one is here so I went deeper into the bunker with my trail of yarn to guide me back if need be. I thought I was alone when suddenly something that looked like a skull peered from the shadows, submerging itself from the darkness. Its shape was alien nothing like any animal I've ever seen! It had ghostly white pupils surrounded by darkness. It's jaw rattled with a sound like bones clanking and smacking against each other. I froze, I was terrified by it's mere presence and monstrous look! It opened its mouth showing rows of steak knife like teeth that were white as snow. When it opened it's mouth it had a white light in it's mouth the brightness radiating from it's mouth lit the room like a sun. Before I could process this a loud sound fired off in my eardrums, my entire body was engulfed in a indescribable pain. A beam of white light pierced my soul and the surrounding darkness that consumed the room reveling it's contents for a moment. I couldn't stop looking despite the pain, my trance was broken by a voice. "Get. Out." No matter the context or order of the words, it sounded wrong, like the voice didn't fit. Like it wasn't meant to be uttered. But at the time I didn't think about that. I ran, I ran for as fast as I could of that bunker, white beams and the sound of the skulls cannon like blast with the rattling of bones. Was someone in that bunker and I didn't know til now? And...I just realized I left empty handed....damn it. On another negative note I lost some HP but oddly enough it wasn't deathly seemed like a warning shot. I gotta be more careful, I'll bring Susie next time so I can cover more ground and i'll be safer.
Day 11.
I brought Susie some chalk, strange but, they seem to enjoy it. After that we went into that bunker again this time no weird skulls or voices. Susie was very uncomfortable this time, the atmosphere was clearly getting to them. Nothing like hand holding and taking their minds off things by asking about this "Dark World." It worked. It was interesting and i'm happy Susie has friends other than me and Kris. Ralsei sounds really pleasant and I told her I'd like to meet them someday soon.
Day 11 (Continued.)
After we got a some coco, visited Sans, and said our good byes. Now I can write about those notes we collected and the blueprint. Let's start with the elephant in the room. The blueprints. It's....that skull I saw! "Gaster Blaster." Suppose Doctor Gaster was so proud of this he named it after himself. It's a weapon that hurts more if the foe has more LV. I have 1 LV. since i'm not a murderer obviously. But it's also meant to used with many Gaster Blasters in mind. So perhaps I should watch out for myself just in case they're more than I could handle.
Day 12.
I skipped track and cross country to translate and study notes. Berdly is jealous of me because now i'm the number one science student in the class. Sorry Berdly! But you did this to yourself by giving me that book! Mrs Alphys is impressed with my dedication so is my mom and dad, i'm so happy and I can't express how grateful I am. However, mom said if I skip track again i'll get kicked out and that'll harm my chances at going to College. Speaking of College Kris's brother came home this week, they were not really interested in my notes but they were nice enough to listen. Kris is so happy their brother is home. I'm glad that their better than they were not to long ago.
Day 13.
Another week of the same old same old. But today I found something with Susie while exploring the bunker. It was mind blowing. I entered a room to have the door slammed behind me. I ran to it trying to open it but it was locked. I turned around to see myself in another room. It had pillars holding the ceiling up with a sea of steam bellow with walkways held above it. I walked over to have a look over and see the steam flowing like a river, but then. I felt a cold hand touch me. "You want to see what happens to naughty children that don't listen?" Before I could say anything I was pushed over the rail guarding the walkway into the seemingly endless sea of steam, I fell for what felt like hours until I hit the ground and was surrounded by darkness again. I didn't even have time to take a breath before I was blinded by so many sights, sounds and even smells! I saw myself die here. I saw people I know die from Kris. I saw people I knew with people I never met! Did I see possible timelines or universes? I saw a timeline or universe where monsters were trapped undergrounds and Mr. Asgore and Mrs. Toriel where king and Queen. I saw monsterkind in that timeline or world get freed or slaughtered all in the hands of a child. I saw a timeline or universe similar to mine where Kris is a hero of a another world or the destroyer of it. Was this real? Did I hit my head to hard when I walked into this room? The voice from a earlier grabbed my attention. "Unless you want to be stuck in between worlds and fizzle in and out of reality stop trying to know about me." As soon as the voice stopped talking I was back in that room like nothing happened. I even after all that. Can't even speak about it to Susie. I don't even know what to say. We left with some more notes and I had to excuse myself as soon as we left the bunker. I threw up in the woods and passed out under a tree.I later woke up in my bed, mom says I caught the flu. This won't stop me I have to know what is going on in that bunker!
Day 14.
After a week of missing school, I had to use the weekends to play catch up. But if all I did was school work I wouldn't write in this journal. No, I have something for my data from the week of being bedridden with the flu I had weird dreams. Mom said they were just fever dreams, but I strongly believe it was a sign. I had dreams of the Timelines or Universes I saw when I was trapped in that room. But it wasn't the same. It was snip bits of similar scenarios with different outcomes. These outcomes relied on one human child. If the childs LV. was high the higher chance they would kill an enemy the lower the LV. The likelihood that they would show mercy went up. A very good example is with their encounter with Papyrus or an alternate version of Papyrus. Sometimes Papyrus would fight them, tire, and then would offer mercy to the human. Mercy was a very common outcome, then a date. However, sometimes Papyrus would not fight the human out of fear and would offer them mercy, unlike the previous Papyrus they would usually perish. It was heart wrenching to watch such a good (if very naive) person due to such a heartless person. However, that Timeine or Universe felt distant , yet close. It had people I knew, but foreign places I never saw. Asgore and Toriel were oddly enough still in an estranged marriage, I oddly took comfort in that. At least these two elements are shared between the Timelines or Universes. This Asgore however, wasn't just a victim of being too kind or generous he...he was a murderer, perhaps it was necessary to free his people? No. Even he saw that as a shallow excuse. Sans however, was in a stranger position in this. He was some sort of judge with a hidden streak. He seems to be able to give the kid a "bad time" if they slaughter nearly everyone. I wonder if my Sans can do that. Sans in this world used the same weapons that attacked me, "Gaster Blasters" is he connected to Doctor Gaster too? Asriel was the strangest of them all he was a soulless flower in this Universe or Timeline, they had a sibling named Chara. Chara...Chara is strange, looking like Kris in terms of dress. But I remember watching an ENTIRE timeline die from them. I woke up from that crying, I felt the pain of that world, the sins of that human on my entire soul. I wept for hours from the that stress and emotional pain. But after seeing many "Endings" and RESETS I finally felt well enough to go back to school.
Day 15.
Sans acted very strange when I asked him about Doctor Gaster, his eyes retreated into his skull and only said this to me. "Kid... Some things should just stay forgotten..." It felt like the world stood still when he talked like that. But almost instantly, in a blink of an eye things were normal and he talked like I never even asked the question. I learned from Kris not to push for questions from people relating to Doctor Gaster and the last thing I want is to be blasted to smithereens or my body slammed around the walls of the store. I politely excused myself from Sans and went to the bunker. This time I brought a kitchen knife from my house and a sling shot with some marbles and I entered the bunker flashlight in hand. I entered deeper into the bunker than before. I opened a new door. This room had the Judgement hall from the other Timeline or Universe inside.  I entered the room carefully and walked down the long hallway, no one was there, but not even a moment later the child entered the halls and when they got to where I was standing Sans walked from behind a pillar. "That.... That's the look of someone who died 2 times..." He said with a mocking and sly tone. The sound of birds would be quickly drowned out by the Gaster Blasters thundering sound and the sound of bones hitting the pillars and floor surrounding the area. I wanted to get out, but I couldn't I could only watch I tried yelling, I tried stopping them by touching them. Attacks would phase through me. My hands and body would phase through Sans and the human. All I could do is sit and watch. Around the Childs 20th attempt to take Sans's life the door would reappear in the middle of the hall. It had its frame and hinges, but it was up against nothing I opened the door to see the bunker. After quickly going back inside the bunker. I heard that voice again. "You are like me aren't you? Not stopping till you get all your answers and understand everything..." I quickly grabbed my sling shot and looked around wildly for Gaster Blasters or any sort of attack. "It's okay Child I will not harm you..." I didn't know why, but I put away my sling shot. "Excellent... It's nice to see I still have fans of my work." I wanted to scream for them to come out, but I knew that could possibly lead into something I didn't want. A figure would walk out of the darkness with only his hands and face visible. His face looked like a well-worn theater show mask with two perfectly straight and parallel cracks one going straight down to the top of his socket the other going up. His smile was unnerving with no teeth or anything that a mouth has. Just darkness. He offered me his hand to shake, it was skeletal boney and dry with two perfect circles carved into the palms. "Perhaps I should apologize for scaring you and attacking you earlier." I could only blurt out one thing. "What are you?" The figure stood before me it's smiled widened. "I'm Doctor Gaster." I couldn't believe it. This was the person I studied for weeks. I still can't explain how I feel. I tried to say something, but he interrupted me. "Here here take these and study them  come back when you have all this understood and memorized!" He looked like he hadn't been this excited for something in a while. So I took the box that came from seemingly nowhere and went home. "Good bye Noelle..." I didn't know how to respond to him knowing my name I was shocked but I said goodbye and went home. I couldn't say no he looked so happy.
Day 16.
Incredible! Timelines are events or outcomes that happen.Like when that human child saves or destroys that underground while a Universe is the underground itself. We are in a alternate Universe! Hometown is a separate entity from the Underground. But if timelines are caused by certain choices and decisions does that mean there is a timeline where my dad doesn't get sick? I think it does! It's time to work harder than I ever had in my life. I'm going to study the Space time continuum and try to harvest the ability to RESET and SAVE. I just gotta look around for who or what can save. But today after insistent pushing I'm going to the school storage closet. I hope for once Berdly is wrong. "They're just going to kiss in there and probably kiss you!" Ewwwww Gross!...Then again...
Day 16.  (Continued)
Amazing! The storage closet is a doorway to another world is it an alternate universe or pocket dimension? Maybe I should ask Doctor Gaster? Next week I have to show him to Susie, Kris will have to wait once I ask about Kris to Gaster about why they got violent. Ralsei is as pleasant as Susie said I even had some wonderful cake and tea. Lancer was a little boy who was recently crowned king and it shows. So many things someone his age would enjoy, but his people seem happy. The people are called "Darkeners" unlike monsters like me and Susie they bleed.   (Thought I note that for possible research.) A unproductive but informative day.
Day 17.
I went to the bunker again and I handed Doctor Gaster, my finished translating notes and he asked me questions to make sure I understood. It lasted for about half an hour. I asked him some questions apparently he fell down the CORE a place in the same universe as monsters being trapped Underground. His body was warped and corrupted now he's "in-between worlds" as he put it. We conducted experiments involving timelines. Mostly just watching them. He said something strange. "Just wait till you see those AU's they get pretty wild." I couldn't help but laugh at the way he put it. He made tea? I couldn't tell you what was in my cup. It looked like random garbage code. I drank it the texture was like sandpaper and the taste was bitter. Perhaps black coffee? Gaster is happy to have me around as the company he likes to listen to my day's at school. He is utterly sympathetic to me and my dad. I asked if we could RESET or goto a certain SAVE point to where my dad isn't sick or a timeline where my dad is healthy. He said it was plausible. I asked if we could work on a device or method to get there. He said yes! I was so excited I could barely contain myself. But unfortunately I had to go home and do my school work.
Day 18.
I asked how we would be able to RESET or SAVE... Well.... we need Kris. I asked why. "Their soul is filled with DETERMINATION Noelle if you want to be able to control fate, why not have literally fate itself in your hands.' A fair point. I asked why Kris is scared of Gaster. He smiled. "They are afraid of their punishment." Punishment what could he mean? Did Kris do something bad? I didn't bother asking out of fear I'd get some answer I didn't actually want. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Why didn't I ask he's not mad at me! I was such an idiot at that moment of weakness. Oh well. I can ask next week, but at least I know that I can make my dads life better. Next week... next week only 7 days.
Monday.
Yes, I know this isn't Friday or the weekends, but I had to put this down. I decided to tell Kris firmly but politely that I want to know what's going on between them and Doctor Gaster. They kept avoiding the question I told them about how with their help we could fix a lot of past mistakes. They gave me a cruel look before telling me to go away. I nearly lost my temper that very moment, I had to hold it in. I tried telling them the work that could help my dad. They pushed me to the ground and raised a knife at me! I felt my heart and body go numb and cold. I could barely muster a squeak before the world went to black. I woke up my bed. I didn't have any injuries I checked the date. It was Monday. I checked the time. 7am. What is happening? Was this a RESET? Do other people know?
Day 19.
I didn't ask Kris again, I didn't tell anyone about but Doctor Gaster about the incident. It was a RESET my hypothesis was correct and he's  surprised that I can remember. Apparently it's because I was subjected to seeing the multiple timelines from different universes. I asked him what Kris did and why are they like this? "They will fight tooth and nail to keep that SOUL even if they are not the original harbor of it." At that point he didn't make sense how could it not be Kris's SOUL. I tried to ask, but Doctor Gaster started chuckling to myself. "You don't believe me, do you? Ohohoho." I couldn't even get a say in he just giggled and smiled to himself. Zero research was done.Zero experiments were done. It was a waste of a Friday night.
Day 20.
I confronted Kris about stabbing me. Their eyes went small. "How... How do you remember that?" The said with a mixture of shame and shock. I told them to shut up! "You think you're above the consequences!? I want answers and I won't take no as an answer!" I felt so satisfied saying that. Kris let out a sigh. "I'm the vessel. Noelle. I harvest a SOUL that isn't mine." "But I'm not telling you this because I have a change of heart.... No..... I'm telling you this because you'll be dead!" They pulled out their knife, but luckily for me, I had my sling shot I can't beat Kris but I can stun them. "I won't let you or HIM use me like a lab rat again!" Did Doctor Gaster hurt them? I wasn't sure, but I'm sure they'd hurt me! So I launched a marble hitting them right between the eyes disorienting them before running.    (Like Hell, if I may add!) I went to the bunker and hid. Doctor Gaster greeted me. "Why are you here so early?" He said drinking his mystery drink. I told them that Kris wants to kill me. Doctor Gaster gave a concerned look. "I am only bound to certain places within realities I cannot leave the bunker without a risk of me being erased or corrupted in this reality." I didn't fully understand why but he couldn't but now I know he couldn't. "Do not worry child they will not come in here." My mind had a thousand and one thoughts racing at one. I how long am I going to be in here? What if they won't stop no matter where they are or what the situation is? Doctor Gaster placed his freezing hand on my shoulder. "It will be alright. I promise they will not hurt you." I hope he's right. Because now that Kris knows that I can remember their RESETS. I don't think he'll RESET when I dust.
Day 20.  (Continued)
I can't just sit here in fear! Kris is going to just wait and I can't just be a hermit inside a bunker! Maybe I can use Doctor Gaster's weapons...
Day 20.  (Continued from 10 minutes ago.)
Yes! He said we'd make me something that would fit me better, however... Monsters my age don't really know how to use magic because well it was deemed unnecessary and could lead to violence. How ironic. A cording to Doctor Gaster. "Monsters develop magic that matches their personality specials and interest. I was a Skeleton so my attacks cannot be mimicked by a Reindeer." I really hope I'm not going to defeat Kris with Christmas carols and decorations. Doctor Gaster would practice with me. Time wasn't an issue for Kris keeps RESETING to try and find me. The inside of the bunker is the only thing immune to RESETS and all contents inside. Even if they're taken out any changes to them or if they're moved they will stay put or in the condition they were put in. I practiced dodging and attacking with a weapon. He said magic comes from the SOUL of a monster and has to be triggered so he had to give me a brutal trigger. Gaster Blasters my favorite! I still ache, but I managed to form an attack!... Candy Canes.... Tree ornaments.... And lights.... Noelle you are going to die looking like a fool.
Day 20.  (Continued)
Doctor Gaster said not to be upset or embarrassed and that we'd upgrade/modify my attacks to make them stronger. Well, time to put my art and craft skills to use!
Day 20.  (Continued)
I feel.... Awful, so tired my HP is so low. Let me give you a run down of what happened.
He made my SOUL appear.
Injected DETERMINATION into it.
It hurt so bad I nearly died from the energy pounding my SOUL to the very core.
My eyes felt weird like they were going to bulge out of my skull.
I need a nap.
Day 20.  (Continued)
Doctor Gaster increased the magic maturity process by YEARS that could've of killing me! How could he risk my life like that!? I may be less experience than him but this is basic monster biology! This is illegal! He told me to quit whining, but this is serious! He said I was ready to fight Kris... I'm scared but I want to go home, I want to see my dad it feels like I've been in this bunker for weeks when it's only been zero minutes. It's a strange thought to think that all this training and experimentation technically lasted in no time. But my attacks are faster I feel energetic now and I have snacks I'm ready.
Day 20.  (Continued)
It took a while, I left like an eternity, but I managed to strike a deal with Kris. They Answer my questions and I stop destroying their souls. I didn't like fighting. Sure, I could dodge their knife easily, but I hate being violent. Using my attacks felt right, but Gaster Blasters are strange.... It's not my style. It's very foreign and tiring to use.  Kris would answer my questions and stop trying to kill me in exchange for them not having to face Gaster. The strange thing is about using attacks is that they vanish. These huge attacks that are visible just go away. But now I'm the strongest kid in hometown. I bet Susie would be mixed between impressed and jealous. But I'm exhausted and I need sleep for school.

Day ???
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Day 21.
My diet is getting stranger and stranger. I only want mints. Everything else is disgusting and makes me gag. I can't sleep ever since I got that experiment done to me by Gaster. What is happening to me. I can't feel my fingertips sometimes so I bite them to feel the pain. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see nothing. What is happening, what is happening? Am I dying? Am I being ERASED from existence? I WANT TO SCEAM! But I can't my voice be weak, I feel tired and weak. Am I getting sick? Dad said I should ease up on my research. But I can't dad, I'm doing this for you. Please understand.

Day 23.
I slept for 2 days and I feel awful. Caffeine is my only subsidence, I should go see a doctor...
Day 23.
The doctor said I stressed my body to its limits. "It's odd since you're not a magic user Noelle please be careful and take it easy." Oh if you only knew Doctor.
Monday.
So tired... I looked in the mirror today I have bags under my eyes, I feel like I have the flu. Mom took my temperature. Normal. Damn it...I had to drag myself out of bed and go to School. Berdly is so annoying! He thinks he's above everyone else because he's a top student. I want to blast him into oblivion and his stupid smile! UGH. Everyone is so annoying and frustrating to deal with. I am not in the mood or condition to deal with stupidity. My fur is matted and in knots everywhere I have a coffee stain on my sweater. Today can officially go jump in a lake. At least I have my wonderful lunch ready.
Monday.  (12:30pm)
No lunch!? I forgot to pack myself a lunch unbelievable! At least some people aren't stupid and insufferable. Susie gave me an apple and their Milk. She's always been there for me helping me get notes and always asking to hang out. People don't understand her. I understand now people are starting to not understand me. My dedication to my research and work. My undying love for my family. What's hard to understand? The tales of the bunker holding evil demons are something I used to subscribe to. But I hardly consider Doctor Gaster a demon. But Susie isn't this brute people depict her to be. Am I'm not truing into a gremlin. People make up a narrative to help cope with the fact they're bored with life. My head hurts, it feels like someone decided to play a drum with my skull. I can't wait to go home and get some rest. I want to get away from Kris and their intense stare they give me every time we cross paths. I feel if I said one wrong thing it lead into a fight. I don't think I could defeat him in my exhausted state of being. Just gotta act nice for a little bit longer keep up the "nice kid" act till I can go home.
Tuesday.
I keep looking worse and worse. The worst part I have to go see the eye doctor today. My eyes keep getting darker. I'm getting more sloppy when I eat or drink. Susie pointed out the massive coffee stain on my fur around my mouth. I need to get a grip. How could I get any work done in my exhausted state? The Doctor said I should be better by next week. I don't think I could last that long but hey! Let's try anyway! Berdly, I will punch you in your stupid face if you don't stop talking about your HALF POINT HIGHER GRADE AVERAGE! Calm down Noelle it's not worth scaring the class. Noelle getting suspended for attacking and strangling Berdly would probably give all the rumors about Susie a run for their money. It would be pretty amusing to hear what excuses the students could make about why Noelle Holiday snapped. Thank God Alphys could read my expression and stopped any conflict from happening. Susie on the other hand was on the edge of her seat jabbing at Kris hyping it up to be some sort of world renowned fight of the century. She even said I should've swung for the stars. I couldn't help but give a small pathetic smile and tired look. They patted my back and give a heartfelt cackle. I want to tell her everything.But I feel like she'd be scared away and never talk to me again. Why is that the thing that scares me the most? Not the fact my world is being held in the palms of Kris or my body could be in an unstable condition. That's the fact I could lose a friend. Am I stupid? Maybe I can talk to Gaster about it after my eye check up.
Wednesday.
Ugh. I hate these stupid rectangle glasses I look so dorky. But at least Doctor Gaster gave me a gift when I visited him yesterday an old lab coat, it's a little big but it feels nice and warm. I feel cool in it and it's the first time I felt something in a while besides fear, confusion, or tiredness.   (Although I am still very exhausted.) My headaches stopped. I thought it was normal getting a headache from reading, especially if what you're reading is in another language. Berdly questioned the use of the lab coat. I asked the use of him talking. The class erupted in laughter with Susie leading the cavalcade of mockery and insult. I couldn't but feel a little bad. Sorry Berdly! You brought this upon yourself! Susie would give me a high five and said what I did was cool. I couldn't help but get a little embarrassed. It wasn't that cool. But she insisted and you know Susie once she's made up her mind, it's damn impossible to change it. She also didn't mock my dress or window sized glasses so that was a plus. She did say that the glasses made my tired look more noticeable. Well, you can't win them all, can you? Today was a nice day.
Thursday.
I felt like I slept on bricks this morning and my antlers got caught in my bed frame again. Great another pleasant and perfect morning, but nothing like a warm cup of coffee to raise you up when you want to collaspe. I grabbed my coat and I went to school. Berdly was still fuming over yesterday. I left him be he'll get over it. I fell asleep in class and nobody woke me up. Now I have to work over the weekend, Gaster will not be happy with me next week. Oh well, I want my life to be like Asriel's where it's successful and not that weird Cat guy who looks like he's about to murder someone. Speaking of cats, Catti hasn't spoken to me in a while I feel bad about not talking to her. I should text her more, poor thing is in a rough spot right now. But I shouldn't dwell on that I have work to do.