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- >Be Anonymous.
- >Boy, you fucked up big.
- >Lost your job.
- >Lost your apartment.
- >No friends in this town.
- >You fled your home town in terror from the angry mob that set your 'Falafel and Body Waxing' salon on fire.
- >All you have is your suit and your wits.
- >Well, what's left of your suit.
- >Lookin' a little raggedy there, sport.
- >And a cardboard sign you made out of the bottom of a box and a sharpie marker you lifted from a QuickEMart
- >Can't go in there again, can ya?
- >Who knew those little persian guys were such excellent shots?
- >Spend most of the day sitting with your back against the wall, staring people right in the calves.
- >You had a coffee cup to collect change in, but some hulking brute took that last week.
- >You smell like the men's room in a subway station.
- >You look like the men's room in a subway station shoved into an increasingly tatty suit.
- "... spare change?"
- >Shit, son, you can't even afford capital letters anymore.
- "... spare change?"
- >"Get a job, creep!"
- "... and to your wonderful family as well."
- >At least you still remember to keep the smartass rejoiners down since that... incident with the squeegee.
- "... spare change?"
- >You are hit right in the eye by a dime.
- >Asshole.
- >You now have one dime, a black eye and no depth perception.
- "... spare change?"
- >"... Anon?"
- >ohshit
- >You're on your feet and three yards away when she says your name again.
- >... she?
- >You turn just a little.
- >You wouldn't forget that hairstyle if they put you shock therapy.
- "... sunny?
- >There she is.
- >Big as life and just as freakin' beautiful.
- >"Anonymous... is that you?"
- "mrmlbmjfnf,,"
- >Smooth, Jackson.
- >Try that again.
- ".... hi."
- >Still wears those gogo boots she wore in high school.
- >Well, why mess with a classic?
- >You can't really see much else because you're staring down at her shoes.
- >"Anonymous... I didn't know you'd moved to town? The last I heard you had a startup...?"
- >Unspoken question: What went wrong?
- "mmnfnfnn...didn't work out.."
- >Unspoken answer: I am a massive fuckup. Please take me out of the game.
- >The boots shuffle a little. You might guess the Sunset they're attached to is feeling uncomfortable.
- >"Have you been... out... *here*... all this time?"
- "...had a couple nights in the shelter... couple nights in a mission... and a fun filled three weeks in county for vagrancy..."
- >She laughs
- >Of course she's laughing.
- >You're fuckin' laughable, aren't ya?
- >"Hey..."
- >You feel someone touch your shoulder and for the first time in months it isn't to push you away or try to bend you over something.
- >"Eyes up here, Non."
- >Non. When's the last time *anybody* called you that?
- >Hell, when's the last time a female said 'Eyes up here" to you and didn't have pepper spray in hand?
- >You heroically struggle to stop staring at the ground.
- >EYE CONTACT ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.
- >Wow.
- >Yeah she's only improved since high school.
- >"Non... you look like hell."
- "...well you look... freakin' amazing. still. always."
- >Time to run away, isn't it? Before a cop tasers you for assaulting an attractive person.
- "look... i gotta... go... thing..."
- >You turn to go.
- >You can't go.
- >She has your shoulder.
- >Dang she has a grip.
- >"I'm in town for a week. The hotel I'm staying in put me in a double queen room. And my work is paying for it."
- >You try and come up with a response.
- >All of them try to get out at once and you make a sound like you're choking on your own choad.
- >Smooth as always, dickhead.
- >"The correct answer, Non, is 'yes.'
- >You blink a few times.
- >"Come on, Non. I know you can make that word. Yuh-eee-ess."
- "... okay."
- >"That wasn't the word I was trying for, but I'll accept it."
- >You follow Sunset at a respectable distance for a few blocks
- >She stops, grabs your ratty old suit coat arm and drags you up to walk next to her.
- >You walk a little more upright.
- >Even try to finger-comb your hair, although that's kind of a pointless exercise.
- >County likes to shave 'em down during intake.
- >"Buzz cut, Non? That's so not like you."
- "... didn't have much choice. they let me keep my ears, though..."
- >She laughs at that. She laughed at... a lot of the stuff you said, back then.
- >Wonder what happened.
- >Oh yeah. She found a guy, went to college, moved away, was happy.
- >Wonder what that's like...
- >... not finding a guy. No.
- >Any initial research into that area turned up a big NOPE NOPE NOPE.
- >ESPECIALLY after County.
- >Damn she is staying at a fancy hotel.
- >The doorman - yeah, doorman - is about halfway to "is this man bothering you, ma'am?" when she waves him off .
- >She guides you to the elevator and doesn't say a word until the door closes.
- >"... Non? I'd give you a big hug but right now you smell awful."
- "yeah... sorry."
- >"So, first you fix that. Then we'll hug."
- >Anonymous, this is your brain. Message begins:
- >WAT
- >Repeat
- >WAT
- >Over.
- >While you're sorting that out, she guides you (nice carpet, this place) to her hotel room.
- >Damn. Someone's making a killing on business travellers.
- >She aims you at the bathroom and hands you a big plastic bag.
- >"Your clothing - in there. Shoes too. I'll see if any of it's salvageable."
- >You're left holding the bag (HA) when she turns to pick up the room phone.
- >"Concierge? Hiii, this is Ms. Shimmer in 1434..."
- >... Ms?
- >"Yes... a friend of mine... his luggage got lost and I was wondering if you could send up some shaving cream, a razor... and a couple pair of boxer shorts..."
- >She looks up, sees you still standing there holding a plastic bag and a confused expression.
- >She makes "shooing" gestures toward the bathroom.
- >"Size medium.. yes... an a couple of t-shirts. Yes you can charge those to the room. *Thank* you *so* much... just a couple more things... "
- >She looks up at you and mouths "GO" rather... forcefully.
- >You go into the bathroom, close the door, and strip.
- >Your suit practically stands on its own.
- >You put it into the bag. It resists.
- >You're certain you hear bits of it break off.
- >In your pockets: that dime, a losing lottery ticket, and a couple of mints you got from... somewhere.
- >The dime goes on the counter, the rest goes in the garbage.
- >You go in the shower.
- >Hot water, soap, shampoo, and no risk of anal violation.
- >It's like religion in there.
- >There is even a freaking loofa.
- >You could develop a deep, meaningful relationship with this bathroom.
- >There's a knock.
- "... berberlbblbbl...."
- >Do not answer door while facing shower.
- "... yeah?"
- >"I'm hanging a robe on the hook in here. Please make sure you're wearing it when you come out?"
- "... kay."
- >You go back to communing with the gods of hot water and suds.
- >Eventually the shower wins.
- >You can simply not be any cleaner.
- >You swear you lost three pounds in there.
- >Hey look - fingernails! Those sumbitches are like... not black!
- >You dry yourself off. A lot. Towels. Oh god.
- >You wonder if you can marry a hotel bathroom.
- >You wrap yourself in the bathrobe equivalent of orgasm and open the door, letting all that steam escape.
- >"Hey you're alive!"
- >Sunny's sitting at the little table next to the little minibar, with a glass of something amber colored and ice cubes.
- "... thank you, sunny... i feel..."
- >"You *look* human, too."
- "... yay me?"
- >Sunny nods and points at the minibar.
- >You open it up and can hear the money escaping.
- >You look over at her.
- >"Orange juice. And ... get both of the expensive chocolate bars. I'm having one."
- >Her wish... your command... or something clever like that.
- >Chocolate and orange juice. Nice.
- >When *was* the last time you ate?
- "so... yeah... how did..."
- >While you get outside of your first meal in ... a while... Sunny gives you what's obviously a ruthlessly edited version of What Happened After High School.
- >Highlights:
- >High School Sweetheart
- >Together through college
- >She got a BA
- >He got a BS
- >They got married.
- >They got jobs.
- >She settled down happily
- >He didn't.
- >She caught him with two... no three different girls in rapid order.
- >Divorce.
- >New job. New town.
- >Doing all right.
- >Jesus Christ, Anonymous, what happened to you?
- >You feel the corner of your mouth twitch up.
- >You kill the rest of the OJ and make a significant look toward the rest of the mini bottle of scotch.
- >She pushes it over to you.
- >You... remember that civilized people put that shit in a glass before they drink it.
- >You put that shit in a glass.
- >You drink it.
- >SLOWLY.
- >Difficulty level: Really fuckin' hard.
- "let's start with..."
- >You clear your throat. You can talk like a human. Really.
- "Let's start with 'My name is Anonymous and I am a fuckup...."
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