Log Horizon Chapter 61 - Questionable Translation

Practicing my questionable translating skills that severely sacrifices accuracy for readability with Log Horizon Volume 7's chapter 61 (for the web novel). Obviously, I need to start with the suffering.

Spoilers for Volume 7.

Raw: http://ncode.syosetu.com/n8725k/61/
Illustration from Volume 7: http://i.imgur.com/MPcxZS5.jpg

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目が醒めたウィリアムは視界に霞むほど高い天井を見上げた。
William woke up, looking at the hazy ceiling that stretched as far as he could see.

喉がひりついて嗄れた声が溢れる。
A stinging, hoarse cry rose from his throat. (TL: 溢 is overflowing, but I decided to go with rose.)

自分がどんなに情けなく、しみったれた顔をしているのかはわかっていたが、漏れだすような低い声を我慢することはできなかった。
No matter how shameful he felt from it, in spite of his miserly honor, he knew it was impossible to repress his low voice.
(TL: I hate this sentence. Will come back to this one.)

せめてもの抵抗に腕で乱暴に目の上をこする。確認するまでもなく濡れていた。
He roughly rubbed his eyes on his arms instinctively, although at least reluctantly. Needless to say, his eyes were wet.
(TL: 腕 is arm, but it might make more sense to say sleeves. After all, he has giant sleeves. Also, もの denotes something done emotionally or naturally, so I used instinctively here. I think the first sentence is saying that he did it despite not wanting to; it's like you "have to" even if "you don't have to".)

子どものように泣いていたのだ。そのみっともなさに胸がつぶれる。
He was crying like a child. The pain in his chest caused him to collapse shamefully.
(TL: Definitely going to fix that last sentence.)

周囲では低いうめき声が次々と上がった。
Low groans could be heard, one after the other, around him.

〈シルバーソード〉のメンバーが次々と自動蘇生しているのだ。
Members of Silver Sword were automatically reviving one-by-one.

ここは〈奈落の参道〉(アビサルシャフト)の侵入口、ゾーンの開始地点だ。
They were at the entrance of the <Abyssal Shaft> raid zone.
(TL: For those unaware, Shiroe invited Silver Sword to help him clear this new Raid, which is by the Depths of Palm back in episode 3. If you couldn't figure it out by now, they all just died. Shiroe has a whole section in the first half of this chapter before reviving, I just skipped it.)

ウィリアムたち一行は全滅し、この地点まで引き戻されて蘇生した。
William's party was wiped out, and revived back here.

それは大規模戦闘につき物のお定まりの全滅であり、そして違うことでもあった。
Their death at the hands of a convention between Raid Bosses at a large-scale raid had been beyond their expectations.

レイドボスが三体も現れてウィリアムらを蹴散らしたのだ。
With three Raid Bosses, William and his group were easily kicked around.

それはふたつの事実を〈シルバーソード〉に指し示した。
It pointed out two facts to Silver Sword.

ひとつ目のそれは、この戦いには絶対勝てないという指摘だ。
First, it was evident that success was not absolute.
(TL: Mmm, liberal translations. The more literal form is "The first thing they saw, was that this fight pointed out to them that it would not be an absolute win," or something like that.)

そもそもレイドとは、勝てるか勝てないかのギリギリのバランスの上に構築されているのだ。
To begin with, the success or failure of a raid depended on a last-minute balance.

装備を整え訓練を重ねたギルドが、薄氷を踏む戦闘の末に勝利する。それがレイドだ。
The guild would train repeatedly and repair equipment, stepping on thin ice in battle in order to win. That is a raid.

だからその大規模ボス戦闘が、三っつも連鎖して起こるのならば、勝てる可能性は誇張ではなくゼロとなる。大規模戦闘に慣れていればいるほどそれは明確に理解されるのだ。
So for large-scale Boss battles, if there happened to be a chain of three Bosses, it would not be an exaggeration to say that the possibility of winning was zero. This point was clear to those experienced in large-scale raids.

この戦いに勝利できる可能性はない。
It was impossible to win this battle.

それはウィリアムの胸を真っ黒に塗りつぶす絶望だ。
Pitch-black despair daubed William's chest.
(TL: Junko Enoshima approves of this message.)

そしてふたつ目は、それにも輪をかけて――いや、比較にならないほどに悪い報せだった。
Second, they could see that it was a cycle -- no, it was bad news without comparison.

もしレイドボスがああして徒党を組む様になったのだとしたら、それがどこででも起きているのだとすれば、もはや、〈シルバーソード〉が勝つことのできるレイドはこの世界にひとつもないことになる。
They had believed that no matter where they went, wherever in this world they raided, Silver Sword would turn out victorious.
(TL: This is completely filler text. I have no clue what's being said here.)
For Silver Sword that could beat anyone, it would be impossible to clear this raid if the Raid Bosses banded together like this.
(TL: Better?)

もちろん非常に低レベルの、たとえば五〇レベル程度が挑戦するレイドであれば、ボスが二体に増えたところで対処できるかもしれない。
If it was a low-level raid, such as around level 50, although that was still very challenging, it might be possible to deal with two Bosses.

しかしそれは、ウィリアムたちが考える「大規模戦闘」ではない。
However, William did not think it would happen in a "large-scale battle."

弱いエネミーを見つけ出していたぶるために徒党を組んでいるわけではないのだ。
He would never have expected Raid Bosses to leave their areas to gang up on and weaken enemies.

ウィリアムたちの望み同レベルの血がたぎるような大規模戦闘の挑戦であり、それはいま死に絶えた。
The party's desire to challenge large-scale battles that had once coursed through their blood, that had once been on par with William's, had all died out now.
(TL: Not sure how to word this. I'm actually not sure if it's referring to William or his party here.)

ウィリアムは吐き出す息が冷えきり、なんとも言えない脱力感が苛むのを感じた。
Every breath that William could spit out cooled off, and he felt a weakness that nobody knew tormented him.

そしてそれは彼の仲間たちにもいえる。低く潰れたような声がとどまることなく漏れているのだ。
He then spoke to his comrades. His crushed, low voice passed through his lips.
(TL: 彼の means that he is speaking about something that's unfamiliar to both him and the Silver Sword raid. And yeah, I'm coming back to this sentence.)

ウィリアムが理解した程度のことは〈シルバーソード〉の誰もがわかったはずだ。
Anyone in Silver Sword should have understood it the same way William did.

全滅するまでもなく、コロセウムの大門からレイドボスが増援として現れた時、その瞬間レイドメンバーは理解させられた。
It didn't matter that they were wiped out, they understood it the moment that Raid Bosses appeared at the front gate of the Colosseum as reinforcements.

この世界はウィリアムたちを拒否したのだ。
This world had rejected William.

ウィリアムは萎えきった身体を無理やり動かして上半身を起こした。
William moved his limp body by force, waking up his upper body.
(TL: Not sure how to translate that second part, so I kept it in its direct translation.)

そこで見たのは、いままさに潰えつつある〈シルバーソード〉だった。
Naturally, the members of Silver Sword, who were on the verge of collapsing, were watching.

戦友に情けない表情を見られたくないだなどという戯言を言える光景ではなかった。
It wasn't a scene where you could speak nonsense if you didn't want to see your allies with such miserable expressions.

ただの全滅ではこうはならない。心をへし折られて、立ち上がる気力もないメンバーが、伏せたまま、あるいは身を丸めてたまま、すべての活力を奪われて苦しんでいる。
In this case, it wasn't merely annihilation. Robbed of all their vitality with their hearts broken, a few members no longer had the willpower to stand and now lay on the ground in suffering.

肉体の苦痛は〈冒険者〉にとって致命ではない。世界から追放された烙印が魂を焼くのだ。
Physical pain did not mean death to <Adventurers>. It was a stigma branded upon their souls by this world.

すすり上げる音が聞こえた。大の大人が漏らすみっともない泣き声だ。
The sounds of sobbing rose. It was the shameful crying of grown adults.

ウィリアムはその理由を知っている。ウィリアムだって先程まで、それに触れていたのだ。
William knew the reason. Even he had felt it not long ago.

記憶を失うなんて些細な事だ。
Things such as losing memories were trivial.

安全マージンをとって動く〈Ｄ．Ｄ．Ｄ〉よりも、強い連帯で攻略を進める〈黒剣騎士団〉よりも、クソ平等主義の〈ホネスティ〉よりも、ウィリアムは断言できる。
William could assert that he was capable of making his move faster than D.D.D., being more unified than the Black Sword Knights, and having less shitty ideals than Honesty.
(TL: 100% winged that one. And William doesn't seem to like Honesty's policies.)

間違いなくこのサーバーで最も全滅したレイドギルドである〈シルバーソード〉だからこそ言えることがある。
That's why it was said that Silver Sword was the raid guild that had wiped the most in this server.

“死”と蘇生の間で自らの失策と不備を気付かされる瞬間、あの魂の冷えるような思い出の奔流が仲間たちレイダーの魂を削っていくのだ。そこそこに勝てればいい。
In the time between "death" and resurrection, you were reminded of your own mistakes and weaknesses; a torrent of memories cooled that cooled a soul whittled another Raider's. You should be able to win reasonably.
(TL: Yeah, I probably should get onto learning Japanese for real. Found somewhat better translator than GT, though. Not that I can make sense of this sentence either way.)

いくら失敗を重ねても、それらを訂正できて、成長できたのだと、新しい一歩を踏み出せる。しかし、償いきれない失敗や、振り払えない後悔は、どうやって打ち消せばいいのだ。
When you could correct them despite despite repeated failure, and grow up, you could move to the next step. However, you should deny the shortcomings you cannot compensate for and the regrets that continue to linger.
(TL: What just happened here. I think I might ask someone to help me on some of these.)

過去からの山彦のような声が胸に響く。
A voice like an echo of the past resounded within his heart.

（で、それってなんの役に立つの？）
(What is this useful for?)

（へー。ゲーム、ふーん）
(Eh. A game, huh?)

（今どきＰＣで？　ソシャゲでよくね？）
(Using PCs nowadays? For a social game?)

（休日に家にいるの？）
(You're at home on a holiday?)

くそくらえだ。ウィリアムは吐き捨てた。
I don't give a shit. William spat out.

（おまえカラオケとか誘われなさそうだもんな）
(I invited you to go to a karaoke.)

（それってＰＣに喋りかけるんでしょ？　わー）
(Chatting on the PC again? Ah-)

（もっと将来の役に立つ趣味にすれば？）
(Why don't you get hobby that'll be more useful in the future?)

（まあ、そういう人もいるよね。いいんじゃね？）
(Well, there are people like that, huh. Don't be reckless, okay?)

くそくらえだ。
I don't give a shit.

ウィリアムは乱暴に顔を拭った。
William wiped his face wildly.

勢いよく立ち上がろうと思い、情けないことに膝が笑った。
He intended to stand up with vigor, but his knees laughed at such a pitiable idea.

叫ぼうとしたが、仲間を励ますような言葉が自分の中に少しもないことにウィリアムは気がついた。
He wanted to shout, but he found that the words to encourage his friends were not there.

次は勝てると鼓舞でもするつもりなのか。そんなことはできない。
He intended to encourage them by saying they would win next time. There was no such thing.

それは嘘だ。では気を取り直して別のレイドへ行こうぜと誘う？
It was a lie. Then would he feel better if he took heart in that fact and moved on to a different Raid?

ここから逃げ帰って。無理だ。
That would be running away. It's an impossibility.

いつもの様にしかめっ面でにらみつけて「言わせておけばいい」と言い捨てられるか？
If he gave his normal scowl and said "That's the last straw," would it all be thrown away?

そんなことできるはずがない。仲間が無力感に突っ伏しているのに、そんな言葉では届かない。
There can't be such a thing. Even his friends were prostrated from helplessness, such words could not come to him.

ウィリアムは口を開けたまま、迷子のように視線を彷徨わた。
His mouth agape, William's eyes wandered about his line of slight like a lost child's.

ディンクロンを見た。東湖をみた。順三を見た。エルテンディスカを見た。仲間を順番に見つめた。
He saw Dincron. He saw Touko. He saw Junzo. He saw Eltendiska. He gazed at them in turn.

そしてやがて足元をしか見ることができなくなった。
Before long, he could only look at the steps.

自分のギルドが崩壊していく様を眼前にしながら、ウィリアムには掛ける言葉すらないのだ。
Even as his guild was collapsing before his eyes, William couldn't find any words to say to them.

あんなに叩きのめされ、そのたびに欠点と怠惰を思い知らされ、そぎ落としてきた心のなかには、差し出せるものがなにも残っていない。
Having been beaten so much, reminded of their own faults and laziness each time, holding out all these times, had chipped their hearts until nothing was left.
(TL: Bad translation.)

ウィリアムは必死に探した。
William looked around desperately.

戦友と分かち合える言葉を探した。
He looked for words to share with his comrades.
(TL: I'm using comrade so much. Makes it sound like I'm in the Soviet Union or something.)

しかし怯えて竦んだ心にはなにも見つからない。
However, there was nothing to be found in his heart, frozen with fear, and he drew back.

「これが終わりかよ」
"Is this the end?"

つぶやくような声が聞こえた。
He heard a voice mutter these words.

誰だかはわからないが仲間の一人が言ったのだろう。横たわる広間の一角から聞こえて、その言葉に全員が息を飲み込んだ。それはここにいる誰しもが怖くて考えないようにしてきた事だったからだ。
Although he didn't know who said it, one of his friends had. It was heard from the corner where he lay, and his friends gulped for words. They had been too frightened to think out of fear of the others.
(TL: Last sentence is hard for me to put into words.)

その言葉で、ウィリアムさえ逃げられない問いを目の当たりにさせられた。
With these words, even William could not evade the question before their very eyes.

――このままススキノに帰り、治安維持の善良ギルドになる。
――Return to Susukino, and become a guild that maintained public safety.

〈大地人〉は感謝するだろう。この世界は弱肉強食なのだ。
The Landers would be grateful. This world was one that followed the survival of the fittest.

特に〈エッゾ帝国〉はモンスターの襲来が厳しい。人々は自分の生活を守るのに必死だ。
In the Ezzo Empire, the invasion of monsters was particularly severe. People were desperate to ensure their own survival.

そんなススキノで、〈冒険者〉は礼儀正しくしてさえいれば人気者だ。〈大地人〉と交流して、彼女を作るのだっていいだろう。
In Susukino, an Adventurer's popularity depended on his or her politeness. You could interact with Landers, and it seemed that it would be good to even marry her.
(TL: Not sure about the last part. My translating machines say "make her".)

大規模戦闘にこだわらず、街周辺の防衛クエストをこなすだけならば〈シルバーソード〉は十分な戦闘能力を持っている。
Silver Sword had enough combat capability, if they ignored large-scale raids, to handle defense requests from around the city.

そのあまりのばかばかしさに、ウィリアムは臓物が焼けるような気持ちを味わう。
In the excessive ridiculousness, William felt as though it was like having his entrails burnt.
(TL: Woah there William.)

「そうかもしれない。そうなんだろうな。そのとおりだと思うよ。――でもそれがどうした。くそくらえだ」
"Maybe so. Seems like it. I think you're right. ――So what. Damn."

ウィリアムは悔しさに任せて後先も考えず反抗した。
Ignoring his own vexation, William thought of the consequences.

それはたしかに悪くない生き方なのだろう。
Surely, such a way of life wasn't bad.

この異世界でうまいことトラブルを避けて安全を贖う生き方だ。
It wouldn't cause much trouble and would keep them safe in this alternate world.

だがそれは、賢しらな顔でウィリアムに“アドバイス”をしてきた大人たちの言葉のそっくりそのままということでもある。
However, this meant that the words of those adults with impertinent faces who gave him "advice" would be true.
(TL: Yup, this one makes no sense.)

「負けちまったぜ。全滅だぜ。もうお終いかもな。無駄だったんだろう。連中がいつも言うように、俺 たちがバカで、愚にもつかない事をやり続けてきただけなんだろうよ。ひきこもりのゲームキチガイだ。廃人だぜ。――でも、それがどうした。そんなことは先刻ご承知なんだ。わかっててやってるんだ。でも、俺たちはゲームが好きなんだ。これを選んだんだ」
"I've lost. It was a complete loss. It's already the end. It would be useless. We were stupid and always did nonsensical things to get other people's approval. We were shut-in gamers. We were almost like cripples. But so what? We already knew that. I understood what I was doing. But we chose this. We like games."
(TL: Some of these phrases wouldn't translate no matter which translator I used. Time to start learning Japanese.)

終わってもいい。ウィリアムはそう思った。
It may be over, William thought to himself.

しかし、敗けても、終わっても、等閑に付せないことはある。
However, if he lost, or even if it was over, he couldn't disregard it.

決して放置できないことがある。
He couldn't just leave.

身体をメラメラと炙るような熱気に背中を突き飛ばされるように、ウィリアムは続けた。
His body throbbing as if he had been jabbed in the back with a vigorous flame, William continued.