the ultimate showdown

[Verse 1]
Old Bolas was hoppin' around
Ravnica city like a big playground
When suddenly Davriel burst from the shade
And hit Bolas with a demon grenade
Bolas got pissed and began to attack
But didn't expect to be blocked by Dack
Who proceeded to open up a can of Dack-fu
When Sorin Markov came out of the blue
And he started beating up Dackquille O'Steal
Then they both got flattened by the Demonmobile
But before it could make it back to the Demoncave
Venser the Sojourner popped out of his grave
And took an AK-47 out from under his hat
Blew Davriel away with a rat-a-tat-tat
But he ran out of bullets and he ran away
Because Karn came in to save the day

[Chorus]
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny

[Verse 2]
Bolas took a bite out of Karnimus Prime
Like Gideon Jura took a bite out crime
And then Dack came back covered in a tire track
But Jiang Yanggu jumped out and landed on his back
And Davriel was injured and trying to get steady
When Venser's corpse came back with a machete
But suddenly something caught his leg and he tripped
Angrath came and took him out with his whip
Then he saw Bolas sneaking up from behind
And he reached for his gun which he just couldn't find
'Cause Davriel stole it and he shot and he missed
And Jiang Yanggu deflected it with his fist
Then he jumped in the air and he did a somersault
While Venser's dead ass tried to pole vault
Onto Karn the golem but they collided in the air
Then they both got hit by Vraska's snake hair

[Chorus]
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown...

[Bridge]
Angels sang out... in immaculate chorus...
Down from the heavens... descended Urza Norris...
Who delivered a spell... which could shatter bones...
Into the crotch... of Angrath Jones...
Who fell over on the ground... writhing in pain...
As Davriel changed back... into a costume of Bruce Wayne...
But Urza saw through... his clever disguise...
And he crushed Davriel's head... in between his thighs...

[Verse 3]
Then Ugin the gray, and Ugin the white
And Shadows over Innistrad's Nahiri's insane blight,
And Sarkhan Vol, and Animatou,
And Saheeli Rai, and Ob Nixilis' asshole,
Tezzeret, The Wanderer, Teyo Verada, and Koth of the Hammer
Tamiyo, Kasmina, every single Gatewatch member
Arlinn Kord, and that mad cunt Dovin
Domri, Deretti, Huatli, and that guy Rowan
All came out of nowhere lightning fast
And they kicked Urza in his wizard ass
It was the bloodiest battle that the world ever saw
With civilians looking on in total awe
The fight raged on for a century
Many lives were claimed but eventually
The champion stood, the rest saw their better
Jace Beleren in a blood-stained sweater

[Chorus]
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions as far as the eye can see
And only one will survive, I wonder who it will be
This is the ultimate showdown... (this is the ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown... (this is the ultimate showdown)
This is the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny