“Deoksun-ah!!! Wake up already! The plane is about to land and we have three elderly grandma’s who need help with wheelchairs!”

With a quiet snort, Deoksun opened her eyes, groggily confused as to where she was. She looked around to see she was on a plane, belted in and her co-worker was already gathering her things to make the landing announcement. She slowly gathered her wits enough to discreetly wipe the droop from the corner of her mouth and sat up straight, smoothing back her hair.

Why had she been dreaming of the fortune teller? It had been years since that visit, why now? She had taken the fortune teller’s advice and concentrated hard for the remaining five months before the next entrance exam. She and Dongryong had been study buddies for the past year and both were determined to get into university. They even talked unnie into giving them cram sessions two months before the exam. They walked around like zombies the week before the exam and Sunwoo and Junghwan had both called the night before to wish them good luck. The day of the exam was nothing but a blur of nerves, stress, last minute cramming, and ‘fighting’s amongst her family, Dong-ryong, and his family.

She smiled as she remembered how her mom had packed an extra-large lunch for her, how her little brother had actually gotten up early and set the table for her, and her dad gave her his fried egg at breakfast. The Kim’s had been up early too, to see them off and had made sure to give both Deoksun and Dongryong pocket money for snacks later. After several grueling hours, they had both left the exam exhausted, but she had felt confident about passing. And she was right.

Dongryong and she had passed, gotten into a smaller university and stayed close through graduation. Their senior year of university saw Dongryong finally settling down into his hyung’s restaurant business, taking on the challenge of opening a new branch, while venturing into the entertainment world as a local MC for small festivals and store openings. He had gained a small but loyal group of ajumma fans that liked to spoil him with packages of food and sweets. He always complained, but he really loved it. He tried out at the broadcast stations, failing year after year, but continued with the local MC jobs. He even hired JungBong oppa in one of his restaurants. All the while, the restaurants kept succeeding.

Deoksun had tried out to be a flight attendant her senior year, wanting to travel around the world. She hadn’t been completely sure going into it, but of all the jobs she had explored in college, she kept coming back the flight attendant academy. And if a small part of her mind whispered the name of a certain friend who was at the military academy, who would be stationed at the same airport if she happened to get transferred there, it had nothing to do with her career choice.

As she trained hard and made new friends, she realized a dream that she hadn’t known she wanted. She loved traveling around the world, practicing her English, and picking up souvenirs for her family that they displayed lovingly around the house. No-eul was bragging to his friends about his flight attendant noona and showing off the brand name clothing she’d pick up for him. She loved her job, so why was she dreaming of the fortune teller’s visit? Maybe just a few more minutes of sleep…

“Ya, Deoksun-ah, chingu, you know lots of single girls, right?” Dongryong nudged her as he looked slyly at her, “When are you setting up…”

Deoksun snapped awake and abruptly interrupted the ongoing question, “Never. I would never be forgiven for introducing you to them. The unnies are scary when they’re pissed and they would stick me with the worst schedules ever. So, no – I’ll never introduce you to my co-workers.” She stuffed a little more birthday cake in her mouth and debated about another beer. The guys sat around the table and picked at the demolished birthday cake, while drinking the latest bottle of alcohol Teuk won.

“Chingu-yaaaa” Dongryong whined, batting his eyes. Then he nudged Junghwan, silently telling him to beg, too. Junghwan cleared his throat uncomfortably and uncrossed his arms, “Deoksun-ah-ahhh…” stiffly shaking his shoulders.

Deoksun almost choked at the attempt at aegyo and laughed out loud, “Never!”

Dongryong whined a little more, but then went on to tease Junghwan and Teuk about dating so much. He points out to Junghwan that he still hadn’t given anyone his graduation ring. What was that? What was that look Junghwan just gave her?

Ring? Why did that send a shiver down her back?

Junghwan shrugged, “I don’t have a girlfriend to give it to.”

“Yah, the way you’re going, you’re going to die before ever being able to confess once.” Dongryong snickered and went back to begging Sunwoo for a pretty nurse’s phone number. Deoksun’s heart started to race at the mention of confessing, tears welled in her eyes, and she couldn’t figure out why her heart felt like it was about to break.

Junghwan and confession. Why did that make her so sad?

A memory flashed by, what was it?

Her pager buzzed, bringing her back to reality and she recognized the number of the new guy was seeing. She got up to return the call, but paused at the door for one more look at her friends, suddenly hit with the realization that they were all growing up. She grinned, knowing that the get togethers weren’t always going to last, but her favorite thing in the world was hanging out here. Things were changing so fast and they were already 23 years old. Sunwoo was looking tired from his long residency hours, Dongryong now wore suit jackets for his ‘image’, Teuk was even driving now, and Junghwan…she shook her head. Her parents were talking about moving once No-eul graduated. Everything was changing, except her. Why couldn’t she change too?

She dismissed her nostalgic feeling and raced to the phone. She was supposed to go to a concert this Sunday and had bought a new outfit while she was Paris. It even had a cute beret to match. She dialed the number and sweetly talked to her new boyfriend, keeping her fingers crossed . Maybe this time the guy wouldn’t be so boring. Maybe this time, the guy wouldn’t get so upset if she punched him in the arm. Maybe this time, the guy would like her when she was more herself than the sweet and cool image she projected. Maybe…

‘Please don’t ask, please don’t ask about concert’ Deoksun begged Junghwan silently as they listed to the Lee Moon-se tape in his jeep on their way to meet their friends. She kept bickering with him, just to distract him, and he argued right back, both hiding grins. It felt good, just like old times, she was only ever comfortable being herself when she was around Junghwan. And if she closed her eyes she could almost pretend…something hard clenched itself around Deoksun’s chest. Something felt off. She opened her eyes to look out at the night scenery, something was coming. She felt it. She’d seen this before, but where?

They sat around waiting for Teuk, Dongryong whined about another girl dumping him. Deoksun faked a smile while trying to hide her fear. Something bad was about to happen. Her chest felt too tight. She kept looking around the restaurant, trying to figure out what it was. Every time the door opened, she tensed, expecting something. Then she heard Dongryong ask for Junghwan’s graduation ring.

Everything blurred around her. Deoksun’s heart started pounding louder and louder.

“If you continued on the path that you’re currently on, doing nothing, then your husband would reveal himself to you. A comfortable life, full of material wealth and gentle warmth would surround you.”

Why was the fortune teller’s words ringing in her ears?

The pressure in Deoksun’s chest grew, her heart raced and she stared at Junghwan. ‘No, no, no….’

He pulled out his graduation ring and set it on the table. Dread froze Deoksun while faint memories flashed in her mind. She stared at the ring box. From a distance she heard him say that it would be kind of a waste to give it to Dongryong.

She knew that ring – knew the heartbreak attached to it. She’d been here before. She looked around the table –Dongryong sat to her right, Sunwoo across from him, sitting exactly like she dreamed. And just like her dream this was the moment that Junghwan would say,

“Deoksun-ah..” and put the ring in front of her.

She couldn’t breathe. Her heart skipped…one…two…

“If you continued on the path that you’re currently on, doing nothing, then your husband would reveal himself to you. A comfortable life, full of material wealth and gentle warmth would surround you.”

Memories of a dream flashed in her mind. A life of comfort. Contentment. An interview. A question.

“Do you want to go back? Do you have any regrets?”

A name floated in her mind, unspoken.

“…doing nothing, then your husband would reveal himself to you. A comfortable life, full of material wealth and gentle warmth.”

Teuk smiled at her as he waited at the altar. Her dad squeezed her hand, signaling the march down the aisle, and her gaze wandered over the crowd…locking onto her old friend. He was grinning, right? So why were his eyes so blank? One step forward and he blurred from her sight…

“…you could jump off the path. If you took a risk, there is no clear path, but there was a faint trail if you looked hard enough. It led to rougher ground, uneven and difficult at times …”

The pressure in her chest ached – she fought for breath, “I like you.”

The words echoed in her ears.

“…jump off the path … someone beside you, clearing the rough ground from your feet, sheltering you when the storms came and carrying you when it was too dangerous,”

“All I ever thought about was you.”

“It’s not comfortable, or gentle, but the colors surrounding you are so vivid, so bright and intense. And laughter, I kept hearing a lot of laughter.”

Dongryong’s laughter sounds hollow.

Junghwan’s voice goes on to name the times they ran into each other on the bus, or went to the concert together, or when she gave him the shirt for his birthday.

She knew this…she had heard it before. In her dream.

In her dream she let him make it a joke, let him think he fooled her. She even lied to herself that it was a joke. But she knew. In her heart she knew. Because it hurt so damn much. She remembered how she had swallowed her tears, not wanting him to see how much he hurt her. She had swallowed, and swallowed again, keeping her eyes wide open, determined to lock up her crushed heart and not let anyone know. That was it. That was when she closed off her heart.

And did nothing.

“…doing nothing…A comfortable life, full of material wealth and gentle warmth would surround you.”

Fragments of her dream flooded her memory, making her feel dizzy, she had married someone comfortable, someone who wouldn’t make her risk her heart or demand all of it. And Teuk was good to her – he loved her. She knew he did. And she loved him, too. It was a good life. In her dream, she had made his dream come true and made him happy. But had she been happy?

She remembered the feeling of pushing down her feelings, her temperament. Of biting her tongue and making sure he was taken care of. She remembered the feeling of loneliness when he would lose himself in his strategy games and she would have to wait to badger him to eat or sleep. She remembered having to hide herself while in public, putting on a polished sophistication so the reporters wouldn’t have anything to gossip about, of always looking over her shoulder in case someone saw her. She remembered the feeling of regret of having no children of her own, of feeling contentment, but she didn’t remember feeling happy…

“…do nothing…jump off the path”

“I’ve wanted to tell you this for a long time: I really like you. I love you.”

Her eyes met his. The way they stared at her: intense, blazing…before a blink shuttered them, leaving them blank. Something clicked in her memory. He always did that, hid his feelings. Always acting cool, untouched. Like when JungBong was sick and he didn’t want his parents to worry about him, he always acted as if everything was fine. But she knew better. Had always known better. Wasn’t that why she always picked a fight with him? To distract him? To get him to react and come back to her? Why had she let herself forget that about him?

“…jump off the path…”

Silence fell after his last words and echoed in her mind. Memories of a vague dream fell away and Junghwan’s face came into focus, their past came into focus. He stared at her and she returned it, remembering everything. They had been born weeks apart, raised together. They cried together, laughed together, played together, even long after SunWoo and Dongryong went home – they were together. She knew when he was mad he’d cross his arms and sigh, she knew when he was hungry he itched his stomach, she knew that he snuck into his brother’s room just so he could check to see if he was breathing, she knew he never told his parents anything so they didn’t have to worry…she knew how he lied.

Then he blinked, turned his head toward Don-ryong, “Is that good, moron? You said this was your wish.”

Everything slowed down and yet, everything fell away. She heard Sunwoo and Dongryong laugh with relief and discomfort.

This was the moment.

Her choice.

Did she let him get away with making it a joke like she did in her dream and take a comfortable life or did she risk it all?

“Yah.” Her eyes focused on man in front of her, forgetting about her friends, forgetting about the restaurant’s crowd.

“You think you can say all that to me and then make a joke of it? Like you don’t mean it? Like it doesn’t matter how I feel? Do you really dare?” She saw him turn back to her, his eyes carefully guarded, but something was there.

A choking sound came from her right, but Deoksun ignored it and kept her focus on Junghwan . His eyes were still shuttered, but he was absolutely still, not reacting. Suddenly angry that he took so long to confess, that he was about to make it a joke and dismiss her, and that she would have let him, had let him before, made Deoksun stand up. Her voice cracked with suppressed tears, “I’ve waited all this time for you to say something, to give me some kind of sign that you loved me back.”

She saw him swallow, about to say something else, but she cut him off, “I know. It’s my fault too. I was too immature to say what I really felt, what I really wanted. Back then, I liked you so much, I couldn’t even concentrate at school. You think everything was a coincidence? I’d get up hours early just to run into you on the bus and then sleep through the morning classes. I bought a pink shirt just for you when I hadn’t even bought my dad a shirt. I faked a sprained ankle just to hold your hand.  I froze my legs off wearing skirts, hoping you’d say something, that you liked me too. But you never did. And when you gave that shirt to JungBong oppa, or at least I thought you did…I tried not to love you. I tried to tell myself that it was a silly crush; that the feelings would go away. But they didn’t.”

Angry tears filled her eyes, angry that he took so long to tell her his feelings and angry that she was so blind that she didn’t see what was in front of her the whole time. “I even failed the entrance exam because all I did was think about how to get you to say something.” Deoksun cut herself off, “Ok, maybe I failed because I didn’t study enough in classes.” Embarrassment stained her cheeks a bit, “But that’s not the point.”

She paused to scoff at herself, “The point is, I have lived on hope for the last five years that you would notice me, gone on dates with guys I didn’t even like on the 1% chance that you might get jealous and stop me, I’ve begged my sunbae and coworkers to switch schedules so that I can be here, on the days you have leave, just so I can see your ugly face. After all this time, you have finally said it.”

She sucked in a breath, pieces of their lives falling into place, “I’ve waited years, so no, you can’t just take it back. You can’t make it a joke, because I won’t let you. Because I finally remembered what I should have remembered all this time. I was confused for a while, got distracted with my job, so I forgot, didn’t see it. You’re going to pretend that you really didn’t mean the confession, that you don’t love me. But Jungpal, I know you. I forgot that for a bit, but now it's all coming back to me.”

His flinched, just a little, but he didn’t look away. Instead, he stared harder, daring her to continue and that was something else she remembered. That’s when she knew she had him. She wiped at her tears and gently smirked, “You always pretend everything is fine, that nothing bothers you so that no one will look too closely, so that no one questions it. You’ve fooled everyone. But I know better, you’re not unaffected – you’re hiding. You’re hiding because you feel too much, you love too much. You don’t want to burden anyone so you'll think of way to not hurt anyone, even if you hurt instead. You’ve done it since we were kids, when JungBong oppa was sick, when we were too poor to afford fancy snacks and other kids laughed at us, when SunWoo's appa died, when we entered school for the first time, when your grandma died. You hid your feelings so well everyone marveled over it, but I always knew. Why do you think I fought with you so much, picked at you so much? Huh?”

Silence responded, and she answered for him “I didn’t want you to keep hiding, not from me.”

She took a step towards him, ready to risk it all, and jumped “You mean it. You love me. Don't you dare take it back. And guess what, jerk? I love you, too. I always have. At first, it was because you were my friend. But later, in high school, it was because it was you. I love the way you laugh and your eyes crinkle, I love the way you dance so awkwardly because your arms and legs are too long, and the way you walk slowly so Dongryong doesn’t have to run along aside you,” a faint protest was quickly shut down with a swift kick, was that him?

“I love the way you hold your comics with one hand, the way you always fold your laundry so your mom doesn’t have to, the way you pick out the carrots in your curry because they’re your hyung’s favorite, the way you always give into your mom, and laugh at your dad’s corny jokes when he’s not looking. I love everything about you, even the things that drive me crazy.”

His eyes said it - he didn’t dare to hope, there was something holding him back – something, no, someone. Of course, that was it. He would never let anyone get hurt, just himself.

“He confessed. He was braver than the both of us. Teuk confessed the day Dongryong went to the ER for his hemorrhoids. He had to carry me home because I hurt my foot, and when we got home, he told me that like me. But I told him that I didn’t feel that way about him, that I only saw him as a friend. He tried again a few weeks ago, taking me out on a date. But my feelings haven’t changed. No matter how I tried, they haven't changed. Its you. I love, you.”

Relief, guilt, and there, the last of his defenses fell from his eyes, leaving...Doeksun softly gasped. The full force of his heart was right there, blazing deeply into her eyes. She smiled tremulously, dared to take one more step closer, “So, now that I know and you know, are you..” her courage faltered but she grabbed hold again, and glanced at the ring on the table, “will you put the ring on me or do I have to do it myself?”

Silence stretched between them. She tuned out Dongyrong's gasp, Sunwoo's giggle, the restaurant, everything. The only thing that mattered was Junghwan. She focused only on Kim Junghwan, just like she had for the past five years, and like all those years, she silently begged him with her eyes, 'Please'.

He broke off eye contact and reached across the table grabbing the little box. He held the ring box for a moment and stared at her, defenses back in his eyes.

'Please, please, please, Junghwan, don't joke this away...'

He shut the lid on the box and abruptly stood up. Her heart sank, cracking, and she shut her eyes, bracing herself for the joke, the sarcastic comment that would ignore everything she just said.

Large hands grabbed her face and squeezed until her eyes popped open, “Yah, special forces, if you put the ring on right now, it will fall off. Let's get a chain for it.”

Before the words could sink in, he grabbed her hand and moved towards the door. He threw out over his shoulder, “We'll meet you at the next bar” as the door slammed shut. A glimpse of a smirk and shock was all she was able to catch before she was running to keep up with her hand. A hand which was gripped tightly in his, so tightly she wasn't even sure if she had any blood left in it. But she wouldn't complain, not when his hand felt so warm, so strong and had just a bit of a tremor going through it.

She ran quietly, trying not to laugh at his determined face, his jaw clenched as his eyes frantically searched the market's stalls for an accessory store.

She finally dug her heels in after making the second round of the market and pulled on his arm with both hands.

“Yah, Jungpal, here. Let's get this” She pointed at a pretty hair ribbon.

“No. You need a chain. Something secure. Something that won't fall off.” He kept frantically searching the stalls. She giggled, and argued, “This will be fine for tonight. We can get a chain later. Hurry up and buy it. I want to wear my ring.”

That got his undivided attention. He stared at her, his eyes taking in nothing but her face, the smile on her lips, the eyes that revealed all the love he never dared to look for.

His hand moved on its own, cupping her cheek, disbelieving that she was actually there, standing in front of him, loving him and words choked his throat.

She wanted to cry at the way he was so hesitant to touch her, the way his hand trembled as he tenderly cupped her cheek and looked at her. Oh the way he looked at her...

She sniffled and grabbed his hand, biting down hard.

“Yah, you brat! How can you...”

She giggled, knowing he wasn't really mad, that it hadn't really hurt, that he just needed a minute to calm himself, “Hurry up and buy the ribbon! I'm tired of waiting.”

The smile slid from his face, but he swallowed what the was going to say to turn around and quickly purchase the ribbon. Instead of giving it to her, he took her hand and led her to his parked jeep, ignoring her attempts to talk. He lifted her into the driver's seat, facing away from the street and crowded restaurants, but facing him as he stood in front of her. Without a word, with intense focus, he took out the ring from its box, looped the ribbon through it and carefully tied it around her neck, securing it with a double knot. She saw his hand grip the steering wheel while the other gripped the back seat forming a cage, and he took a breath as if he was steeling himself. She gave into a moment's worry, but then he looked at her.

Eyes staring directly into hers, she saw everything, and felt tears well up in hers,

“Junghwan-ah...”

“No, I need to say it. You deserve to hear me say it clearly. I'm not good with words...” He trailed off, trying to come up with the words. Funny how he was so good with words when he was trying to lie. He would never forget the look on her face as he confessed everything tonight, forcing himself to tell her good bye. He had to keep looking away because her eyes had stared too closely, saw too much. How could he have forgotten how well she knew him? And since when did she become good at disguising her feelings – hiding her love for him as she waited? Or did he force her to hide it as he ran away.

He closed his eyes in grief as he thought about that. His laughing, bright, in your-face Deoksun hiding her feelings because he put someone else's feelings first. “Deoksun-ah. I love you. I can't think of any other words to tell you what I feel. I'm sorry that I hurt you, for making you wait. I'm sorry that I didn't have the guts to tell you years ago. But most of all, I'm sorry for even thinking about letting you believe I didn't mean one word I said before. I'll make up for it the rest of my life. You won't ever have to wonder how I feel about you because you'll know, feel it with every kiss, every hug, every argument. You'll know every time I let you nag me and when I nag you, or let you rest your head on my shoulder, and every time I scold you or let you scold me. I'm going to love you every day of our lives.”

He wiped the tears from her cheeks with a brush of his thumbs and wished for the hundredth time he could be more romantic like his hyung. He leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers and gently rubbed her nose with his, “I promise Deoksun-ah, I promise I won't ever let anyone else come first, not ever again. Only you.”

She sobbed once, grabbed his hands framing her face, and pressed her lips against his. A gentle kiss, a seal to a solemn vow, gave way to passionate kisses, breathless gasps.

“Ewwww, Um-maaaah!!!”

Deoksun's face broke into a wide smile as her 10 year old eldest son walked into the room, making a face, “What's wrong?”

“Don't talk about kissing stuff!”

The interviewer laughed, “Is he your eldest?”

Deokson grabbed her son and gave him a bear hug, “Yes, this is Joon. He was born 2 minutes before Minguk and five minutes before Dongwan.” She blew a raspberry against Joon's neck and smiled at his giggles, “What's wrong with kissing?”

“How do you handle all three boys? It must have been really hard on you while your husband was at base.”

Deoksun smiled, fond memories, lighting up her face, “When we found out we were pregnant, my mother and father-in-law moved next door.” She opened her arms as the other two boys raced towards her and scrambled up to either side of her as her father-in-law entered the room to collapse in a chair, her mother-in-law hustled into the kitchen, grabbing banana's for the boys.

“When we found out we were having triplets, my parents moved in across from us.” Deoksun cuddled her boys, who looked at her with adoration. She laughed a little to herself as she remembered how Junghwan had passed out as they looked at three little blobs on the ultrasound.

“I heard that you almost d...” The interviewer cut herself off at the quick fierce glare from Mi-ran and her eyes widened as Kim Sung-kyun cleared his throat in disapproval.

Miran snapped, “We don't talk about that. Not ever. Don't ever bring that up to my son.” She stroked Deoksun's hair, a flash of fear crossed her face before she calmed and walked away, so much like her youngest son. Deoksun remembered the same look on his face that day in the hospital.

She went into labor two weeks early and Appa Kim had to call Junghwan at work. He got two speeding tickets as he raced to get to her at the hospital. His face had an odd pale look as she started to scream with pain but he calmly walked her through her breathing exercises. That calm timber in his voice soothed Deoksun like nothing could and she held back her curses, most of them, anyway. When he and the families were removed for the delivery, she heard him as he paced up and down the hall, ignoring the families.

She couldn’t remember what happened next, but when she woke up, she saw her families and Dongryong gathered around her bed and her hand was held in a vise-like grip. Junghwan lay on a cot beside her, passed out with an IV drip in his other arm. She grinned and tried to sit up, ready to make a joke about new fathers, but she gasped with pain, everything hurt. Her mom rushed to help her settle back down. She saw the worry in her mom’s eyes and thought the worst, “What’s wrong? Is it the babies? Are they alright?”

Panic filled her, why hadn’t the babies come in yet? Where were they?

“Deoksun-ah, the babies are fine. You've got three healthy strong boys. It’s you we’ve been worried about,” her mom responded, gently stroking her hair, holding her hand.

“What? What about me?”

Deoksun’s mom burst into tears and her dad had to drag her away, looking like he was about to cry too. She looked around the room. Sunwoo was holding her unnie who wiped at her eyes as she comforted a crying No-eul. Umma Ra and Appa Kim and JungBong looked grimly cheerful. Teuk’s eyes were red and Dongyrong…looked like his hemorrhoids were back again. Dongyrong cleared his throat and quietly suggested everyone get some air and visit the babies.

The families cleared out, each stopping to touch Deoksun before they left. She turned to Dongyrong and he cleared his throat a couple of times before he explained. “Deoksun-ah, do you know what day it is?”

“It’s Tuesday, the babies came 2 weeks early.”

“Today is Saturday. You started bleeding as the last baby was delivered. They couldn’t get it to stop.” Dongryong stopped to choke back a sob. “They gave you a blood transfusion, but you crashed...they said you had a mild heart attack. We’ve been waiting for you to wake up since Tuesday.”

“Five days?” No wonder she felt so weak and sore. She looked over at her sleeping husband and asked, “What happened to him?”

Dongryong pulled off his glasses and wiped them, pausing to blink rapidly before putting them back on, “He lost it. When the alarm went off and the nurses came running, we knew it was bad. Junghwan tried to get in the room to see you, screaming for you - it took all of us to hold him back. Never knew the bastard was so strong.”

He paused, looked away across the room, “The doctor came out to tell us…they said they got you stable, but...” A small sob slipped out, “th-they weren’t sure you were going to make it. Junghwan punched the doctor and ran to you – he grabbed your hand and wouldn’t let go. Not even when the security team tried to remove him. They finally gave up after JungBong hyung got him to promise that he would settle down. He spent the last five days by your side. He only left to shower and change once, two days ago and that was down the hall. He’s barely slept and refused to eat this whole time. His mom finally talked the doctor into knocking him out so that he could sleep.”

Deoksun clung to her husband’s fingers and tried not to cry.

“Bastard kept saying everything was fine, that you’d wake up any minute and that you were just joking.” Dongryong shook his head, “I don’t know which was worse, batshit crazy Junghwan, or calm Junghwan.”

“Your mom and dad are going to want to fuss over you, noona Bora is going to yell at you for worrying them all, and the Mrs. Ra is going to insist that you eat everything that she made Mr. Kim buy. Sunwoo’s mom and Taek’s dad are babysitting your nieces, but Sunwoo will give them a call. My mom and dad are looking after the stores. JungBong hyung is running to the convenience store to pick up some ramyun for Junghwan when he wakes up. I’m going to the restroom and pretend that I’m not crying with relief that you woke up today and then I’m going to hit on one the nurses that’s been taking care of you.” He blew his nose loudly and cleared his throat as he walked out, pausing to squeeze her shoulder and ask if he looked pitiful enough for the nurse.

Deoksun giggled softly and watched him leave. She turned back to her husband and traced his face with her eyes. To think that she might not have gotten to see his face, his eyes anymore…her eyes filled with tears at the thought. She lay there quietly for a while, just soaking in his face. She then squeezed his hand gently and pried open his fingers so that she could take care of her full bladder.

“DEOKSUN!!!!!!!”

She lurched out of the bathroom door at his scream and saw a terrified Junghwan tearing at the IV drip in his arm, she heard running feet coming down the hall.

“Junghwan-ah.”

He turned toward her voice and the stark fear in his eyes made her want to cry again, but she sniffed the tears back, knowing what he needed, “Yah, can’t I have a little privacy and go to the bathroom?” She saw him swallow and a look of calm settle on his face, before he worked up a disgruntled look for her.

She shuffled towards him, dragging her IV drip and he reached for her, grabbing her arms in a fiercely gentle grip to give her a soft shake, “You crazy brat, you should have woken me. I would have helped you.”

“You needed the sleep” She smiled, letting him see all the love in her eyes and felt humbled by the depth of his.

Two nurses burst in the room followed by their families. She calmed down the nurses as they reinserted Junghwan’s IV and asked to see the babies, while comforting her mom and dad. The families spent the night fussing over the babies and the new parents, shared birthing stories, first diaper changing stories, and ate the snacks that JungBong brought. And they all pretended not to see Junghwan pretending not to hover by her side, constantly reassuring himself that she was there by holding her hand tightly in his.

They still couldn't talk about those days when she was barely clinging to life because Junghwan couldn't bear it. Hated to remember. But she’d never forget that look of terror.

Deoksun smiled apologetically to interviewer, “That was a dark time for everyone, please don't ask about it.”

“Ah. I'm sorry. Getting back to the topic, how did Junghwan propose?”

Deoksun couldn’t help but giggle, “He didn’t. I did! I think we were fighting about…

“It means another year of training and most likely in the US” Junghwan casually stated before taking another bite of fried chicken, not noticing everyone stopping to stare at him and then Deoksun. They s gathered their plates away from him and Deoksun, careful not to make a sound. They waited anxiously, expecting a blow up.

“What? What did you say?” Deoksun put down her piece of chicken.

“I said the promotion will take another year of training.”

“In the US.”

“Uh huh, in the US.” He kept eating, looking casual, but as Deoksun’s anger rose, she saw his eyes watching her. He knew how she’d react.

“And you’re just going to take it, not even discuss it with me?”

“I’m telling you about it now.” He kept eating.

“Yah! How can you keep eating when you know I’m upset!”

He finally looked up at her, fully serious, “I’ll turn it down if you want me to.”

“Don’t say something stupid! I know how hard you worked for that promotion, but you didn’t tell me that it meant you being away on the other side of the world for year.”

“Maybe longer.”

She fumed.

“I wasn’t sure if the promotion would go through – that’s why I didn’t say anything. But now that it has…I’ll be back every month, I get a 5 day leave every month. I’ll be around.”

“But I might not. I told you last month my sunbae was pregnant and was leaving her job. I’m next in line for promotion so I’ll be covering the European flights. You should have told me – I would have prepared more.”

Their time together was always so short. Between sharing him with his family, friends they barely had time for a few stolen kisses, a quick date here and there. Deoksun’s irritation grew. Was she the only one missing him so much it hurt when they were apart? Was she the only one counting down the days until they could see each other? She got up from the table and stomped out the door. She wandered to edge of the alley and stood there, waiting.

It had been two months since she last saw him – over a year of dating and she’d seen him a total of 8 times between his schedule and hers. Phone calls every few days didn’t seem like enough anymore.

“Deoksun-ah…”

She felt his arms wrap around her from behind, his smell embraced her, and she gripped his arms, “I miss you. I hate being apart. I hate not seeing you every day. But at least it’s comforting to know we’re in the same country. When you’re in the US, you’ll really be gone. And I’ll miss you more. And it hurts so much to miss you.”

Lips kissed her temple and arms tightened around her, “That’s why I’m working so hard to get this promotion. I want to be stationed permanently, so that we can get married.”

She looked at the graduation ring on her finger, resized to fit her. “When do you have to go?”

“They’ll give me a 10 day leave before I head out two months from now.”

Another year stretched out in front of her and she just couldn't bear it, “Let’s not wait. Let’s get married before you leave.”

Arms strangled her before she was whipped around and gripped in hard hands, “What did you say?”

“I said let’s get married before you go. I know you and my parents want to give me a nice wedding with the fancy dress and suits, but I don’t need all that. I just need you. Let’s go the registry’s office and do it. Tomorrow.”

She was kissed breathless and she knew there’d be bruises on her arms, but she didn’t care. The kiss said everything he couldn’t. That he didn’t want to be apart either, that he missed her too.

It was a mad scramble to tell their parents, to call their friends, but the next day, at 3:00pm she became Mrs. Kim Junghwan. Nothing fancy, just her in a brand new white dress bought that morning at the mall, him in a gray suit bought at the same mall. Their rings were nothing fancy, but the promises they held meant everything.

Both their moms cried and hugged each other while her dad was pretending he wasn’t crying and his dad tried not to laugh at him. Family and friends gathered at the Kim household bringing mounds of food to share. Unni and Sunwoo arrived late because their work, No-eul serenaded them as they ate, and then someone brought out the karaoke machine….

Deoksun laughed with her mother-in law, “I still remember the police showing up!!! The neighbors from two blocks away called them because they kept hearing screaming coming from our house!” Miran laughed as she sat on the sofa next to Deoksun, snuggling a sleepy Minguk.

“Where did you guys honeymoon?”

“Right there, at the Kim house. We wanted to spend as much time together as possible but I knew he wanted to spend time with his family too.”

Miran smiled fondly at her daughter in law, “But of course you made him make it up to you later, right?”

“Of course!”

But nothing compared to the first honeymoon. They had spent 10 glorious days giddy, in love, and full of family. When Junghwan flew to the US, Deoksun begged a favor and flew as the flight attendant on his flight. She fussed over him the entire way and he allowed it with loving exasperation, knowing she needed it, that he needed it.

She flew back alone, collapsed onto his side of bed, and cried her eyes out. He knew that she would, so he left her a surprise . Under his pillow, he had his mom put his childhood journals there for her. She spent the rest of the night reading them, laughing and crying in turns. In the morning, she found the journal he snuck into her overnight bag and cried all over again as she read six words written over and over again in the pages: I love you. I miss you.

The year and a month took forever, but the promotion was worth it. She got transferred to Sacheon, flying only domestic flights to Jeju and they were able to buy their first home together. A few years later, they moved to a bigger house to prepare for the triplets and their families moved into the same building.

“So, what happened with the rest of the gang of friends?”

“Unni and SunWoo moved to Daegu so that Sunwoo could open a clinic for the elderly. And unni became an advocate for the elderly. Teuk is still a baduk champion – he married late, but they are doing well in Seoul. Dongryong and Jung Bong started their own restaurant and Jung Bong is now one of the most popular chefs in Seoul. His ramen is the best, better than my husband's. My little brother retired from singing after a few years and became a producer. Little Jinju took over the clock shop and turned it into an online accessory store.”

“Well, I think that wraps up everything. Oh, one last question, do you want to go back to that time? Do you have any regrets?”

The feeling of deja vu startled Deoksun; she faintly remembered the question from an old dream.

She looked up as her door opened again and her best friend walked in, making the boys squeal and her heart skip a beat. He briefly bowed to the tv crew as he hugged the three boys, kissed his mom on the cheek, and her breath caught in her throat as he just looked at her, unguarded and open. All these years together and he still told her he loved her every day. Just like he promised.

It hadn't been the easiest. There were long stretches apart, missed calls, months of silence as his work responsibilities grew more secretive, loud arguments and tears. They almost lost each other when boys came early and she almost died. But throughout the years, no matter what, there was always laughter and fierce loving, too.

“...jump the path...” an old memory popped up, a reminder her of an old choice.

“No.” She smiled, loving the full life she had, “No regrets.”

The End