They Are Dead

Gamers are Dead

I know that your talent at writing
Is as small as a cuucko's backside
But hacks as you are, pay attention
And we'll take this matter in stride
It's clear from your previous exertions
The lights are not all on upstairs
But we're talking Devs and GameJournos
Even you can't be caught unawares
So prepare for a shill of a lifetime
Be prepared for sensational news
A PoliCorr era
Is tiptoeing nearer
[Shenzi:]
But how do we do it?
[Scar:]
Just listen to Anita
I know she's fallacious
But we'll be victorious
We'll do shady deals in the light
Let's just deviate all of it and say
Gamers are dead!
[Spoken]
[Banzai:] Yeah, Gamers are dead!
Yeah, Gamers are dead, heh.
...From what?
[Scar:] Sexism and racism.
[Banzai:] But what about-
[Scar:] Shush, fool-- they're all cis white males. And Virgins too.
[Shenzi:] Great idea! Who needs videogames?
[Shenzi (and then Banzai):]
No games! No games! la--la-la--la-laa-laa!
[Scar:] Idiots! There will be games!
[Banzai:] Hey, but without gamers...
[Scar:] Our friends will make games! ...With no fun, and
Catering to our ideology!
[Shenzi and Banzai:] Yaay! All right! No homosexuals is homophobic!
[All Hyenas:] No violence! No more princesses!
[Full song again]
[Hyenas: {In tight, crisp phrasing and diction}]
We won't get to the top by merit.
We'll whine to get all that we want.
[Scar:] Of course, to do so, we're expected
To kill that old identity
Man who oppose us are rapists
Women sockpuppets shall be
And any foolish minorities
Filthy race traitors, baby!
So prepare to defame this industry
(Oooh!)
Be prepared to slander its fans
(Oooh... La! La! La!)
Meticulous libel
(We'll have money!)
Tenacious smearing
(Lots of cash)
Perennial denial
(We repeat)
Of the issues they bring up
(Endless favours)
Be bribed undisputed
(Aaaaaaah...)
Corruption, and cronyism
(...aaaaaaah...)
Imposing our views on the world
(...aaaaaaah!)
And Gamers won't stop us because
(Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo)
They are dead!
[All:]
Yes, Gamers won't stop us because
They are dead!