Male Six: The Happening

>Be Rainbow Dash
>Be having awesome dreams about Pegasus shit all night… Like… different things.
>Okay, I’ll give you a peak… But that’s it. Creeper.
>…I see a mare… Not a Pegasus, but an Earth pony with a beautiful sandy mane and a blue coat.
>She winks at me and I blush.
>The mare lets me fold my legs around her and hold her close.
>I kiss her.
>”RAINBOW DASH!”
>At least, I was GONNA until a pink stallion rose to my level with like, fifty balloons around his waist, calling my name like a crazy pony.
>”Rainbow Dash! Hey Rainbow Dash!”
“W…Who are you? W-whaddya want?”
>”Rainbow! It’s me! Pinkie!”
>I look down at his big hanging ballsack and something just doesn’t seem true about his last statement.
“Oh, piss off, guy. Pinkie’s a mare.”
>”Huh? Oh! Right, maybe I should explain!”
>Fuck that, I’m going back to my awesome dreams. Anyways…
>”OKAY! Have you ever just thought you were going to wake up one day and have balls?”
>”…Rainbow Dash?”
“Totally….”
>”Yeah? Well GUESS WHAT! It HAPPENED! I was just taking a nap when I woke up and had this big piece of meat jabbing at my sheets! I started masturbating and blah blah blah!....”
>Whatever. Zzzzzz….
>”…And then I went and saw Twilight and SHE had a big package too! ISN’T THAT CRAZY?”
>…Twilight… Package?
“W..What were you saying about balls?”
>He doesn’t answer. He just floats there staring down with a big, white-toothed grin on his stupid face. The nerve of this guy!
“Well?”
>”Uh, Dashie? You might want to put that away before some poor filly sees it.”
>What’s he getting at now?
>Fine, it’s not like I’m gonna be sleeping anytime soon. I sit up on my cloud and let out a big, loud, manly yawn.
>Big and manly….
>Huh, I must really need some water.
>Aaanyways, I rise to my hooves and do my trademark IWTCIRD stretch that all the stallions always lose their milk over, and give my wings a good couple of wake-up flaps.
>I feel a throbbing warmth against my belly, weird, but kinda nice too.
>”Hehehehee! Wow, Dashie, ya might want to cover that in public!”
>Ugh, this guy’s still here?
“Listen, bozo!” I say in my manly voice,
“You’re really startin’ to get on my damn nerves! So you’d better back the FUCK OFF before I break every bone in your BODY!”
>Pink stallion’s not catching my drift. He’s just smiling and floating like the wannabe Pegasus he is.
>”Oooh! You make for a sexy dude, Dashie!”
>That tears it.
>Better put this mudpony back where he belongs: In the fucking MUD!
“C’mere, you bastard!”
>I wrap one of my muscled legs around his neck and take off with him in tow. Applejack’s got a nice big pigpen just waiting for him.
>I never understood why Applejack takes care of pigs… I mean, it’s not like they pay her for it. A waste of space if you ask me, or at least it was before this morning!
>”ECK! R-RAINBOW! I-ACK! JUST LOOK AT YOUR CROTCH!
“FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING WEIRDO!”
>”D-DASHIE PLEASE! YA GOTTA LOOK DOWN!”
“Oh, I AM LOOKING DOWN! How else would I know when we’ve reached the-“
>I grab his balloon strings in my teeth and rip them to shreds.
“-MUD PIT!”
>The pink loser stallion falls kicking and screaming into the pigpen. A dramatic splash of brown sludge flies up, but I move nimbly enough to dodge it without a problem.
>I throw my head back and laugh, still sounding deeper and louder than I ever remember.
>”Rainbow Dash! HELP ME!”
>The pink stallions wallows around in the muck like a good mudpony, getting completely covered from head to hoof like he deserves. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!
“YES! I kick SO MUCH ASS!”
>Then another voice shouts from the farmhouse, familiar, but too strange to really put a hoof on it.
>”RAINBOW? IS THAT YOU?”
“Huh? Who’s asking?”
>”I AM! OVER HERE!”
>I turn in the air to see an orange stallion rushing over from the Apple Family corn crops.
>Hmm, I don’t remember meeting any orange stallions that looked like him, though.
>”Now what did ya just throw’n my pigpen?”
>Or sounded like him… He must be some relative of AJ’s.
“Oh, just some annoying-ass stallion that was giving me a hard time, no biggie.”
>I fly down to eye level with him, holding out a friendly hoof.
“And yes, that’s right! I’m THE Rainbow Dash. Are you one of Applejack’s cousins or something? I can’t say I’ve ever-“
>He says nothing, just puts a hoof on my forehead and pushes it downward, bringing my eyes upside-down and face-to-face with the business end of a big, hard, cock.
>And it’s attached to my body.
>Fuck.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
>I tear through the sky with awesome speed, performing daring dives and bad-ass barrel rolls, but the cock remains firmly attached between my hind legs.
“GET IT OFF! G-G-GET IF OFF MEE!”
>The orange stallion below calls up at me.
>”RAINBOW DASH! CUT THAT OUT’N GET BACK DOWN HERE! SOMETHIN’ STRANGE IS GOIN’ ON!”
>Oh gee, you think? Stupid bastard.
>I fly back down and try to calm my heavy breathing… From all the flying and stuff, I mean, it’s not like I’m worried that there’s somepony’s dick where my SNATCH SHOULD BE.
“Oh, is this STRANGE? I’m SOOO fucking glad I have YOU around to fill me in on that!”
>I look over and notice that the pink stallion has finally gotten out of the mudpit and is trotting over to join us.
>I put my hooves up to knock this joker out if he tries any more funny business.
“Hey you! Back off, asshole! Unless you want another trip to the muck!”
>He walks straight in between the orange guy and me and shakes ALL the mud ALL over both of us! This fucker’s cruisin’ for a-
>Three balloons.
>That’s like….
“P-Pinkie? Is that you?”
>He grins and nods vigorously.
>”Yep! And guess what?”
>…
“…What, Pinkie?”
>”Twilight’s packin’ salami TOO! I went and saw her when I got off work at Sugarcube Corner and she’s just as puzzled as I AM!”
>Great, so the egghead with all the answers has a dick now, too. That’s just fantastic….
>Wait, if Pinkie’s got a cock, and Twilight’s got one, and I’VE got one…
>I squint at the orange stallion behind Pinkie.
“…Applejack?”
>He sighs and rolls his eyes at me like a douche.
>”That’s right, sugarcube. If that weren’t obvious enough already.”
“Oh, sorry there, Appleprick. I didn’t recognize you with the whole STALLION look going on.”
>”Yeah well Ah’ve still got the same three apples on muh butt if ya haven’t noticed. And AH recognized you right away!”
“Yeah? Well, I bet that’s because you FANTASIZE about me being a dude! So – like, when it happens, you just thought it was a dream come true!”
>Sick burn.
>Applejack is stunned by my slick comeback and just scoffs because he can’t come up with one of his own.
>”What? Oh brother, Rainbow Dash, Ah wouldn’t touch yer snake for all the apples in Appleoosa! All that extra meat makes you is a prick with two heads!”
>Pinkie puts two hooves on his face.
>”Oooooh, are you just gonna take that, Rainbow Dash?”
>Having dicks really makes these ponies ASSHOLES!
“Nu-uh! I’m about to lay the SMACK-DOWN on this hick if he doesn’t shut his mouth!”
>”Oh yeah, SUGARCUBE? Well Ah’m ‘bout to grind ya into dust like you was GRAIN!”
“YOU WANNA SHIT WITH ME? WE CAN FUCKING DO THIS IF-“
>”SHOW YER FLAPPY PUNK ASS HOW WE DO THINGS ON THA-“
“I’LL FUCKING SHOVE MY HOOF SO FAR UP YOUR APPLEHOLE THAT Y-“
>”KICK YER ASS FROM HERE ALL THE WAY BACK TA FLIGHT CA-“
“-SHOOT YOUR FUCKING FARM WITH LIGHTNING AND-“
>”SNITCHES GET FUCKING STITCHES, NIGGAS!”
>…..Ugh.
“Fuck sakes, Pinkie.”
>”What? I wanted to play!”
>Applejack scratches his head.
>”Pinkie, what’s a ‘niggas’?”
>Pinkie shrugs.
>”I dunno, Anon calls me that sometimes.”
>Just then, the sound of somepony hyperventilating makes us all turn around in time to see Spike’s big round head coming up over a nearby hill.
>”GUYS! I-I mean, wait, YEAH GUYS OVER HERE!”
>He runs up to us, drenched in sweat, and puts his hands on his knees for a breather. Little guy must have smoker lungs with all the letter-sending or something.
>”Come with… Come with me, Twilight’s [GASP] got to talk… To you.”
>Well… Hopefully brainiac’s got an answer for all this shit.
“Got it, Spike! I’ll race you there!”
>”…Screw you, Rainbow Dash.”

FIN FOR NOW