Trials and Tribulations in RGRE

>you are anon, back from the front lines of the glorious patriotic war
>you have been summoned back to ponyville by the purple menace because you never paid the taxes on the home you left behind
>beside you is your strong beautiful Noyabrina, the mare that fought beside you and bore you a wonderful baby
>'Da, Мой муж I doubt ponytown will still be as bad as last time.'
>You're about to retort when a minty colored mare rushes up to you
>'Hiya anon! You've been gone so long, I really missed your smell and your fingers a-and'
>The minty colored mare slowly backs away as both you and your Nonna give the frosty death glare that only two Stalliongrad veterans could give
>'Uhh... Ithinkbonbonleftthefaucetongottagobye!'
>You turn back to your wife and sigh as you pull your vodka flask to your lips.
>Nonna just raises her eyebrows, then turns her head towards the morning sun
"It's gonna be a long day, and I don't want to go through it sober"
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>You are Honorary Comrade Anon and you still aren't drunk enough to deal with purple menace
>After arriving in Ponyville, the Purple Pestilent Pastel Princess came rushing towards you and your wife and proceeded to drag you by magic to her friendship castle to deal with your little tax problem
>You had brought your bag of bits to simply pay off the tax, but the little sperg had to spend hours lecturing you about the necessity of the tax codes you broke by not paying soon enough
>You were prepared for a lecture, and decided to arrive far more earlier then Twilight had you scheduled for so you could drop off the bits and leave before she knew you were there
>Sadly, a minty little cunt had to go and tell the Princess you arrived
>So here you are listening about how the preservation of abandoned property tax was first written after Celestia abandoned the first castle of the Royal Pony sisters
>Said lecture was accompanied with condescending childish crayon drawings
>After the fifth hour of this lecture you decide you've had enough, dropping the bag of bits on the table and getting up to leave
"Look twiggles, I honestly don't need to hear this history lesson, I could go to a proper library and find the tax books if I wanted to know this. So how about you let me pay this stupid tax and get back home. You made me leave my adopted country and come halfway around the world, in the middle of a war to pay this tax so just drop the facade and either let us go back home or tell us why you made us come here."
>Twilight sighs and stops channeling her magic, dropping the books she's been showing you while also uncloaking the circle of Royal Guards and the Princesses themselves.
>You place your hand on Nonna's back as you drain the rest of your vodka
"Told you it was gonna be a long day love."
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>You are slightly vodka fueled anon and you are fixing to have a less than pleasant day thanks to some very angry looking Princesses
>Princess Luna coldly glares at you as Celestia attempts to stretch her neck to appear towering and intimidating despite you having a full 2 feet of height on her
>'General Anon, the Marshal of the Red State, Supreme Guard and Hero of the Battle of Stalliongrad, Butcher and Scourge of Germaney and her ponies, you are hereby under arrest for crimes against Equinity and Harmony.'
>Nonna, bless her heart instantly moves to defend you while making angry horse noises at Celestia
>You barely get your hand around her withers to stop this from escalating as you put on your most disarming toothless smile
"Considering the effort you put into this trap and the time it took to set it up, I assume Germaney came begging for your help?"
>Luna tries to give you an even harder glare while stomping forward, a growl lightly reverberating in her throat
>'Verily monster, Germaney hath cried and pleaded and begged us to stop your violent madness, and your atrocious war of aggression against her ponies! At first, words of your barbaric behavior seemed like lies to our ears, a colt, power hungry and warmongering slaughtering the peaceful ponies of Germaney, putting their strong mares to the sword! Surely, such a colt could not possibly exist!
>Celestia gently cuts off her sister's ranting with a raised wing while stepping forward with a saddened look
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>'It is true that we could not believe such a colt could exist, and perhaps such a colt will truly not exist, after all did not anon repeatedly tell us himself that he was not a colt? Did we listen when he tried to explain the differences between his world, instead of dismissing them as colt power fantasies? No, we did not, but still I'm afraid that does not change the fact that you have become a danger to this world and the ponies that live here. Please Anon, we are going to hold you accountable for your actions, but we will also give you a fair trial and representation. If you willingly submit to this we can make this process much easier.'
>Your nonna is utterly red and shaking with anger at the accusation that you were the aggressor, but you kneel down to hold her, pet and scratch her ears while whispering reassuring words
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"Lyubov moya, our spies warned us this would happen, but we had to do this. Please, go home and prepare things like we planned. Keep our daughter safe. I've beaten everything Germaney has thrown at us and won, do you honestly think I would lose this battle?"
>You slowly stand up, holding your arms out, waiting for the manacles to be slapped on while your wife goes couchant.
>'I have stood beside my husband through bloody battles that would churn your weak stomachs, faced horrors you have no idea about, seen what the so called 'peaceful ponies of Germaney' are truly like and I will be dammed to Tartarus if I would allow my solnyshko to be separated from me now, by you weak summer foals. We are sworn until death, and nothing you can do or say will make me leave his side.'
>You feel your heart burst with love for your mare as pleased yet worried thoughts burst through your head
>A smile showing the tips of your incisors makes its way across your face as you face the princesses
 "Well there you go Celestia, you're just gonna have to take both of us in."
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>You are a tired, foot sore anon and you're quite tired of this gentle interrogation by the princesses
>Nothing really blatant, just asking what your experiences as a General were like, why did so many Germaney soldiers have to die, how did you manage failing to invade Poneland then turn the tide back on the Germaney defenders when they started advancing to stop the aggression of the horrible Union.
>Ok maybe not so subtle interrogation, and boy did you feel a hot flash of anger at that last question
>But at least now you have confirmed what your spies said the Germaney chancellor has been telling Celestia
>Looks like you'll be facing a kangaroo court when you get to Canterlot
>Meanwhile Nonna