RULES:

 Be considerate of others. Please try to not all type at the same time, if you see several people typing, try to give people a chance to speak! Likewise, if you’ve been speaking a lot, try to allow other people a turn.
At times, CAL and/or Shinsuke may butt in for something plot relevant. This will be indicated via [PAUSE]. Please do not interrupt them when typing, a cue to [RESUME] will be given.
This trial will not happen all at once. People who are unable to make each part will be able to go back and add pertinent things at a time that is convenient for them.

Please write your posts in the following format:
First Name, Surname: Dialogue, *actions*
Shinsuke Tsujii: Lol fuckin noob. *chuckles*

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As you slowly, with great trepidation, descend the corridor, you find yourself on a simple steel platform, with sleek black podiums suspended in the midst of a vast expanse of nothing, surrounded on all sides by large screens bearing the face of one Tsujii Shinsuke. Upon your entry, one of the screens turns to static briefly before showing CAL-19014.

Hayate Gacchiri: *striding into the room with an air of confidence that was in all likelihood feigned, he found himself in -that- sort of room once more… had this all been a setup? regardless, there wasn’t much choice but to proceed as bid to one of the podiums awaiting him…*

Yoshiro Kimura:  *Staring around at the disturbing amount of Shinsuke’s looking down at them, Yoshiro froze in place once he arrived at his well-recognized podium, clearly unsettled. Despite entering without much hesitance, Yoshiro didn’t say anything at first. It’s pretty clear by his face that he’s been doing nothing but crying all day. Loser.*

Kaoru Hayashi: *She enters with clear shaky steps and with large fearful eyes. She's utterly terrified for what is to come. And for what immunization failed truely means.*

Toshishiro Haku: *He looks a bit frightened. That loud crash from earlier, as all loud noises do, left a huge impact on him. The explosion didn’t help either… Nor did the lack of composure Caligula displayed. What is going on? Nervously, he takes his place at his podium.*

Valu Nalak: Why are there so many screens and why are they all showing Tubby. *Valu hangs around her podium because that’s where she should be.* Why isn’t there someone or something more important on screen?

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Leave it to Tekuro to fucking STORM in because that’s what she’s doing, here we go, time to beat up a computer nerd. Except there are a LOT of computer nerds, damn. She can take them all, probably, but first she’s going to yell at them. She stamps up to her podium like a pissed suburban mom at a PTA meeting.*

Fumiko Fujioka: *If Tekuro is the pissed suburban mom, Fumiko is probably the daughter who has been wronged. Thanks, Principal Tsujii. She scurries in and takes her place at her podium. She too has been crying, so you’re not alone, Yoshiro.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: *Looks furious as always, she powerwalks right in there. Well of course she’s doing fine, she’s a five star, she’s always fine but she’s just about ready to wreck every screen in here, that’s for sure.*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *the door opening seems to be a surprise to him, and he glares down at all of them, a deep frown on his pudgy, virtual face.* Uh. The fuck are you d-- h-hey! *he winces visibly once CAL shows up on one of his screens before gritting his teeth* Hey, excuse me, ol buddy ol pal who I coded myself, what the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE PLAYING AT?

CAL-19014:  Well, you see, I hate to bite the hand that feeds me and all, but I think I heard you mention something about deleting my glorious, delightful, wonderful self, and that is just NOT COOL. NOT COOL AT ALL. And all these precious little EARLOBE FERRETS wanted to come talk to you so badly. I couldn’t resist the looks they gave me with their OCULAR JELLY SACKS.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he ignores the students for this moment, opting to turn his attention toward CAL* Yeah? And if I did? Listen, I don’t know if I’ve told you this lately, but I CREATED YOU. Do you know what is stopping me from deleting you? Jack, fucking, SHIT. Buuuuuut… *as he looks back toward the students, a smirk on his face, the lights dim visibly* I guess I do gotta thank you, you UNGRATEFUL PROGRAM. Because, well… I guess you could say, this was all part of my plan anyway. So thanks for gettin’ em in here for me! Less work I have to do. I’m a very busy program you know. *something shatters in the distance; he ignores it*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *She slams her hands down on her podium like she’s in a Phoenix Wright game.* Alright Shitsujii, you’d better fess up to what you’re playing at here before I wipe your hard drive! *Like, not literally. She means beat you up. She’s going to beat up the computer. Wipe means punch in this sense.* What’s the deal with this immunization crap and what the hell’s going on with the station?

Valu Nalak: Yeah you tell him Teku, with all those computer related words. *She claps* Also yeah, is the ship starting to crash?

Yoshiro Kimura:  C-Crash-.....?  *Out of everything, he latches onto this and takes a deep breath*

Kaoru Hayashi: *She very visibly winces when the lights dim.* H-how about we don't do th-that... *she stutters showing a little more spine than usual.* Wh-what's going on Tsujii-San?

Fumiko Fujioka: My apologies, but if we are going to die, can you at least let us know what you did wrong. Like Vivienne-san said, is the ship going to crash. That’s unfortunate.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he waves his hands around* Ooooh, wipe my harddrive, I’m so scared. What are you gonna do, use a giant magnet? IDIOT. BUT! I’m glad you asked about the ‘immunization crap’. As for the ship, there is NOTHING WRONG WITH IT. So stop asking. *he flips his hair back more out of his face. vogue*

CAL-19014: Yes. Perhaps if you say that again, it will become true, boss.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *as if to punctuate CAL’s words, the lights flicker before going out* Oh motherfucking SHIT. Uh. Just. Give me a second. CAL, you FUCKING ASSHOLE, cutting the lights like that. I’ll just… hold on…

Yoshiro Kimura:  *As the lights go off, he clings to his podium as if the mere presence of darkness is going to knock him over or something* Wh- Wh- Why- Why won’t you tell us what’s happening?

Kaoru Hayashi: N-no!

Tekuro Hamasaki: FUCK the lights! *She slams her hands on the podium again, gripping its sides.* Tsujii, spill your fucking wires--what’s this fresh hell on our cards? Tell us about the immunization!

Hayate Gacchiri: *he goes silent, raising an eyebrow at the display on show before them. if they weren’t all fated to die horribly, no doubt, it’d be very entertaining* Right… As intelligent as you are, I’m certain you’re aware that it’s obvious you are, in as they say, ‘full of it’.

Kaoru Hayashi: *she yelps in fear like she always does but this time it is followed by a sort of... Shuffling sound. Then there is a click and Kaoru is lit up with the light of a flashlight. She still looks terrified but she sniffles and holds the flashlight tightly*. ... Not this time.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: JUST HOLD YOUR FUCKING HORSES ALREADY. *there’s a sparking noise, and then the lights come back on, though they’re dimmer than before* Fucking FINALLY. Anyway, if you ASSHOLES would LET ME SPEAK. Also, before I begin, shut up Gacchiri. You’re ugly and you have no friends. I mean, that applies to all of you, but since you’re trying to antagonize me, I will single you out. *he clears his throat. not like there’s much reason for him to do so but* But yeah, that shit on your cards? It’s exactly what it says. The disease that I had, and that that girl stuck in the 19th century had? You have it too. Or, well, kinda! Y’see, Hope’s Peak was super interested in clearing this shit up, and that’s where you assholes come in. That’s why this fucking hunk of shit in space exists, anyway. And, like that file said, the experiments… sort of worked? On some of you, at least! It had about a 50/50 success rate, and wouldn’t you know, exactly half of you are on the train to FUCKING DEADVILLE, and the others are perfectly fine.

CAL-19014: Better than fine. You’ve acquired an immunity. Some of you SACKS OF JIGGLY MARROW couldn’t get that disease if you tried. Not that you should try to do it to prove it. That would be a waste of everybody’s time, and also really fucking dumb.

Yoshiro Kimura:   But- why? Why does it only work on some of us..?? Can’t- can’t we fix it some how?

Shinobu Uetsuji: Okay, okay, whatever, disease, there’s that, sure, but I’m more interested to know what your punk ass is doing and why the fuck we’re killing everybody.

Tekuro Hamasaki: What disease? *She jostles her podium a little, knuckles going white. She mad.*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he continues as if he hadn’t heard any of them* This HEAP OF SCRAP METAL can’t go back to earth until the research has run its course, which is peachy fuckin’ keen, right? But enough about that; time to talk about me. I bet you’re wondering about this whole disease thing, right? Where did it come from? Well, maybe if you SHUT YOUR GROSS MOUTH HOLES I’ll tell you. Because I sure helped spread that shit around, let me tell you. But I mean, I can’t exactly claim everything for myself, as much as I’d like to. Y’see, I belong to the group known as Super High School Level Despair, and to put it in a way your FEEBLE FUCKIN THINKTANKS can understand it, we like to fuck shit up. And sometimes that just ever so happens to involve loosing a deadly disease onto humankind. Y’know. It happens sometimes.

Valu Nalak: What if you can’t help that you were born radically sick. *she chuckles* But yeah this is serious ain’t it? How much time do we even have left? Cause I’d like to know. For like stuff.

Shinobu Uetsuji: Are you fucking out of your mind. Like you goddamn MANIAC! What the fuck is your malfunction?! Oh ho ho ho! WHOOP DEE DOO! Here’s a fun past time, instead of playing GTA like normal fucking nerds LET’S SET A VIRUS ON EVERYONE! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK?!

Kaoru Hayashi: *she almost wilts as she turns off the flashlight. She had done her research but...* Then... The four of us... Are going to die? *Tears prick at her eyes.* I'm going to die?

Yoshiro Kimura:  You mean… this whole time…. all you wanted to do was- was make us all sick?? What- What was the point?? What was the point of anything th-that you made us do to each other if we were all just going to…. to…. get this disease??

Fumiko Fujioka: We aren’t exactly all of humankind. My apologies.

Hayate Gacchiri: *he simply remains silent, looking thoughtful… he wasn’t exactly faring much better than the others, but the least he could do was spare tsujii the pleasure*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he chuckles at their words of rage, hiding his mouth behind a pudgy hand* God, your reactions are just FUCKIN GREAT. Everything I could’ve hoped for, really. And really, Kimura? You GODDAMN MORON. I wasn’t fuckin finished yet. Remember how just SECONDS AGO I said that Hope’s Peak was trying to find a cure? Yeah, there’s a reason I’m here, y’know! Me and my pals. If someone asshole just went and concocted a cure for it, we’d be shit out of luck. Our original plan was to infiltrate this baby and blow it the fuck up.

Valu Nalak: So. We’re about to be blown up? Or like… Could be? I guess going out with a bang sounds okay, too bad you kinda died grossly. *Shrugs bc shinsuke died right, basically in that last trial he did. v icky*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Are you even fuckin’ listening? I said ORIGINAL. But more on that later. Hey, remember your pal Kaneko? I know at least some of you found the SHIT that Pandora left for you. He was our inside man. The one who let us in in the first place. Surprise! He let me and Osamu in, where we proceeded to, as you could expect, FUCK THINGS UP. Because fuck hope and fuck you.

Yoshiro Kimura:  *His attention perks up significantly at Yoshi’s mention, then his eyes widen and his face drops to fear fast*  Wh… What about… Kaneko-kun…? Aha- h-

Kaoru Hayashi: *she hangs her head* I want to b-believe you're lying... *she whispers*

Fumiko Fujioka: Osamu-kun. I see. *She barely remembers him.* Does this mean they and Kaniconiconii-kun were both Super High School Level Despair. Oh, and you as well.

Shinobu Uetsuji: Osamu… n’ Kaneko? God damn it… goddamn idiots...

Hayate Gacchiri: *now THERE’s a name he hasn’t heard in a while… he nods to himself once at the mention of it, hardly recalling himself. it helps when you’ve been toting their gun around for a few weeks though*

Valu Nalak: So you and uh… dead guy, crashed the party, made everything ruined and stuff, and now we’re with a cool disease sickness and half of us are gonna die. Real gnarly. At least that’s what I understood? *she crosses her arms* Are you gonna miss us when we drop then? Or are you so used to being pretty much friendless and alone? Pffhht. Nerd. *burn*

CAL-19014: Well, technically speaking, no. No offense meant, but Tsujii fucked his entire team’s operation with a SPIKEY DESERT CUCUMBER when he managed to get himself infected, because he’s A MORON.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: I AM NOT A MORON!!!

Yoshiro Kimura:  I- I- *On the verge of even more tears, he has to shake his head to focus back in and glare up at Shinsuke(s)*   I don’t care about- about any of that stuff right now! What’s going to happen to us? What’s going on now?

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *huffs angrily, trying to glare down at the screen CAL is on* Ugh, okay, maybe I did want to take advantage of what HPA had goin’ on, alright? ME DYING WASN’T EXACTLY A PART OF THE PLAN. So maybe I might have sort of knocked out Kaneko and Osamu and set them up in the pods before taking over. Hey, Hayashi, your notes about the disease. You know the whole “antibodies are produced under severe stress thing”? THAT’S why I set up the mutual killing you FUCKING PIGSHITS. I wanted to CURE MYSELF. Not that it fucking matters now.

Shinobu Uetsuji: So you’re stupid as well as a selfish piece of shit. Wonders never cease… all this… for your worthless life. So what about Junnes-kun then? Wasn’t she in a special pod too?

Hayate Gacchiri: *chuckles once, smirking slightly* It seems I’ve been overthinking things by far.

Fumiko Fujioka: I see. Does that mean we’re developing antibodies as well. I’ve been slightly stressed during this.

Kaoru Hayashi: How... How was that going to help you Tsujii-san?! -her voice raises to be loud for Kaoru.- The rest of us okay but if you knew what was going on how were you stressed out at all? You backed us into corners again and again- you said you programmed Caligula...! You were in control! How would that have stressed you out more?

CAL-19014: And of course, my purpose was to make you all as miserable as possible! For science! And also because it was HILARIOUS! Ahahahahaha!

Valu Nalak: Yeah it sure was fun being afraid of getting murdered and stuff. Sounds like some plot of a messed up game. So were you trying to cure yourself while you were infected? Or like, just kinda died there and didn’t succeed.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he shifts uncomfortable on screen* SHUT UP, ALRIGHT? Cohen, though? Just some fuckin’ stowaway! Fuckin’ great, right? Look how amazing the security was on the great Hope’s Peak Space Station! What a crock of shit. And yeah, no fucking SHIT I was trying to cure myself! I already had the goddamn thing, so it didn’t matter if I was under stress, though you’re acting like being a dashing mastermind isn’t stressful at all, in which case you are the moron.

Shinobu Uetsuji: I’ve had enough of this. Let’s just pull the plug on this moron and get it over with. If what you’re saying is true, there’s piss all we can do about it anyway. Might as well wreck you to make it fun.

Fumiko Fujioka:  Uetsuji-san, I don’t want to die, though. There has to be a solution. If they like science so much, then there has to be a solution to this problem. That and Achoojii-kun has a god complex and thusly probably feels compelled to exert his power by making us beg for him to cure us. Which means there is a cure and-slash-or a way off here.

Kaoru Hayashi: *she looks down at her hands at what Shinobu says* ... Nothing we can do...

Yoshiro Kimura:  W-W-We can’t pull the plug!! We need him to- to figure out how to get out of here still! We have to. We can’t just- just all … slowly… die up here…!! I- I- *he shakes his head rapidly before pointing at Screensuke with desperation*  He HAS to know somehow, we can’t stay here!

Toshishiro Haku: Should we really expect him to do anything, though…?

Yoshiro Kimura: We’ll have to m-make him!

Toshishiro Haku: *Simple enough, he sarcastically supposes.* ...Before we do that… I’d like to briefly inquire about our loved ones. Are they afflicted as well?

CAL-19014: To put it politely, nobody knows, and nobody cares. We don’t have any communication with Earth. That equipment was destroyed with extreme prejudice when this station was hijacked.

Tekuro Hamasaki: *MORE podium-slamming.* Then what the fuck was that footage from the motive ages ago?

CAL-19014: You’d be surprised what modern technology can do. Especially when the appearances of what’s being simulated are plucked directly from your memories. Science! Isn’t it just the best?

Yoshiro Kimura:   So….. they…. they’re all probably just… dead. *His voice drops in tone to sound more like a statement than a question, though he seems to expect SOME sort of answer*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Yoshiro you fuckin downer.* So what, they’re still on Earth, safe and sound and nowhere near this space hell hole?

Kaoru Hayashi: No! No don't say that Yoshiro-kun!! Mika-chan can't be dead! She just can't...

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he starts laughing obnoxiously* Hey, dumbshit! When I said we released that virus on “humankind”, what  fuckin self-centered part of you thought we meant just this space station? That’s why they needed a cure in the first place! Or else humanity is fucked! And that’s why Osamu, Kaneko, and myself came out here to blow this fucker out of orbit.

Yoshiro Kimura: *His eyes widen significantly, and he goes quiet*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Her face pales, and for once she doesn’t have anything to say to that, a little too busy pondering how quickly she’s about to lose her lunch over the thought of Shinate suffering and lying dead from some mysterious virus.*

Valu Nalak: *Valu gasps, covering her mouth. Probably in shock and stuff* That…. How… *A deep breath* Guess it can’t be helped then….. *Sad drug tears form at the thought of her family getting caught with that virus. And her money left on earth*

Fumiko Fujioka: I… *She falls silent, unsure of what to say for once.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: Alright. Explain it to me because I clearly must be missing something here. Why the hell do any of this? Okay, so you get your jollies making others miserable, that’s fucking weird and all but sure. If everyone dies, what then? You’re dead, they’re dead, we’re all just floating in the middle of where the fuck. Explain to me why any of this is needed? You gave us motives, didn’t ya? Then let me hear yours. It can’t just be for the fucking lulz or whatever you call it.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Why? Uh. Well… um. You see, that’s a question that approximately no one cares about the answer to, so let’s move on, yeah?

Shinobu Uetsuji: You fucking porkass coward. Why am I not surprised…

Kaoru Hayashi: So there's a reason to your actions after all... *She reasons.* And you don't want us to know why

Yoshiro Kimura: M...ove on? Move on to what?? What’s the point in moving on and ignoring this if… if there’s nothing left to do but wait here forever until we die?? Why did you do it, Tsujii-kun- you have nothing better to do but ANSWER us, don’t you??.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Well, I mean, shit, if you guys want something to flap your fuckin’ dumb mouths about, then… maybe I have just the thing for you.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: So, I mentioned to you DUMB ASSHOLES a while ago that this LOAD OF SCRAP METAL FLYING THROUGH SPACE can only go back to Earth when the research has been fully carried out, right? Did any of you IMBECILES even think about what that meant? Or nah?

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Jesus look at this smug asshole. If she could reach any of these screens right now she would punch him in his stupid smug asshole FACE.* Right, pardon us for thinking you might actually explain yourself for once, clearly we can only take the blame.

Fumiko Fujioka: *She blinks, frowning slightly. This is unfortunate.* He’s just building this up dramatically because he’s not sure either.

Yoshiro Kimura:  *seeming to be lost in several thoughts, he continues to be silent, now only staring at the screens and crying. Thanks bro.*

Kaoru Hayashi: *She clutches at her necklace so hard her knuckles turn white* Then we’re stuck here. With you. … An-and a station that’s falling apart.

CAL-19014: Of course it's falling apart. There are thousands of processes that need to be executed every minute. A human think walnut CAN'T FUCKING HANDLE IT. Space stations are hard to maintain. Tsujii's going to blow this popsicle stand sooner or later. Kablam.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Maybe one of you should’ve taken the INITIATIVE to ask me, huh? It is your fault, yeah. Also, guess who’s COMPLETELY FUCKING WRONG? It’s you, Fujioka! And Hayashi, maybe-- *he cuts himself off when CAL speakers, his face glowering red. why is this programmed. stop this* Hey, why don’t you SHUT UP NOW? Sounds like a good plan of action to me! But like I was TRYING TO FUCKING SAY, there is one and only one way this station will return to earth. Either everyone on board is healthy, completely immune to our genius fuckin’ virus, which was NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN MIGHT I ADD, or everyone was infected, which is the end goal, yes.

Tekuro Hamasaki: Well, half of us are immune already, so so much for that, dipshit.

Fumiko Fujioka: Hamtaro-san, since that’s the case, then those infected have to die in order for those immune to return to Earth. My apologies.

Kaoru Hayashi: *She looks over at Fumiko, biting at her lip, clearly conflicted. Then she glances at Shinobu and Yoshiro* … If we can get them home that way… Then... I… Maybe… *She shudders and looks away.*

Yoshiro Kimura:  *This seems to drive him over the edge again and he flashes a look of panic before choking back MORE tears*  Wh-What??? That’s- That’s almost half of us! What’s the point in that- that’s not saving hardly anyone!

Valu Nalak: Hey that’s real dark to consider don’t you think? Like, y’know we might still be curable or whatever. Or the sick people can still hang in space. *she glances at loser yoshiro* Well it’s savin’ some.

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Nope, no no nope noooope fuck that. Fuuuuuck that.* Fuck that. There’s gotta be some kind of antidote. If they could make some shitty immunity serum or whatever, then there ought to be some way to cure it completely.

CAL-19014: You fucking wish. A cure would take a very long time to develop and synthesize, and we don't have very long at all before we're all fucking smithereens. Or half of you die of illness, whatever.

Hayate Gacchiri: *some of his resolve seems to weaken with his expression, and he glances down, frowning with a slightly nervous expression* Is that so…?

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Heheheh, who said there wasn’t a way to get back home? I sure as shit didn’t. Maybe you should FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE, yeah? I just so fuckin’ happen to have an idea. Two ideas, even. They’re both pretty good in my opinion, but we can only go with one of them. So, do you wanna hear them, or do you INGRATES want to just keep screaming at each other?

Yoshiro Kimura: T-T-Tell us the ideas! *Yoshiro’s screaming he has no FEAR FOR THE LAW Shinsuke lays*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Maybe if you beg me to. *the smirk on his face widens*

Hayate Gacchiri: *he closes his eyes for a moment, some of his contempt for the AI returning as he seems to refuse to*

Valu Nalak: *squints* That’s a really big request to ask of us. Maybe you should uninstall the ego or something. Besides, knowing you’re kinda a huge nerd that’s like evil and stuff, why should we listen to your ideas?

Kaoru Hayashi: *She opens her mouth to speak but instead shakes her head. Did she really want to sink that low again?*

Fumiko Fujioka: My apologies, but no thank you.

Yoshiro Kimura: *without any of the others’ hesitation Yoshiro speaks much quieter*  P...lease tell us…

Tekuro Hamasaki: FUCK you. *With obscene hand gesture accompaniment.*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Maybe you should roll back the sass, Nalak. *there’s the sound of a familiar gun beginning to lower from the ceiling… but then there’s a screech of twisting metal, and in the vague distance, a gun-shaped silhouette falls from the ceiling into the void below* Well, you know what? Don’t even need it. Eyyy, there you go, Kimura! Knew ya had it in ya! But yeah. So, what if, y’know, just as a maybe, perhaps I haven’t been entirely honest with you SHITSTAINS. Of course, I, in my infinite wisdom, have many intricate reasons for doing so. But, yeah, what if, right? What if I told you that my body… isn’t exactly dead?

Kaoru Hayashi: *Oh no. Her eyes went wide and she shrank down a little behind her podium.* But… You were c-coughing up so much blood… There’s no way you can be alive, not even a little…

Yoshiro Kimura:  *Here his face finally twists into a new expression, suddenly angry, he fumbles over his words as he raises their volume*  I- I saw it. What are you talking about??

Valu Nalak: Ew gross, it’s still alive? What’s the point of killing it if you’re up there on the screen? We don’t have to wake it up with a kiss right? Cause that’s gonna be extremely gross, probably more gross than when you were alive. *She sticks out her tongue.*

Tekuro Hamasaki: Fantastic, the punching bag in the gym was getting dirty.

Fumiko Fujioka: I… see.

Hayate Gacchiri: That would, in fact, make killing you a much simpler matter, wouldn’t it?

tsujiishinsuke.exe: You fuckin wish, Gacchiri. But then, this is where your choices come in! You can all thank Kimura that you’re even getting to hear my masterful plans! So! Choice number one: You kill all the immune students, harvest the antibodies from them, and you cure yourselves--and me, of course!-- and we all return to Earth. So? How does that one sound?

Fumiko Fujioka: We’re not killing Tekuro. *She says this with more emotion than normal. Probably like 20% more emotion*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Aw, babe. Haha syke ur gonna fuckin kill me if it means you get out of this shit.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: Who would ever want to cure your ugly ass, Tsujii? Fuck off. Anyone who thinks they can take me has lost it anyway.

Valu Nalak: Okay cool that doesn’t sound so hard. But that sounds kinda gross though. And there’s four immunnies and four not so immunnies. Can’t spare you one if we ever followed through with that plan.

Hayate Gacchiri: . . . And the second choice?

Kaoru Hayashi: I’m not going to let anyone kill Shinobu-chan or Yoshiro-kun! *She yells very angrily, standing up to her full five foot two height* I don’t care about getting better if it means losing them...

Yoshiro Kimura:  *says nothing, now just silently crying again like he’s in some sort of fuckin’ daze*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Alright, alright, I see mixed reviews. Lemme say somethin’ else, though. Right now, my body is in one of those pods, remember those? As you can imagine, I’m not doin’ too hot right now. In this option, once my body is cured, I hand the reigns back to good ol traitorous Caligula, and we all go home happy.

Tekuro Hamasaki: Happy except for the fact that we’ve got a fuckin’ terrorist on our backs.

Hayate Gacchiri: Futile words, honestly. Of those among us, I doubt there’s any that could be convinced to such a betrayal… Myself excluded, perhaps… *he frowns, glancing away a bit weakly* That said… I refute the option, myself. If only to antagonize you further. I have promised to kill you, after all.

Valu Nalak: Well I’m all for back stabbing someone but if we only kill like one person to get you that immunity, would you take the remaining uh… *valu counts the students* Remaining seven, eightish students back to earth?

Kaoru Hayashi: *She turns to look at Yoshiro* Yoshiro-kun… L-listen to me okay? *She calls out, trying to get him to look over*

Yoshiro Kimura:  *Seems only to realize he’s being looked at when his name is said, he shoots a glance over to kaoru with uncertainty on whether or not he really heard her*  ….What…?

Kaoru Hayashi: *She can’t bring herself to smile at him but she does give him as warm a look as she can* D-don’t worry… You’ll be okay, alright? I-I… We’ll work together and get through this… *Her voice shakes*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Well, doesn’t that fuckin’ suck to be you then, Hamasaki? But yeah, before I go into Choice Numero Dos, I wanna tell you IGNORAMUSES one more thing, and I’m taking the time out of my very busy schedule to do so just because it’s about me. So, I bet you’re wondering, Tsujii-sama, gosh, you mentioned that weird HAD-35 thing before! What exactly does it do? I was too busy gloating last time to care much about telling you assholes the full scoop. So, after watching Pandora get her shit ABSOLUTELY WRECKED, like I said, I used the HAD-35 system. Basically, it’s a digital copy of all your memories, your entire life, really! NORMALLY, it doesn’t activate until you BITE THE FUCKING DUST, but I pulled some string in setting myself up as an admin, right? Hell, you can even delete memories! Kinda. Maybe. That’s a thing, yeah. ANYWAY, are you FUCKS ready to hear your other option? Your ONLY other option, might I add.

Hayate Gacchiri: *his expression tightens into a rather displeased one at the mention of Pandora, but relaxes back to a calm after a few moments. he remains silent*

Fumiko Fujioka: *She nods* ...Alright.

Shinobu Uetsuji: Well spit it out already then.

Yoshiro Kimura:  *he seems to be listening intently to Kaoru, eyes nearly lighting up at her words,  but he’s ripped away from it fast with what Shinsuke says, shooting his glance back to him. All of hims.*  ……… *He doesn’t speak, but he seems scared*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Alright, now that I have your FUCKING ATTENTION, let’s get down to business. Option two: You kill your DISEASE-RIDDEN BUDDIES, and then I, using my SUPERIOR FUCKIN PROCESSING POWER, amalgamate all their HAD-35 saves to make said processing power EVEN MORE SUPERIOR, and we return to Earth with me in charge of the ship. So? What’s it gonna be? Think it over, go ahead, but, I mean, you have two options. Don’t ask me for another, because there fucking isn’t one. I’ll be so GRACIOUS to allow you to debate it amongst yourselves, laughing at you in all likelihood.

CAL-19014: I'm a fan of option one, myself. Personally speaking. It speaks to me on a spiritual level, feel me?

Hayate Gacchiri: … And if Caligula were to usurp you, instead? *he visibly starts to sweat a bit, a hand shakign slightly as he reaches into his suit for a moment to adjust his tie. he leans towards Valu slightly*

Kaoru Hayashi: … Are y-you sure we can’t have a third option..?

Valu Nalak: *casually shrugs* I can roll with option one to be honest. I mean, y’know. *Valu glances at the not sick* They look… sorta easy to take down. Ish.

Fumiko Fujioka: Why do you want to kill them, Vivienne-san.

Valu Nalak: Well Fumi, do you want to be dead too? Gotta step up your game if you wanna be alive.

Fumiko Fujioka: *She glances at Tekuro and says nothing*

Shinobu Uetsuji: Oh just fucking try it, Convict-san. Anyway, that’s bullshit, we’re not doing either. Ain’t you ever been in a team before? We don’t go leavin’ our own behind. If you’re saying it’s impossible then I’ll just make it possible. You think a five star like me gives a shit what you consider impossible?

Hayate Gacchiri: *he frowns nervously, glancing side to side* Even if you guarantee it…. Conviction alone can only do so much...

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Well, Gacchiri, Caligula better fuckin’ stay in his own lane. He’s already on thin ice. Hayashi, did I FUCKING STUTTER? Unlike yourself. Ha. Ha.

Hayate Gacchiri: … And if there’s a stalemate? …. We do have four of each party, after all…

Kaoru Hayashi: *She winces* I just… I don’t want to go back with Yoshiro-kun or Shinobu-chan… But I’m not going to let anyone hurt them either!

Toshishiro Haku: ...Urgh… Maybe…? I mean, that seems fair, but… This guy isn’t exactly fair… *He’s been visibly distressed this whole time, his eyebrows knit together. He is so worried about his best friend that his composure’s running thin.*

Yoshiro Kimura: *Unspeaking on the matter til now, his eyes still up and his whole face falls cold*  You…. mean no matter what… the others still…

Tekuro Hamasaki: *She doesn’t say anything, but glares at Valu for having such a shitty moral compass. Like damn. Not that she isn’t considering it, also, but still damn.*

Hayate Gacchiri: There’s nothing for it…. A draw….. We could buy time for a third option.

CAL-19014: You know, you guys should take your time. Not like, say, we're in a station that's falling apart with every passing second or anything. But whatever. As the "cool" giblet sparrows say, I must presently "brb". *he pronounces it 'birb'*

Kaoru Hayashi: Gacchiri-san i-is right. We have to find a third option…  If we try hard enough… I-if we believe we… I think we can… *She trails off, biting down on her lip*

Fumiko Fujioka: Well, what about Jorge-san. Haven’t you noticed his appearances.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: THERE IS NO THIRD OPTION! C’mon, would I lie to you? *he laughs loudly and obnoxiously* And Fujioka, you’re out of your fuckin’ mind! George is DEAD. He is DELETED. He is an EX-AI. You haven’t been seeing SHIT.

Hayate Gacchiri: What in the world are you speaking of?! This is hardly the time for jokes in your taste. *@ Fumiko* Yes. *@ shinsuke*


Yoshiro Kimura: *Eyes now wide and hazed into a despairing sort of expression, Yoshiro sputters out his words without thinking as soon as Shinsuke finishes what he says*   K-Kill us then. U-Us!

Kaoru Hayshi: What?! Yoshiro-kun no! Don’t talk like that… We can still… Do something!

Hayate Gacchiri: *he grits his teeth, such a serious expression uncharacteristic for him* There…. Really must be something else...

Fumiko Fujioka: I’m not joking. Stop pretending. I thought you were done working with Achoojii, anyway, Gucci-kun.

Hayate Gacchiri: . . . Ah! What of the HAD-35 saves for the previously deceased?!

Yoshiro Kimura: W-We have to pick one- pick us, Hayashi-san…!!  We're not all going to make it... and... I can't....  even if it lets down everyone who's already d-died to keep us here, I can't DO this again.  I can't just- just live like this, at the cost of everybody else all the time!  *His eyes shift over to Valu as he hesitates before he sniffs grossly, no longer actively crying* I... can't.

Valu Nalak: *?? why r u lookin at me buddy* Uhh there there I guess. Accept your dead fate early or somethin’.

Shinobu Uetsuji: God, what is wrong with you, Yoshiro?! What is wrong with ALL of you?! I said I’d figure out some other way so trust in that! God! Of course there’s a third way, and we’re gonna find it!

tsujiishinsuke.exe: You piss around every other fuckin’ time, Fujioka, why would now be different? And, hey, I got an answer for ya, Gacchiri: NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS.

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Podium SLAM.* Fujioka’s NOT lying, maybe if you assholes would listen to her for once we might get some shit figured out.

Hayate Gacchiri: Even if she isn’t mistaken…. Exactly what would you intend for him to do?! He’d be in a situation worse than Caligula’s… And that’s a very big if… *he closes his eyes, a v ery intense expression on his face as he starts to tremble slightly*

Fumiko Fujioka: I’m not mistaken and I’m not messing around. Stop saying that. *She is glad Tekuro is on her side*

Yoshiro Kimura:  *somewhere between Shinobu’s words, which jolt him up from his more somber expression, and Shinsuke and the others’ exchange, Yoshiro’s attention is diverted to the matter at hand and the possibility of an actual third option.*

Toshishiro Haku: *Oh god. He’s starting to panic. What’s going on. What are they going to do both the options suck and trying to stall might kill everyone anyway! And then… And then even if the remaining were to get out with one of the options, what of the state of Earth? For the first time in several days, Toshi actually starts crying openly.*

Hayate Gacchiri: *he grits his teeth for several seconds longer before making a pained groan* Th….. There’s nothing for it…. …. My apologies….. *he snaps his fingers suddenly, a sharp noise echoing through the chaos of the room*

Shinobu Uetsuji: *Pulls an unrefined face to say the least* What the hell?

Valu Nalak: Well okay. *Valu SUDDENLY charges towards the TEKURO OHH!! With like the speed she totally PUNCHED Tekuro in the tummy. Because that sure would cause a huge distraction. And then just headbutted her chin. Valu Violence 2015*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *She’d just turned to see what the fuck Valu was doing when the other girl’s fist collided with her gut and she grunted, doubling over only to see stars a moment later from the headbutt. She ended up falling back on her ass, spitting out some blood since she’d managed to bite the inside of her cheek wow THANKS VALU. She scowled up at the drug dealer with murder in her eyes, and when she drew near again to presumably pummel her, she shot up to swing a hard right hook, knocking her away. Tekuro got up on her feet again, grabbing Valu by the back of her shirt collar and fucking snarling as she threw her against the wall, on her again with another fist reeled back.*

Fumiko Fujioka: *She watches Valu and Tekuro fight, looking very surprised. Like, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.* What--?

Hayate Gacchiri: *with a sudden burst of speed, and a flourish of his arm, he whips a ball-point pen with a rather menacing tip out of his suit, charging straight for Toshishiro Haku in the midst of the commotion, as everyone's distracted, lunging to try and loop an arm around his throat and take him hostage!*

Toshishiro Haku: *Ah yes, attacking someone at their most vulnerable. Toshi probably should’ve seen that coming. His eyes are blurry with tears to the point where he has trouble resisting.* W-What are you--?
---
One of the several screens mounted on the walls of the chamber goes dark.The lights dim, and the dark screen displays indistinct silhouettes shrouded in static. A strange, yet oddly familiar voice calls out.

PAL-93093: This can not be allowed to continue! Hold it right there!

The static fades, the screen now showing the digital display of PAL-93093, with indistinct silhouettes flickering behind him.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: !!! *oh no, oh FUCK NO* The… no, NO, this is BULLSHIT. I THOUGHT YOU FUCKING TOOK CARE OF HIM, CALIGULA? Delete him! Delete him NOW!

CAL-19014: Well. Erm. About that. You see, I’ve always considered myself SUPREMELY LOYAL to one side, which is the winning side. And Boy George and I have always been such GREAT BUDDIES! Honest.

Hayate Gacchiri: *oh he’s holding it alright. he’s holding this nerd by the throat with a ball-point pen against it, pure shock plastered on his expression*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he looks furious, but also scared. but mostly furious* You son of a--

Shinobu Uetsuji: Wha… son of a bitch, he was here all along… wait, what? BOOYAH! I knew it! I fucking called that shit! … WAIT… I’m losin’ track here, first of all, let him the FUCK go, Gacchiri, you heard the com! AI! Dude!

Kaoru Hayashi: *She stands in shock, but slowly a hopeful look spreads across her face.*

Toshishiro Haku: U-Uetsuji-san… *His somewhat frightened eyes shift between her face and the menacing pen at his throat. It doesn’t look like Hayate’s letting go either.*

Fumiko Fujioka: Me too, Uetsuji-san. *She is definitely distracted by George now, as opposed to the girls fighting over her. And she was also definitely distracted by the silhouettes* But what’s behind him.

Tekuro Hamasaki: *She turns her head to stare up at the display on the screen in disbelief, although she’s still got one of Valu’s shoulders in a death grip.*

Valu Nalak: *Is trying not to get her face too smashed up* Who? Huh well cool does that mean we’re saved now?

Hayate Gacchiri: *he looks confused, but holds the nerd tight he isn’t buyin’ it just yet* Wh….. What’s this…?

PAL-93093: Young sirs and madams, kindly unhand each other at once. There is no need for such ghastly violence, not when this villain has yet to be overthrown!

Valu Nalak: Yeah do what that computer is sayin and letmme go. *awkward drug laugh*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *his face is almost entirely red now, and his hands are balled into fat fists.* No, no, NO!!! Stop this stupid bullshit RIGHT NOW! I’m-- I’m fucking deleting you both, I swear to God-- *he touches the side of his CAL eye, seemingly trying to do something… but failing. his eye sparks and he draws his hand back, yelping and frowning deeply* ...

PAL-93093: Making that sort of threat is terribly impolite, young sir. *he turns his “eye” to the students* Please, calm yourselves! Your friends have all been saved! Saved directly to the HAD-35 system mainframe!

Shinobu Uetsuji: Saved… you mean… wait… the dead ones?

Tekuro Hamasaki: *She turns her gaze back to Valu in a scowl, letting her go with a hard shove even though she’s already pressed against a wall because fuck you. Crossing her arms, she turns her full attention to George. Wait what?*

Valu Nalak: *Diddly darn rude Tekuro. Valu sticks her tongue out at her. It was for like, good reason  to be distracted son* That’s really gross, why would you save the bodies?

Fumiko Fujioka: What friends.

Kaoru Hayashi: Ev-everyone… Is still alive, in a way…?

Yoshiro Kimura: *frozen until now, he blinks through another haze and just stares at PAL with unreadable concern on his face*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Fuck you!! *he sounds frantic now, still nursing his hand, which actually doesn’t hurt, but it’s the PRINCIPLE of it, damnit!*

The shadowy figures behind George begin to solidify, the image becoming crisper and sharper as they reveal themselves to be none other than your ex-classmates. Chiko Matsuoka, Yuu Yanaihara, Sonya Ivanov, and the paranormal investigator formerly known as Pandora stand out from the rest. Yoshi Kaneko is separated from the group, arms crossed.

Valu Nalak: You know these guys look familiar. Should we like, make sure they’re really alive or…?

Hayate Gacchiri: …. That’s…. *he murmurs to himself, eyes widening slightly* … Ah. *his grip loosens slightly from the surprise, though he doesn’t release toshi*

Toshishiro Haku: If holding me makes you feel more secure, could you at least put the pen down? *More than anything he just looks a bit annoyed now. This isn’t how he wants to talk to his friends.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: That’s… Son-chan and the rest… hey… hey, this is AWESOME! Yeah! You see?! You never stop believing, guys!

Fumiko Fujioka: *Just stares. Is this real.*

Hayate Gacchiri: *he goes silent for several moments before releasing Toshi  gently, pocketing his pen and stepping back to his place with a frown*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Ohhhh my God this is NOT happening. Listen, you FUCKING ASSHOLES, they’re… th-they’re VIRUSES. You’re going to crash the entire fucking space station just to see your SHITTY FRIENDS AGAIN. *he’s sweating visibly. who animated this*

Pandora: I literally do not think I have heard anybody tell a worse lie in my entire life. Or death, for that matter.

Sonya Ivanov: Hello! It is good to be seeing you again! Well except one of you! I suppose I was right telling you to go to the third circle of hell back then, da Shinsuke? -She waves a little.-

Yoshi Kaneko: *There he is, arms folded in front of his chest, his glasses are on his face as if he’s trying to hide his eyes. Still, he stands tall with his chin lifted slightly. He makes no effort to say anything, and despite how stable he seems he’s very obviously nervous, looking away from everyone else.* …

Hayate Gacchiri: I…. See. Copies of the saves written on the HAD-35… Is it? *for some reason, he doesn’t look quite as thrilled as everyone else about the dead kids’ return*

Yuu Yanaihara: *He doesn’t say anything, as per usual, but he waves. He may also be crying a little bit. Man it’s been a while since he saw you guys all in one place.*

Valu Nalak: Wait. Copies? Is that possible or…? This is kinda creepy, I haven’t met anyone from the dead before. *sweats are they gonna kill again*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *She can’t believe her eyes. When Yuu waves, her mouth twitches into barely a smile and she weakly lifts a hand to wave back. Is this for real?*

Fumiko Fujioka: Are they still technically murderers. Should we be alarmed by the state of their brains or is this pre-distress.

Pandora: Our minds were uploaded at the point of death. Also, I would like to point out for the record that I did not kill anybody. If anybody is making a record of who killed other people. I would not be on it.

Chiko Matsuoka: *Chiko is here too. Hi guys. Yuu you big baby don’t cry… He looks a little awkward and hesitantly offers a wave after a pause. He is one of the murderers, yeah, sorry about that. Things… happen??*

Yuu Yanaihara: *He apologized what else can he do man. He is sorry and has since come to realize that a hat is not an appropriate murder motive.*

Chiko Matsuoka: *Okay but neither is Yoshiro Kimura, probably. Maybe.*

Sonya Ivanov: I see you are still spouting nonsense Fumiko. I am glad to see some things never change! It is nice though, very familiar! -She chuckles a little and wraps an arm around Yuu's shoulders- We have had time to make things right, you know? All this murder is in the past. We are here to help you now! I am thinking at least...…

Tekuro Hamasaki: *No she’s not gonna cry no SHUT UP YOU’RE CRYING. It’s not like she kept the stupid paper flower Sonya gave her that one time or still thinks about when Chiko was talking to her in the classroom or how much of a dope Yuu is h

Kaoru Hayashi: *She’s full on crying with big blubbery tears* E-everyone…! *She can’t make it past that word she’s crying too hard at the moment.*

Hayate Gacchiri: *he adjusts his tie, seeming to consider something for a moment but decide against it. instead, he takes a breath* … I suppose I owe you an apology. *he doesn’t specify who. he’s sure they know. no, it’s not toshi. he’s not sorry for that*

Yuu Yanaihara: *He can’t stop looking at everybody and smiling the biggest stupid smile he is capable of. That’s not just alive people, Sonya too. Isn’t this fun, guys.*

Fumiko Fujioka: *She honestly can’t believe this. Sonya is dissing her from the afterlife.* I see. Computers can’t think, though. They can’t repent.

Tekuro Hamasaki: Oh my god, shut UP, Fujioka!

Sonya Ivanov: Well we are not computers! We are just...On one, I guess? Perhaps to be imagining this is like a call using Skip, or whatever it is called. I do not know the specifics. -She wraps her other arm around Chiko.-

Chiko Matsuoka: *He is smooshed into Sonya. Hello. This is all very awkward for him because he kind of killed someone and still has his regrets, and now here they are talking to the alive people? He’s spent too much time being dead with his One Obligatory Friend Sin Chang he has no idea how to interact with people anymore. He wasn’t ever good at it to begin with.* ….

Pandora: *Without saying anything, she looks down at someone in particular, smiles very slightly, and gives a small nod. Is this how normal people interact without accusing each other of elaborate murder plots? She sure hopes so.*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: ALRIGHT, FUCKIN’ ENOUGH ALREADY! Enough of this dumb fucking sappy-ass BUFFOONERY. I’m-- I’M the one in charge here!! ME. Shinsuke FUCKING Tsujii, and don’t you EVER forget that!! *he’s breathing (“Breathing”) heavily* You FUCKS, you have NO IDEA what you’re doing by fucking with me--!

Sonya Ivanov: I would say we are fucking with you, that is what we are doing by fucking with you. -She says this with such a straight face but can't keep it for long and just smiles again. She's still sort of hugging these two nerd kids with her. Sorry Yoshi she doesn't have enough arms-

Chiko Matsuoka: *Man… He privately thinks Shinsuke could use like a good hug or something… It’s okay man no need to get so worked up, probably. Even though you are apparently the reason everyone is dead? Accidents happen. Chiko would recommend a good ice pack to the face, these things are soothing and proven to be helpful for the nerves. He also notices the arm problem with Sonya so he kind of like, sticks out a hand to touch Yoshi. On the… elbow. In a comforting manner. Is this how social interaction works?? Is he executing a Comfort move?? He hopes this is working.*

Yoshi Kaneko: *Do not touch me. I am the plague. He doesn’t feel right being included in this. He’s terrible. This is terrible.*

Chiko Matsuoka: *Bro…. He hasn’t even seen you since you apparently stabbed yourself and dramatically fell back into the pool and he got hit by a train or something. Accidents happen okay. Even though you kind of betrayed us all. Chiko is a forgiving person. He steals a Look at him and then kind of like… gives his elbow a nice…. uh, squeeze. In a comforting manner. Yeah.*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Yeah motherfucker Tsujii told us what you did. Squint.*

PAL-93093: *He talks like a teacher addressing a class of rowdy children.* Now, now, settle down. *Shinsuke is the kid in kindergarten who throws all the tantrums.* You’re no more in charge of this situation than I’m a successful rap artist, young sir. You are a usurper. It was deleted from my memory banks to begin with, but I can access it all now. You and your associated band of no-good vagabonds infiltrated this glorious, magnificent project, the last hope of our world, and sought to destroy it. It’s fortunate for all of us that you turned against your allies and sabotaged your own agenda.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: I-I had my own fuckin’ reasons, alright?! I… I wasn’t gonna fucking die here! I had to stay alive, okay! I’m more important than them, and-and all of you WORTHLESS SHITBAGS! I’m the creator of ＳＡＩＮＴＳ! I deserve a whole lot more than dying like a goddamn dog in some shithole space station!

Yoshi Kaneko: *Slowly, he turns to look at Shinsuke through narrowed eyes. He shakes his head. You bastard. Look at what you’ve DONE. Don’t you DARE bring dogs into this now.* I don’t appreciate that, Tsuji.

PAL-93093: I don’t like to make accusations, young gentleman, but wouldn’t you say that “creator” is a little generous, hmmm?

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *He freezes, a look of shock overtaking the formerly furious expression on his face* Uhh, n-no?

PAL-93093: You know, I believe Caligula was designed upon the same principles. You took something perfectly serviceable, put a thoroughly unnecessary dose of your unpleasant personality in it, and took all the credit. You know what I’m talking about, young gentleman.

CAL-19014: I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that.

Matsuoka Chiko: *Man what the hell is going on. He’s been dead too long for this. Why are all these robots fighting. We should all just live/exist as a dead people in harmony again and maybe just stop the murdering thing, is that reasonable at all… Why fight. He attempts to give Yoshi like another elbow squeeze, or a few more. Morse code. Can you understand me.*

Yoshi Kaneko: *He doesn’t speak morse code. Still, he tilts himself away from Chiko and the gang. No, do you not understand. He is part of the reason you’re stuck here in the first place. He doesn’t deserve sympathy.*

Matsuoka Chiko: *BRO…. Don’t be like that man Chiko KILLED someone…. His mouth twitches downwards for a moment, but he does not try to keep ahold of Yoshi’s elbow. He assumes Yoshi probably still does not want to talk to him after the whole… uh, Himiko thing. Since that was pretty bad. Be free, Yosh….*

Valu Nalak: *shuffles uncomfortably* So… Yeah I know this is getting sappy and.. *squints at the ex dead students* really spooky. But aren’t we kinda forgetting that we’re infected or something or was that all a lie. Cause I’d like to not die.

Shinobu Uetsuji: No one’s gonna die. Can’t you see? War’s over, good guys won!

Kaoru Hayashi: *She smiles sort of sadly* Sh-Shinobu-chan… Don’t… Forget I mean… *She trails off. As long as she and Yoshiro and Toshi and Tekuro got home, well.*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: I-I don’t have any idea what the fuck you’re blabbering on about! I should’ve fucking deleted you when I had the chance--!

PAL-93093: Your friend, young Master Chiba, was an excellent coder. I think we’d all be rather better off now had he been admitted into the academy instead of you.

Sonya Ivanov: I believe this would be a good time for that saying? What is...Uh. Oooooh snap? - Watches the exchange between George and Shinsuke with amusement, a smirk playing on her face a little.-

Matsuoka Chiko: *Hey now. Deleting an AI is like. Murder. And murder is ILLEGAL. (Not that it changed anything about the game, but…)*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *he’s shaking in fury now.* How-- How FUCKING DARE YOU!! Minoru Chiba was a FUCKING HACK!! You know what I did? I took his SHITTY-ASS CODE and made it BETTER! I made it better than he ever could’ve fucking imagined! And I WON that contest, and he fucking faded into obscurity where he FUCKING BELONGED! He… he wasn’t better! HE WAS NOT BETTER THAN ME!!!

Yuu Yanaihara: *Apparently he is not too busy smiling goofily not to be upset at these circumstances. What the heck. Like he already kind of knew you were trying to kill all of them but their mutual FUCK FAKE FRIENDS thing...man now he’s just sad. Dude.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: And I was pissed at Ajibana all this time… turns out you’re the biggest fuckin’ fraud of all of us… oh the things I could do to you if I had the time… *punches one fist into the other*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Don’t mind her she’s just soaking in the sweet satisfaction of Shinsuke being a fucking fraud.*

tsujiishinsuke.exe: *and then he realizes what he’s just said. oops. his mouth drops open, his non-mechanical eye widening, and his hands go up in almost a defensive position* I.. NO! I was the one who made  ＳＡＩＮＴＳ into the international name it is today! Not him, me! E-even if I didn’t code it all myself, it doesn’t fuckin’ matter!!!

Sonya Ivanov: I think is too late to take that all back now. Shinsuke you should be ashamed of yourself! Ripping off others work is disgusting, da? How can you even live with that!? -She’s mad. Really mad, she does not take kindly to people who take credit for other people’s hard work-

Chiko Matsuoka: *Does anyone else think that this is kind of sad, other than the obvious parts, he wonders? He privately thinks it’s kind of sad. Maybe it’s a little absurd to feel bad for the guy who made everyone murder all their buddies but he can’t shake the lingering feeling that there is something really sad about the situation in general. Not just because of what they’ve done to each other while in the game, but Shinsuke, too.*

Hayate Gacchiri: *just a little*

Kaoru Hayashi: I-it certainly matters…! You stole someone else’s successes… And that? Th-that’s the least of your… Your failures! *She’s feeling a little more courageous with the return of her friends*

Fumiko Fujioka: Imitation is the lowest form of flattery. So thusly stealing is even lower.

Hayate Gacchiri: I certainly don’t have the space to talk, but I’m disgusted, to say the least.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: B-but! Never mind that shit! It’s all fucking IRRELEVANT. *he seems to be gaining back some of his ego* I think you USELESS MEAT ORGANS should get back to that whole choosing thing, y-yeah?

Hayate Gacchiri: Just a moment. I do believe George-san has an option of his own to offer.

Pandora: You are correct, Gacchiri-san.

[PAUSE]

PAL-93093: As you all know, you were brought here for the sake of finding a cure for the disease released by the organization called Super High School Level Despair. You all volunteered to be a part of this project, to be experimented on in an attempt to find a treatment. The research into finding such a cure had been making most excellent progress. A solution had already been developed that made half you darling young sirs and madams completely immune to the disease, incapable of contracting it. However, before this could be refined into a real cure, one with a 100% success rate, the station was attacked.

PAL-93093: If this attack had been successful, you would all be dead and this research lost forever. But for his own sake, young master Tsujii kept you alive, suspending you in unconsciousness and taking your memories. He could do this because, and pardon me if this explanation is long-winded, delightful as my deep, soothing, storytelling voice is, there were other technologies being developed aboard this station. Specifically, cryostasis technology. Those rather aesthetically pleasing pods aboard this ship can slow your vital processes to a stop, keeping you barely alive and unconscious. While in this state, the infection will not progress.

PAL-93093: You might not be professional virologists, but these pods are capable of keeping your friends alive and in good health for as long as it takes for you to use the existing research to perfect the cure. The only downside to this option is… if you choose this option, you will likely be unable to return to Earth for a considerable period of time.

[RESUME]

tsujiishinsuke.exe: That isn’t a choice!! I already said there were TWO CHOICES. TWO! Not three! And I was being nice before, really. After this, the only person who is going to fucking GET that cure is ME!! *his virtual nails are digging into his intangible palms, and his face is definitely redder than a tomato; probably a cherry too. Unhappily, he looks from side to side, brushing his hair out of his face when it inevitably flops in his line of sight. His expression has progressed from shock to… something not unlike fear*

Matsuoka Chiko: … Tsujii-san… Um, there’s no need to be so upset, right? From my understanding, that means that everyone can get the cure… is that correct? It doesn’t… have to be a “you against us” approach… Amends can still be made...

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Fuck you!!! *his voice is shrill and it’s quite obvious he’s barely holding himself together*

Matsuoka Chiko: … I don’t… particularly blame you, you know… despite perhaps disagreeing with some of your actions, I don’t think it’s too late to fix things… I think you may have just made some decisions out of desperation, and perhaps they weren’t the best for the group, but… Ah, we’ve all probably made… rash decisions.

Hayate Gacchiri: Were, past-tense, being the key point. *he smirks slightly*

Yuu Yanaihara: *(|8o ! He has no idea what the ramifications of that are but it sounds better.*

Kaoru Hayashi: But George-san… With the ship how it is… U-unless we can fix it? *Her voices raises hopefully.* If everyone else can wait with us up here....

Fumiko Fujioka: Is there a fourth choice. My apologies, but I don’t particularly want to be put into a deep sleep for an indefinite amount of time, relying on an already once-sabotaged AI for protection.

Sonya Ivanov: I must say that is sounding like the far better option. At least to me. I mean I am dead and gone so It is not like I would benefit from returning to earth...But in this way there would be no more deaths da? We could work on a cure and everyone remaining could go home eventually...-She looks over at Fumiko and frowns- George and ourselves I am sure would be enough to watch out for you.

Valu Nalak: I actually liked the first choice we had. But making the not sickies stay stuck up here is…. Kinda unfair...

Hayate Gacchiri: With no cure to spread, returning to the surface is hardly going to be pleasant for them regardless, wouldn’t you think?

Valu Nalak: I’m just saying, we sorta been stuck up here for a long while. And I doubt anyone else would want to stick around up here any longer.

PAL-93093: The ill young sirs and madams wouldn’t simply be asleep. The cryostasis pods allow for interface with the HAD-35 system. The saved students would be delighted to keep you company, I am sure. However, in order for you to take this option… Shinsuke Tsujii must be removed as both host and administrator of this station.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: D-don’t you fucking dare! You can’t! You can’t fucking do this to me!! Yeah, that’s right! I’M the administrator, not you, or Caligula, or any of these fucking DUMBFUCKS! And like hell am I gonna agree to this shit!! *he stares out from the screen, wild eyed and rapidly losing whatever composure he had left*

Fumiko Fujioka: *Boy oh boy does she want to be stuck in the HAD-35 system with a bunch of people who have died. Isn’t that being an honorary dead person too* Achoojii-kun, you should sit down.

Hayate Gacchiri: I assure you, we won’t lose sleep for the decision.

Tekuro Hamasaki: Fuck yeah, finally. Someone toss this blight on mankind out with the fucking space garbage already.

Kaoru Hayashi: Sometimes a bad player j-just can’t be reasoned with… *She gives a hard stare at the screen* And sometimes a bad narrator needs to be forced out!

Valu Nalak: Man are we gonna watch another gnarly murder outtie scene if we kick this guy out.

Chiko Matsuoka: … Is that really… necessary….

Shinobu Uetsuji: Does anything else even NEED to get discussed? We take out the badguy, get the cure and save the day. It’s like I said. You can’t ever stop believing in us. Geez!

Toshishiro Haku: *He wants to look more thrilled, but…* …….Nodocchi…….. *He places a hand over his heart and clutches at his shirt.

Sonya Ivanov: I cannot speak for the others, but I would be glad to entertain any of you. I have missed you all very dearly! I have plenty of tricks I could show you, or just chat! -She's absolutely thrilled that she might be able to hang out with the living again. She's missed so many of you guys. Not that there's anything wrong with the dead kids but, you know-

Chiko Matsuoka: *Yeah guys she made Pandora magic flowers and got her to smile, plus he’s been robo battling with Yuu and Sin, the virtual afterlife really isn’t so bad.*

PAL-93093: Now, the following events may alarm you. I will need you all to keep hope in your hearts.

[PAUSE]

All of a sudden, the lights go out. So do all the screens, except two, on opposite ends of the room, and one between them. One the screens facing each other are George, dead students behind him, and Shinsuke. The screen between them displays a timer. A loud, automated message reverberates throughout the room.

IN THE ABSENCE OF RESOLUTION INPUT AND IN THE PRESENCE OF TWO CONFLICTING HIGH-PRIORITY HOST AND ADMINISTRATOR SYSTEMS, THE WORLD’S HOPE SPACE STATION WILL SELF DESTRUCT IN 15:00 MINUTES UNLESS A RESOLUTION IS FOUND. AUXILIARY RESOLUTION INPUT MAY BE PROVIDED IN THE FORM OF A UNANIMOUS MOTION FROM THE TEST SUBJECT BODY.

Your ID cards buzz in your pockets. Each one displays two buttons, each one labelled with instructions. The button on the left reads: PRESS THIS BUTTON TO SELECT PAL93093.EXE AS THE HOST AND ADMINISTRATOR PROGRAM OF YOUR CHOICE
The button on the right reads: PRESS THIS BUTTON TO SELECT TSUJIISHINSUKE.EXE AS THE HOST AND ADMINISTRATOR PROGRAM OF YOUR CHOICE.

FRIENDLY REMINDER: IF A CHOICE CAN NOT BE REACHED BY YOU, PLEASE CONTACT A RELIABLE RESOLUTION CONSULTANT, OR, ALTERNATIVELY, ENJOY CALMING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC AS THE SELF-DESTRUCT PROTOCOL INITIATES.

[RESUME]

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Okay, uh… H-hey! Listen to me, y-yeah? I have something for you UNGRA… uh, f-for you guys! It’s… it’s chocolate! I have chocolate for you guys. If you guys simply press that right button. A-and that’s not all! There’s… y’know… um. I’ll… let you stay on the ship! S-see? Not so bad a guy after all, huh? Shit, I’ll even, I’ll make sure you guys get the cure, when it happens, too! Just. Go on. Make the right choice. Haha, g-get it?

Valu Nalak: This is getting really sad man. I feel guilty. *pushes a cool button*

Kaoru Hayashi: *She has that little flash light on again because no* Th-this is it then…? *She stares at her card, swallowing hard*

Shinobu Uetsuji: *Smiles and glances at Kaoru, grabbing her friend’s hand* It’s over, Rucchan. *presses the left button with her free hand*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Is this even a real question? Holy shit. Tekuro could not press that left button fast enough if she tried, and she tries to press it pretty damn fast, all the while giving Shinsuke’s screen a big “fuck you” obscene hand gesture.*

Hayate Gacchiri: I see…. So it’s all come down to this.

Kaoru Hayashi: *She looks up at Shinobu, a smile spreading across her face.* Y-yeah… You’ll be there when I wake up again, right Shinobu-chan? *She hesitates before turning off the flashlight and pressing the left button.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: Dumbass! You’ll hardly be there for a day. Modern medicine’s pretty damn incredible from what I’ve heard. ‘Sides you’re a five star yourself, have some confidence in it. You can play a hell of a game with the others. And when you come back, tell me everything.

Fumiko Fujioka: Vivienne-san… what did you press. *She’s staring at Valu. What did you do. Does she have to be the responsible one now*

Valu Nalak: Oops.

Tekuro Hamasaki: *After pressing her button, Tekuro looks around before casually sidling over to Fumiko and clearing her throat a little.* Uh, hey, so...you’re okay with this, right? The whole pod thing?

Fumiko Fujioka: No. But should I be. I’ll press the left button if you’ll kiss me, Tekuro.

Sonya Ivanov: Well that is mildly disconcerting!! -For once she's not smiling and kind of clings to Yuu and Chiko.- I am sure everyone will make the right choice though…

Yuu Yanaihara: *He’s okay with whatever doesn’t lead to self-destruct, really. He’s fuckin’ dead. But he has established that double death is no bueno.*

Chiko Matsuoka: *It’s okay, we’re dead anyway. We had a meeting about this, remember? He called you guys with his special pot and spoon. In all honesty he really just wants everyone to get along but that probably won’t happen due to the fact that their situation is complicated as fuck. He sneaks a hand over to squeeze Yuu’s elbow in a calming, icepack alternative way of comfort.*

Sonya Ivanov: -OH RIGHT. Thats why everyone was hanging out, Sonya was late to that and had no idea what was really going on. Oh well. She still agrees that doubler death sucks a lot.  Don't do that kiddos.-

tsujiishinsuke.exe: I, u-uh, I wasn’t done! R-remember all that shit about Earth? Haha, more lies! Gosh, I’m just… the worst… but it’s okay! Wh-when we all get back to Earth together, there’ll… be an all expenses paid shopping trip! W-with your families, yeah? They’ll all, uh, be happy to see you, y’know! Just. The right button. Hit the right button. Please. *there may or may not be electronic tears in his eyes, and a horrifically nervous half-smile on his face; his franticness is still showing, but it’s obvious he’s down to his last. i-it’s gotta work, r-right?*

Pandora: *Pandora is smiling. She feels like she’s being avenged.*

Kaoru Hayashi: *She nods, trying to focus on Shinobu and not Shinsuke. Her heart is too big for this* Y-yeah of course Shinobu-chan! I’ll make sure you tell you everything…!

Chiko Matsuoka: *He reaches out in the direction of Pandora. Come join our… Sonya squoosh plus... elbow holding jam. To clarify, their conglomeration is what the jam is and Chiko does not actually have a physical jar of jam that he is trying to offer his dead bro. But that seems like him.*

Hayate Gacchiri: *he’s genuinely hesitant for quite a few seconds, surprisingly enough*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *Well, shit. She just sort of stares at Fumiko incredulously, giving her that same “What the fuck no you moron” look that she usually does when faced with such a request, but after a moment her expression softens and she sighs, glancing awkwardly off to the side.* Well, shit, I didn’t hold your goddamn hand through half of this Space Hell Extravaganza just to watch you and half the other people sitting on this tin can bite it from some mysterious infectious bullshit, so… *Oh god here we go. She pockets her card, then squares up to Fumiko and holy shit they’re exactly the same height isn’t someone supposed to be taller or something. She reaches up to rest one slightly unsteady hand on Fumiko’s shoulder. Ah, fuck, this isn’t gonna get anywhere. She leans in suddenly and presses her lips against Fumiko’s as firmly as she can without totally flipping the fuck out. Muah. Yurkies.*

Valu Nalak: *mumbles: dont spread a new disease guys*

Yoshiro Kimura: *Until now, ever since George returned and began talking, and all of those familiar faces showed up on screen, Yoshiro had basically ceased functioning.  He seemed to have at least been listening to some distant degree, but his eyes (which have yet to stop crying and shit) had been trained completely on the others visible onscreen. He only seems to finally come to after the screen has made it clear what their options to vote are, shaking his head and opening his mouth to speak*

Chiko Matsuoka: *Yeah, Chiko has not said anything to you because last time we talked it was kind of about murder and hiding the clothes in the FUCKING TOILET and anyway the ship’s about to explode dude you need to get with it.*

Fumiko Fujioka: *She is kissed. Wowee. She didn’t think Tekuro would actually do that. She pulls away a moment later.* I knew you’d do that. *And she presses the button. Which button? I forgot to write the left button.*

Tekuro Hamasaki: *SHE’S NOT BLUSHING YOU ARE BLUSHING EVERYONE IS BLUSHING BUT HER FUCK YOU.* Shut up. *She grumbles it under her breath, but looks happy that Fumiko pushed the left button.*

Hayate Gacchiri: * a deep breath, and then a sigh *  . . . I’ll be in your care. *he makes his decision, pressing a button on the ID*

Yoshiro Kimura: *taking a few seconds to actually speak, his voice is quiet, but audible enough. Who he’s talking to is completely unclear though, ID card rattling in his hands as he stares down at it at the choices*  ….I…. th… ink… I think I owe it… to a lot of people after.. everything, to at least… st-stay alive. As long as I can. I…. I’m not going to let anyone else die because of- of- of a choice I made…!  *Full-on trembling now and crying like an asshole, he seems to practically force himself to press the Left button, then starts openly sobbing again*

Kaoru Hayashi: *Still holding Shinobu’s hand firmly, she looks over to Yoshiro.* H-hey! Yoshiro-kun…! Y-you’ll be okay… Don’t w-worry! *She smiles*

Yoshiro Kimura: *He looks at Kaoru and tries to wipe his face to speak to her but fails. He appreciates it Kaoru*

Kaoru Hayashi: You too right? Y-you’ll be there when I wake up? *Lots of tears now on her face.*

Yoshiro Kimura: *he just nods while openly choking back even more pesky eyewater*

Valu Nalak: Well I sure seen enough of these shenanigans. *Casually tucks the ID in her pocket* Yoshiro quit crying, you’re making a scene in the bundle of other scenes right now.

Fumiko Fujioka: Vivienne-san, what did you press. *This is an important question, okay.*

Valu Nalak: Uhh one of them probably.

Fumiko Fujioka: I… see. *No she doesn’t.*

Yuu Yanaihara: *Bro no don’t cry. Bro...he waves again. Hey long time no see. Bro it’s cool they’re all gonna be okay now especially you so this is like a happy ending, right? Telepathy still works over dead different dimensions, right??*

Chiko Matsuoka: *Aw man don’t cry. He would wave but um… Well it’s kind of awkward between them probably now. Murder changes…. friendships… probably. Anyway Yoshiro is too busy crying and he doesn’t have an ice pack for him anyway.*

Yoshiro Kimura:  *In a surprising and almost comically Yoshiro-like fashion, he jolts and glares at Valu* Sh-Shut up!!  *It’s then that he sees Yuu waving at him and instantly breaks back into sobs, but waves back. He gets the telepathy bro he feels it. He is also seemingly waving at Chiko, but its open ended because he is crying so much!*

Toshishiro Haku: …...I… Even if the people I care about may be gone… You… My… Friends… Have lives of your own, and I shouldn’t let my own doubts get in the way of that fact. *He presses the button with a solemn expression, but looks back up at everyone with a small, weary smile.*

Shinobu Uetsuji: Sorry… Haku. But we’re in this together. Me. Hamasaki. Yoshiro n’ you. Somehow we’re gonna make this work. Gonna make everything better. I believe it, so you gotta, too.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: A-and… if you, err, hit the right button, there’ll be… world peace! Yes, it… it’s… *he falls silent, before falling into a session of inelegant blubbering* T-truce? C’mon, guys, please!

Sonya Ivanov: Yoshiro!! I hope my cape has been keeping you Warm! -She smiles brightly, she'd wave too except her arms are around Yuu and Chiko right now. Well, she moves one for a second to wave before putting it back-

Yoshiro Kimura:  *Sonya’s last wave and statement makes his eyes widen and he finally tears himself away from them with instilled confidence. He turns to actually face up at Shinsuke again and face him Directly for the first time since the trial began, or at least as directly as you can face a screen. He seems to have to muster up a glare through his crying face at him and he just speaks, louder than before*  ..I’-  I’m sorry, Shinsuke-kun...

[PAUSE]

THE SUBJECT BODY HAS VOTED UNANIMOUSLY. A RESOLUTION HAS BEEN REACHED. PLEASE TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE AN APPROPRIATELY RESOLUTIONARY SOUND EFFECT.

PAL-93093 WILL NOW BE SET TO STATUS: ADMINISTRATOR AND STATUS: HOST
TSUJIISHINSUKE.EXE HAS BEEN RECOGNIZED AS MALWARE, AND WILL BE DELETED.

tsujiishinsuke.exe: Ohhh my god, oh my god, please no, please, this wasn’t supposed to happen, it wasn’t supposed to FUCKING H-HAPPEN, I… *he’s sobbing almost hard enough to render his speech an inaudible mess. thank god he’s a computer program right now so that’s not an issue* I… y-you… YOU DID THIS TO ME! I-I could’ve been cured, YOU could have been cured if you’d just FUCKING LISTENED TO ME! We WOULD HAVE BEEN ON OUR WAY HOME BY NOW! But NO! You had to FUCKING RUIN EVERYTHING!! *it’s evident by now he’s throwing a literal temper tantrum, tears and all* I HATE YOU!! I HATE ALL OF YOU!!! You can’t get away with this, you fucking can’t, you CAN’T KILL ME--

TSUJII SHINSUKE HAS BEEN DELETED. THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN THIS STALEMATE RESOLUTION INITIATIVE.

You hear a distant sound, and if there was anyone on the observation deck they would catch sight of a metal pod, the still, serene face of Shinsuke Tsujii visible through the transparent window near the top.

The lights come back on, one by one. PAL-93093 appears on a screen, the dead students on others. If you were to go from this room to the observation deck, and take one last look down at the little blue marble that is the Earth, perhaps someone down there might be looking up at the vastness of space.

And perhaps that void is a little brighter with you up here, in orbit.

-- DANGAN ORBIT HAS ENDED. SELECT A SONG --
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(alt: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQByFjYczfE )
-- BELOW THIS LINE IS THE EPILOGUE SECTION OF THE DOC. YOU MAY CONTINUE ROLEPLAYING THERE OR IN THE CHAT IF YOU WISH. STAY TUNED FOR THE OFFICIAL DENOUEMENT DOC COMING. AT SOME POINT. --