Surface of the Sun, Part 4 (The Rising Sun)

"You did WHAT!?"
>Luna gives you a sheepish grin, her wings raising slightly at the volume of your outburst.
>"Anonymous, please...lower the volume of your voice...it is not a well known tale."
>You back away from her very, very slowly.
>"Anonymous, please! Do not be afraid!"
"It was an accident, right? The last butler was old?"
>"...He was old, yes."
"Did you trip him or something? He fell down? You did that show thing and he had a heart attack?"
>She still has that grin on, but it's become a little frozen, tacked on, even.
>"...No."
"So you mean you killed him by accident? Figuratively ki-"
>"I broke his neck and tossed him from a tower, Anon."
>Right.
>ABSCOND.
>You book it the fuck out of there, ignoring the confused stares of the ponies you pass in your hasty flight from the room.
>You hear the Princess' voice raise behind you as you flee.
>"ANONYMOUS, WAIT!"
>Nope.
>You should have listened to your inner Mon Calamari admiral.
>You KNEW it was a trap. It's ALWAYS a trap, Anon, ya dipshit!
>You scream like a little girl and slide to a stop as shadows fountain up from the floor in front of you.
>"ANONYMOUS! CALM YOURSELF!"
"FUCK NO. You're telling me you MURDERED the last guy who had my job!?"
>Luna has the decency to look ashamed.
>"I was...not myself, and he...I-I was misled, Anonymous. By a temptress."
"You...what? Look, Luna, I don't know WHAT happened, back then, but I-"
>She gives an exasperated sigh, and then her eyes start glowing.
>"WE HAVE HEARD ENOUGH. YOU WILL UNDERSTAND IN TIME."
>"NOW..."
>"S͞L͜ÉE҉P̨͟.̨͟"

The Next Morning.
>BEEP. BEEEP. BEEEP.
"FUCK."
>You flail and reach out with your hand for your alarm.
>Pesky, abominable things, alarms.
>You can't even get a good night's sleep without the cunting thing interrupting you and ruining your relaxation time.
>It's like the universe just doesn't want to let you relax.
>You try to reach for it and smash it with your fist, but you can't reach it for some reason.
>You swear you're going to just break the thing after this. Fuck waking up on time.
>You groan and roll out of your...cloud...bed...
>Oh.
>Oh.
>Right.
>You were the Royal Butler now.
>You had a bitchin' room.
>You also worked for the Immortal God Princesses that ruled Equestria.
>One of whom had a track record of killing Royal Butlers.
>You groan and put your head in your hands. You were gonna die.
>Especially if that FUCKING ALARM CLOCK KEPT BEEPING.
>You look up, suddenly full of anger.
>When you found that thing, you were going to dash it to p-
>There was no alarm clock.
>Your entire room was having a goddamn panic attack.
>The numbers 5:00 were flashing in bright red lettering above your head.
>You blinked, and looked at the letters.
>They rearranged themselves as you looked, into words.
>"WAKE THE UNDIMMED SUN. BEGIN SOLAR CYCLE."
"..."
>The letters flashed back into numbers, 5:01.
"...Are you fucking kidding me?"


>No, your magical wizard room was not fucking kidding you.
>It WAS five in the morning, and you WERE supposed to wake Celestia.
>You grimaced and started putting on pants as your room continued to shit noise pollution at you.
>You never should have accepted this job.
>Seriously, you didn't even ask how much you got PAYED?
>What the fuck were you thinking.
>You knew what you were thinking.
>You thought you were bored, jobless, and a beautiful princess had just asked you to work for her, personally.
>You were a fucking idiot.
>"WAKE THE SOLAR PRINCESS. SUN CYCLE STARTS IN-"
"YES, I GET IT MAGICAL ROOM WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP?"
>"NO."
"Fantastic."
>Oh well. At least you have nice duds to put on.
>You put on your shirt and tie, ignoring the continued bleating of the alarm above you.
>"WAKE CELESTIA WAKE CELESTIA WAKE CELE-"
"Shut the fuck UP."
>"I REFUSE."
>You put your jacket on and brush your hair. Can't be looking shitty befo-
>"CEASE GROOMING AND WAKE CELESTIA THE SUN MUST RISE."
>You roll your eyes.
"Okay, loud screaming magical douche-room, take me to Celesti-"
>"FINALLY. TRANSLATION IMMINENT."
"Trans-whaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH"
>You never thought you'd see the day when every molecule in your body exploded into pain at once.
>Today is that day.
>Your scream dies down to a horrid whimper you find yourself somewhere...else in the castle.
>Somewhere very dark.
>You look up, and see a massive, well-kept bed, with a large lump lying under it.
>The lump shifts as you stare, and you hear a voice from beneath the covers.
>"A...Anonymous?"


>She smiles softly at you before reaching a hoof out of the covers and patting a space beside her.
>"Come, sit."
"On the...bed?"
>"Of course, Anonymous. It is quite comfortable."
>A parade of warning signals go off in your brain, but you swiftly come to the realization that you don't give a fuck.
>You got woke up early, a beautiful princess is inviting you to her bed...
>Technically, but you'll go with a technicality.
>You make your way over to the bed and sit down, your legs hanging off the side as the Princess rises to a sitting position, sliding the covers off of her.
>For a few moments, the two of you just sit there, awkwardly.
>Were you a more honest man you'd comment on the amount of spaghetti brewing in your pockets.
>You are not an honest man.
>"...This is so...strange."
"What is, Princess?"
>"I...normally my schedule allows for only twenty minutes of free time, not accounting for meals, of course. And now...I'm up an hour early. An entire hour of free time."
>She examines her hooves.
>"I have not had such freedom in centuries."
>...Holy shit, Luna was NOT kidding.
"Really?"
>She looks up, as if shocked you had spoken.
>"Say again, Anonymous?"
"You only have twenty minutes a day?"
>"Oh...yes. I normally spend them..."
>Her eyes light up.
>"Oh, I've fallen behind on my stories! Twilight's friendship reports! What a perfect day to spend the morning!"
>Memories of a furious Lunar Princess hissing about letters flash across the inside of your eyes.
>"Oh, this will be such fun! I cannot tell you how many times Twilight has written about you, Anonymous. Especially after you began your relationship with-"
>You cough loudly.
>"Anon?"


>Gotta go about this smoothly. You really don't want to give Luna a reason to kill you.
"Princess...instead of...looking at letters, how about we...talk?"
>"T-talk? About what?"
>Your mind draws a blank.
>Immediately, you go to something your ex or one of her friends would say.
"How about ma-"
>Celestia looks down and lets out a deep, pained sigh.
>"Please do not say magic."
"Get that one alot, huh?"
>She looks up, as if surprised.
"...Did I say something offensive?"
>"No, it's...I...normally, when one of my subjects hears a negative from me...they become terrified or..."
"Princess, I've already tackled you to the ground in a crowded street. You haven't sent me to the moon or executed me yet. I figure you can't be as bad as the stories say."
>She giggles.
>An honest to God giggle, and it's...pretty adorable.
>That carefree laugh strips a few of those endless centuries from her, until she seems just like...a girl.
>After too short a time, she calms down.
>"No...I suppose I must not be. Anonymous, may I be frank with you?"
"Isn't that part of my job description, Princess?"
>She smiles, and you smirk back at her.
>"Of course. Anonymous...if I was what the stories made of me...those silly nicknames...'Tyrantlestia' and that other one..."
"Molestia?"
>She winces.
>"Yes."
"Sorry. It really is a terrible portrayal of you."
>"Perhaps, but...if I was so terrible...there would be no stories. And sometimes, I find myself wishing I was terrible enough to make it so."
>She looks down at her hooves again, and fiddles with them, as if it's a nervous habit.
"...Celestia?"
>"Do you think me horrible for such a desire?"
"No."
>She looks up.
>"Why?"


>She looks up from her hooves, her brow furrowed.
"Because..."
>She raises one eyebrow.
>"Because...?"
"I think it takes a person, a better ruler, to have horrible desires and suppress them, than to be one who has no such desires at all. You are insulted. Repeatedly. Behind your back. You got angry. That's a natural response."
>She gives you a soft smile.
>"That's kind of you, Anonymous. But I cannot afford natural responses."
>Without another word, Celestia rises from her plush bed, slipping off the other side into a set of golden shoes.
>...Luna's job was going to be harder than you thought.
"Princess?"
>"Come, Anon. We still have twenty minutes before my scheduled wake up time and the Raising."
>She trots towards the door, serene and graceful.
>Or, trying to be.
>You notice the stumble, the hesitance, the hurt.
>You get the sinking feeling that your last conversation had been important, and you'd said the exact wrong thing.
>She pauses at her doorway.
>"Anon? Are you coming?"
"Of course, Celestia. Where are we headed?"
>"Early breakfast. If my schedule is to begin so early, why not breakfast, as well? Care for some cakes and coffee?"
>Oh God ponies had coffee. You'd almost forgotten.
"YES."
>She raises an eyebrow as you rush to her side.
>"Well...someone's excited."
"Princess, I am a caffeine addict."
>She frowns.
>"Perhaps you shouldn't partake, the-"
"FORGET WHAT I JUST SAID NOW IS COFFEE TIME."
>She giggles again.
>"Ah. Well then. Follow me."


>Coffee.
>Wonderful, wonderful coffee.
>You and Celestia sat opposite each other at a long table.
>You had your steaming cup of black coffee in front of you, while Celestia sipped some cream-and-sugar abomination from a cup with the words "Best Princess" carved on it inside a yellow sun.
>Small, beautifully crafted cakes sit in front of her on a small plate.
>Every few moments, she'll hastily lift one, glance around for a few moments, and devour the entire thing.
"...Is there a reason you're being so careful with that cake, Celestia?"
>The Princess blushes and sips at her coffee.
>"I have a...certain weakness for cakes, Anonymous. It caused...quite the scandal in the news once I was found out."
"...Seriously?"
>She nods her head vigorously.
>"Oh yes. There was a miniature riot, bakers fearing that I hated their form of dessert, a weight scare, that kind of thing..."
"...That might be the dumbest thing I ever heard."
>Celestia chokes on her coffee, letting out a dainty cough.
>"Anonymous!"
"It is. Honestly. You hide what you like to eat out of fear? You RUN this place. And you're telling me you have to wake up early in the morning and coo-"
>"I don't cook them. I...haven't been near cooking implements in two thousand years."
"Wat."
>"It's...a certain chef who is reliable for his...discretion, leaves this out for me in the mornings."
"Celestia."
>"Yes, My Royal Butler?"
"You don't know how to cook?"
>"Well...no. Not really."
>Your face turns to stone.
>You have much to fix.
>No one doesn't know how to cook 'round Anon. Cooking is...cooking is life, damnit.
>"Anon?"
"Hmmm?"
>"Ready to watch me raise the Sun?"

Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ordR7PDWoYc&feature=player_detailpage#t=170s

>It's quiet, on the Castle grounds.
>The Princess holds her steaming mug of pretend sugar coffee in front of her, humming a light tune.
"How do you drink coffee with so much sugar?"
>"How do you manage it when it's just...black?"
"That's the way coffee should be."
>She rolls her eyes before taking another sip.
>"Luna feels the same way. I'll never understand black coffee. It's like sipping hot mud."
"Hot, ENERGIZING mud."
>She smiles at that, and then comes to a stop, sitting back on her haunches in the cool grass.
>You stop next to her, confused.
"I thought I was escorting you to raise the sun? Don't we need to go to that platform thing?"
>"Only for the Summer Sun Celebration. I prefer to do things...naturally on other days."
"Naturally?"
>She sips her coffee.
>"Watch."
"Watch wha-"
>Her horn glows.
>And you stop talking.
>You feel it in your bones.
>A low, earthy rumble, as if the earth itself is responding to her call.
>Not the stone, or the grass, or the leaves, or the wind on your face, but all of these things, and none of them.
>The pure, magical force of nature, of life itself, flows through you and into her.
>You can feel the amount of pure power she's exerting vibrate your spine, and set your legs to shaking.
>Celestia doesn't appear to be breaking a sweat.
>You fall to your knees.
>The first burst of light comes over the horizon.
>You feel it before you see it. The light, not just the reflection of it but the very ESSENCE of light itself, of sun, of heat, of fire, bursts into your vision.
>Is it any wonder that you wept?
>You, a mere man, against all the radiance and glory of the sun?


"...My God..."
>You feel, rather than see, Celestia smirk beside you.
>"Present."
>Your head whips to her, and she laughs.
>She has a beautiful laugh.
>It's like the sun and the light and the green, growing things, throaty and full of joy.
>"I was joking, Anonymous! I'm...no God, whatever some of my subjects may say."
"Could have fooled me..."
>"It is beautiful, isn't it."
>You nod your head silently, in awe at the sight before you.
>The sun, burning and incandescent and beautiful, hanging low in the morning sky.
>Grays and blacks bleed into red and rose and blue as the sky changes, as the sun rises.
>It burns there, at the center of the sky. It burns and it rages and it churns and it is beautiful.
>SHE is beautiful. Not the cold Princess, the almost-queen that her subjects aspire to emulate.
>She is the sun. Wild and untamed and glorious and joyful and achingly, ACHINGLY beautiful.
>Then the sun reaches the apex of it's rise, and the effect is lost.
>Celestia's eternal, motherly smile is firmly affixed in place.
>The sun is hiding, and the mask is back in place.
>You see it now.
>You see why Luna is concerned.
>The Celestia that pulled the sun into the sky was different then the Celestia who feared eating cakes where her subjects could see.
>And you had to bring that Celestia out into the light.
>She sips her coffee, unaware of your musings.
>"Perfect. Now, Anonymous, it's time to begin the day!"
"Didn't you just do that?"
>She smiles. No laugh, no giggle, just a wider smile.
>"I did. Now we must open Day Court. I will be available for my subjects until the sun falls again."
"And then?"
>"My 20 minutes of leisure time, and then sleep."


"...Princess."
>"Yes, Sir Anon?"
"...Sir?"
>"As the Royal Butler, you are to be granted your title at Court functions."
"...We aren't at Court."
>That horrible, dead, courteous smile is flashed again in your direction.
>"The day has begun, Sir Anon. From here until the moonrise, we are ALWAYS at court."
>She walks serenely towards the doors to the castle, while you stay behind.
>You stay behind and look at the sun. You remember the joy on her face when it rose, the wild abandon.
>And you make a decision.
"...Princess."
>"Yes, Si-"
"None of the 'Sir' shit."
>Damn her, she doesn't even flinch.
>She doesn't even STOP.
>"I'm afraid the title is traditional to use in Cou-"
"Celestia. You hired me to advise you, correct?"
>"Among other thi-"
"To be the questioning voice? The second guesser? You hired me to listen to me, right?"
>She comes to a stop and looks at you over her shoulder.
>"Well yes, of course. Where are you going with this, Sir Anon?"
"Celestia. I have something to tell you. As my first order of business as your advisor, butler, vizier, and...friend."
>She stiffens a bit at the last one, but you press on.
"You need a vacation more than anyone I have ever met in my entire life."
>Her brows furrow, and you press on.
"Twenty minutes of free time? Really? Every day? For centuries? It's a wonder you're still sane. You're getting out. Taking a vacation. Even if it's just a day. We start tonight."
>Finally, a real smile.
>"Even if I were to acquiesce to this brazen demand, what would we do, Anonymous?"
>You look at her with the most serious expression you can muster, and you tell her...
"Princess Celestia of Equestria...we're going to a nightclub."