It will be okay..

Happy thoughts Tyler, happy ones. She wants to be friends, I want to be friends, I won't lose her in my life, and it'll be a process but my love for her will be as friends only. She understands all my pain, she understands my BPD better, while yes it'll be a process, I'll slowly make it up to her and she'll be happy. I will slowly climb out of depression to make her happy. I will get this summer job and go see her next year. She will invite me to come play OCE arams with her, of her own will not because I ask. She will say good morning to me every so often. She will stop and say "How are you doing Tyler? I care about you and I'm worried." I will stop being like this. I will stop having flip floppy moods. I will be happy.. I can be happy. I don't want to die, I want to see her live life so badly and see her smile and be there for her special events and see her on her wedding day and maybe just let her know "What you feel for him is what I feel for you, tenfold." I will be okay, her and I will stay friends. I will get medicine and be calmer. I wouldn't have this bpd issue if her and I just talked... so many times we could have just talked and made everything okay.

It will be okay Tyler..
[edit: YES LETS THINK LIKE THIS.]