So, earlier today one of my good friends Facebook messaged me a link to a tumblr post along with the message “da fuckk?” When I clicked on the link, and read the headline, I was at a loss for words. “Harry Corrigan from long Island bands is a sexual assaulter.” I was at a loss because this just isn’t true. I’m letting you know beforehand that some of the details I write in this post are explicit, but, I’m going to recount exactly what happened on the night of July 23rd, 2012.
We were playing a show in Kent, Ohio at the Euro Gyro. During one of the opening bands I went outside and met a girl who was smoking a cigarette. We got to talking and soon enough realized we had a lot in common. We hung out for most of the show talking about music, bands, etc., and at one point later in the night, after we played, I asked her if she wanted to go to my band’s van to watch a video. After sitting there watching the video for a couple of minutes we started making out, for about 5 minutes.  Then she started to rub her hand on my penis, over my pants. The situation progressed from there and she started giving me a handjob. After about 2 minutes of that, I gave her a slight nudge to indicate that I wanted her to perform oral sex on me. She turned to me and said “I don’t want to do that. I don’t know you that well.” I replied with “okay,” and we continued to make out, and she continued to give me a handjob until I finished. When I went back inside the venue, a couple of my friends from the other bands were fake cheering to mess with me a little. I understand that this is really lame to do but guys just do that type of stuff sometimes. After leaving the van, the guy who was doing sound (and who I later found out was the one that gave the girl a ride to the show) called me a scumbag. I replied with “dude what are you talking about I don’t even know you” and walked away. Me and this girl continued to talk and hang out throughout the evening.  The next day I texted the girl “hey, whats up” in the hopes that we could maybe keep in touch. She replied with “fuck you.” I was confused. I don’t remember exactly what she texted me but it was along the lines of: “I didn’t want to do anything with you last night” “you’re an asshole” “I never want to speak to you again” then she told me to delete her from my phone and never talk to her again. I was really confused and honestly bummed out because I didn’t know what I did wrong, but I deleted her from my phone.
Fast forward a year later: We had just announced a tour on POZ, which is hosted on tumblr. Most of the responses were pretty normal: “This is cool,” people reblogging it, etc. But one of the posts read “recently heard some gross stories of one of the members of Bellwether sexually assaulting someone.” We were obviously confused and taken aback by this, so we looked into it. Christian Holden, who plays guitar and sings in The Hotel Year, blogged about talking to someone in Kent, Ohio, who said that someone in Bellwether sexually assaulted their friend. I later found out that it was the sound guy I mentioned earlier, who was the one that Christian talked to. We immediately tried to get in touch with Christian and get to the bottom of what he was talking about. I realized I was the only person who was hanging out with a girl in Kent, so he must be talking about me, but I know I didn’t assault anyone, so again, we were confused. Christian explained that he hadn’t actually spoken to the girl, but had heard a story and felt that it was his duty to let people know what happened. Noble as this might seem, with heavy accusations like sexual assault its best to get all of the details and facts before you post something on the internet. Because I knew nothing bad had happened, Christian heard it from some dude, without knowing any of the details besides “this a thing that happened,” and because Christian wasn’t directly involved in this alleged assault at all, it was a difficult situation to address because it didn’t appear very credible, as it was hearsay, and stated in pretty much the vaguest form possible.
Fast forward another 6 months and our manager, Jake, got a lengthy message from Christian that explained he had talked to the girl, and she was very upset, and that he should kick us off of all his upcoming shows and our tour in December. Jake showed me this, and again, was very confused because I didn’t feel that I had done anything wrong. So, I hit up Christian and this girl via Facebook chat and asked them what was going on. She didn’t respond. He proceeded to send me the story he had gotten from this girl. A lot of things she said were not at all what I remembered happening, and they were very graphic and gross, and I wouldn’t wish them upon any woman. I told Christian that that’s not at all what happened, but he had already written me off as someone who had sexually assaulted a young woman. He wrote “She doesn’t want to talk to you about it. Hold yourself accountable for what you did or other people will. Understand that you fucked up and are a threat to other people’s well-being, and act accordingly. thazzit”
I again try to get in touch with her, with no response. In this situation I understand that it is a lot easier to take the side of the victim and call me a scumbag. Even though I know what went down that night, the fact of the matter is I didn’t know that girl and she didn’t know me. We all have different boundaries when it comes to sex and if she felt uncomfortable with something I did, I am truly sorry. But, what is clear to me, is that nothing I did would constitute me being accused of sexual assault. I didn’t force her to do anything, and when confronted with a “no” in response to a sexual suggestion, I did what all of us should do, and backed off. While this situation is obviously a bad one, for all parties involved, it is unfortunate that this topic of discussion comes up in instances such as this. Me, personally, and Bellwether, as a band, have always prescribed to the belief that, especially within our music scene, having discussions about boundaries, consent, and general etiquette when it comes to sex are very important to ensure that all people feel safe and are treated with respect, and hopefully a productive discussion about those things can come about as a result of this situation, so that we all have a better understanding of how to respect ourselves, as well as others.
thank you for reading
-Harry