End of day 4

>you all pile into the car, rainbow dash holding Lyra in her lap
>you pull out, only to find the horde of priuses has spread out in a manhunt
>looks like your trophy case is going to be pretty full soon
>you peel down the road, the convergence of neckbeards following you
"Hold on tight!"
>you pull on to the highway, bobbing and weaving your way through the traffic
>your car vastly outstrips the prisus shits in terms of speed and maneuverability
>fuck yeah
>the horde causes a bumper to bumper traffic jam behind you
>one Prius gets through
>you have a feeling who drives it
>suddenly a van pulls in front of you
>fuck scruffy
>you see an on ramp ahead
>scruffy drops behind you in another lane
>somehow you hear a push broom through the engine noises around you
>the Prius dissapears
>looks like neckbeards get erased first
>thank you scruffy
>did you just say that?
>what is your life
>you make it to the on ramp, and make your way to your apartment
>gotta find a way to handle the landlord before you get caught
>but until then...
>you have a meal to prepare
"Are you guys OK with eating seafood?"
>Rainbow Dash: "like fish?"
"Shrimp to be exact"
>mane six: "sure?"
>lyra: "shrimp? I love shrimp!"
>good, spicy shrimp pasta was a favorite of yours, like normal spaghetti, but better
>http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/spicy-shrimp---peppers-with-pasta
>a little while later, the table is set
"Dig in everyone"
>they love it
>a part of you questions the morality of turning vegetarians into omnivores, but pass it off when you remember horses are opportunistic omnivores
>the dinner conversation finally turns back to what happened at the mall
>you had already decided to just show them the show and the terrible documentary on Netflix
>but first, explaining the autism
>RD: so why did you flip out when that fat guy was with AJ?
"That fat guy was going to attempt to get into AJ's pants"
>AJ: "ya mean he was gunna try to have... Sex? With me?"
>you sigh
"Yes"
>AJ: well shucks, you coulda just let me handle him then
"You saw how many cars were following us, right?"
>mane 6: "yeah..."
"Could you fight all of them at once?"
>AJ: "No..."
"There's a thing here called rape, are you familiar with the term?"
>horror on every face at the table
>yep, they know what rape is
"Do you see why I had to get you all out of there?"
>they all shudder
>TS: "yes, and I'll be the first to thank you, but you still haven't explained how half the world knows of our exploits back home"
>time to show them the magic
"Is everyone finished with dinner?"
>plates are clean
>you walk over to the TV and turn on your Xbone
>you regretted that decision, but that wasn't important now
>you set it to Netflix
>pulling up the first episode
>here goes nothing
>play
>RD: that song... Was terrible
>intro always sucked
>you do the dishes while they watch the show
>you finish up just as the credits roll
>time for the shitstorm
>TS: "how did they... Get this information?"
>you shrug
"dimensional leakage in the form of information? I don't know"
>RR: "well however they got this information, it was horribly mangled in the process, I have NEVER been that plump"
>you chuckle
>that was exactly what you expected from her
>TS: besides... That fact, this is pretty accurate information, I would love to see the rest of this, although... I don't think I'll be able to handle seeing my old tree for much longer..."
>shit
>you did NOT order those feels with your ponies
"Maybe just one more episode for tonight then"
>you all sit and watch the season premiere, part deux
>oh god the nostolga
>it hurts
>by the end Twilight looks ready to cry
>fuck no, you don't need that right now
>time to show them the horrors of the fandom
>you swap it over to that terrible documentary
>you'll regret this later, but it does well to explain the stereotypical neckbeards that you lost earlier today
>you hope the hive mind doesn't have a black hat in the mix that can find you
>you almost laugh
>you were really getting paronoid if you were afraid of the spooky scary hackers
>the documentary is still terrible, but whatever
>you go to the fridge and pull out your prize from the last escapade you did with your old friends
>a big old bottle of bourbon
>perfect
>you pull out your shot glasses
>then decide there is enough for all of you to get a whole glass
>this might be a mistake...
>shaddup voice of reason, there are seven ponies in this house and six of them have been humanized, and one of them became my girlfriend
>you pass out the bourbon
"You guys know what this is correct?"
>they all nod
>AJ: "it's booze"
"Are you all OK with getting shitfaced and going to bed?"
>nods all around
>FS: "I-I don't drink much..."
"Relax, it's only one cup of whiskey, it won't kill you"
>you'll regret this in the morning...
>but who cares, it's Saturday, tomorrow you can chill and wait out the hangover, then you can try to feed scruffy more neckbeards to get him on your side on Monday
>you raise your glass
"To friendship"
>all: to friendship
>Lyra is using magic to levitate her glass
>wait
>she can magic
>finding the portal might be easier than you thought
>but that's Monday, for now, you have some drinking to do
>the bourbon wasn't the only alcohol you had stored away from your escapades
>time to break the liquor locker wide open
>you bust out the cider
>might as well pull the mead out too
>you come back loaded with alcohol
>RD is already tipsy
>Twilight looks like she didn't even drink, but her cup is empty
>AJ seems to have drank hers like a champ
>pinkiepie is giggling with the cup in her hand
>Fluttershy is just sipping it
>rarity is treating it like fine wine
>Lyra...
>where is Lyra?
>a fuzzy thing tackles you from behind
>there she is
>you pull Lyra off your back
>L: sorry, I just saw a glllimpssse of your hand and I hassss to have it!
>holy shit she's wasted
>pony anatomy must hate alcohol
"OK Lyra, how about I let you have my hand if you lay down on the couch?"
>you motion to Twi and RD to make room for you two
>your starting to feel a buzz yourself
>Lyra hops up and starts nuzzling your hand
>it's kinda adorable
>she's it for the count a few minutes later
>you regain your hand
>that's one problem taken care of now
>PP: "hey... You guys wanna watch more of that show?"
>why the fuck not, drunk pone is best pone
"Sssure, I'll set it up"
>shit...
>your speech...
>and your thoughts...
>are slow as...
>balls
>might...
>be time....
>to hit...
>the sack.
"On ssssecond thhhought, I'm tired as fuck, I'm gonna go to sssleep"
>you are...
>going to...
>regret this...
>in the morning.
>you flop into bed
>and pass out
End of the fourth day.