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Little Red Riding Swain

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Feb 7th, 2013
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  1. Brand: his biography says so.
  2. 7 Feb 13, 06:17 AM
  3. Brand: this is true and a fact.
  4. 7 Feb 13, 06:17 AM
  5. Brand: Swain became a cripple when he kicked a dragon to death with his hands tied behind his back.
  6. 7 Feb 13, 06:17 AM
  7. Brolaf: That's the second part of the story.
  8. 7 Feb 13, 06:17 AM
  9. Brand: ALL OF IT
  10. 7 Feb 13, 06:17 AM
  11. Swain: *bawls*
  12. 7 Feb 13, 06:16 AM
  13. Brand: Liiiiiies.
  14. 7 Feb 13, 06:16 AM
  15. Swain: And my mom is dead. DEAD.
  16. 7 Feb 13, 06:16 AM
  17. Lady Amarills: Mr.Swain is an Ionian
  18. 7 Feb 13, 06:15 AM
  19. Brand: FAKE
  20. 7 Feb 13, 06:15 AM
  21. Brolaf: I never said you were.
  22. 7 Feb 13, 06:15 AM
  23. Swain: imeanwat
  24. 7 Feb 13, 06:15 AM
  25. Swain: Lies. I wasn't even born Noxian.
  26. 7 Feb 13, 06:15 AM
  27. Master Yi: *clap clap clap*
  28. 7 Feb 13, 06:14 AM
  29. Master Yi: BRAVO, BRAVO
  30. 7 Feb 13, 06:14 AM
  31. Brolaf: And that, children, is the story of how Swain became crippled and the Democrats won the election.
  32. 7 Feb 13, 06:14 AM
  33. Master Yi: Demacian gangbang
  34. 7 Feb 13, 06:14 AM
  35. Brolaf: Swain fell to the ground, crying, as the two Demacians high fived and ran back toward Demacia.
  36. 7 Feb 13, 06:14 AM
  37. Brand: Also, this story is silly. Swain would own Jarvan's face off. Little or not.
  38. 7 Feb 13, 06:13 AM
  39. Swain: :c
  40. 7 Feb 13, 06:13 AM
  41. Brolaf: As he passed through the door, however, Garen burst out of a bush and kicked him in the shin.
  42. 7 Feb 13, 06:13 AM
  43. Brand: It was a very large box.
  44. 7 Feb 13, 06:13 AM
  45. Brolaf: Swain frled from the house. He would form a plan and defeat his hated enemy.
  46. 7 Feb 13, 06:12 AM
  47. Brolaf: It was pointless, though. Jarvan was simply too strong.
  48. 7 Feb 13, 06:12 AM
  49. Master Yi: How is it possible to stuff such a big man inside a box?
  50. 7 Feb 13, 06:12 AM
  51. Brolaf: "NO!" Swain launched himself at Jarvan and attempted to punch every inch of him that he could reach.
  52. 7 Feb 13, 06:12 AM
  53. Brolaf: Jarvan cackled and said, "I stuffed him in a box and sent him to the Shadow Isles!"
  54. 7 Feb 13, 06:11 AM
  55. Brolaf: swain let out a cry. "What have you done with Darius?!"
  56. 7 Feb 13, 06:11 AM
  57. Brolaf: The figure turned, and Swain found himself staring into the face of none other than Jarvan IV.
  58. 7 Feb 13, 06:10 AM
  59. Brolaf: "TURN AND FACE ME, HAND OF NOXUS."
  60. 7 Feb 13, 06:10 AM
  61. Brolaf: Swain was suspicious.
  62. 7 Feb 13, 06:10 AM
  63. Brolaf: "All the better to poke you with, my friend!"
  64. 7 Feb 13, 06:09 AM
  65. Brolaf: "Darius, what's wrong with your axe? It's all... pointy."
  66. 7 Feb 13, 06:09 AM
  67. Brolaf: "Oh, this? It's.... so I can see better in this dimly lit house!"
  68. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  69. Brolaf: "Darius, why's your armor different? It's all... gold."
  70. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  71. Master Yi: Shy, don't interrupt the mastermind
  72. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  73. Brand: NO SWAIN DON'T DO IT
  74. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  75. Brolaf: "I told you not to do that!" He looked over his best friend, and realized something.
  76. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  77. Shyvana: sthap..
  78. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  79. Shyvana: Brolaf..
  80. 7 Feb 13, 06:08 AM
  81. Brolaf: "What's wrong, Darius? You sound different! Have you been eating roofing shingles again?"
  82. 7 Feb 13, 06:07 AM
  83. Brolaf: "Hellooooooooo, Swain!" Darius still did not turn to face him.
  84. 7 Feb 13, 06:07 AM
  85. Brolaf: "Hi, Darius!" Swain tittered as he approached his friend.
  86. 7 Feb 13, 06:06 AM
  87. Brolaf: "The door's open, Swain!" Swain turned the knob and saw Darius with his back turned.
  88. 7 Feb 13, 06:06 AM
  89. Brolaf: But Swain shrugged back and called, "It's Swain!"
  90. 7 Feb 13, 06:05 AM
  91. Brolaf: He preferred angry grunting over all else.
  92. 7 Feb 13, 06:05 AM
  93. Brolaf: Odd, Darius never called in a sing song voice.
  94. 7 Feb 13, 06:05 AM
  95. Brolaf: "Who is it~?" sang a voice that sounded like Darius.
  96. 7 Feb 13, 06:05 AM
  97. Brolaf: He eventually arrived at Darius' house, and he politely knocked on the door three times.
  98. 7 Feb 13, 06:04 AM
  99. Brolaf: He continued skipping down the streets.
  100. 7 Feb 13, 06:03 AM
  101. Brolaf: The cakes soon lost his attention as he remembered the muffins in the basket.
  102. 7 Feb 13, 06:03 AM
  103. Brolaf: Being delicious wasn't a crime, after all.
  104. 7 Feb 13, 06:03 AM
  105. Brolaf: He could not for the life of him imagine what the cake had done wrong.
  106. 7 Feb 13, 06:02 AM
  107. Brolaf: That, and a woman with purple hair and greyish skin yelling at a cake.
  108. 7 Feb 13, 06:02 AM
  109. Master Yi: (Swain is so cute <3)
  110. 7 Feb 13, 06:02 AM
  111. Brolaf: Along with numerous cakes and pastries, he saw many customers.
  112. 7 Feb 13, 06:01 AM
  113. Swain: (But my mom already made me muffins. I'm not that much of a chub.)
  114. 7 Feb 13, 06:01 AM
  115. Brolaf: He pressed his face to the window to look at the wondrous cakes inside.
  116. 7 Feb 13, 06:01 AM
  117. Brolaf: He passed by a bakery, and couldn't help himself.
  118. 7 Feb 13, 06:00 AM
  119. Brolaf: Swain continued down the streets, skipping merrily.
  120. 7 Feb 13, 06:00 AM
  121. Brolaf: The muffins would get cold, after all.
  122. 7 Feb 13, 06:00 AM
  123. Brolaf: "What a stupid mohawk." the man thought to himself, but Swain did not linger for long.
  124. 7 Feb 13, 06:00 AM
  125. Brolaf: The man leered down at the young Swain as he peered at the merchandise.
  126. 7 Feb 13, 05:59 AM
  127. Master Yi: Nooooo Sivir is gone D:
  128. 7 Feb 13, 05:59 AM
  129. Brolaf: He wandered over to the vendor, a man in a purple cape.
  130. 7 Feb 13, 05:59 AM
  131. Brolaf: He saw a vendor on the side of the street selling switchblades.
  132. 7 Feb 13, 05:58 AM
  133. Brolaf: As he skipped through the dimly lit streets of Noxus, however, he forgot his promise.
  134. 7 Feb 13, 05:58 AM
  135. Brolaf: Swain waved at his mother, indicating he wouldn't.
  136. 7 Feb 13, 05:58 AM
  137. Brolaf: "Don't go into the ghetto, and don't talk to any strangers!"
  138. 7 Feb 13, 05:57 AM
  139. Brolaf: As he did, his mother called after him.
  140. 7 Feb 13, 05:57 AM
  141. Master Yi: Shh, he's getting to that part
  142. 7 Feb 13, 05:57 AM
  143. Brolaf: Once the basket was packed, Swain kissed his mother goodbye and skipped off down the road.
  144. 7 Feb 13, 05:56 AM
  145. Brolaf: So she packed a basket for Swain and Darius full of muffins, birdseed and whetstones.
  146. 7 Feb 13, 05:56 AM
  147. Brand: But what about the big bad Jarvan that stalks the woods?
  148. 7 Feb 13, 05:56 AM
  149. Brolaf: Swain's mother said it was a good idea.
  150. 7 Feb 13, 05:56 AM
  151. Master Yi: Aww, how cute
  152. 7 Feb 13, 05:55 AM
  153. Brolaf: One day, Swain asked his mother if he could visit his friend Darius.
  154. 7 Feb 13, 05:55 AM
  155. Brolaf: For no reason in particular.
  156. 7 Feb 13, 05:55 AM
  157. Brolaf: In spite of his peculiar hairstyle and avian companion, they called him Little Red Riding Swain.
  158. 7 Feb 13, 05:55 AM
  159. Spooks: :V
  160. 7 Feb 13, 05:55 AM
  161. Spooks: 4chanface.jpg
  162. 7 Feb 13, 05:54 AM
  163. Swain: ~_~
  164. 7 Feb 13, 05:54 AM
  165. Brolaf: He loved to play with his bird.
  166. 7 Feb 13, 05:54 AM
  167. Brolaf: Once, there was a littlbe boy who lived in the city of Noxus.
  168. 7 Feb 13, 05:54 AM
  169. Brand: It's Jayce.
  170. 7 Feb 13, 05:54 AM
  171. Brand: Then they have probably had enough.
  172. 7 Feb 13, 05:54 AM
  173. Master Yi: Staroo is Jayce, so guess who this is :3
  174. 7 Feb 13, 05:53 AM
  175. Brand: Unless they are dead.
  176. 7 Feb 13, 05:53 AM
  177. Brand: nobody has ever had enough Vodka.
  178. 7 Feb 13, 05:53 AM
  179. Brolaf: This one's called "Little Red Riding Swain."
  180. 7 Feb 13, 05:53 AM
  181. Victus: I think you have not had enough Vodka this evening
  182. 7 Feb 13, 05:53 AM
  183. Brolaf: Okay, bedtime story... bedtime story....
  184. 7 Feb 13, 05:53 AM
  185. Brolaf: Hm.
  186. 7 Feb 13, 05:52 AM
  187. Swain: It isn't.
  188. 7 Feb 13, 05:52 AM
  189. Brolaf: I feel like iti s.
  190. 7 Feb 13, 05:52 AM
  191. Brolaf: Is this Staroo I'm talking to?
  192. 7 Feb 13, 05:52 AM
  193. Master Yi: But Moby, you make the best original bedtime stories ever
  194. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  195. Brolaf: :I
  196. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  197. Brolaf: IT'S ALREADY HAPPENING.
  198. Swain: I did not tell a soul.
  199. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  200. Brolaf: They will expect bedtime sto- SEE?
  201. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  202. Swain: You just shouted it for all the world to hear! :c
  203. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  204. Brolaf: They must not know that I am Lolaf.
  205. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  206. Lady Amarills: :)
  207. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  208. Master Yi: MOBY I WANT A BEDTIME STORY
  209. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  210. Brolaf: My identity.
  211. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  212. Swain: That you want me?
  213. 7 Feb 13, 05:51 AM
  214. Swain: Promised you no one would know what?
  215. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  216. Master Yi: *Amarills
  217. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  218. Brolaf: Swain, you promised me nobody would know.
  219. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  220. Master Yi: Point amaryllis
  221. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  222. Victus: One of my friends I play LoL with thinks I'm bonkers for Rping
  223. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  224. Swain: *hides behind Brand*
  225. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  226. Master Yi: And I see your
  227. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  228. Brolaf: How do you know who I am?
  229. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  230. Brolaf: Wha-
  231. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  232. Master Yi: Tell us a bedtime story :c
  233. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  234. Swain: Oh.
  235. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  236. Master Yi: It's Möbius
  237. 7 Feb 13, 05:50 AM
  238. Master Yi: Omg
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