"These allegations are absolutely ludicrous!" shouts Microcosm CEO Chastity Longbottom from the window of a 90-foot stretch limo. "Just because rival companies are incapable of producing products as brilliant as mine is no reason to punish ME! I say it's high time we abolish these idiotic antitrust laws and give big business the freedom to serve the public better. After all, I'm in this business for the people!"

"Microcosm must be shut down immediately," argues CEO of Computers, Computers, Computers! Billy-Bob Lee from the window of a clunky, exhaust-choked used car. "I can't get a foothold to compete in the market because those bigwigs in Microcosm have that foothold by the throat! It's high time the government stepped in and helped out the little guy, and the best way to do that is by stopping corporations from growing so big they get a stranglehold on the market!"

"Verily, I say unto thee, none of this would have happened wouldst thou not have stopped the problem before thou didst start it," argues Brother Barack True of the Chostea Amish community from out the window of his horse-drawn carriage. "We must doest as the Lord commandeth and abolishest the evils of computers and the Internet entirely. Only whenst we harken unto the Lord's commandments mayeth we truly be spiritually blessed."