zerah- part 3 final

WINDMILL

ZERAH
There it is, Princess. Your future awaits you.

CANDY
That's DuLoc?

ZORA
Yeah, I know. You know, Zerah thinks Lord Zahroza's compensating for something, which I think means he has a really...(Zerah steps on his hoof) Ow!

ZERAH
Um, I, uh- - I guess we better move on.

CANDY
Sure. But, Zerah? I'm - - I'm worried about Zora.

ZERAH
What?

CANDY
I mean, look at her. She doesn't look so good.

ZORA
What are you talking about? I'm fine.


CANDY
(kneels to look her in the eyes) That's what they always say, and then next thing you know, you're on your back. (pause) Dead.

ZERAH
You know, she's right. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?

CANDY
Uh, you know, I'll make you some tea.


ZORA
I didn't want to say nothin', but I got this twinge in my neck, and when I turn my head like this, look, (turns her neck in a very sharp way until her head is completely sideways) Ow! See?


ZERAH
Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.


CANDY
I'll get the firewood.

ZORA
Hey, where you goin'? Oh, man, I can't feel my toes! (looks down and yelps) I don't have any toes! I think I need a hug.

SUNSET

Zerah has built a fire and is cooking the rest of dinner while Candy eats.

CANDY
Mmm. This is good. This is really good. What is this?

ZERAH
Uh, weed rat. Rotisserie style.

CANDY
No kidding. Well, this is delicious.


ZERAH
Well, they're also great in stews. Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a mean weed rat stew. (chuckles)

Candy looks at DuLoc and sighs.

CANDY
I guess I'll be dining a little differently tomorrow night.

ZERAH
Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime. I'll cook all kind of stuff for you. Swamp toad soup, fish eye tartare - - you name it.

CANDY
(smiles) I'd like that.

They smile at each other.

ZERAH
Um, Princess?

CANDY
Yes, Zerah?

ZERAH
I, um, I was wondering...are you...(sighs) Are you gonna eat that?

ZORA
(chuckles) Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.

CANDY
(jumps up) Sunset? Oh, no! I mean, it's late. I-It's very late.

ZERAH
What?

ZORA
Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here. You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?

CANDY
Yes! Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know, I'd better go inside.

ZORA
Don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until - - Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.

Zerah sighs

CANDY
Good night.

ZERAH
Good night.

Candy goes inside the windmill and closes the door. Zora looks at Zerah with a new eye.

ZORA
Ohh! Now I really see what's goin' on here.

ZERAH
Oh, what are you talkin' about?

ZORA
I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts. And I know you two were diggin' on each other. I could feel it.

ZERAH
You're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Zahroza.

ZORA
Oh, come on, Zerah. Wake up and smell the pheromones. Just go on in and tell her how you feel.

ZERAH
I- - There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that, well, you know - - and I'm not sayin' I do 'cause I don't - - she's a princess, and I'm - -

ZORA
A Promethean?

ZERAH
Yeah. A Promethean.

ZORA
Hey, where you goin'?

ZERAH
To get... move firewood. (sighs)

Zora looks over at the large pile of firewood there already is.

TIME LAPSE

Zora opens the door to the Windmill and walks in. Candy is nowhere to be seen.

ZORA
Princess? Princess Candy? Princess, where are you? Princess?

Candy looks at Zora from the shadows, but we can't see her.


ZORA
It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.

Suddenly Candy falls from the railing. She gets up only she doesn't look like herself. She looks like a Promethean and Zora starts freaking out.

ZORA
Aah!

CANDY
Oh, no!

ZORA
No, help!

CANDY
Shh!

ZORA
Zerah! Zerah! Zerah!

CANDY
No, it's okay. It's okay.

ZORA
What did you do with the princess?


CANDY
Zora, I'm the princess.

ZORA
Aah!

CANDY
It's me, in this body.

ZORA
Oh, my God! You ate the princess. (to her stomach) Can you hear me?

CANDY
Zora!

ZORA
(still aimed at her stomach) Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!

CANDY
No!

ZORA
Zerah! Zerah! Zerah!

CANDY
Shh.

ZORA
Zerah!

CANDY
This is me.

Zora looks into her eyes as she pets her muzzle, and she quietsdown.

ZORA
Princess? What happened to you? You're, uh, uh, uh, different.

CANDY
I'm ugly, okay?

ZORA
Well, yeah! Was it something you ate? 'Cause I told Zerah those rats was a bad idea. You are what you eat, I said. Now - -

CANDY
No. I - - I've been this way as long as I can remember.

ZORA
What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.

CANDY
It only happens when sun goes down. "By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm... until you find true love's first kiss... and then take love's true form."

ZORA
Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.

CANDY
It's a spell. (sigh) When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night I become this. This horrible, ugly beast! I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. That's why I have to marry Lord Zahroza tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me like this. (begins to cry)

ZORA
All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly. But you only look like this at night. Zerah's ugly 24-7.

CANDY
But Zora, I'm a princess, and this is not how a princess is meant to look.


ZORA
Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Zahroza?

CANDY
I have to. Only my true love's kiss can break the spell.

ZORA
But, you know, um, you're kind of a Promethean, and Zerah - - well, you got a lot in common.

CANDY
Zerah?

OUTSIDE

Zerah is walking towards the windmill with a sunflower in his hand.

ZERAH
(to himself) Princess, I - - Uh, how's it going, first of all? Good? Um, good for me too. I'm okay. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and - - well, I don't really like it, but I thought you might like it 'cause you're pretty. But I like you anyway. I'd - - uh, uh...(sighs) I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.

He walks up to the door and pauses outside when he hears Zora and Candy talking.

CANDY
(os) I can't just marry whoever I want. Take a good look at me, Zora. I mean, really, who can ever love a beast so hideous and ugly? "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together. That's why I can't stay here with Zerah.

Zerah steps back in shock.

                                     CANDY
(os) My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.


Zerah heaves a deep sigh. He throws the flower down and walks away.

INSIDE

CANDY
Don't you see, Zora? That's just how it has to be. It's the only way to break the spell.

ZORA
You at least gotta tell Zerah the truth.


CANDY
No! You can't breathe a word. No one must ever know.

ZORA
What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?

CANDY
Promise you won't tell. Promise!

ZORA
All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should. (goes outside) I just know before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy. Look at my eye twitchin'.

Candy comes out the door and watches him walk away. She looks down and spots the sunflower. She picks it up before going back inside the windmill.

MORNING

Zora is asleep. Zerah is nowhere to be seen. Candy is still awake. She is plucking petals from the sunflower.

CANDY
I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him, I tell him not. I tell him. (she quickly runs to the door and goes outside) Zerah! Zerah, there's something I want...(she looks and sees the rising sun, and as the sun crests the sky she turns back into a human.)

Just as she looks back at the sun she sees Zerah stomping towards her.

CANDY
Zerah. Are you all right?

ZERAH
Perfect! Never been better.

CANDY
I - - I don't - - There's something I have to tell you.

ZERAH
You don't have to tell me anything, Princess. I heard enough last night.


CANDY
You heard what I said?

ZERAH
Every word.

CANDY
I thought you'd understand.

ZERAH
Oh, I understand. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?"


CANDY
But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.

ZERAH
Yeah? Well, it does. (Candy looks at him in shock. He looks past her and spots a group approaching.) Ah, right on time. Princess, I've brought you a little something.

Zahroza has arrived with a group of his men. He looks very regal sitting up on his horse. You would never guess that he's only like 3 feet tall. Zora wakes up with a yawn as the soldiers march by.

ZORA
What'd I miss? What'd I miss? (spots the soldiers) (muffled) Who said that? Couldn't have been the fox.

ZAHROZA
Princess Candy.

ZERAH
As promised. Now hand it over.

ZAHROZA
Very well, Promethean. (holds out a piece of paper) The deed to your swamp, cleared out, as agreed. Take it and go before I change my mind. (Zerah takes the paper) Forgive me, Princess, for startling you, but you startled me, for I have never seen such a radiant beauty before. I'm Lord Zahroza.

CANDY
Lord Zahroza? Oh, no, no. (Zahroza snaps his fingers) Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying a short... (Watches as Zahroza is lifted off his horse and set down in front of her. He comes to her waist.) farewell.

ZAHROZA
Oh, that is so sweet. You don't have to waste good manners on the Promethean. It's not like it has feelings.

CANDY
No, you're right. It doesn't.

Zora watches this exchange with a curious look on his face.


ZAHROZA
Princess Candy, beautiful, fair, flawless Candy. I ask your hand in marriage. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?

CANDY
Lord Zahroza, I accept. Nothing would make - -

ZAHROZA
(interrupting) Excellent! I'll start the plans, for tomorrow we wed!

CANDY
No! I mean, uh, why wait? Let's get married today before the sun sets.


ZAHROZA
Oh, anxious, are you? You're right. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do! There's the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list. Captain, round up some guests! (a guard puts Candy on the back of his horse)

CANDY
Fare-thee-well, Promethean.

Zahroza's whole party begins to head back to DuLoc. Zora watchesthem go.

ZORA
Zerah, what are you doing? You're letting her get away.

ZERAH
Yeah? So what?

ZORA
Zerah, there's something about her you don't know. Look, I talked to her last night, She's - -

ZERAH
I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya? Now, if you two are such good friends, why don't you follow her home?

ZORA
Zerah, I - - I wanna go with you.

ZERAH
I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else! Understand? Nobody! Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking foxes!

ZORA
But I thought - -

ZERAH
Yeah. You know what? You thought wrong! (stomps off)

ZORA
Zerah.

Montage of different scenes. Zerah arriving back home. Candy being fitted for the wedding dress. Zora at a stream running into Jack. Zerah cleaning up his house. Candy eating dinner alone. Zerah eating dinner alone.

ZERAH'S HOME

Zerah is eating dinner when he hears a sound outside. He goes outside to investigate.

ZERAH
Zora? (Zora ignores him and continues with what she's doing.) What are you doing?

ZORA
I would think, of all people, you would recognize a wall when you see one.


ZERAH
Well, yeah. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it.


ZORA
It is around your half. See that's your half, and this is my half.

ZERAH
Oh! Your half. Hmm.

ZORA
Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess. I did half the work. I get half the booty. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head.


ZERAH
Back off!

ZORA
No, you back off.

ZERAH
This is my swamp!

ZORA
Our swamp.

ZERAH
(grabs the tree branch Zora is working with) Let go, Zora!

ZORA
You let go.

ZERAH
Stubborn jackass!

ZORA
Smelly Promethean.

ZERAH
Fine! (drops the tree branch and walks away)

ZORA
Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.

ZERAH
Well, I'm through with you.

ZORA
Uh-uh. You know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!" Well, guess what! Now it's my turn! So you just shut up and pay attention! You are mean to me. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do! You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.

ZERAH
Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?

ZORA
Because that's what friends do! They forgive each other!

                                     ZERAH
Oh, yeah. You're right, Zora. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back! (goes into the outhouse and slams the door)

ZORA
Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.

ZERAH
(os) Go away!

ZORA
There you are, doing it again just like you did to Candy. All she ever do was like you, maybe even love you.


ZERAH
(os) Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature. I heard the two of you talking.

ZORA
She wasn't talkin' about you. She was talkin' about, uh, somebody else.


ZERAH
(opens the door and comes out) She wasn't talking about me? Well, then who was she talking about?

ZORA
Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me. Right? Right?

ZERAH
Zora!

ZORA
No!

ZERAH
Okay, look. I'm sorry, all right? (sigh) I'm sorry. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly Promethean. Can you forgive me?


ZORA
Hey, that's what friends are for, right?


ZERAH
Right. Friends?

ZORA
Friends.

ZERAH
So, um, what did Candy say about me?


ZORA
What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?

ZERAH
The wedding! We'll never make it in time.

ZORA
Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where, there's a will, there's a way and I have a way. (whistles)

Suddenly Jack arrives overhead and flies low enough so they can climb on.

ZERAH
Zora?

ZORA
I guess it's just my animal magnetism.


They both laugh.

ZERAH
Aw, come here, you. (gives Zora a noogie)

ZORA
All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass. All right, hop on and hold on tight. I haven't had a chance to install the seat belts yet.

They climb aboard Jack and he takes off for DuLoc.

DULOC - CHURCH

Candy and Zahroza are getting married. The whole town is there. The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Revered Silence'.


MANUS
People of DuLoc, we gather here today to bear witness to the union....

CANDY
(eyeing the setting sun) Um-

MANUS
...of our new king...

CANDY
Excuse me. Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?

ZAHROZA
(chuckles and then motions to Manus to indulge Candy) Go on.

COURTYARD

Some guards are milling around. Suddenly Jack lands with a boom. The guards all take off running.

ZORA
(to Jack) Go ahead, HAVE SOME FUN. If we need you, I'll whistle. How about that? (he nods and goes after the guards) Zerah, wait, wait! Wait a minute! You wanna do this right, don't you?

ZERAH
(at the Church door) What are you talking about?

ZORA
There's a line you gotta wait for. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace." That's when you say, "I object!"

ZERAH
I don't have time for this!

ZORA
Hey, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me! Look, you love this woman, don't you?

ZERAH
Yes.

ZORA
You wanna hold her?

ZERAH
Yes.

ZORA
Please her?

ZERAH
Yes!

ZORA
(singing James Brown style) Then you got to, got to try a little tenderness. (normal) The chicks love that romantic crap!

ZERAH
All right! Cut it out. When does this guy say the line?

ZORA
We gotta check it out.

INSIDE CHURCH

As Manus talks we see Zora's shadow through one of the windows Zerah tosses him up so he can see.

MANUS
And so, by the power vested in me...


Outside

ZERAH
What do you see?

ZORA
The whole town's in there.

Inside

MANUS
I now pronounce you husband and wife...


Outside

ZORA
They're at the altar.

Inside

MANUS
...king and queen.

Outside

ZORA
Mother Fletcher! He already said it.


ZERAH
Oh, for the love of Pete!

He runs inside without catching Zora, who hits the ground hard.


INSIDE CHURCH

ZERAH
(running toward the alter) I object!


CANDY
Zerah?

The whole congregation gasps as they see Zerah.

ZAHROZA
Oh, now what does he want?

ZERAH
(to congregation as he reaches the front of the Church) Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya? I love DuLoc, first of all. Very clean.

CANDY
What are you doing here?

ZAHROZA
Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding...

ZERAH
Candy! I need to talk to you.

CANDY
Oh, now you wanna talk? It's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me - -

ZERAH
But you can't marry him.

CANDY
And why not?

ZERAH
Because- - Because he's just marring you so he can be king.

ZAHROZA
Outrageous! Candy, don't listen to him.

ZERAH
He's not your true love.

CANDY
And what do you know about true love?


ZERAH
Well, I - - Uh - - I mean - -

ZAHROZA
Oh, this is precious. The Promethean has fallen
in love with the princess! Oh, good Lord. (laughs)

The prompter card guy holds up a card that says 'Laugh'. The whole congregation laughs.

ZAHROZA
An Promethean and a princess!

CANDY
Zerah, is this true?

ZAHROZA
Who cares? It's preposterous! Candy, my love, we're but a kiss away from our "happily ever after." Now kiss me! (puckers his lips and leans toward her, but she pulls back.)

CANDY
(looking at the setting sun) "By night one way, by day another." (to Zerah) I wanted to show you before.

She backs up and as the sun sets she changes into her Promethean self. She gives Zerah a sheepish smile.

ZERAH
Well, uh, that explains a lot. (Candy smiles)

ZAHROZA
Ugh! It's disgusting! Guards! Guards! I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them! Get them both!

The guards run in and separate Candy and Zerah. Zerah fights them.

ZERAH
No, no!

CANDY
Zerah!

ZAHROZA
This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king! See? See?

CANDY
No, let go of me! Zerah!

ZERAH
No!

ZAHROZA
Don't just stand there, you morons.


ZERAH
Get out of my way! Candy! Arrgh!

ZAHROZA
I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered! You'll beg for death to save you!

CANDY
No, Zerah!

ZAHROZA
(hold a dagger to Candy's throat) And as for you, my wife...

ZERAH
Candy!

ZAHROZA
I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days! I'm king!


Zerah manages to get a hand free and he whistles.

ZAHROZA
I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have - - (Zora and Jack show up and Jack leans down and eats Zahroza) Aaaah! Aah!

ZORA
All right. Nobody move. I got a ponce here, and I'm not afraid to use it. (Jack roars.) I'm a fox on the edge!

Jack belches and Zahroza's crown flies out of his mouth and falls to the ground.

ZORA
Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?

The congregation cheers.

ZORA
Go ahead, Zerah.

ZERAH
Uh, Candy?

CANDY
Yes, Zerah?

ZERAH
I - - I love you.

CANDY
Really?

ZERAH
Really, really.

CANDY
(smiles) I love you too.

Zerah and Candy kiss. Stan takes one of the cards and writes 'Awwww' on the back and then shows it to the congregation.


CONGREGATION
Aawww!

Suddenly the magic of the spell pulls Candy away. She's lifted up into the air and she hovers there while the magic works around her.

WHISPERS
"Until you find true love's first kiss and then take love's true form. Take love's true form. Take love's true form."

                         Suddenly Candy's eyes open wide. She's consumed by the spell and then is slowly lowered to the ground.

ZERAH
(going over to her) Candy? Candy. Are you all right?

CANDY
(standing up, she's still a Promethean) Well, yes. But I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful.

ZERAH
But you ARE beautiful.

They smile at each other.

ZORA
(chuckles) I was hoping this would be a happy ending.

Zerah and Candy kiss...and the kiss fades into...

THE SWAMP

...their wedding kiss. Zerah and Candy are now married. 'I'm a Believer' by Smashmouth is played in the background. Zerah and Candy break apart and run through the crowd to their awaiting carriage. Which is made of a giant onion. Candy tosses her bouquet which both Abby and Luka try to catch. But they end up getting into a cat fight and so Jack catches the bouquet instead. Anya has been mended somewhat and now has one leg and walks with a candy cane cane. Zerah and Candy walk off as the rest of the guests party and Zora takes over singing the song.

ANYA
God bless us, every one.

ZORA
(as he's done singing and we fade to black) Oh, that's funny. Oh. Oh. I can't breathe. I can't breathe.

THE END