Rainbro on Earth Chapter 2

Rainbro on Earth: Chapter 2

>You've gone through your third movie before you find Dash passed out next to you.
>She's put her head in your lap at some point
>Her soft snoring makes you daw inside
>You almost don't want to wake up the alien horse but you have to if you want some sleep
>You shake her softly and she comes to
>The way she yawns isn't fucking fair
>You still want to yell at her for fucking with your computer
>But that's for tomorrow, for now you don't wish to ruin this evening.
>Dash: "I don't wanna mooooove."
>She nuzzles in to your lap
>God the daw is strong with this one.
>She belches and you're reminded that the two of you had just gone through a drunken rage upon your bottles
>These feels are probably from the alcohol
>No fucks appear to be in site
"Come on Dash, the bed's like...20 feet away."
>Dash: "Carry me."
>areyoufuckingkiddingme.exe
"Nope."
>Dash looks up at you with watering eyes
>Dash: "Please?"
>God damn it.
>You lift her up in your arms as if she were a child
>Your thoughts fall upon your daughter as you take Rainbow to your room.
>She was an adorable little kid back when you could hold her
>God this alcohol turns you in to a sap.

>You hear a soft snickering from the cyan pegasi in your arms
>Dash: "Heh, I knew you'd carry me."
>She sticks her tongue out at you
>You're now half tempted to drop her.
>But you're a good dude, hell you're a cop after all.
>You kick open your door like a fluttershy and walk over to your bed.
>You set Rainbow down gently upon your bed and tuck her in.
>She's out like a light
>indicated by her light snoring
>God damn it these daws
>You turn to leave for your chillastic couch
>Lol jk your couch sucks
>You shrugs as you make yourself comfortable, soon you fall asleep
>Your dreams aren't comforting ones
>In your dream you stand, everything seems in order as if you were awake.
>You look to the couch and see your sleeping figure
>The fuck? out of body experience?
>You haven't gone through something like this since you were a kid.
>As you're about to lay back down you feel an unknown force pull you to your feet
>Sobbing soon follows after
>The hell?

>You feel almost enticed to follow the sound of the sobbing
>Your body naturally seems to know where the fuck its coming from
>You walk out of your front door, yeah like a fawking ghost
>You aimlessly walk down the street past your apartment
>Not a single sign of life can be seen other than yourself.
>Weird as fuck
>As you walk the sobbing grows louder, louder, and even fucking louder
>You're holding your ears at this point
>God damn this crying
>You cringe, shutting your eyes in the process
>The crying stops
>When you open your eyes again you see that you're standing in a long hallway lined with metal
>As if whatever was housed here was dangerous enough to require metal housing.
>As you walk down the hallway you see windows looking in to various rooms
>God these are some ugly motherfuckers
>You spot what looks like a predator in a room, hell one seems to house a xenomorph as well
>The crying starts again
>It's coming from a nearby room
>You're drawn to it.
>When you look inside you're unable to make anything out
>The light within is blinding
>When you shield your eyes you feel yourself being pulled back, almost yanked
>You awaken to sunlight beaming in your fucking face
>Hey Sunlight and hangover combo, great.

>You hold your precious head in your hands
>Dear god you really got in to drinking last night
>You hear the sound of a door shutting.
>That snaps your ass to attention
>Holding your head in your hands you make your way to the source of the noise
>Dash has taken it upon herself to use your tiolet
>Her retching nearly drives you to blow chunks all over the floor
>But you're a man. You're not gonna lose it every damn where
"Yo...Dash you alright."
>Dash calls out from within the bathroom
>Dash: "Yeah jus- *WARGHABLE* gimmie a min..minute."
>Oh god that sounds awful
>You leave her to her 'work' and make your way in to kitchen
>She's gonna be hungry after she empties her stomach in to your poreclin throne
>You decide pancakes are the best course of action
>As you get in to making your delicious pancakes you see Dash wobble the fuck out of your bathroom.
>She at least had the courtesy to flush, you know that you're gonna have to get her some stuff for her teeth today
>Oh god you've gotta go shopping today

>After these pancakes you're pretty much without food.
>Maybe you'll have your check in the mail today
>And maybe just maybe you'll win the lottery today too.
>Yeah your check is never on fucking time.
>When they're finally finished you serve yourself and a very hungry Dash
>She happily noms her stack of pancakes as you savor yours.
>You're not in her position so you can understand her....animlistic eating style.
>god damn she finished those pancakes in 10 seconds flat...or it fucking seems that way.
>She's patting her stomach in satisfaction
>Dash belches
>Dash: "So? What's on the agenda for today Anon?"
>Huh, guess p0nies don't get fucking hangovers.
>You're not really in the mood to talk but you still strike up conversation regardless.
"Yeah...I'm gonna go out...and yeah you're gonna stay here and watch t.v."
>Dash: "Can I use the computer?"
"No."
>Dash: "Aww come on! Why?"
>is dis nigga srs?

"Why? Why?! You fucking flashed your p0ny tits all over the internet! Oh god...how many views does it have now?"
>You get up to go to your computer
>Dash is hungrily eyeing your pancakes
>Dash: "Hey you gonna finnish those?"
>You turn back to her
"Knock yourself out."
>She raises her hoof in to the air for a victory pose, then crawls over your table to get to your pancakes.
>You turn on your comp and wait......wait....wait
>Bam you now have internets
>You go to the youtube video
>Wtf its gone
>Okay.jpeg
>that at least solves the problem of it getting out
>you continue to search using keywords to make sure its gone
>Okay its gone
>You go on to the boards you frequent and check the thread where it all began
>You scroll over your trip posts
>[User was banned for this post]
>Okay? You continue to scroll down the page and see more of the same messages
>How is this even possible you're ON the fucking site, if they were going to ban you you'd not even be able to view the page.
>Something's rustling your jimmies and you don't like it.

>You can't focus on this right now though
>She did group webcam on your fucking skype
>Meaning she bought skype premium
>meaning she's been able to figure out your credit card
>And how to take care of online paying
>God damn it....who could of showed her how to do all of that?
"Hey Dash?"
>Dash answers with her mouth full of pancakes
>Dash: "Mmsmmorh?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full please."
>She swallows
>Dash:"Sorry bout that, what's up?"
"Who taught you how to chan, skype, and use my fucking credit card over the course of 15 minutes?"
>Dash ponders for a moment
>Dash: "It was uh....Bizzles, Wuten, and I think...uh...Sherminator?"
>FUCKING GOD DAMN IT!
>You knew they were good at keeping others entertained
>What you didn't know was they knew how to inadvertantly teach a p0ny how to expose herself to tens of thousands of people.
>Fucking tripfags and their helpful attitudes.
>You can't even type out how mad your are cause you're not allowed to fucking post!
>Fuck chan and its weird ass ban
>Fuck your computer

>You turn that bitch off and go back to the kitchen
"Hey Dash....I'm really gonna need you to stay inside today. I'll be out for a few hours buying food and shit depending if I actually got paid today."
>She nods, understanding the situation
"If anyone knocks and it isn't me do NOT answer it."
>Dash nods yet again
>You're satisfied with her reaction
>Within the course of 30 minutes you're showered, shaved, dressed, and heading out the door
>You wave to Dash, she's glued to the t.v.
>You hope your explanation of how to work TiVo will help her along.
>Fuck if 3 tripfags could teach her how to do all that shit certainly you could teach her how to work a t.v.
>You picture coming home to an apartment on fire with Dash saying, "I didn't know how to turn off the t.v."
>God your mind really doesn't like you today.
>You head out the door and lock it behind you.
>You see Strelnikov is still in your fucking parking spot
>Fuck it you'll handle it later
>You get in to your squad car and make your way over to your bank
>Thankfully you've switched over to direct deposit so your shit goes right in to your account.
>After going through all the bullshit the teller lets you know that you've got your check today.
>Fuckyeah.jpg
>You won't go hungry tonight.

>As you walk out of the bank you take a look around the area
>Yeah it's quite the bustling city all right
>You turn to take a look over at one of your frequently visited spots
>A starbucks
>God that placed has saved your ass so many fucking times
>You've become quite the regular
>They'll even give you free fucking coffee there cause they fucking love your business.
>You could really go for one right about now
>Fuck it get coffe make money get bitches
>That's your motto right now
>Fuck you if you don't like it.
>What you don't notice on your way to starbucks is that there's a man in a black suit eyeing your ass from a diner across the street from the starbucks
>Some bulky looking asshole, short black hair, green eyes, goatee, douchebag air of superiority
>As you go in to the building he recieves a call

>"Yeah go ahead."
>"Jenkins, have you spotted the target?"
>Jenkins: "Yeah, he's heading in to Starbucks."
>"Good, don't lose sight of him, Mr. Anonymous here likes to head out to that Publix down the street after he gets a coffee from this place, he'll probably walk. When he's alone make your move."
>Jenkins: "Understood."
>He hangs up his cellphone and watches the doors to starbucks like a fucking hawk
>Back to your beta ass
>You're waiting in line for your god damn coffee
>Takes them ten damn minutes and even then they can't afford to give you a nice free cup
>Fuck it pay em and drink that shit like a sir.
>Fuck that burns!
>Drink it like a fluttershy instead until that shit cools down.
>When you finish your coffee you head out that god damn crowded starbucks
>You think that you might as well go on ahead and take your ass to Publix
>Get the grocery shopping out of the way so you can get back to your alien horse room mate
>It'll probably be saturday night booze and movies
>Sounds like a fucking plan to you
>You're on your merry way, thanks to that splitting fucking migrane finally leaving you
>you promise to drink less tonight
>You know you're probably gonna drink more than you did last night.

>As you make your way down to Publix you pull out a quarter from your pocket
>You move the quarter in between you fingers with one hand
>You remember a doctor being able to do this shit without derping it the fuck up
>Said something about dexterity training or something
>You were getting pretty good at maneuvering it along your fingers
>Good going Anon you done goofed
>The quarter falls from your fingers and it rolls.
>Fuck you don't wanna lose that quarter
>When it finally fucking stops you bend down to pick it up
>When you stand back up you see some fuck in a suit dead fucking staring at you from behind a few people.
>Okay....what's his problem.
>You look over to him and when he realizes he's looking at you he turns his head to look at something else.
>Heh, you're feeling pretty alpha right now
>Bitch won't look you in the face
>With a smile planted on your features you go back on your path to Publix
>lo and behold you make it there.
>You head inside and start getting the shit you want and or need
>Your ass doesn't even notice that the asshole from earlier is in Publix with you.
>That is until you drop the ingrediants for some grade A spaghetti
>You loved spaghetti cause you're a spaghetti eating fuck.
>When you pick up your stuff you see the same asshole staring at you
>Okay this is getting annoying

>As you head down the alleyway a bit you turn your head to see suit fuck walking down the alleyway following your ass still.
>You've had enough.
>You stop your cart and turn around to face him
>He's not ducking away or averting his eyes this time
>He has his eyes trained on you
>The man in the suit walks up to you until he's about eight feet from you give or take a few feet.
"Okay who the fuck are you and why're you following me?"
>You take a few steps towards him
>Jenkins: "Whoa whoa whoa chill your tits buddy."
>You see him reach in to his suit fumbling for something.
>You're not surprised when he produces a colt 1911 from within his suit.
>Well what do ya know he's got a suppressor for it too.
>Okay he's pointing the fucker at you
>You stop dead in your tracks
>You really don't feel like getting shot today
"Okay, I'll 'chill my tits.' So...who the hell are you and why're you pointing a gun at my chest?"
>this suit fuck ignores your question and reaches for his phone
>Not enough time to do anything, fuck.

>He dials some random number.
>You hear some chick answer on the other end cant make out what she says
>Jenkins: "N one seven A L three nine."
>You hear that chick speak again
>Probably some stupid fail safe if someone goes through his phone or some shit you don't really care.
>You're not a complete retard though you keep that code in your mind.
>Jenkins: "Yeah I got him right here. So, after I get what I need what do ya want me to do?"
>You hear some guy speaking to him from the other end
>Jenkins: "Understood."
>He hangs up
"So who was that bundle of joy?"
>Jenkins: "No one you need to concern yourself with. I'm going to ask you a series of questions and you're gonna tell me the truth."
"Sounds reasonable, depending on what you ask."
>Yeah you've got an itching feeling that Dash's tits have royally fucked you over.
>This guy's probably from some fucking agency
>He'll get his information and he'll gun your ass down in the alleyway
>Your death will be covered up as a robbery probably
>Then they'll be taking Dash away
>They'll experiment on her, probably tear her limb from limb
>Examine every organ, that kinda bullshit.


>You do not want that to happen
>But you know if you don't answer his questions shit is gonna get really fucking difficult for you.
>There appears to be no one fucking coming down here so there's no chance you'll be saved by some random pedestrian.
>Jenkins: "Question number one: Are you harboring a new species of creature within your home?"
>Fucking hell he's not beating around the bush about this shit
>You answer truthfully
"Yes."
>Jenkins: "Did this same species expose her existence on the internet?"
"Yes."
>Jenkins: "Do you have any idea how fucking long that took to cover that shit up?"
"No."
>Jenkins facepalms
>Jenkins: "No shit you don't know, getting rid of the evidence and wiping that uh...Bizzle's hard drive was a cakewalk, but we aren't going to be convincing you 'brony' freaks that the video wasn't real."
>Well this has apparently rustled this guy's jimmies quite a bit.
>Jenkins: "It doesn't matter, its not like they really matter in the long run."
"Okay....so what else do you have to ask me? I don't have all day I'd like to get home."
>Pistol whip to the fucking face
>Yeah that hurt like a bitch
>Your lips got a little blood running down it now
>Your new 'friend' here is pretty full of mad bro.
>He's got his colt trained on you yet again
Jenkins: "I'm not in the mood for any shit today.

>obviously not
>You resist the urge to draw your fist back and clock him in the fucking nugget.
>Jenkins smiles when he sees your face twisted in anger
"So...who's pulling your strings?"
>Jenkins: "Heh, wouldn't you like to know. We don't even fucking exist in the eyes of the American Government."
"Really? That makes this a bit easier then."
>Jenkins: "Huh?"
>You smile and take a look at his colt
"So, I'm assuming you're a rookie?"
>Jenkins: "Nah man I've been workin with em for a long time."
"Then I assume you've interrogated people before right?"
>Jenkins: "Correct."
"Well, if you really want to intimidate me in to answering anything else you'll need to take the safety off."
>Jenkins: "Huh?"
>The dumb ass pulls his colt to his face to make sure the safety's off
>Thank god you've got some damn training in you.
>with your right hand you bring your palm in to the arm holding the colt
>you make Jenkins wail himself in the fucking face with his own gun
>He lets out a yelp of pain and drops the fucking thing.
>You hurridely pick it up and train it on him
"Yeah you're a fucking moron. You should know whether the fucking safety's on or not before you point it at someone dumb ass."
>Jenkins growls at you
>You're feeling a little frisky
"So, if your 'agency' doens't exist, then you don't exist, if you don't exist this gun doesn't exist, if this gun doesn't exist then this never happened."
>Jenkins: "What never happened?"
>You answer him by popping him in the right kneecap.

>Jenkins lets out a yelp and he immediately grabs his now shot knee
"Yeah now I'm going to be asking the questions Mr. Doesn't Exist. If you don't want to end up facedown in the concrete you'll answer my questions truthfully."
>Jenkins: "Fuck off."
>Your adrenaline is rushing from finally firing a gun, so why not do it again?
>You pop Jenkins in his right shoulder.
>He yelps again
>Yeah now you're gonna get your questions
>You're assuming that if he doesn't report back to whomever they'll send someone else, you'd like to avoid that.
"So, who do you work for?"
>Jenkins: "Kiss my ass."
>You pop him in his right forearm
>You are not amused by his attitude.
"Listen pal, you've set it up so I can kill you and just leave it at that, coming after me legally means exposing your 'agency' they'll happily leave your ass to rot and replace you with someone else. Now are you gonna answer me or what?"
>Jenkins is silent
"Now, who do you work for?"
>Jenkins: "Fuck it, I'm dead either way, might as well give ya a little bit of info."
"That's better."
>Jenkins: "First off, we're the guys who work with Area 53's recovery section."
"Area 53? The fuck is that?"
>Jenkins: "Our location is where they offload various....'creatures' Area 51 recovers them, then delivers them to us."
"Interesting. And you are?"
>Jenkins: "Agent Leeroy Jenkins code number: N17AL39"
>You laugh when he says his name
>Jenkins: "Fuck off I was born before that fucker."
"Well at least he has chicken and lacking non existent bullets in his body."

>Jenkins is not amused
>You can't seem to give a fuck as you'll readily empty the clip in to his body
>Within in your 6 years on the force you've had to end the lives of a few unfortunate individuals
>You weren't proud of it, you didn't want to do it, but when faced with certain death choices need to be made.
>No one outside of the station knew of it.
>Your late wife and kid never knew and you felt it better that way.
>Oh god that night was hell for you
>Some small gun fight erupted in the southern section of the city and you were called in as back up.
>You went in, and did what had to be done. None of them saw you coming
>Taking them out when their attention was diverted made it easy.
>Pulling the trigger seemed effortless for you
>They were hurting good honest people, hell civilians had gotten caught in the cross fire
>The cops you helped called you a hero
>God forbid you didn't feel like one
>You had the officers there get all the credit for the events that took place
>You didn't want your name anywhere near that newspaper article that depicted the two 'hero cops'
>Hell you still get drunk as fuck whenever it comes to mind
>Fuck you're rambling in your fucking head!
>Luckily Jenkins is still licking his wounds so to speak

"Okay, now...what do you want with Rainbow Dash?"
>Jenkins laughs
>Jenkins: "You're a fucking brony too? That's rich!"
"Yeah....about that...."
>You squeeze off yet another round, this time aiming for the meaty portion in his right calf
>You're focusing on his right side
>It hits and he yells this time
>Looks like you're really starting to hurt him now.
>Jenkins: "Okay fine I'm sorry! Just...just don't shoot me again this hurts like hell. Okay, we want this..'Rainbow Dash' because of her wings. See we recovered this white looking p0ny that looks like em right? Except she's got a horn AND wings. We found out she's one of a kind as well, we can't go harvesting an endangered species....so we're going to be using that cyan pegasus you found instead."
>Wait....white unicorn with wings...Celestia?
"Hold on, are you holding that p0ny in some reinforced looking hallway with a bunch of other creepy fucking looking things?"
>Jenkins looks at you and his jaw drops
>Jenkins: "How do you know that?"
"That's none of your concern. Sound familiar?"
>Jenkins curses under his breath
"So, what do you want Dash's wings for?"
>Jenkins: "Well not her wings specifically...we're looking in to her genetic code, see why she actually HAS wings. Everything after that I can't even access."
"Well...I've really got no other questions to ask of you, I don't care what you stand for, nor do I care who's in this little group of yours."
>You think to yourself for a moment
"How would I get to Celestia and get her out of that place?"
>Jenkins laughs
>Jenkins: "You wouldn't."
"I was afraid you'd say that."
>Jenkins: "HA! You even know that horse's name too? God your sad."
>Okay this guy really loves getting shot apparently.

>You resist the urge to empty what remains of the entire clip in to his face
"Well, I got what I need for the most part, have a good day Leeroy."
>Jenkins: "Wait? You're not gonna like...kill me or anything?"
"No why? Here let's go under the assumption you know everything about me, even the shit I keep secret. I'm not a killer, I didn't enjoy doing what I did in the slightest."
>Jenkins is silent
"Also I'm keeping the gun."
>Jenkins: "Wha?"
>You put the colt in to your pants opposite to your Glock 22.
"I said I'm keeping the gun."
>Jenkins manevurs himself so he's got his back to the wall
>As you turn to grab your cart another question hits you
"Hey Jenkins? Which hand do you use?"
>Jenkins: "My right why?"
>You approach him and pull out the colt
"Put your right hand against the wall
>Jenkin's eyes bulge
>Jenkins: "What are you gonna do."
>You grab his hand and put it out in front of you
>You put the barrel to the center of his palm
>you fire
>This makes him scream
"Good luck holding a weapon in that hand again."
>You put YOUR colt away and make your way back to your cart, leaving Jenkins to his pain.

>When you finally make it back to your squad car your andrenaline finally stops flowing you take in to consideration what you just did.
>You went to great fucking lengths to get what you wanted.
>God you've really sunk pretty far haven't you?
>Oh well, as long as you had that info that was all you needed.
>If Celestia really was stuck here then she'd need to be rescued
>But the problem is, you forgot to ask Jenkins where Area 53 IS
>You're not going to go back and question him again
>You're under the assumption that they're gonna send someone else after you
>Meh you'll just question him or her as well.

>As you put your shit away and drive off Jenkins is cradling his bleeding hand
>A small black car pulls up to the alleyway you left him in
>Two men in the same suit Jenkins is wearing approach him
>Jenkins looks up to them
>Jenkins: "So I guess I'm not getting that promotion?"
>One of the two pull out the same type of handgun Jenkins was using and puts a bullet in the center of Jenkins' forehead
>The second produces a black bag and the two proceed to place Jenkin's corps within it.
>they stuff the corpse in to the trunk and peel out.

>As you pull in to the apartment complex you see your space open
>Like a fucking sir you take your spot
>As you're carrying your groceries to the door you ponder
>How are you going to break all of this to Dash?

>End of Chapter 2