They 'Mirin

*Huff huff huff*
>Day Who The Fuck Enjoys Excercise in Equestria.
>Deciding that you needed to get into better shape, you run on the treadmill that somehow found it's way into your home.
>"This is a revolution, brah! They 'mirin your gains!"
>It randomly throws out slogans from some dead Australian musclejunkie named Byzz, or some shit. Which doesn't really make sense, since this machine isn't really for putting on muscle...
>You plan to get rid of the bit of gut that you have, then maybe find yourself a girlfriend.
>At least that's what you told yourself this morning.
>"It's time to stop being a sad cunt, and start being a sick cunt!"
>You already regret this decision.
>Drenched with sweat, you trudge on, feeling like you're about to throw up a lung.
>You can't stop though, you're time is almost up. Get pumped.
>"We're all gonna make it, brah!"
YEEEEEA-oh
>Hearing a knock on the door, you turn off the voice option, and call out that it's open.
>Your Rainbro, and that pegasus that she hangs around, Flitter you think her name is, walk in.
>Looking over from your position in the corner, you continue to run as they speak to you.
>"Hey bro! Haha, what're you doin? I don't think I've ever seen you sweat so much!"
>Rainbow flies over in front of you, as Flitter splays across your couch and looks on curiously.
I'm-*huff*Dying*huff*can't*huff*stop
>H-heh, quit jokin around, Anon...
>Getting a bit of a concerned look, she lightly punches you in the shoulder causing you to slip.
>fuckfuckfuckFUCKFUCK
>Barely recovering, you manage to awkwardly stumble into a run until the machine stops with a beep.

>Dropping to your hands and knees, you pant while the sweat droplets fall to the sole of the treadmill from your forehead.
>Your vision goes dark, as you feel something fall on your head.
>Reaching with a hand, you pull off a towel, and look to the smiling purple Pegasus who dropped it on you.
*huff* thanks...
>"Hehe, you looked like you needed it."
>Sitting back and dabbing your neck with the towel, you see your Rainbro winking and pointing at Flitter from behind her back.
>The fuck is she on about?
>"So I brought Flitter here over to hang out today! She's on the weather team with me, and was mentioning how she always wanted to meet Ponevilles famous human...~"
>Raising an eyebrow, you glance over to the now lightly blushing Flitter, who is nervously scraping the floor with a hoof.
>"I-it wasn't anything like that... Rainbow Dash is just always talking about how great you are! I thought we could be friends."
>If you weren't already red from the exercise, you probably would be a bit now.
>This is the first time a mare has shown any interest in you before you've met, romantic or otherwise.
>What few female friends you have managed to gain were an uphill battle, more than likely due to the aura of manliness you exude.
>Yeah, you're just awkward around girls.
Y-yeah, sure. I've seen you around too. Ya know, pushin clouds... And stuff...
>Smooth.
>Dash snickers at the spaghetti moment she created before zipping out the door, and quickly returning with some beers.
>Cracking a few open, you settle into your couch for an evening of chatting it up with your bro, and your new friend.

>A few weeks later, and you're back on the machine for a run.
>It's gotten easier and easier over the days to keep up a comfortable pace.
>You feel better, and you're starting to notice a difference in your midsection.
>You think Flitter is noticing too, as she's been dropping by more lately to hang out.
>You think you've been hitting it off pretty well, and are considering asking her on a proper date.
>Rainbro has taken to coaching you while you run, mostly because you got tired of hearing that Australian call you a cunt in any context, sad or sick.
>But also because she is worried about you, after you told her that your treadmill was a "do or die" machine.
>She wondered at first why you didn't just run outside, but you now have her convinced that this is the best way to go about it.
>Gave her some line about the benefits of tread technology.
>But more importantly, how it would kill you if you stopped running before the time was up, and that the fear factor lead to extra calorie burning.
>Really it's just because you run like a jackass who pretends to be a velociraptor.
>And you don't want to subject the pones of Poneville to autism of that level.
>Fuck you, it's fun.
>Hopping off the machine when your time is finished, you chug some water and dry off.
>"Nice, Anon! That was like four times as long as you could go when first you started!"
That's what she said.
>"...Huh?"
>Fucking pones and their lack of sexual innuendo.
Nothing. Anyway, I'll be right back. Gonna grab a shower before I head out to meet Flitter for lunch.
>"Heh, aww yeah! You know I'm there!"
...Yeah.
>Dash hooked you up when she brought Flitter over in the first place, and you're really grateful for it.
>But you really don't want her around this time.
>She's always cracking little jokes, making things awkward, and generally being a third wheel.
>Not like you don't love your Rainbro, but you wish she had a bit of tact when it came to this kind of thing.
>Heading down the hallway, you see her inquisitively poking your treadmill with a hoof before you round the corner.

>Poking Anons running doohicky with your hoof, you watch him head into the bathroom for a shower.
>You aren't sure about how dangerous this thing is, but it works, and your bro is starting to look lean.
>Almost makes you regret introducing him to that fleuzy Flitter.
>No, no... That's not cool.
>Floating up, you begin to jab on the controls, causing it to hum to life.
>Watching the black tread as it whizzes by, you make sure to keep a good distance from it.
>But then again...
>If it worked so well for Anon, think of what it could do for you! You'd be in the wonderbolts in no time!
>And the timers only set for half an hour, that's no problem!
>With a confident nod, you settle down onto the machine and begin to gallop.
>15 minutes later, and you're working up a bit of a sweat.
>Nothing serious, you are The Dash after all.
*hah hah* They should make one of these for wings!
>"Having fun?"
>With a yelp, you almost lose your balance and trip.
>Turning your head, you see Anon looking dressed up and shower fresh, looking at you with an amused expression.
Dangit Anon! Be more careful around this thing! *hah huff* Another 10 minutes and we can go.
>"Yeaaaah... About that..."
>Your eyes widen as he reaches a hand over the controls... And turns the timer up until it shows... 2 hours!?
W-what are you doing!?
>He then messes with the controls until you're galloping at full speed, and some strange voice comes out of the machine.
>"I'm just a fellow sick cunt trying to make your timeline more aesthetic!"
>WHAT!?
>"Sorry Dash, just thought you'd enjoy a real workout. I'll back in a few hours to see how it went."
*HUFF HUFF* ANON!!!! BRO!!! *HUFF HUFF* YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE!!!
>"If anyone wants your autograph, just tell them to look out for a massive shredded sick cunt!"
AAAAAGH*HUFFHUFFHUFF*
>Walking out the door and whistling to himself, he ignores your cries as you continue to gallop in place.

>Walking back into your home that evening, you feel like shits finally working out for you.
>After lunch with Flitter, the two of you walked around town and visited a few shops.
>Really just enjoying being alone together.
>Working up your nerve before you parted ways, you asked her out on a dinner date this weekend.
>it wouldn't be a lie to say that you were expecting to get turned down, so you were completely floored when she kissed you on the cheek, chirped a flustered "Of course", and flew off blushing.
>You swaggered the entire way home.
>Crashing onto your couch, you grin at the ceiling like an idiot until a groan across the room catches your attention.
>Oh right. You forgot about her.
>Slumped underneath a new dent in your wall behind your treadmill, your Rainbro lies unconscious.
>Guess she tripped, and the speed of the tread shot her off.
>Picking her up, you set her on your couch and grab an icepack from the kitchen.
>Laying it across the bruise that has formed on her flank, you set a beer next to her for when she wakes up, and walk off towards your room.
>Stopping in the doorway, you turn and whisper a thank you to the bro that changed your life for the better.
Thank you... And RIP, based Zyzz...
>Hitting the lights, you close the door.