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Randy Credico Interviewed by Nick Di Paolo (12/13/2017)

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  1. Supplemental document for: "Theory that Roger Stone's back channel to Wikileaks was Randy Credico", link: https://wakelet.com/wake/2d352ae9-febe-44a1-a7bb-51674a2e4bf5
  2.  
  3. Randy Credico on "The Nick Di Paolo Show". Broadcast date: December 13, 2017. Excerpt runs from 0:16 to end of file.
  4.  
  5. File link: http://www.mediafire.com/file/t16tzo02bedt6fe/The_Nick_Di_Paolo_Show_-_December_13th%2C_2017_%5B360p%5D_-_Credico.mp3/file
  6.  
  7. The dynamic between Di Paolo and Credico is that of two brothers, where the taunting on the part of Di Paolo can quickly turn cruel. It should be noted that the only person I have come across who has this friendly, intimate rhythm with Credico on the radio is Roger Stone. Di Paolo treats Credico as a kind of chickenhead, a carny act, and when Di Paolo, a cruel fascist of a man, sneers at Credico's pretenses, Credico doesn't have the energy or will to sass back. Credico is a bully, happy to pick on anyone who he thinks of as vulnerable, yet quickly turns when they fight back - he has the cowardice of the bully, and the emotional neediness of the bully as well. In this, he is one more jagged reflection of the current president - though both men would despise being compared to each other. Credico feels the need for approval of a number of men - Roger Stone, Julian Assange, and Nick Di Paolo - all of whom look upon him with some mixture of contempt. All three men pick up on a core of emotional neediness in Credico, and know that he is easily manipulated because of it - and the same could be said of Trump vis a vis Putin.
  8.  
  9. Most notable in this transcript is Credico's open admission that he was $100K under the table by Roger Stone for political work on the Golisano campaign, which raises the possibility of when else Stone paid him undisclosed sums for political work. There are the allegations of criminality on the part of WBAI staff, and he makes clear that he is in regular contact with Assange, and though he passes himself off as technically inept, he uses Signal for these communications - he gets a message during the broadcast from Assange.
  10.  
  11. Audio excerpt of Credico's admission of being paid $100K by Stone for political work can be found here:
  12. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZYl4_9YHjC4
  13.  
  14. Originally, it was stated here that Credico makes explicit that he is a Seth Rich truther - this actually takes place on the broadcast of the night before: https://pastebin.com/ECKmrH8S
  15.  
  16. Throughout the course of the show, Credico gets drunker and drunker.
  17.  
  18. NICK DI PAOLO
  19. Sitting to my right, the man we had on the phone last night...the legend, the man who was subpoenaed by Congress, because of this whole Julian Assange / Wikileaks / Roger Stone mess. Lot of people, Roger Stone fingered this guy, this friend of mine. This comedian. This far left radical, a protege of William Kunstler-
  20.  
  21. RANDY CREDICO
  22. And I still love you!
  23.  
  24. DI PAOLO
  25. -who represented every piece of garbage on the earth. But he's a good guy.
  26.  
  27. CREDICO
  28. I still love you, man. In spite of your politics. That's what's amazing about-
  29.  
  30. DI PAOLO
  31. My parents say that too.
  32.  
  33. CREDICO
  34. In spite of your politics- I was talking to Jimmy Dore today, and we both think that you're completely hilarious. Even though we're both left- I don't know what left- I don't even know what left and right is. I'm like...pro-Second Amendment. Alright? I do Fred Dicker's show- ["Live from the State Capitol / Focus on the State Capitol"]
  35.  
  36. DI PAOLO
  37. I don't know who- Who's Fred Dicker?
  38.  
  39. CREDICO
  40. Fred Dicker is- He's the uuh former state editor of the New York Post. And he's been in Albany for thirty years. He's a conservative, ex-leftist turned far right-
  41.  
  42. DI PAOLO
  43. When did he make the turn, Randy? When he met you? [laughs]
  44.  
  45. CREDICO
  46. No no, he made the turn, back in, like, 1968. Alright? So, he beceame a far right guy, but he loves me, I do his radio show every Friday. At 10:00am. I'll be doing it this Friday, at 10:00, out of Albany, and it's the same station that has Laura Ingraham-
  47.  
  48. DI PAOLO
  49. Rush.
  50.  
  51. CREDICO
  52. Yes. As [tries to do Rush, sounds less like Rush, and more like some Western villain, a coal baron or railroad magnate] Rush Limbaugh is on the show, and we're going to be talking to right now, with my good friend, uh, Nick DiPaolo, and we'll be talking to him, in just a few minutes.
  53.  
  54. DI PAOLO
  55. Can I say something about Rush? I have a book, Colin Quinn was somewhere where Rush was, and Rush had a book out, and so Colin said, "Can you sign this to my friend Nick Di-?" And- and Rush put "You're too conservative for me." [both men laugh]
  56.  
  57. CREDICO
  58. I don't know-
  59.  
  60. DI PAOLO
  61. He saw me on "Tough Crowd" make some racial comments- But I'm not! I'm not!
  62.  
  63. CREDICO
  64. We are- We are- Listen, we are, this is what's great about today. [this is said over DI PAOLO's last line]
  65.  
  66. DI PAOLO
  67. But I'm not Randy!
  68.  
  69. CREDICO
  70. Let me say- Wait a second-
  71.  
  72. DI PAOLO
  73. I'm pro-abortion, I'm pro-gay marriage-
  74.  
  75. CREDICO
  76. Yes, well, listen. So's Roger Stone. Alright? So...let me just say this. Would Nick DiPaolo - you have two Italians here. Two Italian-Americans. My grandparents actually...were born in Italy and they came here- I could become an Italian citizen, and I might! Real soon. I can take the-
  77.  
  78. DI PAOLO
  79. They were both born in Italy?
  80.  
  81. CREDICO
  82. Yes.
  83.  
  84. DI PAOLO
  85. Your parents?
  86.  
  87. CREDICO
  88. My grandparents. My grandparents-
  89.  
  90. DI PAOLO
  91. You have Indian in you, too.
  92.  
  93. CREDICO
  94. I have Indian, people think- people think I have Mongolian blood in me. Because I have high cheek bones. But it's the-
  95.  
  96. DI PAOLO
  97. No, because you have a giant forehead and you drool like a retard. Go ahead.
  98.  
  99. CREDICO
  100. Yeah...I'm drooling now?
  101.  
  102. DI PAOLO
  103. Ah, the spittle. I don't see any spittle coming out of your mouth. You used to look like a pitbull, with rabies, when you get excited.
  104.  
  105. CREDICO
  106. Well, I'm not getting excited right now. But I- Listen, this is going to be the quickest two hours [DI PAOLO: It is.] you folks have ever heard. We're gonna ask for a full day.
  107.  
  108. DI PAOLO
  109. Randy can talk. Randy is like an auctioneer.
  110.  
  111. CREDICO
  112. We have a lot of fucking stories to talk about. But I can actually use that kind of language.
  113.  
  114. DI PAOLO
  115. You tried to pick up my wife once. Go ahead.
  116.  
  117. CREDICO
  118. Well, who wouldn't? I mean, Andi's like one of the most beautiful women in the world. [DI PAOLO: Thanks.] But- not recently [sic - CREDICO isn't trying for a diss - he's just clumsy with words].
  119.  
  120. DI PAOLO
  121. You didn't pick her up recently. Oh yeah. In L.A., here's what it was. I had a-
  122.  
  123. CREDICO
  124. Oh, wait a sec- You're worse than- You're worse than that guy, the boxer-
  125.  
  126. DI PAOLO
  127. Oh, I'm going back too far? [CREDICO: Wait a sec.] Am I going back too far?
  128.  
  129. CREDICO
  130. What's his name? That guy- That guy Robert De Niro played? The boxer.
  131.  
  132. DI PAOLO
  133. Jake La Motta.
  134.  
  135. CREDICO
  136. Yeah. "You hitting on my wife?" I would never hit on your wife, you could kill-
  137.  
  138. DI PAOLO
  139. No, but here's what you did: you uuuuuh-
  140.  
  141. CREDICO
  142. Which is the one with the alcohol in it?
  143.  
  144. DI PAOLO
  145. She gave you a ride to the airport or something. Or gave me a ride to the airport. Dropped me off, and then you said, [laughs] you went back home, then you went back to my place- Something like that. Or she gave you a ride-
  146.  
  147. CREDICO
  148. Oh, you're one sick motherfucker.
  149.  
  150. DI PAOLO
  151. What are you talking about? You stayed at my apartment.
  152.  
  153. CREDICO
  154. I know!
  155.  
  156. DI PAOLO
  157. She found one of your pubes on a bar of soap! She threw up for like three days.
  158.  
  159. CREDICO
  160. Well, so did I. When I saw it. So...let me just say this.
  161.  
  162. DI PAOLO
  163. Go ahead.
  164.  
  165. CREDICO
  166. She is one of the most beautiful...and she's sharp. She is-
  167.  
  168. DI PAOLO
  169. Sharp as a tack.
  170.  
  171. CREDICO
  172. She is so...you have to get up real early, early- She's one of those that- [DI PAOLO: Yeah.] It's like- I used to work strip joints in Florida, [DI PAOLO laughs] Wait. Let me just say something.
  173.  
  174. DI PAOLO
  175. You're bringing my wife into a strip joint?!
  176.  
  177. CREDICO
  178. I wanna tell ya-
  179.  
  180. DI PAOLO
  181. She looked just like this broad Na-eesha.
  182.  
  183. CREDICO
  184. [laughs] No. They were all called like, Tangerine-
  185.  
  186. DI PAOLO
  187. Hey. Quiet for this. [said to someone else, either ANDY FIORI or CRISTINA PALUMBO]
  188.  
  189. CREDICO
  190. Tangerine, or shit like that. Right? [DI PAOLO laughs] Tangerine...
  191.  
  192. DI PAOLO
  193. Welcome Tangerine to the center stage.
  194.  
  195. CREDICO
  196. Bloody Mary, whatever, there's just...
  197.  
  198. DI PAOLO
  199. Yeah.
  200.  
  201. CREDICO
  202. But your wife...
  203.  
  204. DI PAOLO
  205. Yes. [said like someone dealing with a slow child telling a wandering story]
  206.  
  207. CREDICO
  208. And I knew her back then...it's like, you think she's from the South, or somewhere, she is very sharp. She is one of the sharpest people-
  209.  
  210. DI PAOLO
  211. You know where she grew up?
  212.  
  213. CREDICO
  214. Where?
  215.  
  216. DI PAOLO
  217. Right outside of Waterbury, Connecticut. Tiny town called Wolcott. But here's the thing-
  218.  
  219. CREDICO
  220. Yeah, but- I just wanted to tell you- Back then, she- I haven't seen her in twenty two years, I had an exchange with her, using _your_, your uuuuh Facebook, or-
  221.  
  222. DI PAOLO
  223. Yes.
  224.  
  225. CREDICO
  226. Whatever it is. [DI PAOLO: Yes.] Cuz you don't- You're like me- You're like- You and I are like Alley Oop, we don't know a fucking thing about technology.
  227.  
  228. DI PAOLO
  229. No.
  230.  
  231. CREDICO
  232. Right? So, that's why this whole Russia-gate thing-
  233.  
  234. DI PAOLO
  235. You must know a little bit about it.
  236.  
  237. CREDICO
  238. I know very little! I don't even- I- Listen, I have a hard time getting my password changed.
  239.  
  240. DI PAOLO
  241. Can I just repeat to the audience, this is the guy who was subpoenaed, the comedian who was subpoenaed. And uh, Roger...Stone, who's a friend of his- I-
  242.  
  243. CREDICO
  244. Why not? Is that bizarre? That he's a friend of mine?
  245.  
  246. DI PAOLO
  247. But he- but he- He's sortof fingered you-
  248.  
  249. CREDICO
  250. Yes. He was a rat.
  251.  
  252. DI PAOLO
  253. But you got that guy from the New Yorker, the New Yorker, who just got fired. What's his name? Laza? Liza? Sexual harassment.
  254.  
  255. CREDICO
  256. Oh, did he get fired?
  257.  
  258. DI PAOLO
  259. And he-
  260.  
  261. CREDICO
  262. Did he get fired?
  263.  
  264. DI PAOLO
  265. Yes. He posted-
  266.  
  267. CREDICO
  268. He should've been, but for posting that.
  269.  
  270. DI PAOLO
  271. He- He posted a tweet, uuuuh and- and in the tweet, Roger Stone says "See I- See I- something, I mistakenly protected Credico," I- I- have it here.
  272.  
  273. CREDICO
  274. Oh, go ahead.
  275.  
  276. DI PAOLO
  277. I have an affidavit, I have it here. I'm going to get to the bottom-
  278.  
  279. CREDICO
  280. Oh, please do.
  281.  
  282. [clip from "The Godfather Part II" plays]
  283.  
  284. DI PAOLO
  285. Here it is. Here it is. Ryan Lizza. Re-tweeted CNN Politics, "I asked Roger Stone in March if Randy Credico was his Wikileaks contact. He lied to me, and said 'No.' He just texted me, 'In a misguided effort to protect Credico, who I felt helped me on an off-the-record basis. Sorry.' Many reporters use Stone as a Trump source. Beware."
  286.  
  287. CREDICO
  288. Yeah, beware. Of him. Roger Stone is...one of the great comedians of our time. Actually, you know, I brought him into- I brought him in- I'm going to say-
  289.  
  290. DI PAOLO
  291. Don't reduce him to a comedian.
  292.  
  293. CREDICO
  294. Alright, look: the guy is a showman. And there are things that I cannot discuss right now. About Roger Stone. But I will- If I could only tell you the history...I met him in '92, 2002, I was working the Tom Golisano campaign...Tom Golisano was running against George Pataki [DI PAOLO: I remember], and so, I made, like, a hundred thousand under the table - it's too late Mueller, for you to get me on my taxes for that one. Right? That's fifteen years. I got two hundred- I got a hundred thousand dollars under the table, Mueller. Alright? It's too late and you'll never be able to trace [inaudible - maybe "those"].
  295.  
  296. DI PAOLO
  297. Tom Golisano's a lefty.
  298.  
  299. CREDICO
  300. No! Tom Golisano's a guy who did Paychex, and he was, he was a- he was just a huge, big, fat businessman, that ran, and Roger Stone goaded him to run, and he got me to do these ads, for him, against the Rockefeller drug laws, against George Pataki. So I came in, and made- And was able to make this guy look like the biggest racist...in the world. This is-
  301.  
  302. DI PAOLO
  303. You're good at that, you're good at that.
  304.  
  305. CREDICO
  306. Well yes.
  307.  
  308. DI PAOLO
  309. You made Pataki look like a racist.
  310.  
  311. CREDICO
  312. Roger Stone- Roger Stone and I were able to- And I was paid very well for this.
  313.  
  314. DI PAOLO
  315. Wait a minute. Who is Roger Stone- Was in Golisano's camp?
  316.  
  317. CREDICO
  318. He- Yes. He was running his campaign. And he brought me in, because it was a three way race, and Golisano was looking for an issue, and the hot issue back in nine- two thousand two [2002], was the Rockefeller Drug Law. Movement. Which is what I spent five years, seven years of my life working on, and getting people out of prison, organizing, getting people out of prisons, and that became the biggest issue, and everybody parachuted in-
  319.  
  320. DI PAOLO
  321. Can I ask a question?
  322.  
  323. CREDICO
  324. [does Cuomo] There's the guy, Andrew Cuomo, as if he gave a fuck about anybody, he's up there in Westchester, with Ms. Sondra Lee, living off of her winnings, her losings, and I was fucking around with Car- one of these Kennedys, I'm a giggolo. Alright? He's the biggest giggolo I've ever met in my entire life, Andrew Cuomo, DON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKE ABOUT IT! Can you believe what a bad speaker he is?
  325.  
  326. DI PAOLO
  327. Who? Cuomo?
  328.  
  329. CREDICO
  330. We go off on tangents. You know that.
  331.  
  332. DI PAOLO
  333. Pataki?
  334.  
  335. CREDICO
  336. The only way I can do a two hour show is to go off on tangents.
  337.  
  338. DI PAOLO
  339. Well, I can pick up some of the slack. You're not doing blow anymore, right?
  340.  
  341. CREDICO
  342. [inaudible, doing Cuomo] -this guy is the Fredo, I don't know who the Fredo is. There are two Fredos, Chris Cuomo and Andrew Cuomo. I'M THE REAL FREDO.
  343.  
  344. [clip from "Godfather Part II" plays, the Fredo "I'm smart! And I want respect!" scene]
  345.  
  346. CREDICO
  347. Fredo, you're nothing to me now.
  348.  
  349. DI PAOLO
  350. You're not a brother...
  351.  
  352. CREDICO
  353. Andrew...Andrew...
  354.  
  355. DI PAOLO
  356. You're not a brother...You're not a shoemaker...
  357.  
  358. CREDICO
  359. You're not a shoemaker...I don't want anything to happen to you...
  360.  
  361. DI PAOLO
  362. You're not a tire salesman...
  363.  
  364. CREDICO
  365. ...while my mother's still alive.
  366.  
  367. DI PAOLO
  368. 866-9669-1969.
  369.  
  370. CREDICO
  371. "I was in the olive oil business with Nick's father, but that was a long time ago! They said Nick DiPaolo this, yaheyaaaaah Nick and I...we ran around. They're all lies!"
  372.  
  373. DI PAOLO
  374. Here's you are, if you went to Washington.
  375.  
  376. [plays clip of "Godfather Part II", with Frank Pentangeli testifying before the House committee]
  377.  
  378. CREDICO
  379. "I didn't know nothing about Nick! People say, did you ever hang out with Nick DiPaolo? I knew him! I knew Nick in Boston, the olive oil business. In the North Side. Him and the Log Cabin, but that's a long time ago."
  380.  
  381. DI PAOLO
  382. "They said uuuuuh DiPaolo's telling dick jokes, I said 'Yeah! Sure! Sure.'"
  383.  
  384. CREDICO
  385. "Yeah! Nick was doing dick jokes, I said 'Yeah!' He was doing dick jokes, he's a racist, yeah, whatever you want me to say."
  386.  
  387. DI PAOLO
  388. Got the guy next to me who might be the leaker of these Wikileaks and- and- and we haven't even fucking-
  389.  
  390. CREDICO
  391. I gotta go now, you know that. There are two beautiful women next door.
  392.  
  393. DI PAOLO
  394. You told me you knew who the leaker was.
  395.  
  396. CREDICO
  397. What's the name of the place? San Francisco?
  398.  
  399. DI PAOLO
  400. Del Frisco's.
  401.  
  402. CREDICO
  403. Yes.
  404.  
  405. DI PAOLO
  406. You told me last night, when you were on the show, Randy, you said "I know who the leaker is." [CREDICO is talking inaudibly under this]
  407.  
  408. CREDICO
  409. I know who the leaker is. I've had him on my show [reference to Craig Murray, who would say there and elsewhere that he knows who the DNC leaker is, not that he _was_ the leaker; link to transcript of the Murray show: https://pastebin.com/cz7gDRBK audio excerpt of Murray claiming this can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuwlzoFmLFI ].
  410.  
  411. DI PAOLO
  412. There's a hint.
  413.  
  414. CREDICO
  415. I've had the leaker on my show.
  416.  
  417. DI PAOLO
  418. [Christina] Palumbo [producer of "The Nick Di Paolo Show"] or [Andy] Fiori [producer of "The Nick Di Paolo Show"], get on it. Let's see who's been on his show in the last ten months.
  419.  
  420. CREDICO
  421. Good.
  422.  
  423. DI PAOLO
  424. And we'll narrow it down. It'll be Merv Griffin's ghost, or a comedian named Gregory [inaudible]-
  425.  
  426. CREDICO
  427. You know what Jackie Gayle said about Merv Griffin? If he didn't have his own show, he wouldn't be on anybody else's.
  428.  
  429. DI PAOLO
  430. [laughs] Jackie Gayle. Now you're showing your age, you're doing a Jackie Gayle reference.
  431.  
  432. CREDICO
  433. Nobody knows who Jackie Gayle is. He's the one who said...Jackie was a great comedian.
  434.  
  435. DI PAOLO
  436. I loved him! [pause] CLARK! [presumably a reference to Gayle]
  437.  
  438. CREDICO
  439. I was talking about the Italian 500. First one that starts their engine wins. [there seems to be complete silence in reaction to this]
  440.  
  441. DI PAOLO
  442. That would be racist today in the circles that you run in.
  443.  
  444. CREDICO
  445. But I'm Italian...actually, it was a Puerto Rican joke.
  446.  
  447. DI PAOLO
  448. Randy...Randy's a far left guy...
  449.  
  450. CREDICO
  451. Don't you have to go to a commercial now?
  452.  
  453. DI PAOLO
  454. No. No no. This is fucking satellite radio. You can yap all you want, they're half hour segments. Trust me.
  455.  
  456. CREDICO
  457. Are you serious?
  458.  
  459. DI PAOLO
  460. Yes.
  461.  
  462. CREDICO
  463. How do you get away with that?
  464.  
  465. DI PAOLO
  466. How do you get away with it? The question should be: how do you do that, Nick? Fucking tell me.
  467.  
  468. CREDICO
  469. No, how do you do, like, f- Four twenty minute spots.
  470.  
  471. DI PAOLO
  472. Hey-
  473.  
  474. CREDICO
  475. Well, I was able to do it, but I always had a lot of great guests-
  476.  
  477. DI PAOLO
  478. No, they're thirty minute- twenty five minute spots.
  479.  
  480. CREDICO
  481. Ah no, get out of here.
  482.  
  483. DI PAOLO
  484. And I have no guests!
  485.  
  486. CREDICO
  487. Sometimes you have no guests, no phone calls.
  488.  
  489. DI PAOLO
  490. No, I get phone calls. This-
  491.  
  492. CREDICO
  493. Is that what you do?
  494.  
  495. DI PAOLO
  496. Yeah. It's like working the audience.
  497.  
  498. CREDICO
  499. "Play Misty for Me".
  500.  
  501. DI PAOLO
  502. Oh, that's right! That was a Clint Eastwood movie back in the seventies.
  503.  
  504. CREDICO
  505. Yes. With uh...what's her name. She was really good looking.
  506.  
  507. DI PAOLO
  508. And he was a radio show host?
  509.  
  510. CREDICO
  511. He was a radio show host, and what was her name? What was the name of the woman?
  512.  
  513. DI PAOLO
  514. Annette Benning.
  515.  
  516. CREDICO
  517. No. It wasn't Annette Benning. It was-
  518.  
  519. DI PAOLO
  520. Lucille Ball.
  521.  
  522. CREDICO
  523. No, he's got-
  524.  
  525. DI PAOLO
  526. Ethel fucking Merman.
  527.  
  528. CREDICO
  529. No, it was- Jon Ishkabibble. I don't know who the fuck it was. But it was certainly..._not_ Joanie, who was Kelly Rogers ex-girlfriend. Alright?
  530.  
  531. DI PAOLO
  532. Did I mention Credico...
  533.  
  534. CREDICO
  535. Wait a second. Did you find out the name of that person?
  536.  
  537. FIORI
  538. I'm looking.
  539.  
  540. CREDICO
  541. Who are we talking about?
  542.  
  543. DI PAOLO
  544. What, the actress? Ali MacGraw?
  545.  
  546. CREDICO
  547. No, it was not Ali- "Play Misty for Me".
  548.  
  549. DI PAOLO
  550. I'm around it. I have the right era.
  551.  
  552. FIORI
  553. Jessica Walter.
  554.  
  555. CREDICO
  556. Jessica Walter. Alright. That's the last film that she did.
  557.  
  558. DI PAOLO
  559. Jessica Walter? Who's that dirty whore?
  560.  
  561. CREDICO
  562. She went from being thirty to like, ninety, overnight. And nobody knows...
  563.  
  564. DI PAOLO
  565. Must have been doing the same drugs you are.
  566.  
  567. FIORI
  568. This broad.
  569.  
  570. CREDICO
  571. Yeah. Don't say the word "broad" here, I'm gonna get in a lot of trouble, as it is, with you guy.s
  572.  
  573. DI PAOLO
  574. I meant twat.
  575.  
  576. CREDICO
  577. But he looked good. I saw him on an episode of "Rawhide" the other day. Clint Eastwood.
  578.  
  579. DI PAOLO
  580. Look at her. That was before [inaudible].
  581.  
  582. CREDICO
  583. I know. But I saw him in a- Because I watch- I watch Channel three. On files.
  584.  
  585. DI PAOLO
  586. Did you see the face he did? This is a thirty nine year old guy, they are so spoiled when it comes to looking at broads. He's been- you know. He's been looking at snatch-
  587.  
  588. CREDICO
  589. I'm already, like, roughed up with Roger Stone. I'm gonna have two guys talking about-
  590.  
  591. DI PAOLO
  592. Can we get- Can we get Roger Stone to call in?
  593.  
  594. CREDICO
  595. 202 262-
  596.  
  597. FIORI
  598. Don't say his- Don't tell his number over the air.
  599.  
  600. DI PAOLO
  601. Why not?
  602.  
  603. CREDICO
  604. I'll give it to you.
  605.  
  606. FIORI
  607. Because then-
  608.  
  609. DI PAOLO
  610. Then what?
  611.  
  612. FIORI
  613. We can't- Tell it to me off air.
  614.  
  615. CREDICO
  616. Well, alright. But you're never off air.
  617.  
  618. FIORI
  619. Yes, we will be.
  620.  
  621. DI PAOLO
  622. This is a rebel show, by the way.
  623.  
  624. CREDICO
  625. You wanna get Roger Stone on the phone?
  626.  
  627. DI PAOLO
  628. Yes!
  629.  
  630. CREDICO
  631. Alright. So, we'll get him on the phone.
  632.  
  633. FIORI
  634. Text it.
  635.  
  636. DI PAOLO
  637. Get him on the phone. He was going to do the show. But he was caught in traffic, winkwink.
  638.  
  639. CREDICO
  640. Alright, we're gonna call Roger Stone. I'm gonna-
  641.  
  642. FIORI
  643. Christina [Palumbo] will call him.
  644.  
  645. DI PAOLO
  646. Alright, Clark please.
  647.  
  648. CREDICO
  649. I'm gonna give you the number here.
  650.  
  651. DI PAOLO
  652. I saw the broad, I saw her tits. 1975.
  653.  
  654. CREDICO
  655. I gotta call him up first. Cuz he's pinning this whole fucking...scandal on me. He's- like, I-
  656.  
  657. DI PAOLO
  658. Can you get Assange on the line tonight? I'll blow you right here, if you get Assange on.
  659.  
  660. CREDICO
  661. So would I. I'd blow myself if I'd get him on the line. He'll be listening tomorrow.
  662.  
  663. DI PAOLO
  664. It hurts your back.
  665.  
  666. FIORI
  667. Christine will take his number.
  668.  
  669. CREDICO
  670. Christine, if you can take this number: 202 262-
  671.  
  672. DI PAOLO
  673. NONONONONONONO!!!
  674.  
  675. CREDICO
  676. I just gave her the first seven numbers.
  677.  
  678. CHRISTINA PALUMBO
  679. Don't.
  680.  
  681. CREDICO
  682. 202 262...
  683.  
  684. DI PAOLO
  685. Don't do that.
  686.  
  687. PALUMBO
  688. [screaming]
  689.  
  690. CREDICO
  691. Three zero- [so the number is: 202-262-30xx]
  692.  
  693. PALUMBO
  694. STOP IT!
  695.  
  696. DI PAOLO
  697. No! Don't say it out loud! I told you he was a loose cannon. Oh my god.
  698.  
  699. CREDICO
  700. Say that Randy Credico called, and I'll see him in hell.
  701.  
  702. DI PAOLO
  703. I got a feeling I'd love Roger Stone if I met him.
  704.  
  705. CREDICO
  706. No, he's actually a great guy to hang out with. This is-
  707.  
  708. DI PAOLO
  709. He would like me too, wouldn't he?
  710.  
  711. CREDICO
  712. Yes, he'd like to hang out with you, but the thing is, the guy, like you, he's socially liberal, right? And-
  713.  
  714. DI PAOLO
  715. Yes. He marched in the gay parade, I saw that in the movie ["Get Me Roger Stone"].
  716.  
  717. CREDICO
  718. He marched in the gay parade.
  719.  
  720. DI PAOLO
  721. So did my producer.
  722.  
  723. CREDICO
  724. So did I. I dressed in drag, when I ran against- I'd do anything to get votes. I got twenty thousand votes, and Sal Albanese ran behind me.
  725.  
  726. DI PAOLO
  727. When you ran against who? Cuomo?
  728.  
  729. CREDICO
  730. The uh-
  731.  
  732. DI PAOLO
  733. The mayor.
  734.  
  735. CREDICO
  736. The German mayor. Bill De Blasio. Keeps calling himself De Blasio. Have you ever seen a fucking Italian-
  737.  
  738. DI PAOLO
  739. And you got two percent.
  740.  
  741. CREDICO
  742. His real last name-
  743.  
  744. DI PAOLO
  745. And you got two percent.
  746.  
  747. CREDICO
  748. -is Werner. Is Werner Wilhelm.
  749.  
  750. DI PAOLO
  751. That's German!
  752.  
  753. CREDICO
  754. Werner Wilhelm. But how could a fuck- you run for mayor, in the city of New York, with a German last name? So he changed it. "I thought it was the right thing to do."
  755.  
  756. DI PAOLO
  757. He's German?!
  758.  
  759. CREDICO
  760. Yes!
  761.  
  762. DI PAOLO
  763. He's not Italian?!
  764.  
  765. CREDICO
  766. His real name is-
  767.  
  768. DI PAOLO
  769. Werner Klemperer? [actor on the series "Hogan's Heroes"]
  770.  
  771. CREDICO
  772. Werner Wilhelm.
  773.  
  774. DI PAOLO
  775. HO-GAN!!!
  776.  
  777. CREDICO
  778. Werner Wilhelm.
  779.  
  780. DI PAOLO
  781. HO-GAN!!!
  782.  
  783. CREDICO
  784. Listen: he's the tallest fucking Italian American in the history of the human race.
  785.  
  786. DI PAOLO
  787. Taller than Wilt Chamberlain?
  788.  
  789. CREDICO
  790. No.
  791.  
  792. DI PAOLO
  793. Chamberlain was half Italian.
  794.  
  795. CREDICO
  796. Listen: he's the only Italian American-
  797.  
  798. DI PAOLO
  799. He's Black. He's got Italian blood in him.
  800.  
  801. CREDICO
  802. -that's over six- He's six eleven. Six foot eleven. He's the only Italian American, this guy-
  803.  
  804. DI PAOLO
  805. Look at Lou Groza.
  806.  
  807. CREDICO
  808. Lou Groza was five eleven. The second tallest was Caesar, who was four eleven.
  809.  
  810. DI PAOLO
  811. Randy, hold on. Hold on. I just have to- Because you-
  812.  
  813. CREDICO
  814. Lou Groza was a toe.
  815.  
  816. DI PAOLO
  817. No, I know. He was a kicker for the Cleveland Browns, like in the fifties, and he
  818.  
  819. CREDICO
  820. -used to tackle too-
  821.  
  822. DI PAOLO
  823. But I gotta tell you, when you referenced Lou Groza, this was the Comedy Cellar twenty something years ago, we're looking at some broad, she was sitting a couple tables away, and we thought- We were having an argument about whether she was- Whether she was hot or not, and Randy [laughing] looks at her feet, and goes, "She's got feet on her like Lou Groza."
  824.  
  825. CREDICO
  826. I said that? My god, I'm going to have every feminist in the world-
  827.  
  828. DI PAOLO
  829. I use it on-stage to this day, in front of twentysomethings. Even my dad forgets who Lou Groza is.
  830.  
  831. CREDICO
  832. There's a woman Mike Reynolds once set me up with, and she was like, it was a horrible situation. I said: it was the worst lover in my life. And I said- well, she was like-
  833.  
  834. DI PAOLO
  835. Judy Gold.
  836.  
  837. CREDICO
  838. No. It was- I called her va-voom.
  839.  
  840. DI PAOLO
  841. She's French.
  842.  
  843. CREDICO
  844. I called her va-voom - you ever see-
  845.  
  846. DI PAOLO
  847. She had a big hole, you said?
  848.  
  849. CREDICO
  850. No, I did not see-
  851.  
  852. [clip from "Godfather Part II" plays, the cake eating scene]
  853.  
  854. DI PAOLO
  855. She got a big- She had a big-
  856.  
  857. CREDICO
  858. I said, I said she was not a great lover. And I called her va-voom, and Mike Reynolds, like, extrapolated from-
  859.  
  860. DI PAOLO
  861. Mike Reynolds, by the way, comedian, used to get a ton of ass.
  862.  
  863. CREDICO
  864. Mike Reynolds-
  865.  
  866. DI PAOLO
  867. Yeah, handsome Irish guy-
  868.  
  869. CREDICO
  870. -nose changed.
  871.  
  872. DI PAOLO
  873. Oh yeah.
  874.  
  875. CREDICO
  876. The nose changed, it changed his love life. Alright?
  877.  
  878. DI PAOLO
  879. He busted his nose- No, he went-
  880.  
  881. CREDICO
  882. He went from looking like the guy-
  883.  
  884. DI PAOLO
  885. He went to get his nose changed-
  886.  
  887. CREDICO
  888. -Johnny Cool [cartoon character that used to appear in Camel cigarette advertising, a camel with a large nose]
  889.  
  890. DI PAOLO
  891. He went to get his nose fixed, right? Handsome fucking Irish guy. Colin Quinn's one of his close friends. Goes to get his nose fixed, the guy f- The doctor fucks it up. He's got a nose like a boxer.
  892.  
  893. CREDICO
  894. It looks like that scene- That episode of the "Twilight Zone" where this beautiful woman, they make her face look like...a horse? You know what I mean? ["The Eye of the Beholder" link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Eye_of_the_Beholder ]
  895.  
  896. DI PAOLO
  897. [laughs] No, I don't know what you mean.
  898.  
  899. CREDICO
  900. It's like putting a mustache on the Mona Lisa. That's what they did to Mike Reynolds. And he stopped getting laid after that. And he started suing-
  901.  
  902. DI PAOLO
  903. He looked like he lost sixty pro-fights.
  904.  
  905. CREDICO
  906. It's- I know he did. Like-
  907.  
  908. DI PAOLO
  909. No collagen in his nose.
  910.  
  911. CREDICO
  912. I don't know what happened to him, but- I know he's suing- He's upset, but it was too late. They- they- drilled out- It's like...you remember the Marx Brothers film where the guy trims off the entire mustache, Groucho- I mean, Chico, and Harpo- The guy's sitting there, he wants a hot shave, and instead of giving him a trim, they cut off the whole fucking mustache- [from "Monkey Business"]
  913.  
  914. DI PAOLO
  915. I gotta remind him the audience is under seventy.
  916.  
  917. CREDICO
  918. "You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you can leave in a huff." [from "Duck Soup" - a favorite quote of Credico's]
  919.  
  920. DI PAOLO
  921. You're not doing the Fred Dicker show in Albany.
  922.  
  923. CREDICO
  924. This is- This is a younger crowd here.
  925.  
  926. DI PAOLO
  927. It is.
  928.  
  929. CREDICO
  930. Do your research. Watch the Marx Brothers, and the two women at the Francica bar [sic - presumably, he means Del Frico's], I'll be there in an hour and a half.
  931.  
  932. DI PAOLO
  933. Before we get there, before Roger Stone calls- Give me your opinion on what happened in Alabama, last night, with Roy Moore- This really is not a reflection of the Democratic-
  934.  
  935. CREDICO
  936. Aw listen, you're not going to get me into supporting your right wing agenda here.
  937.  
  938. DI PAOLO
  939. No, I'm not. Nono-
  940.  
  941. CREDICO
  942. But I gotta tell ya something, the guy should have won by a million votes, instead of twenty thousand. Alright? The guy should have won by a million votes.
  943.  
  944. DI PAOLO
  945. Why?
  946.  
  947. CREDICO
  948. Well, he did- Doug Jones- Doug Jones- The fact of the matter is- They held their ground- They held their ground- It's not good for the Democrats. Plus, I will tell you this: that, the fact is, that McConnell and these guys are thrilled that this guy didn't make it.
  949.  
  950. DI PAOLO
  951. I know, I know.
  952.  
  953. CREDICO
  954. Thrilled that he didn't make it.
  955.  
  956. DI PAOLO
  957. And they're to the left of you.
  958.  
  959. CREDICO
  960. And this is a pyrrhic victory for the Democrats.
  961.  
  962. DI PAOLO
  963. A pyrrhic victory!
  964.  
  965. CREDICO
  966. Yes.
  967.  
  968. DI PAOLO
  969. That's what I said!
  970.  
  971. CREDICO
  972. Yes.
  973.  
  974. DI PAOLO
  975. To my wife! I even used the word pyrrhic!
  976.  
  977. CREDICO
  978. Yes. They got rid of this guy, they don't have a- his- you know, persona, defining the Republican Party, this is something-
  979.  
  980. DI PAOLO
  981. You say it's a pyrrhic victory for the Democrats.
  982.  
  983. CREDICO
  984. Yes, the Democrats. The Democrats- it was a big loss for them. It was pathetic for them.
  985.  
  986. DI PAOLO
  987. For who? IT WAS A BIG LOSS FOR WHO?
  988.  
  989. CREDICO
  990. For the Democrats!
  991.  
  992. DI PAOLO
  993. You just said it was a pyrrhic victory for the Democrats!
  994.  
  995. CREDICO
  996. The Democrats-
  997.  
  998. DI PAOLO
  999. Oh, I get you.
  1000.  
  1001. CREDICO
  1002. In other words, the Democrats won this, but they lost it, alright?
  1003.  
  1004. DI PAOLO
  1005. Yes.
  1006.  
  1007. CREDICO
  1008. Alright? They lost it because-
  1009.  
  1010. DI PAOLO
  1011. Tell them why.
  1012.  
  1013. CREDICO
  1014. Because they don't have...the Republicans don't have this guy...in their house anymore. It's [inaudible]-
  1015.  
  1016. DI PAOLO
  1017. The baggage is gone.
  1018.  
  1019. CREDICO
  1020. It's gone...and they could have used-
  1021.  
  1022. DI PAOLO
  1023. It's gone.
  1024.  
  1025. CREDICO
  1026. If he was with them-
  1027.  
  1028. DI PAOLO
  1029. Can I play devil's advocate on you? [CREDICO: Yeah.] They're gonna use this...now, that fucking that uh-
  1030.  
  1031. CREDICO
  1032. Don't tell me Chuck Schumer's some left-winger, alright? Chuck Schumer is a fucking Wall Street whore.
  1033.  
  1034. DI PAOLO
  1035. But they're gonna use this as an excuse to turn on Trump now. The sexual harassment stuff.
  1036.  
  1037. CREDICO
  1038. I don't- I don't think so.
  1039.  
  1040. DI PAOLO
  1041. Because Moore lost, and this is proof-
  1042.  
  1043. CREDICO
  1044. Kirsten Gillibrand can't do it, because-
  1045.  
  1046. DI PAOLO
  1047. They're gonna take the moral high ground-
  1048.  
  1049. CREDICO
  1050. She worked for the tobacco industry for twenty fucking years.
  1051.  
  1052. DI PAOLO
  1053. That's got nothing to do with it.
  1054.  
  1055. CREDICO
  1056. Kirsten Gillibrand.
  1057.  
  1058. DI PAOLO
  1059. There are pictures of her and Bill Clinton.
  1060.  
  1061. CREDICO
  1062. I know about her, and- and uh a guy by the name of Charlie King. Alright? I know all about-
  1063.  
  1064. DI PAOLO
  1065. Who? Chucky King?
  1066.  
  1067. CREDICO
  1068. Charlie King. He ran for attorney general-
  1069.  
  1070. DI PAOLO
  1071. He's a point guard, for the fucking...
  1072.  
  1073. CREDICO
  1074. Yes.
  1075.  
  1076. DI PAOLO
  1077. Supersonics.
  1078.  
  1079. CREDICO
  1080. -was...so was...so was Bill De Blasio, he was a- he was a center for the Italian team from Milan. Six foot eleven Italian guy...
  1081.  
  1082. DI PAOLO
  1083. [laughing] Okay. Focus.
  1084.  
  1085. CREDICO
  1086. How does anybody- I want to get back to that! How does anyone six foot eleven- Rip Van Wink- like, I call him, because he sleeps a fucking a lot. Rip Van Willhelm, because he's German. Rip Van Willhelm.
  1087.  
  1088. DI PAOLO
  1089. You know why he sleeps late? To get the Black vote. [laughs]
  1090.  
  1091. CREDICO
  1092. Oh, that is the most- That's the crudest thing I've ever-
  1093.  
  1094. DI PAOLO
  1095. That's right on the money.
  1096.  
  1097. CREDICO
  1098. That's something- Huh?
  1099.  
  1100. DI PAOLO
  1101. Anybody who argues with that is dead inside. Bill De Blasio's kid has an afro, Bill De Blasio shows up at press conferences late, and Black people are "I like this! This guy's on Black time, we're gonna vote for this motherfucker."
  1102.  
  1103. CREDICO
  1104. Oh my god- You can't be saying that on television.
  1105.  
  1106. DI PAOLO
  1107. Randy, your thoughts? Randy, you half a fucking Italian Indian, your thoughts?
  1108.  
  1109. CREDICO
  1110. I'm Native American.
  1111.  
  1112. DI PAOLO
  1113. There's no such thing.
  1114.  
  1115. CREDICO
  1116. And I totally disagree.
  1117.  
  1118. DI PAOLO
  1119. I was born- I was born- I was born in this country- I'M A NATIVE AMERICAN! YOU LEFT WING MOTHERFUCKER!
  1120.  
  1121. CREDICO
  1122. I thought he was going to leave the reactionary shit at home tonight, and we were just going to have a nice conversation-
  1123.  
  1124. DI PAOLO
  1125. I'm a reactionary, now.
  1126.  
  1127. CREDICO
  1128. I have no idea what your politics are, but: you're funny. That's the thing. I can actually sit down and go to- watch him on- my brother was his biggest fan. I said this last night.
  1129.  
  1130. DI PAOLO
  1131. And your brother is...
  1132.  
  1133. CREDICO
  1134. "Let's watch Nick DiPaolo!" I said "That motherfucker is-"
  1135.  
  1136. DI PAOLO
  1137. And your brother's name is Paladino.
  1138.  
  1139. CREDICO
  1140. Richard Credico. The late Richard Credico. He died 2009.
  1141.  
  1142. DI PAOLO
  1143. I'm sorry to hear this.
  1144.  
  1145. CREDICO
  1146. I was at his house in Columbus, Ohio-
  1147.  
  1148. DI PAOLO
  1149. If those Rockefeller laws were working, he'd still be alive.
  1150.  
  1151. CREDICO
  1152. Way- way back in 2009, we were watching you, just absolutely adored- And a lot of my friends-
  1153.  
  1154. DI PAOLO
  1155. A lot of people do.
  1156.  
  1157. CREDICO
  1158. I was talking to Jimmy Dore, who's like, to the left like I am, and we say- "We don't agree with Nick's politics, but he's funny, he's a great stage comic!" Alright? He's a great comic on stage, he's got incredible delivery- And he's funny-
  1159.  
  1160. DI PAOLO
  1161. On stage. Where else would you find a comic, roofing? What the fuck?
  1162.  
  1163. CREDICO
  1164. Yeah, you're right. Playing pinball. Alright?
  1165.  
  1166. DI PAOLO
  1167. He's a great stage comic. As opposed to those comics that do comedy in their driveway.
  1168.  
  1169. CREDICO
  1170. There are some guys that- Jolson was a great nightclub performer-
  1171.  
  1172. DI PAOLO
  1173. And a good second baseman.
  1174.  
  1175. CREDICO
  1176. Did he play second base? That was Alabai Haight?
  1177.  
  1178. [plays clip of Pastor James Manning, "There's something wrong with the black man's mind!"]
  1179.  
  1180. CREDICO
  1181. Now, I'm not a big fan of that guy myself, because he's so-
  1182.  
  1183. DI PAOLO
  1184. The Reverend? From Franklin? From Atlanta?
  1185.  
  1186. CREDICO
  1187. Who is that?
  1188.  
  1189. DI PAOLO
  1190. That's the Pastor Franklin [Jentezen Franklin, a pro-Trump Black pastor - the clip played is from Manning].
  1191.  
  1192. CREDICO
  1193. I have no idea. But you're a Charles Barkley fan, you both-
  1194.  
  1195. DI PAOLO
  1196. I love Barkley.
  1197.  
  1198. CREDICO
  1199. Alright, you see what he said, right?
  1200.  
  1201. DI PAOLO
  1202. Lately?
  1203.  
  1204. CREDICO
  1205. He said yesterday, that the Democratic Party - this was a...wake-up call for the Democrats, the Democrats have taken the Black vote for granted. For a long fucking time. And that includes Chuck Schumer, Kirsten Gillibrand, Bill De Blasio - they have done nothing for people of color. [DI PAOLO gives the call-in number over this] Alright? So, I ran against Schumer, and I ran against De Blasio, [does Cuomo] and I ran against Andrew Cuomo, I'm a great speaker, please! I'm not like everyone else thinks I am! I'm not a bad speaker! I'm a good speaker! I was, I was, jump all over me. For you, Chris Cuomo! Taking it for you! I want some respect! [does Michael Corleone as Chris Cuomo] That's not what Papa Mario wanted. [back to Andrew Cuomo] It's the way I wanted! I want to be treated!
  1206.  
  1207. ["The Godfather Part II" clip plays, of Fredo yelling "I'm not dumb! I'm smart!"]
  1208.  
  1209. CREDICO
  1210. Boy, that was a great role. That's one of the great roles of all time. You know, I always watch it-
  1211.  
  1212. DI PAOLO
  1213. You know who originally was going to get that role? You don't even know this. Bob Denver. Remember Gilligan?
  1214.  
  1215. CREDICO
  1216. Really? I know one thing. I know how Al- I know who became Sollozzo. [does Don Corleone] "I must say no, and I give my reasons. It's true that, uh, drugs is a dirty business. Doesn't matter, whatever you say, it's just that your business is a little dangerous." [does Sollozzo] "If you're worried about protection-" [it's Sonny's line, but doesn't do Sonny] "Wait a second, are you trying to tell me-" [does Don Corleone] "I spoil my children as you can see, my no is final, good luck with your fucking business, I'm not going to help you, and I know you're going to try to murder me." Alright? So. So, you go back to that.
  1217.  
  1218. DI PAOLO
  1219. I gotta break, but go ahead.
  1220.  
  1221. CREDICO
  1222. Go, take the break.
  1223.  
  1224. DI PAOLO
  1225. Let me take the break.
  1226.  
  1227. CREDICO
  1228. [does Don Corleone] I want to thank Emilio Barzini, for arranging this meeting, and all the other Dons, [inaudible] from Chicago [this is far from an exact quote from the movie, and in the movie, the Don thanks no one from Chicago, nor is the mentioned]. Barzini lost a friend- [leaves Corleone] Alright. [back to Corleone] It was Barzini all along. [does Hagan] You mean Sollozzo. You mean - Tataglia. [does Corleone] Tataglia's a pimp. He could never have outfought uuuuuuh-
  1229.  
  1230. DI PAOLO
  1231. Sonny.
  1232.  
  1233. CREDICO
  1234. [doing Corleone] Santino. But I didn't know until this very day...Another pezzonovante... [sic - this, famously is Michael's line dismissing these figures - they're all men pulled by our strings] [leaves Don Corleone] Alright, let's go.
  1235.  
  1236. DI PAOLO
  1237. President-
  1238.  
  1239. CREDICO
  1240. I know every fucking scene from that movie.
  1241.  
  1242. DI PAOLO
  1243. We'll get there, pop.
  1244.  
  1245. CREDICO
  1246. I'll watch it again.
  1247.  
  1248. DI PAOLO
  1249. We'll get there, pop. We'll get there, pop.
  1250.  
  1251. CREDICO
  1252. [back to Don Corleone] There wasn't enough time, Michael. There's not enough time...remember. The guy who comes to you, he's the traitor. And remember-
  1253.  
  1254. DI PAOLO
  1255. A senator Corleone, maybe a Sirius XM Corleone show-
  1256.  
  1257. CREDICO
  1258. [still Corleone] You could've been a Sirius XM host...but uh...
  1259.  
  1260. DI PAOLO
  1261. Let's take a break here.
  1262.  
  1263. CREDICO
  1264. [still Corleone] I'm not a hack comic...
  1265.  
  1266. DI PAOLO
  1267. I'm sitting next to a guy who's subpoenaed in a world fucking story, and we're doing-
  1268.  
  1269. CREDICO
  1270. It's all right now, this fucking guy David Corn is shitting on me. Do you know this guy from MSNBC?
  1271.  
  1272. DI PAOLO
  1273. Yeah. Yeah.
  1274.  
  1275. CREDICO
  1276. This guy is shitting on me.
  1277.  
  1278. DI PAOLO
  1279. He makes you look like Strom Thurmmond. I gotta go to break.
  1280.  
  1281. CREDICO
  1282. [doing Strom Thurmmond] Pe king qua fied be on Supreme Court [Peter King is qualified to be on Supreme Court].
  1283.  
  1284. DI PAOLO
  1285. [laughing] I gotta go to break. 866-969-1969, if you guys want to ask Randy anything about the Assange, Wikileaks, Hillary Clinton, fucking thick ankled dogface, he knows all the stuff, and he's good friends with Roger Stone. So...we got a live one here tonight. Alright folks, back after this.
  1286.  
  1287. [break]
  1288.  
  1289. CREDICO
  1290. You and I should do a show together.
  1291.  
  1292. DI PAOLO
  1293. [unenthusiastic - he's gotten this offer from other comedians, a lot] Yeah.
  1294.  
  1295. CREDICO
  1296. Besides this show here.
  1297.  
  1298. DI PAOLO
  1299. Let's call it "The Fucking Gay Couple".
  1300.  
  1301. CREDICO
  1302. A- a- a- We should do a- some kind of, remember those shows back in the seventies or eighties...
  1303.  
  1304. DI PAOLO
  1305. Oh. "Theater of the Mind" type of shit?
  1306.  
  1307. CREDICO
  1308. No. It was...it was the...it was like, you had a guy on the left and a guy on the right. "Crossfire"!
  1309.  
  1310. DI PAOLO
  1311. "Crossfire".
  1312.  
  1313. CREDICO
  1314. Alright, but we'd be a real "Crossfire". Because we could have some fun with it. We're both humorous guys, and-
  1315.  
  1316. DI PAOLO
  1317. Yeah, but politically, y-you're- I mean, you're immersed in it.
  1318.  
  1319. CREDICO
  1320. No one knows my politics. I do a...right wing show, every Friday. For the last thirteen years.
  1321.  
  1322. DI PAOLO
  1323. Yeah, the Fred Dicker show ["Live from the State Capitol / Focus on the State Capitol"].
  1324.  
  1325. CREDICO
  1326. The Fred Dicker show. Look at Fred Dicker.
  1327.  
  1328. DI PAOLO
  1329. He's big in Albany. And Buffalo.
  1330.  
  1331. CREDICO
  1332. He's very big in Albany- He was the state-
  1333.  
  1334. DI PAOLO
  1335. And some of the Indian tribes like him.
  1336.  
  1337. CREDICO
  1338. He's big in the state - state-wide...
  1339.  
  1340. DI PAOLO
  1341. [inaudible]
  1342.  
  1343. CREDICO
  1344. He was the state- state-wide editor of the New York Post. He brought down Eliot Spitzer-
  1345.  
  1346. DI PAOLO
  1347. Ooooh! I like him!
  1348.  
  1349. CREDICO
  1350. Alright? He brought down a lot of fucking governors...Mario Cuomo wanted to kill him, so, this is a guy, a very powerful guy - for some reason-
  1351.  
  1352. DI PAOLO
  1353. [bored] Yeah?
  1354.  
  1355. CREDICO
  1356. He likes me. And it's the same reason why, when I'm in California, driving up, from L.A. up 101, that seven hour drive, because I can't take 5 or 99-
  1357.  
  1358. DI PAOLO
  1359. [bored] Yes?
  1360.  
  1361. CREDICO
  1362. So I take 101, going through all that shit, and the fires, and everything.
  1363.  
  1364. DI PAOLO
  1365. Yeah. Calabasas.
  1366.  
  1367. CREDICO
  1368. I will listen to- Yes, and where the big dam, like, burst. Out there. The big dam that burst because of Mr. Mulholland. [does a Nicholson, that doesn't sound like him] You want Mr. Mulholland? That's the movie with Jack Nicholson. Remember? You, uh, built the dam- [reference to "Chinatown", though nothing like these lines are in the movie, and the villain isn't "Mr. Mulholland", but Noah Cross] Uuuuuh-
  1369.  
  1370. DI PAOLO
  1371. Can I go to the phones? We've got a question for you.
  1372.  
  1373. CREDICO
  1374. I know. There's going to be a question. Look, we have a lot of time to fucking burn. We're only doing a second segment, and I'm burning out. I mean, I'm like a rum runner here tonight.
  1375.  
  1376. DI PAOLO
  1377. You don't have to stay the whole time.
  1378.  
  1379. CREDICO
  1380. I'm going to stay the whole time. [does Frank Pentangeli] I was in the olive oil business with Nick's father! But that was a long time ago! [drops out of Pentangeli] So. We are going to just kindof- ad lib this, which is good, which is good. We're actually going to go through this, and what I expect from the committee, in D.C., is: [does Tom Hagen] "This committee owes Randy Credico an apology! An apology!" I could've taken the Fifth Am- Ah, I did take the Fifth Amendment.
  1381.  
  1382. ["Godfather Part II" clip plays, again with Pentageli at the committee hearing]
  1383.  
  1384. CREDICO
  1385. [doing Pentageli] "I don't know nothing about dat!"
  1386.  
  1387. DI PAOLO
  1388. Hey, how about-
  1389.  
  1390. CREDICO
  1391. [doing Pentageli] Ooooooooooooh!
  1392.  
  1393. [Nixon clip plays - "That I welcome this examination."]
  1394.  
  1395. DI PAOLO
  1396. This is Trump.
  1397.  
  1398. CREDICO
  1399. [does Nixon - his best impression, and on this night, even this one is off] "Because I'm not a crook. I earned everything I've made."
  1400.  
  1401. DI PAOLO
  1402. Let's go to-
  1403.  
  1404. CREDICO
  1405. That was my first impression, by the way. I stole it from-
  1406.  
  1407. DI PAOLO
  1408. Let's go to Jimmy-
  1409.  
  1410. CREDICO
  1411. Ah, Jimmy Dore.
  1412.  
  1413. DI PAOLO
  1414. I'm going to go to Jimmy in Manhattan. He's uh he's reading a book, and he has a comment about you, Randy, comparison of another left-winger there, that sees through the bullshit. Go ahead, Jimmy, say hi to Randy Credico.
  1415.  
  1416. CREDICO
  1417. Hi Jimmy. How you doing?
  1418.  
  1419. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1420. Hey Randy. Randy, you're beautiful, thank you for being in my universe. Hey Nick.
  1421.  
  1422. DI PAOLO
  1423. Yes sir.
  1424.  
  1425. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1426. I'm reading this book on Elia Kazan. And about what- it's about an eight hundred page book. Six hundred page-
  1427.  
  1428. CREDICO
  1429. What a fucking cocksucker he was. [JIMMY IN MANHATTAN laughs] I mean, I liked the movie, [does Terry Malloy] "I could have been another Billy Cahn." "You could have had a couple of bets down for you."
  1430.  
  1431. DI PAOLO
  1432. That's Randy. Go ahead.
  1433.  
  1434. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1435. He's going to distract me. You know.
  1436.  
  1437. CREDICO
  1438. That's what I do.
  1439.  
  1440. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1441. But- but- but- Basically, you know, I don't know. He sees the evil...of that side. Yet...he's still a part of them. It's like he's a missionary on the left.
  1442.  
  1443. DI PAOLO
  1444. That's what- That's a great observation about Elia Kazan and you, Randy...Credico.
  1445.  
  1446. CREDICO
  1447. No, Elia Kazan was a- Look.
  1448.  
  1449. DI PAOLO
  1450. That's a great observation.
  1451.  
  1452. CREDICO
  1453. There's a great movie he made, which is called, uuuuum, "A Face in the Crowd". Alright? He made that, he also made that- that- that film, with Rod Steiger and uuuh-
  1454.  
  1455. DI PAOLO
  1456. "A Face in the Crowd", that was about me trying to get a special on Netflix. But go ahead.
  1457.  
  1458. CREDICO
  1459. You did, with that guy, uuuuuh, that guy beat you. What was his name? Who's the guy that beat you on uuuuuh that, for comics only? With Ed McMahon.
  1460.  
  1461. DI PAOLO
  1462. I didn't go on there, you fucking- I didn't go on there.
  1463.  
  1464. CREDICO
  1465. There was a guy, who won it. Like Ken Ober said, "You won?" Alright? I forgot the guy's name. Big tall guy that looked like Lurch. That won the thing-
  1466.  
  1467. DI PAOLO
  1468. Ooooooooh! [FIORI talks in the background] "Star Search"!
  1469.  
  1470. CREDICO
  1471. The guy that looked like Lurch.
  1472.  
  1473. DI PAOLO
  1474. Was it Brad Garrett?
  1475.  
  1476. CREDICO
  1477. Ye-
  1478.  
  1479. DI PAOLO
  1480. Nah.
  1481.  
  1482. CREDICO
  1483. He's one of them, too. No, the other fucking guy-
  1484.  
  1485. DI PAOLO
  1486. Al Lubel?
  1487.  
  1488. CREDICO
  1489. YES! Al Lubel. That's the one.
  1490.  
  1491. DI PAOLO
  1492. A Jewish lawyer from New York, whose mother used to breast feed him till he was eleven.
  1493.  
  1494. CREDICO
  1495. Yeah. The late Ken Ober said, "Wait...you won?" [DI PAOLO laughs] Couldn't fucken believe it. Alright?
  1496.  
  1497. DI PAOLO
  1498. So- But how does that relate to what Mister Jimmy's saying on the phone?
  1499.  
  1500. CREDICO
  1501. Well, Jimmy's saying...
  1502.  
  1503. DI PAOLO
  1504. How are you-
  1505.  
  1506. CREDICO
  1507. -about the red-baiting, motherfucker-
  1508.  
  1509. DI PAOLO
  1510. Thank you Jimmy for the call. You're never going to get a word in. We're gonna let him run with it.
  1511.  
  1512. CREDICO
  1513. [does Rod Steiger] Rod Steiger was the guy, just keep him on the line, this was the film with Rod Steiger, [does Brando] and Marlon Brando, and uuuuh what's his name, from "Streets of San Francisco", okay?
  1514.  
  1515. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1516. Karl Malden!
  1517.  
  1518. CREDICO
  1519. Yeah. That's it. Karl Malden was in that. And so was Jill St. John, or Jill- whatever the fuck her last name was [he's thinking of Eva Marie Saint]. There were a lot of Jills back then. No one calls their kid "Jill" anymore. You notice that? You don't get any fucking Jills anymore. Back then, everyone was called Jill. I wanted to fuck any woman who had the name "Jill". Jill St. John, you name it. I wanted them, alright? You tell me a woman's name, I didn't have to look at her face - her name is "Jill", I want the fucking woman. Here. I don't need any blow-
  1520.  
  1521. DI PAOLO
  1522. Would you fuck on the side of a hill?
  1523.  
  1524. CREDICO
  1525. I'd never seen a bad looking Jill. Have you?
  1526.  
  1527. DI PAOLO
  1528. Uuuuh Jill uuuuh I've only met one Jill. Jill St. John.
  1529.  
  1530. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1531. Jill Clayburgh!
  1532.  
  1533. CREDICO
  1534. YES! She was gorgeous too! I think that Richard Dreyfuss fucked her in one of those movies ["The Goodbye Girl"]. Right? So.
  1535.  
  1536. DI PAOLO
  1537. Jill. Jill.
  1538.  
  1539. CREDICO
  1540. Jills were good looking.
  1541.  
  1542. DI PAOLO
  1543. It's a weird name, if you say it over and over again.
  1544.  
  1545. CREDICO
  1546. Sexist talk that's going to get me in trouble with the-
  1547.  
  1548. DI PAOLO
  1549. WITH WHO? How you going to get in-
  1550.  
  1551. CREDICO
  1552. With the House Intel Committee, which is unfortunately the fucking right wingers, back in the fifties, they've become the Democratic Party now. You got shitheads like Adam Schiff, and this guy, from- Claywell. Whatever his fucking name is [Eric Swalwell], Castro - everyone on that committee, that's a Democrat-
  1553.  
  1554. DI PAOLO
  1555. Adam Schiff is an asshole.
  1556.  
  1557. CREDICO
  1558. Shit, yes. We call him full of shit.
  1559.  
  1560. DI PAOLO
  1561. He looks like a young Charlie - I told ya. Ummm...who'd I say? The other day.
  1562.  
  1563. CREDICO
  1564. He looks like he escaped the wax museum in Florida.
  1565.  
  1566. DI PAOLO
  1567. Charles Grodin.
  1568.  
  1569. CREDICO
  1570. Yeah, he does. But he definitely looks like a mannequin-
  1571.  
  1572. DI PAOLO
  1573. So answer Jimmy's question. Are you another Elia Kazan? You see the evil of the left, yet you're part of them. I think it's a great obv-
  1574.  
  1575. CREDICO
  1576. This is not the left. Don't tell me that- These guys are about business. Alright? It's not left or right, anymore. We're talking about people that want fucking wars, with fucking Russia, right now, there's a war industry that's going on, that's the reason why you have people like Adam Schiff - Trump, one thing I agree with Trump, I don't want to send my grandkids to the fucking Estonian front lines to fight the Russians. Alright? He's right on that. [DI PAOLO: Right.] Alright? So, we have to agree with him to not be an interventionist. And...the-
  1577.  
  1578. DI PAOLO
  1579. He will send them as far as California.
  1580.  
  1581. CREDICO
  1582. Alright. So you have to take a look at what's going on here. He's right on that. He's not an interventionist, but they want a fucking war...and the Deep State is like, fucking with him, on this particular issue.
  1583.  
  1584. DI PAOLO
  1585. Can I ask you a question about the Deep State?
  1586.  
  1587. CREDICO
  1588. The Deep State, that would be the CIA, and they all have shaved heads by the way.
  1589.  
  1590. DI PAOLO
  1591. Obama flunkies, a lot of them.
  1592.  
  1593. CREDICO
  1594. All of them- Obama was the fucking worst. Obama used the Patriot- used the Espionage Act more than anybody. From [Woodrow] Wilson on. Combined. Anyone who thinks that this is a good guy, he's a- he is a- a- He is the worst. So far, Trump hasn't even used the Espionage Act [this is false: Reality Winner was charged under the Espionage Act]. Barack Obama, who's a Harvard law professor, used it to put good people in jail. One of them is my good friend-
  1595.  
  1596. DI PAOLO
  1597. But they're right wingers that he put in jail.
  1598.  
  1599. CREDICO
  1600. One's a tea bagger. And that's like-
  1601.  
  1602. DI PAOLO
  1603. Am I right? Right wingers he put in jail.
  1604.  
  1605. CREDICO
  1606. He puts anyone-
  1607.  
  1608. DI PAOLO
  1609. And he definitely surveilled Trump when Trump got elected [this is the "wiretapping Trump Tower" lie], the whole fucking- We have to get into that.
  1610.  
  1611. CREDICO
  1612. There is no right or left here. This is about surveillance. Alright?
  1613.  
  1614. DI PAOLO
  1615. [inaudible] say that [inaudible] about the left-
  1616.  
  1617. CREDICO
  1618. I wouldn't say Obama's part of the fucking left, he's part of the Deep State. He is their chosen person to surveil [to conduct surveillance].
  1619.  
  1620. DI PAOLO
  1621. Okay, but he's a Marxist, for Christ's sakes. Isn't that left?
  1622.  
  1623. CREDICO
  1624. No, I'm a fucking-
  1625.  
  1626. DI PAOLO
  1627. Isn't that left? Marxism?
  1628.  
  1629. CREDICO
  1630. Marx is what- That you-
  1631.  
  1632. DI PAOLO
  1633. Socialism, Marxism-
  1634.  
  1635. CREDICO
  1636. Oh c'mon, why you going after him on that ground. That's not the reason to go after Barack Obama.
  1637.  
  1638. DI PAOLO
  1639. It might not be your reason. It's my reason.
  1640.  
  1641. CREDICO
  1642. People like-
  1643.  
  1644. DI PAOLO
  1645. He hates this country.
  1646.  
  1647. CREDICO
  1648. William Binney, William Binney is a great American, he was a- he actually is a-
  1649.  
  1650. DI PAOLO
  1651. He was Jack's cousin. Go ahead. [joke about William Binney being related to Jack Benny]
  1652.  
  1653. CREDICO
  1654. No no. William Binney is the guy that exposed the fact that the NSA-
  1655.  
  1656. DI PAOLO
  1657. Jimmy, you can hang up now. You'll be on that fucking line till three.
  1658.  
  1659. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1660. I- I- I'm just amazed-
  1661.  
  1662. DI PAOLO
  1663. Palumbo, you're alright in there? You doing your job?
  1664.  
  1665. CREDICO
  1666. How often you get a guy like me on the show, this is my business here. I'm not talking left or right here. We're just talking about-
  1667.  
  1668. DI PAOLO
  1669. I find-
  1670.  
  1671. CREDICO
  1672. -the Constitution, I don't- And I agree with Hannity.
  1673.  
  1674. DI PAOLO
  1675. Oh my god.
  1676.  
  1677. CREDICO
  1678. I don't like the fact that- that the NSA is right now, taking this conversation, and storing it- [DI PAOLO: Right.] in some fucking joint-
  1679.  
  1680. DI PAOLO
  1681. In Nevada.
  1682.  
  1683. CREDICO
  1684. And you talk, [DI PAOLO: Yes.] or in Fort Meade. Right now, all- Our conversation is being stored.
  1685.  
  1686. DI PAOLO
  1687. Randy, hold on. Go ahead, Jimmy.
  1688.  
  1689. JIMMY IN MANHATTAN
  1690. You know how important you are? The fact that we're having this agreement, and you're from the other side of the aisle, that- that- that there's a conveyance of something to agree with, and- and Nick don't knock yourself on it too. This is- this is the best open dialogue I've had with someone from the left side of the aisle-
  1691.  
  1692. DI PAOLO
  1693. YES! That's why I have him on!
  1694.  
  1695. CREDICO
  1696. It's not a left or right thing, this is a-
  1697.  
  1698. DI PAOLO
  1699. Thank you, Jimmy.
  1700.  
  1701. CREDICO
  1702. -American thing, this is- you take a look at the Bill of Rights, I support all of those ten Amendments, in the Bill of Rights, and the other sixteen whatever- You take a look at the most important, First Amendment, Second Amendment- I support _all of it_. I do not think you should tinker with the Bill of Rights, and they are tinkering with the Bill of Rights.
  1703.  
  1704. DI PAOLO
  1705. But where do you separate yourself from guys like Mark Levin? Who are pro-Bill of Rights, and pro-Constitution [CREDICO: Mark Levin?], where do you separate yourself from-
  1706.  
  1707. CREDICO
  1708. [doing Levin] It's a way, Carl's whatshisname, communism- [stops Levin] I listen to Mark Levin-
  1709.  
  1710. DI PAOLO
  1711. Very smart guy.
  1712.  
  1713. CREDICO
  1714. He's actually very entertaining-
  1715.  
  1716. DI PAOLO
  1717. Oh! Don't start with the entertaining! He's brilliant!
  1718.  
  1719. CREDICO
  1720. Well, to you, he's brill- We don't agree on a lot of stuff. But he's a great radio-
  1721.  
  1722. DI PAOLO
  1723. But he agrees with you as far as-
  1724.  
  1725. CREDICO
  1726. [does his Rush Limbaugh / successful gold prospector imitation]: I like Rush Limbaugh because he's a great commentator.
  1727.  
  1728. DI PAOLO
  1729. See? I got him, and he goes and does an impression. He agrees with you a 1000% on the Bill of Rights-
  1730.  
  1731. CREDICO
  1732. No, I agree with- [DI PAOLO: Yeah?] I agree with Sean Hannity on the...he actually is the only one-
  1733.  
  1734. DI PAOLO
  1735. That will get you in trouble.
  1736.  
  1737. CREDICO
  1738. Well no, he actually comes out and says, that there was a leak, it was _not_ a hack. Let me just say for sure, I know _who_ hacked our- or who did the leaking for the DNC. I've had the person that got the leak on my show [this is a reference to Craig Murray, who claimed to know the identities of two leakers, one at the DNC (who leaked the DNC emails), one at the NSA (who leaked the Podesta emails); a Daily Mail piece would feature the allegation that he had received some of the emails; both Credico and Roger Stone would promote the idea that Murray had received the DNC emails from Seth Rich - this made no sense, since the weekend that was cited by both Murray and the Daily Mail as the one in which he met the leaker (or an intermediary) was after the DNC emails had been released and after Seth Rich had been killed. Link to transcript of the Murray show: https://pastebin.com/cz7gDRBK Audio excerpt of Murray claiming on this show to know the identities of the leakers can be found here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BuwlzoFmLFI ]. And I'm not going to say who it is, because he told me not to.
  1739.  
  1740. DI PAOLO
  1741. That's ri-
  1742.  
  1743. CREDICO
  1744. But I can tell you for sure-
  1745.  
  1746. DI PAOLO
  1747. Roger Stone.
  1748.  
  1749. CREDICO
  1750. No, it wasn't Roger Stone. But it was a _leak_, it was not a hack.
  1751.  
  1752. DI PAOLO
  1753. Kevin [inaudible]
  1754.  
  1755. CREDICO
  1756. It was a leak by the DNC- Somebody from the DNC leaked- Both!
  1757.  
  1758. DI PAOLO
  1759. Chelsea Handler.
  1760.  
  1761. CREDICO
  1762. Both! Both the DNC leaks and the...other one, which is the Podesta leaks. That was not a hack. This fucking hack- He's the one-
  1763.  
  1764. DI PAOLO
  1765. Palumbo, find out who was on this guy's show.
  1766.  
  1767. CREDICO
  1768. He's a fucking hack! This guy, John Podesta, he's in it for the fucking money, he and his brother are washing money, in uuuuuuuh in Russia, and the Ukraine, they're only into eating like yuppies, and then they make fun of Julian Assange. Let me tell you something: Assange is a fucking hero, his politics are just being... And he's [Assange] probably just a libertarian. He's not like some left-winger.
  1769.  
  1770. DI PAOLO
  1771. Who?
  1772.  
  1773. CREDICO
  1774. He's a libertarian- Jul- I know him very well.
  1775.  
  1776. DI PAOLO
  1777. Who?
  1778.  
  1779. CREDICO
  1780. Should we talk about him?
  1781.  
  1782. DI PAOLO
  1783. Who?
  1784.  
  1785. CREDICO
  1786. When we come back from the break. Julian Assange. My three dinners with him?
  1787.  
  1788. DI PAOLO
  1789. [laughs] Yes! I love this guy!
  1790.  
  1791. CREDICO
  1792. Who else would have a- [DI PAOLO: He's-] Who else have you had on your show that had three dinners, in the last two months, with Julian Assange?
  1793.  
  1794. DI PAOLO
  1795. Jimmy Tingle.
  1796.  
  1797. CREDICO
  1798. Yeah, he did. [does Tingle, which sounds like him, but louder] And there they go! It's uuuuuuuuh It's uuuuuuuuh It's the plague in front. [stops being really loud] You ever see that racehorse thing that he does?
  1799.  
  1800. DI PAOLO
  1801. [cold as ice] That's Steve Sweeney. You're confusing your Boston Irish. [there is an empty hanging silence, like in a Pinter play] Let's go to the- Let's go to the- We got a question here for Randy...Randy, Kevin of Minnesota wants to know your views on the military. Kevin, say hi to Randy Credico, he'll be...maybe in Washington under subpoena.
  1802.  
  1803. CREDICO
  1804. I will not be there.
  1805.  
  1806. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1807. [sounds drunk] Heeeyyyyyyyy. You may end up in Guantamamo [sic].
  1808.  
  1809. CREDICO
  1810. Now, can you spell that for me.
  1811.  
  1812. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1813. Hey [inaudible]. I want to say hi to-
  1814.  
  1815. CREDICO
  1816. Can't you say something nice about me? Instead of slamming me, and hoping that I end up in-
  1817.  
  1818. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1819. I love everything you said last night, I drove a truck twelve hours last night, I've listened to you twice...last night.
  1820.  
  1821. DI PAOLO
  1822. He's a walking class.
  1823.  
  1824. CREDICO
  1825. Are you a Teamster? Are you a Teamster?
  1826.  
  1827. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1828. Uh no, I'm a United States Steel Workers Union. Yes.
  1829.  
  1830. CREDICO
  1831. So, let me ask you a question-
  1832.  
  1833. DI PAOLO
  1834. [laughs] This guy drives a truck for a living.
  1835.  
  1836. CREDICO
  1837. Are you with the Steel Workers union, or with the Teamsters union?
  1838.  
  1839. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1840. Uuuuuh...no.
  1841.  
  1842. CREDICO
  1843. That's not...either one. [pause] So you're working on the side.
  1844.  
  1845. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1846. Steel workers. Union proud. Yes. Absolutely.
  1847.  
  1848. CREDICO
  1849. And so, you're one of those union guys that supported Trump, right?
  1850.  
  1851. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1852. [pause] Absolutely.
  1853.  
  1854. CREDICO
  1855. And tell me why you supported Trump, because Hillary Clinton never went down to where you are, and she never related to workers like you.
  1856.  
  1857. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1858. Down?! Jesus Christ, I'm up by Canada, for Christ's sake. Get your shit together. Goddamnit. [DI PAOLO is laughing a lot]
  1859.  
  1860. CREDICO
  1861. Where the fuck are you, in northern Minnesota?
  1862.  
  1863. DI PAOLO
  1864. Two drunks-
  1865.  
  1866. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1867. You're goddamn right I am.
  1868.  
  1869. DI PAOLO
  1870. Two drunks having a [inaudible]
  1871.  
  1872. CREDICO
  1873. Who was that fat motherfucker that used to work in Minnesota- What was his name Scott- Scott something.
  1874.  
  1875. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1876. [inaudible] wind chill every morning, motherfucker.
  1877.  
  1878. CREDICO
  1879. Scott Hansen.
  1880.  
  1881. DI PAOLO
  1882. What's the question?
  1883.  
  1884. CREDICO
  1885. Minnesota. [sudden jump in volume of a drunk] ALRIGHT, YOU'IN- YOU'RE- WAIT A SECOND, WE'RE having a good conversation here. You are a union worker, and Hillary Clinton did not touch base with you. Am I right?
  1886.  
  1887. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1888. Absolutely not.
  1889.  
  1890. CREDICO
  1891. So, but did you like...[does Bernie Sanders] Bernie Sanders- Bernie Sanders actually did some nice things.
  1892.  
  1893. DI PAOLO
  1894. [difficult to tell if Di Paolo is mocking Credico - just sounds like the pretend robot voice everyone does] I do a pretty good Bernie Sanders.
  1895.  
  1896. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1897. No no - we love the Jews in northern Minnesota.
  1898.  
  1899. CREDICO
  1900. Let's not become anti-semitic-
  1901.  
  1902. DI PAOLO
  1903. Randy.
  1904.  
  1905. CREDICO
  1906. -because I could get into a lot of trouble.
  1907.  
  1908. DI PAOLO
  1909. [does robot Bernie Sanders] Let me do my Bernie Sanders. [no longer robot Sanders] He couldn't get the Black vote. That's why he lost to Hillary. I kept emailing him: I said, "Change your first name to Colonel".
  1910.  
  1911. CREDICO
  1912. [pause] Awww, that's very very- Let me tell you something. She won all those southern states that the Democrats could never win. And who gives a fuck?
  1913.  
  1914. DI PAOLO
  1915. I'm getting a sheepish look from both my producers. Who've been doing radio for ten years. Really? That's- [KEVIN OF MINNESOTA is loud, drunk and inaudible here]
  1916.  
  1917. CREDICO
  1918. [Sanders] That's because you're bogarting the rum! That's the problem! The problem is you bogart the rum.
  1919.  
  1920. DI PAOLO
  1921. By the way, Tavis Smiley is in trouble, couldn't happen to a nicer guy. Here's a guy-
  1922.  
  1923. CREDICO
  1924. Who loves authority.
  1925.  
  1926. DI PAOLO
  1927. -that hates Whitey at every-
  1928.  
  1929. CREDICO
  1930. Aw, will you stop saying that?
  1931.  
  1932. DI PAOLO
  1933. He hates white people-
  1934.  
  1935. CREDICO
  1936. I've done his show before.
  1937.  
  1938. DI PAOLO
  1939. He's got that big- Yeah, and that proves my point. He's got that big, shit eating grin.
  1940.  
  1941. CREDICO
  1942. Who's whiter than I am? Besides the guy on the other line. He's whiter than fucking Himmler.
  1943.  
  1944. DI PAOLO
  1945. Alright, Kevin, did he answer your question? This is like a battle of two guys-
  1946.  
  1947. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1948. -my question-
  1949.  
  1950. DI PAOLO
  1951. Well, get it on-
  1952.  
  1953. CREDICO
  1954. We want to hear it.
  1955.  
  1956. DI PAOLO
  1957. Get to it.
  1958.  
  1959. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1960. Jesus Christ, you guys...nipple twisting, [inaudible]
  1961.  
  1962. CREDICO
  1963. I have so many fucking packages of sugar-
  1964.  
  1965. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1966. How do we feel about transgenders-
  1967.  
  1968. CREDICO
  1969. That's me, I changed my sex.
  1970.  
  1971. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1972. -being in the military?
  1973.  
  1974. DI PAOLO
  1975. How do you feel about transgender military? I've got the article-
  1976.  
  1977. CREDICO
  1978. I don't think anyone should serve in the military, and be involved in these wars that- Trump is against these wars. So, I would say that I'm against people joining the Army, to participate in wars of aggression. Whether they be-
  1979.  
  1980. DI PAOLO
  1981. How are they wars of aggression?
  1982.  
  1983. CREDICO
  1984. Alright-
  1985.  
  1986. KEVIN OF MINNESOTA
  1987. I'm not talking about that! I'm talking about-
  1988.  
  1989. CREDICO
  1990. Oh- why- why do you send these boys anywhere? Why- where are they going to go?
  1991.  
  1992. DI PAOLO
  1993. Wait a minute, these aren't boys. These are boys slash girls.
  1994.  
  1995. CREDICO
  1996. Whatever. They're boys, or women, or transgenders, or fucking eunuchs- Why are you sending these people-
  1997.  
  1998. DI PAOLO
  1999. Listen. I know a soldier who got blown up, right? He lost his nuts and her tits.
  2000.  
  2001. CREDICO
  2002. For what? [DI PAOLO laughs] Why are we going to fight, we're fighting for big oil, alright? We're not fighting-
  2003.  
  2004. DI PAOLO
  2005. Well, how do you warm your house? With candles? [KEVIN OF MINNESOTA laughs]
  2006.  
  2007. CREDICO
  2008. No, we got enough oil here. We're now exporting oil. We don't need their oil anymore.
  2009.  
  2010. DI PAOLO
  2011. Okay, you know why? You know why we're still playing with oil? Because we can't use fossil fuels, because of you cocksuckers. 866-699-1969.
  2012.  
  2013. CREDICO
  2014. Now he's definitely exposed me as a cocksucker.
  2015.  
  2016. DI PAOLO
  2017. Kevin, thank you for the call.
  2018.  
  2019. CREDICO
  2020. Great.
  2021.  
  2022. DI PAOLO
  2023. Not literally. I call everybody that.
  2024.  
  2025. CREDICO
  2026. Well, why is that a negative term?
  2027.  
  2028. DI PAOLO
  2029. What? Why do you hate the military so much?
  2030.  
  2031. CREDICO
  2032. Why do you call- I love the military! [DI PAOLO: They protect you!] I don't want to send them over- I DON'T WANT TO SEND THEM OVER- to fight, for the...Deep State. Do you?
  2033.  
  2034. DI PAOLO
  2035. [incredulous] The Deep- The Deep State's not the ones who send them over!
  2036.  
  2037. CREDICO
  2038. We want- We want- We want-
  2039.  
  2040. DI PAOLO
  2041. Is that what you're telling me?
  2042.  
  2043. CREDICO
  2044. We want- Yes-
  2045.  
  2046. DI PAOLO
  2047. Bruce Orr and his whorey girlfriend?
  2048.  
  2049. CREDICO
  2050. Do you- So why are we fighting the Russians, then? In Estonia. For what? What do we want there?
  2051.  
  2052. DI PAOLO
  2053. We haven't- We're not fighting them there.
  2054.  
  2055. CREDICO
  2056. They only have one fucking base outside of the Crimea, we have forty five around Russia, and four- [inaudible] around China-
  2057.  
  2058. DI PAOLO
  2059. And it's working pretty good, isn't it, Randy? You wouldn't had them years ago [sic].
  2060.  
  2061. CREDICO
  2062. This is- This is what-
  2063.  
  2064. DI PAOLO
  2065. [inaudible] bombing at them y-
  2066.  
  2067. CREDICO
  2068. So you and Obama agree on this.
  2069.  
  2070. DI PAOLO
  2071. On that we agree.
  2072.  
  2073. CREDICO
  2074. You and Obama agree, having- spending- seven hundred billion dollars-
  2075.  
  2076. DI PAOLO
  2077. [laughing] Mr. Obama got something right.
  2078.  
  2079. CREDICO
  2080. But, by having-
  2081.  
  2082. DI PAOLO
  2083. He gutted the military, what are you talking about?
  2084.  
  2085. CREDICO
  2086. He did not gut the military. We have seven hundred-
  2087.  
  2088. DI PAOLO
  2089. We had too!
  2090.  
  2091. CREDICO
  2092. Twelve hundred fucking uh- Why are we in Niger?
  2093.  
  2094. DI PAOLO
  2095. That's very obvious. Go to 42nd Street. They're selling fake watches and handbags.
  2096.  
  2097. CREDICO
  2098. Listen, you're getting senile here.
  2099.  
  2100. DI PAOLO
  2101. That was a good answer. Right over your head, you half an Indian.
  2102.  
  2103. CREDICO
  2104. Uh- Native American.
  2105.  
  2106. DI PAOLO
  2107. Indian.
  2108.  
  2109. CREDICO
  2110. Listen. I so far- Sometimes we have to deal with what's going on with- I'm- [DI PAOLO does the stereotypical war whoop over this]
  2111.  
  2112. DI PAOLO
  2113. Randy Credico is on the show, his mother was Cherokee, his mother was actually Elizabeth Warren's sister, Diane Warren.
  2114.  
  2115. CREDICO
  2116. You know what? That- whatshisname Andrew Cuomo's always- His mother- His mother-
  2117.  
  2118. DI PAOLO
  2119. Fiori make a note of this part of the show. Because [inaudible] Seriously, make a note.
  2120.  
  2121. CREDICO
  2122. -was attacked by a lizard. Alright?
  2123.  
  2124. DI PAOLO
  2125. What?
  2126.  
  2127. CREDICO
  2128. Andrew Cuomo. If you take a look at him, he's always like- like-
  2129.  
  2130. DI PAOLO
  2131. Why are you obsessed with Cuomo?! You do a thousand voices, I've heard Cuomo eight times already.
  2132.  
  2133. CREDICO
  2134. You have?
  2135.  
  2136. DI PAOLO
  2137. Yes.
  2138.  
  2139. CREDICO
  2140. You ever hear my James Mason? [does Mason] James Mason. You ever hear my James Mason? [inaudible] she said, that was star quality. [drops Mason] Your fans wouldn't even know that. They wouldn't even know Popeye. [does Popeye] Ooooooh, what until I come back-
  2141.  
  2142. DI PAOLO
  2143. Wait, I do a Popeye!
  2144.  
  2145. CREDICO
  2146. [doing Popeye] Well, blow me down, fucking Nick fucking Nick the cocksucker's going to- Nick the cocksucker, motherfucker motherfucker, right wing motherfucker's going to-
  2147.  
  2148. DI PAOLO
  2149. Do you believe this is the- this is the-
  2150.  
  2151. FIORI
  2152. I need to apologize to you...
  2153.  
  2154. DI PAOLO
  2155. This is the guy- This is the guy- that fucking- This is the guy that Congress is subpoenaeing. He's doing Popeye!
  2156.  
  2157. CREDICO
  2158. Can you imagine me, in front of Congress, "Mr. Credico, did you ever have-" [doing Popeye in front of Congress]: "Yes, I did AAAAAGAGAGAGAGA- AAAAAGAGAGAGAGA-" [now, does himself doing what's supposed to be Nicholson from "A Few Good Men" in front of the Committee - it's not Nicholson, just someone loud and mean] "Mr. Schiff, let me ask you a question. Do you know the truth, Mr. Schiff? You piece of shit, ahahahahahaha." Can you imagine that. Why would they want me there? They decided...not to call me there this week. Once they heard I was taking the Fifth, they said, "He doesn't have to show up to do that."
  2159.  
  2160. DI PAOLO
  2161. Let's go to Jason in D.C. [caller was also on the night before]
  2162.  
  2163. CREDICO
  2164. Somebody's gotta say something nice to me.
  2165.  
  2166. DI PAOLO
  2167. Randy. Focus. Jesus Christ, he's like a cat on fucking coke.
  2168.  
  2169. CREDICO
  2170. Hey...gentlemen...
  2171.  
  2172. DI PAOLO
  2173. Jason in D.C. wants to know about your connections with Assange. Right, Jason?
  2174.  
  2175. JASON FROM D.C.
  2176. Yeah...I wanna know, you know, how well you know the guy, and...
  2177.  
  2178. CREDICO
  2179. Really well.
  2180.  
  2181. JASON FROM D.C.
  2182. If he is [inaudible]-
  2183.  
  2184. CREDICO
  2185. Really well.
  2186.  
  2187. JASON FROM D.C.
  2188. -better than-
  2189.  
  2190. CREDICO
  2191. Really well. Really well. Really well. I've spent the last- September 6th, I was in London, September 6th, and then I went back uuuuuh and then I went back and spent- And it cost me a fortune. Alright? To hang out with him, because I went to...uuuuh Harrods. To get fish n chips. Fucking eighty seven motherfucking dollars. For fish n chips-
  2192.  
  2193. DI PAOLO
  2194. Focus, Randy, focus.
  2195.  
  2196. CREDICO
  2197. I'm gonna tell ya...so, we hung out, and then I went back- I went back November 13th, then the 16th; And we had uh, I brought him a bottle of Bulleit. [pause] Bulleit. [DI PAOLO's hissing balloon laugh]
  2198.  
  2199. JASON FROM D.C.
  2200. What...did he swallow it?
  2201.  
  2202. CREDICO
  2203. NoNo- We just had a long conversation, he is very smart, we talked about uuuuh-
  2204.  
  2205. DI PAOLO
  2206. Face to face?
  2207.  
  2208. CREDICO
  2209. Yes! I spent three hours-
  2210.  
  2211. DI PAOLO
  2212. In the embassy?
  2213.  
  2214. CREDICO
  2215. In the embassy. Three times, I've been with him in the embassy.
  2216.  
  2217. DI PAOLO
  2218. I don't understand this, people want to kill him. While are they-
  2219.  
  2220. JASON FROM D.C.
  2221. Yeah! How are you [inaudible]
  2222.  
  2223. DI PAOLO
  2224. How the fuck they let you in?
  2225.  
  2226. CREDICO
  2227. What do you mean, how they let me in?
  2228.  
  2229. DI PAOLO
  2230. Who are you?
  2231.  
  2232. CREDICO
  2233. They let me in. You have to go through a heavy process-
  2234.  
  2235. DI PAOLO
  2236. They have your name at the front desk, like, Sirius Radio?
  2237.  
  2238. CREDICO
  2239. Yes. So you go in- So here's the deal: you go in, and he- He gives you, like, three or four days ahead of time, to visit the embassy. And sit down with him. You have to go through a lot of protocol with the Ecuadorian embassy.
  2240.  
  2241. DI PAOLO
  2242. I'd like to meet him.
  2243.  
  2244. CREDICO
  2245. So, the last time I was there- The last time, I spent a lot of quality time with him, was...uuuuh- I was there to cover the...hearing, in the High Court of London, by some Italian uuuuuuh journalist, by the name of Stefania Maurizi. In the High Court of London, who was trying to access uuuuuuh transmissions of emails [sic]...
  2246.  
  2247. DI PAOLO
  2248. Were you working for "The Daily Show" at that time [the balloon hissing laugh]?
  2249.  
  2250. CREDICO
  2251. Transmissions of emails between the British prosecutor and the Swedish prosecutor. So, I was there, and I went there September...
  2252.  
  2253. DI PAOLO
  2254. Are you a lawyer, Randy?
  2255.  
  2256. CREDICO
  2257. November- Let me finish this story, then- November 13th-
  2258.  
  2259. DI PAOLO
  2260. Alright. I wish you would, we gotta go do a break.
  2261.  
  2262. CREDICO
  2263. November 13th, I went there at six o'clock at night, stayed there till ten o'clock at night. And we had the greatest conversation, talking about cricket versus football, and a whole bunch of secrets that the CIA would like to hear, but I'm not going to tell the cocksuckers. Alright? And we had a long conversation-
  2264.  
  2265. JASON FROM D.C.
  2266. I have another question.
  2267.  
  2268. CREDICO
  2269. And I brought in some great food, I brought in oysters from Harrods, [JASON FROM D.C. says something inaudible] and I brought lobster rolls, and I went back in there, three days later, with him, and spent two hours-
  2270.  
  2271. DI PAOLO
  2272. The gentleman has another question.
  2273.  
  2274. CREDICO
  2275. I love the guy, he's the smartest guy I've ever met, in my _life_. And he is being persecuted, and this is all going to bounce back. They don't want the-
  2276.  
  2277. DI PAOLO
  2278. You're gonna tell me he's the smarter then Louis Faranda [comedy club booker - a profile is here: https://nypost.com/2007/11/05/dream-job-louis-faranda/ ], the guy that ran Catch A Rising Star [comedy club]?
  2279.  
  2280. CREDICO
  2281. He's actually smarter than- Well, not as smart as him.
  2282.  
  2283. DI PAOLO
  2284. [inaudible]
  2285.  
  2286. CREDICO
  2287. Yes.
  2288.  
  2289. DI PAOLO
  2290. Jason, Jason. Jason, hold on the line. I gotta go to break.
  2291.  
  2292. CREDICO
  2293. I gotta take a piss too.
  2294.  
  2295. DI PAOLO
  2296. Randy has to take a- He's got a bag on his hip. He's going to pee right here. Uuuuuuh. [CREDICO: I'll just pee here. I'll go in this cup.] Why are you wearing a Greek fisherman's hat? You look like a fucking lesbian.
  2297.  
  2298. CREDICO
  2299. How about this thing right here? This is from the show that I do.
  2300.  
  2301. DI PAOLO
  2302. H.R. Pufnstuf? [FIORI is laughing in the background]
  2303.  
  2304. CREDICO
  2305. Yes. That's the show-
  2306.  
  2307. DI PAOLO
  2308. Marty Kroft?
  2309.  
  2310. CREDICO
  2311. Sid and Marty Kroft. Yes.
  2312.  
  2313. DI PAOLO
  2314. Nickelodeon, "Mutt and Stuff".
  2315.  
  2316. CREDICO
  2317. It's a Nickelodeon show. It's called "Mutt and Stuff".
  2318.  
  2319. DI PAOLO
  2320. Hey, thank you for the call, Jason. I appreciate it. You got Randy to focus. We gotta get some ritalin in his Diet Coke. Let's uh- Let's take a b- Let's take a break.
  2321.  
  2322. CREDICO
  2323. [at a distance] Are you bored with me now?
  2324.  
  2325. DI PAOLO
  2326. No. Bored with you? We're just getting started. This...his pants...he just left, his pants are hanging down like a fourteen year old black kid. Where the fucking- His pants were down to his- His whole underwear hanging out. I have never met a guy like this in my life. IQ of 190...where's he going? [laughs] He's going to pee...he's going to pee in Palumbo's booth. Oh, he's going into the black booth. Hey people are comfortable at age forty five. Let's take a break, folks. We gotta talk to this guy. This guy, I mean, come on, this is a comic who did the "Tonight Show" with Johnny Carson, they told him not to do a Carson impression...and he did it anyways. And he also did a Eva Braun - they told him to stay from that, he did them both. They never asked him back. I love this fucking guy. As left as you come...if you're William Kun- Google William Kunstler. Fans of my show are probably not going to know who that guy is. Unless you're older. But he was a radical lawyer for the far left. Randy lived, like, in the same apartment, below him. They were asshole buddies, like _this_ [presumably makes a gesture]. Couldn't see one without the other. Forever. So he's a real lefty, Randy. But he also sees through the- He's the reason I don't reject them all. [laughing] What are you laughing at, his pants? He- he- Did you see his pants falling down? Like a fourteen year old gangbanger.
  2327.  
  2328. PALUMBO
  2329. Yeah, I feel like I need to go find him.
  2330.  
  2331. DI PAOLO
  2332. Yeah, you know what? Palumbo's instincts are right on the- I was just thinking, he's probably- Right now- He just took a right into a closet, where there's a bunch of equipment, construction equipment, he's pissing into a hardhat right now.
  2333.  
  2334. PALUMBO
  2335. He's walking through the hallways, actually undoing his pants [both laugh]. As if he's in his own hallway.
  2336.  
  2337. DI PAOLO
  2338. He's trying to get a job here. 866-969-1969, back after this.
  2339.  
  2340. [break]
  2341.  
  2342. CREDICO
  2343. This is going to be a quick hour, I know that. You get paid for this?
  2344.  
  2345. DI PAOLO
  2346. _Yes_.
  2347.  
  2348. CREDICO
  2349. You do?
  2350.  
  2351. DI PAOLO
  2352. Yes.
  2353.  
  2354. CREDICO
  2355. Is it based on advertising? Or uh-
  2356.  
  2357. DI PAOLO
  2358. No, it's-
  2359.  
  2360. CREDICO
  2361. Panhandling?
  2362.  
  2363. DI PAOLO
  2364. Panhandling is the base salary.
  2365.  
  2366. CREDICO
  2367. Have you ever done that? Have you ever gone, like to a subway entrance?
  2368.  
  2369. DI PAOLO
  2370. That's Randy Credico, by the way, being subpoenaed by the Congress. Knows Julian Assange well. And Roger Stone. And apparently, he might have slept with Hillary Clinton. Your thoughts?
  2371.  
  2372. CREDICO
  2373. I did. You know, I definitely like-
  2374.  
  2375. DI PAOLO
  2376. You like girls with ankles-
  2377.  
  2378. CREDICO
  2379. I like girls with ankles like a swimmer.
  2380.  
  2381. DI PAOLO
  2382. She is big ankled.
  2383.  
  2384. CREDICO
  2385. She actually lives up there in-
  2386.  
  2387. DI PAOLO
  2388. Near me!
  2389.  
  2390. CREDICO
  2391. She lives up there-
  2392.  
  2393. DI PAOLO
  2394. Near me!
  2395.  
  2396. CREDICO
  2397. You know, the thing is, she-
  2398.  
  2399. DI PAOLO
  2400. I saw her!
  2401.  
  2402. CREDICO
  2403. I wrote an op-ed piece, for the Albany Times-Union, and I gotta put this out there: that she came out, and she had [does Sharpton] the Reverend Al Sharpton, and [does Jesse Jackson] Jesse- Jesse- Jackson was at her side. [back to Sharpton] And a whole bunch of others. [out of Sharpton] Having a breakfast. Up there, in 57th Street-
  2404.  
  2405. DI PAOLO
  2406. I had breakfast with Al Sharpton.
  2407.  
  2408. CREDICO
  2409. [does Sharpton] I did too. Sharpton- Sharpton loves my impression of him. He always said- [drops Sharpton] Actually, if you go to the, if you go to uuuuuh one of these, I don't want to say "Google", because that's not a verb. If you go to an internet search site-
  2410.  
  2411. DI PAOLO
  2412. Yeah.
  2413.  
  2414. CREDICO
  2415. Yahoo!, Google, the rest of them.
  2416.  
  2417. DI PAOLO
  2418. Yeah?
  2419.  
  2420. CREDICO
  2421. You'll see-
  2422.  
  2423. DI PAOLO
  2424. You, doing that impression?
  2425.  
  2426. CREDICO
  2427. He- Sharpton- Sharpton actually brought me up on the stage, and said [does Sharpton] "When I'm not in town, or I got a sore throat, I bring in my brother from the Village. Uh uh clearly, uh Randy Credico-"
  2428.  
  2429. DI PAOLO
  2430. Why do you have such a connection with the People of Color, Randy?
  2431.  
  2432. CREDICO
  2433. Because I'm of color. Let's get back to it. Why do you not have [one]? Because I'm like people like you, you're Sicilian, which means you're Black.
  2434.  
  2435. DI PAOLO
  2436. I'm not Sicilian.
  2437.  
  2438. CREDICO
  2439. Yes, you are.
  2440.  
  2441. DI PAOLO
  2442. I'm Italian. Big difference.
  2443.  
  2444. CREDICO
  2445. No, you are Sicilian.
  2446.  
  2447. DI PAOLO
  2448. I am _Italian_. Big difference.
  2449.  
  2450. CREDICO
  2451. You are as Black as uuuuuh as-
  2452.  
  2453. DI PAOLO
  2454. That's spray shit, I use. I use the Mitt Romney shit.
  2455.  
  2456. CREDICO
  2457. Let me ask you a question.
  2458.  
  2459. DI PAOLO
  2460. I use the same shit Mitt Romney uses.
  2461.  
  2462. CREDICO
  2463. Your family is Siciian? You're like-
  2464.  
  2465. DI PAOLO
  2466. [laughing] I'm not Sicilian! I'm from-
  2467.  
  2468. CREDICO
  2469. You think Sollozzo was Italian? He's Al Lettieri.
  2470.  
  2471. DI PAOLO
  2472. No! Sollozzo is a Turk.
  2473.  
  2474. CREDICO
  2475. No, he was-
  2476.  
  2477. DI PAOLO
  2478. He was a Turk. He was good with a knife.
  2479.  
  2480. CREDICO
  2481. Everyone in that movie was Sicilian. Including Sollozzo. Sollozzo-
  2482.  
  2483. DI PAOLO
  2484. He was a Turk!
  2485.  
  2486. CREDICO
  2487. You know how he got his job?
  2488.  
  2489. DI PAOLO
  2490. Solozzo?
  2491.  
  2492. CREDICO
  2493. Al Lettieri. Al Lettieri was, when they were shooting "Godfather One"-
  2494.  
  2495. DI PAOLO
  2496. 866- [laughing]
  2497.  
  2498. CREDICO
  2499. Al Pacino-
  2500.  
  2501. DI PAOLO
  2502. Somebody ask you a question.
  2503.  
  2504. CREDICO
  2505. Al Pacino, I'm gonna tell you the story. Al Pacino was hanging out with Francis Ford Coppola-
  2506.  
  2507. DI PAOLO
  2508. Yeah?
  2509.  
  2510. CREDICO
  2511. And he said, "You gotta go to Emilio's." Emilio's is an- was an Italian restaurant on-
  2512.  
  2513. DI PAOLO
  2514. I remember Emilio's.
  2515.  
  2516. CREDICO
  2517. Yes. Off of-
  2518.  
  2519. DI PAOLO
  2520. In the Bronx.
  2521.  
  2522. CREDICO
  2523. Greenwich. Not Greenwich- But off of- What's the one that goes like this [makes a gesture]?
  2524.  
  2525. DI PAOLO
  2526. "How's the Italian food in this place?"
  2527.  
  2528. CREDICO
  2529. Yes. It's right there on-
  2530.  
  2531. DI PAOLO
  2532. Better than the Chinese.
  2533.  
  2534. CREDICO
  2535. Right off of Sixth Avenue - would you stop it, alright? Bleeker and Sixth Avenue. There was an Italian place called Emilio's. So, the bartender is Al Lettieri.
  2536.  
  2537. DI PAOLO
  2538. Down in the Village?
  2539.  
  2540. CREDICO
  2541. Yes! Al Lettieri-
  2542.  
  2543. DI PAOLO
  2544. Is it Menata? Menata's?
  2545.  
  2546. CREDICO
  2547. No no. It's right there in that little square there. Uuuuuuh on- on- on-...on Bleeker and 6th Avenue. And that street that goes like this. Alright, so, he was working there.
  2548.  
  2549. DI PAOLO
  2550. Arturo's!
  2551.  
  2552. CREDICO
  2553. [pause] No.
  2554.  
  2555. DI PAOLO
  2556. Okay.
  2557.  
  2558. CREDICO
  2559. It wasn't Arturo's, Arturo's is-
  2560.  
  2561. DI PAOLO
  2562. Ray's Originals?
  2563.  
  2564. ["Godfather Part II" clip, Hymie Roth saying "Enjoy your cake."]
  2565.  
  2566. DI PAOLO
  2567. I just hit that by accident. [clip plays a little more] That was an accident.
  2568.  
  2569. CREDICO
  2570. [does Hymie Roth] I'm waiting for...I just want to wait. Now, the Rosato brothers...who gave the order. Now...but who gave the order? There was this man.
  2571.  
  2572. DI PAOLO
  2573. [does Pentageli] I'm insulted by this c-note, Rosario. [sic - the line is: "I don't like the C-note Rosato - I take that as an insult."]
  2574.  
  2575. CREDICO
  2576. [doing Hymie Roth] There was a man. A man with great vision. He built a whole G.I. stop. Nobody asked! [DI PAOLO says something inaudible, another mangled "Godfather Part II" quote] Because, we knew. We knew-
  2577.  
  2578. DI PAOLO
  2579. We imported molasses. We knew he was stupid.
  2580.  
  2581. CREDICO
  2582. He was talking very stupid.
  2583.  
  2584. DI PAOLO
  2585. Strongheaded.
  2586.  
  2587. CREDICO
  2588. Strongheaded. Goes "k- k- k-" [makes choking sound]
  2589.  
  2590. DI PAOLO
  2591. And his name is not-
  2592.  
  2593. CREDICO
  2594. Not a signpost.
  2595.  
  2596. DI PAOLO
  2597. Not a signpost. Not a tree or statue. And that man name's was-
  2598.  
  2599. CREDICO
  2600. I knew Moe Green was headstrong. Saying stupid things. But that wasn't right. [goes to Michael Corleone] Fredo, I know it was you. [out of Michael] Alright, so. [doing Pentageli] Hey Fredo!
  2601.  
  2602. [clip from "The Godfather Part II" - "This is the business we've chosen."]
  2603.  
  2604. CREDICO
  2605. Alright. [doing Pentageli] AAAAAAAAH! What's-his-name would never take me. Old man Roth would never take me. Johnny Ola. He knew. Fredo, why they call him shooperman [sic]? [out of Pentageli] Alright. So. Superman.
  2606.  
  2607. DI PAOLO
  2608. Can I-
  2609.  
  2610. CREDICO
  2611. That guy had like an eighty inch cock. We know that, right?
  2612.  
  2613. DI PAOLO
  2614. Yes I know that. I auditioned for that part.
  2615.  
  2616. CREDICO
  2617. I know.
  2618.  
  2619. DI PAOLO
  2620. I was only a year old.
  2621.  
  2622. CREDICO
  2623. Yes. Hung like a hamster. Alright so.
  2624.  
  2625. DI PAOLO
  2626. I'm hung like a- like a- you know what. A-
  2627.  
  2628. CREDICO
  2629. Alright. Let me-
  2630.  
  2631. DI PAOLO
  2632. Go ahead.
  2633.  
  2634. CREDICO
  2635. Let's get back to this thing.
  2636.  
  2637. DI PAOLO
  2638. Why the cringe, fucking strong middle?
  2639.  
  2640. CREDICO
  2641. Who gives a shit, alright? We're getting back to where I-
  2642.  
  2643. DI PAOLO
  2644. The guy has a question for you!
  2645.  
  2646. CREDICO
  2647. What was the fucking question?
  2648.  
  2649. DI PAOLO
  2650. We didn't bring you on here to be fucking Red Skelton, you dink.
  2651.  
  2652. CREDICO
  2653. He was a great comic, wasn't he?
  2654.  
  2655. DI PAOLO
  2656. Let's go to Bill. Bill in Louisville has a question for Randy Credico.
  2657.  
  2658. CREDICO
  2659. Aw Jesus, everyone before- below the Mason-Dixon line is with you.
  2660.  
  2661. DI PAOLO
  2662. Go ahead, Bill.
  2663.  
  2664. BILL IN LOUISVILLE
  2665. How's it going there, Nick?
  2666.  
  2667. DI PAOLO
  2668. Pretty good. What do you want to ask Randy?
  2669.  
  2670. BILL IN LOUISVILLE
  2671. Randy you got it tough tonight, don't you?
  2672.  
  2673. DI PAOLO
  2674. Oh my god, it's like having a twelve year old on fucking coke here.
  2675.  
  2676. BILL IN LOUISVILLE
  2677. Well, I just wanted his opinion on Edward Snowden.
  2678.  
  2679. CREDICO
  2680. Why is this stuff so watered down, this stuff in here. [talking about the rum he's drinking]
  2681.  
  2682. DI PAOLO
  2683. That's a good question, you got an opinion on Edward Snowden?
  2684.  
  2685. CREDICO
  2686. Edward Snowden is a hero, and Edward Snowden is actually conservative. Edward Snowden is-
  2687.  
  2688. DI PAOLO
  2689. Why's he hiding in _Russia_, if he's a conservative?
  2690.  
  2691. CREDICO
  2692. Well, wait a second. He exposed - you being- you being-
  2693.  
  2694. DI PAOLO
  2695. I agree with what he's saying. [CREDICO: - surveilled.] I'm not disagreeing with what he did. Why's he running to Russia?
  2696.  
  2697. CREDICO
  2698. Why did he run there? Does he want to go to Guantanamo?
  2699.  
  2700. DI PAOLO
  2701. No, you go down to fucking where the old people, in Florida state.
  2702.  
  2703. CREDICO
  2704. Where's he supposed to go? Where the fuck is he supposed to go? He's actually a conservative! He's actually a conservative, that didn't like any of us-
  2705.  
  2706. DI PAOLO
  2707. I agree! I agree!
  2708.  
  2709. CREDICO
  2710. I got to give the credit- The guys that have come out and exposed the NSA-
  2711.  
  2712. DI PAOLO
  2713. Why do you run to Russia? You didn't answer my question, Mr. Credico.
  2714.  
  2715. CREDICO
  2716. -are all conservatives. Are center right. That would be William Binney and Ed Snowden. Ed Snowden's not some leftist. He's just a true American hero.
  2717.  
  2718. DI PAOLO
  2719. Why did he run to Russia?
  2720.  
  2721. CREDICO
  2722. Because if he didn't, he would be fried by the phony criminal justice system. Wanting them embarrassed, he embarrased them. They are spying on all of us.
  2723.  
  2724. DI PAOLO
  2725. I know that.
  2726.  
  2727. CREDICO
  2728. All three of us. [includes BILL IN LOUISVILLE]
  2729.  
  2730. DI PAOLO
  2731. I agree, I agree.
  2732.  
  2733. CREDICO
  2734. And so, left and right, come together on this.
  2735.  
  2736. DI PAOLO
  2737. I agree.
  2738.  
  2739. CREDICO
  2740. People left and right, that's why-
  2741.  
  2742. DI PAOLO
  2743. That's why I had you on the show tonight. That, and your fucking Nicholson impression.
  2744.  
  2745. CREDICO
  2746. Sean Hannity and I get along on this issue. Alright? Sean Hannity-
  2747.  
  2748. DI PAOLO
  2749. Sean Hannity and Rand- Sean Hannity and Randy Credico, far leftist, Kunstler protege, fucking him and Hannity, are sympatico on a lot of points here tonight. Hannity has been consistent, people make fun of him, but he's a pitbull.
  2750.  
  2751. CREDICO
  2752. Hannity's like freaked out at, everything he said is being picked up by the NSA, and stored. You know that. So, this goes through not just George H. W. Bush [sic, he probably means George W. Bush here], it goes through Obama - Obama was even worse. Obama is the worst on this, he allowed the NSA to spy on all of us. And this is-
  2753.  
  2754. DI PAOLO
  2755. That breaks your heart as a lefty.
  2756.  
  2757. CREDICO
  2758. No, he's not a lefty.
  2759.  
  2760. DI PAOLO
  2761. He was a lefty. What are you talking about?
  2762.  
  2763. CREDICO
  2764. On some issues, he may have been a lefty. But he's-
  2765.  
  2766. DI PAOLO
  2767. He's not a liberal?
  2768.  
  2769. CREDICO
  2770. These guys are not left or right. They are totalitarianists.
  2771.  
  2772. DI PAOLO
  2773. That's- That's left.
  2774.  
  2775. CREDICO
  2776. There's- No. Totalitarianism is [inaudible].
  2777.  
  2778. DI PAOLO
  2779. Who's a right wing totalitarian? Who's the last right wing? Mussolini?
  2780.  
  2781. CREDICO
  2782. Mussolini?
  2783.  
  2784. DI PAOLO
  2785. He's a fascist.
  2786.  
  2787. CREDICO
  2788. Well, Mussolini's a dictator. He actually built five thousand miles of road.
  2789.  
  2790. DI PAOLO
  2791. I asked you a question: who's the last right wing totalitarian?
  2792.  
  2793. CREDICO
  2794. Who's the last left wing?
  2795.  
  2796. DI PAOLO
  2797. Right wing.
  2798.  
  2799. CREDICO
  2800. Right wing? Uuuuuuuh Obama.
  2801.  
  2802. DI PAOLO
  2803. [laughs] That's how far left he is. He thinks Obama is a rightie.
  2804.  
  2805. CREDICO
  2806. This is not about left or right.
  2807.  
  2808. DI PAOLO
  2809. IT IS! You say that because you're a leftie and you're in the wrong.
  2810.  
  2811. CREDICO
  2812. I'm saying Obama and George Bush and-
  2813.  
  2814. DI PAOLO
  2815. You guys are the fucking- That's true. They built the brick road.
  2816.  
  2817. CREDICO
  2818. They support all of it. And they support-
  2819.  
  2820. DI PAOLO
  2821. Does that answer your question, Bill?
  2822.  
  2823. CREDICO
  2824. Bill, you know that these guys are all the same. None of them have any ideology. For them it's all about money.
  2825.  
  2826. DI PAOLO
  2827. He makes a good point.
  2828.  
  2829. CREDICO
  2830. That- that-
  2831.  
  2832. DI PAOLO
  2833. Randy, makes a good-
  2834.  
  2835. CREDICO
  2836. Do you think that Obama was running this fucking country? The guy was worth two hundred grand. They're not going to let some motherfucker with two hundred grand in the bank run this fucking nation. It's run by rich people, super-rich people, and by-
  2837.  
  2838. DI PAOLO
  2839. The Rockefellers!
  2840.  
  2841. CREDICO
  2842. The Rocke-who? It's not just-
  2843.  
  2844. DI PAOLO
  2845. The Council on Foreign Relations.
  2846.  
  2847. CREDICO
  2848. Yes, those are bad motherfuckers. The Council on Foreign Relations.
  2849.  
  2850. DI PAOLO
  2851. See that? The Bilderburg Group. Read that book.
  2852.  
  2853. CREDICO
  2854. And- and- as is-
  2855.  
  2856. DI PAOLO
  2857. Alright, Bill. You got him focused for a second. Thank you for that.
  2858.  
  2859. CREDICO
  2860. -the Trilateral Commission.
  2861.  
  2862. BILL IN LOUISVILLE
  2863. Have a good one.
  2864.  
  2865. DI PAOLO
  2866. Alright. Trilateral Commission. Which is founded by Mika Brzezinski's father!
  2867.  
  2868. CREDICO
  2869. Yeah, he was the biggest piece of shit in the history-
  2870.  
  2871. DI PAOLO
  2872. Do you believe I knew that? [sic - Can you believe I knew that?] Are you impressed?
  2873.  
  2874. CREDICO
  2875. I do- [does Zbignew Brzezisnki, I guess - it's just a low key Bernie Sanders] I don't do his voice very well. Remember when he talked about-
  2876.  
  2877. DI PAOLO
  2878. Do his daughter.
  2879.  
  2880. CREDICO
  2881. Huge...Joe does.
  2882.  
  2883. DI PAOLO
  2884. You see...
  2885.  
  2886. CREDICO
  2887. Everybody knows that Joe does the daughter. [though Credico speaks of this as under the table gossip, their relationship had been out in the open for months, and the subject of a magazine cover story]
  2888.  
  2889. DI PAOLO
  2890. Joe with those hillbilly eyes. Those Deliverance fucking eyes.
  2891.  
  2892. CREDICO
  2893. Worst fucking wig I've ever seen.
  2894.  
  2895. DI PAOLO
  2896. He's got a wig on?
  2897.  
  2898. CREDICO
  2899. I thought he had a hair hat. Whatever the fuck it is.
  2900.  
  2901. DI PAOLO
  2902. [hissing laugh] I thought he had a- he's got those hillbilly eyes.
  2903.  
  2904. CREDICO
  2905. Certainly if I could get a rug that nice, I'd get rid of the hair transplants.
  2906.  
  2907. DI PAOLO
  2908. What do you think of Rachel Maddow? Some nights I stare at her, I go, she's kinda cute. Am I fucking losing my mind?
  2909.  
  2910. CREDICO
  2911. I don't know, but-
  2912.  
  2913. DI PAOLO
  2914. Maybe I want to bang a young boy from fucking Ecuador. [does a high pitched, very annoying cry]
  2915.  
  2916. CREDICO
  2917. I don't know...
  2918.  
  2919. DI PAOLO
  2920. This is the best show on radio, ever. You guys can go fuck yourselves. Randy, your thoughts?
  2921.  
  2922. CREDICO
  2923. My thoughts, it's a great radio show, and you...take a lot of fucking freedom here. And definitely this is going to come back to haunt me. Alright?
  2924.  
  2925. DI PAOLO
  2926. You?
  2927.  
  2928. CREDICO
  2929. You?
  2930.  
  2931. DI PAOLO
  2932. I painted myself-
  2933.  
  2934. CREDICO
  2935. You're going to get fucked by the John Birch Society for hanging out with me. And then there are people that are going to say "Credico, you're on- and you said this, and you talked about Rachel Maddow-" Rachel Maddow is the biggest _whore_ on-
  2936.  
  2937. DI PAOLO
  2938. Oh!
  2939.  
  2940. CREDICO
  2941. I'm talking-
  2942.  
  2943. DI PAOLO
  2944. Don't say that.
  2945.  
  2946. CREDICO
  2947. I'm saying they're a whore for the-
  2948.  
  2949. DI PAOLO
  2950. Nice set of balls on her.
  2951.  
  2952. CREDICO
  2953. For the...uuuummmmm Deep State. Whatever you want to call it.
  2954.  
  2955. DI PAOLO
  2956. Yes.
  2957.  
  2958. CREDICO
  2959. She is so into it, she comes out and she panders-
  2960.  
  2961. DI PAOLO
  2962. Yes.
  2963.  
  2964. CREDICO
  2965. And she panders to her- And she spoon feeds her following, and she does a ten minute monologue-
  2966.  
  2967. DI PAOLO
  2968. Yes.
  2969.  
  2970. CREDICO
  2971. That she reads...
  2972.  
  2973. DI PAOLO
  2974. Yes.
  2975.  
  2976. CREDICO
  2977. And she is totally-
  2978.  
  2979. DI PAOLO
  2980. Does she write that monologue? Or does she have writers?
  2981.  
  2982. CREDICO
  2983. She reads it, but she's totally in control, by the so-called Deep State.
  2984.  
  2985. DI PAOLO
  2986. NBC.
  2987.  
  2988. CREDICO
  2989. She is totally- Which is controlled by guess who. Comcast.
  2990.  
  2991. DI PAOLO
  2992. That's right.
  2993.  
  2994. CREDICO
  2995. Which gets all the money from Boeing.
  2996.  
  2997. DI PAOLO
  2998. That's right.
  2999.  
  3000. CREDICO
  3001. So...she is a mouthpiece for Boeing.
  3002.  
  3003. DI PAOLO
  3004. Follow the money.
  3005.  
  3006. CREDICO
  3007. Just follow the money. And there's a show called "Lock Up". Let me talk about "Lock Up".
  3008.  
  3009. DI PAOLO
  3010. Oh my god, that's my favorite show!
  3011.  
  3012. CREDICO
  3013. It's the most racist fucking show.
  3014.  
  3015. DI PAOLO
  3016. Randy...it is the most- [inaudible]
  3017.  
  3018. CREDICO
  3019. THAT'S WHAT PAYS HER SALARY! THAT'S WHAT PAYS HER FUCKING SALARY!
  3020.  
  3021. DI PAOLO
  3022. It makes white people look bad! "Lock Up". They'll focus on the two white guys in prison.
  3023.  
  3024. CREDICO
  3025. Let me tell you something-
  3026.  
  3027. DI PAOLO
  3028. Then they'll show the eight black guys teaching bible class.
  3029.  
  3030. CREDICO
  3031. It's the most racist-
  3032.  
  3033. DI PAOLO
  3034. HOW TO MAKE FUCKING POTTERY. AW, KISS MY GRITS.
  3035.  
  3036. CREDICO
  3037. It's the worst show, and you know what?
  3038.  
  3039. DI PAOLO
  3040. I love that show.
  3041.  
  3042. CREDICO
  3043. Howard Fineman- Well, of course you would.
  3044.  
  3045. DI PAOLO
  3046. It's like Skype- It's like Skype for Black families.
  3047.  
  3048. CREDICO
  3049. You're like Crassus in Spartacus. You like a good fucking-
  3050.  
  3051. DI PAOLO
  3052. It's like Skype for Black families.
  3053.  
  3054. CREDICO
  3055. With the- With the- With the-
  3056.  
  3057. DI PAOLO
  3058. Even Black people laugh at that, when I say it on-stage.
  3059.  
  3060. CREDICO
  3061. No, let me tell you something-
  3062.  
  3063. DI PAOLO
  3064. He doesn't even know what Skype is. I'm right over Randy's-
  3065.  
  3066. CREDICO
  3067. She makes-
  3068.  
  3069. DI PAOLO
  3070. Right over his fishing hat.
  3071.  
  3072. CREDICO
  3073. She is supposedly a progressive, and-
  3074.  
  3075. DI PAOLO
  3076. She went to Oxford, for Christ's sake.
  3077.  
  3078. CREDICO
  3079. Yes. Alright. And she didn't even know how to say the name of uh the judge, that was involved in the uuuuh Dred Scott decision. Alright? Judge _Caney_ she said. I remember this. It was not Judge _Caney_ [it's Roger Taney].
  3080.  
  3081. DI PAOLO
  3082. It was Judge Roy Moore.
  3083.  
  3084. CREDICO
  3085. Yes. She didn't- She didn't know how to pronounce it. But I gotta tell you something, she is totally a mouthpiece for the power structure right now. She has no lattitude, at all, and so she's going to spend all of her time attacking, and using this bogus Russia-gate narrative, like she did the other day. The dossier. The dossier is a bunch of shit. I- You know, I'm not a Trump fan, but this whole dossier thing is a bunch of shit, and so-
  3086.  
  3087. DI PAOLO
  3088. Can I talk about that for a second? Because I actually had an article on it.
  3089.  
  3090. CREDICO
  3091. Go ahead, I'm tired of talking for a while.
  3092.  
  3093. DI PAOLO
  3094. Well, the Department of Justice-
  3095.  
  3096. CREDICO
  3097. Is there something that's not watered down here with that bottle you have to the left? [pause] I guess I shouldn't have mixed it with milk. [Credico sounds very, very drunk at this point]
  3098.  
  3099. DI PAOLO
  3100. [laughs] Should have seen him back in the nineties when he was doing blow. Mother of god. Let's talk about-
  3101.  
  3102. CREDICO
  3103. Alright, do you want me to leave?
  3104.  
  3105. DI PAOLO
  3106. No. No, I don't want you to leave. For chri- You leave, I'm gonna leave with you. Here's the thing-
  3107.  
  3108. CREDICO
  3109. You only have forty five minutes. This has been a very quick hour and fifteen minutes.
  3110.  
  3111. DI PAOLO
  3112. I know.
  3113.  
  3114. CREDICO
  3115. But we agree, she is-
  3116.  
  3117. DI PAOLO
  3118. For you.
  3119.  
  3120. CREDICO
  3121. She is a horrible human being-
  3122.  
  3123. DI PAOLO
  3124. Who?
  3125.  
  3126. CREDICO
  3127. And a liar.
  3128.  
  3129. DI PAOLO
  3130. Who are you talking about?
  3131.  
  3132. CREDICO
  3133. Rachel Maddow.
  3134.  
  3135. DI PAOLO
  3136. Yeah, but she's a good strong safety.
  3137.  
  3138. CREDICO
  3139. Actually-
  3140.  
  3141. DI PAOLO
  3142. She leads the league in tackles, an eight inch neck and a strong-
  3143.  
  3144. CREDICO
  3145. Philadelphia Eagles need a quarterback- Have a safety right now-
  3146.  
  3147. DI PAOLO
  3148. I know. Let's talk about the dossier though. How about the wife of this DOJ official, you've heard this guy, this guy Bruce Orr. His wife worked for GPS Fusion. The fucking people that put the dossier together.
  3149.  
  3150. CREDICO
  3151. Really.
  3152.  
  3153. DI PAOLO
  3154. Yes!
  3155.  
  3156. CREDICO
  3157. The- the dossier is a bunch of shit.
  3158.  
  3159. DI PAOLO
  3160. Is it a witch hunt, Randy?
  3161.  
  3162. CREDICO
  3163. Yes. I'm not a-
  3164.  
  3165. DI PAOLO
  3166. Thank you. Thank you.
  3167.  
  3168. CREDICO
  3169. -Trump fan-
  3170.  
  3171. DI PAOLO
  3172. Are you listening, Deena Bediah? Adella?
  3173.  
  3174. CREDICO
  3175. I'm not a Trump fan- Not a Trump fan-
  3176.  
  3177. DI PAOLO
  3178. Pete Domenic, are you listening?
  3179.  
  3180. CREDICO
  3181. If you want to go after Trump-
  3182.  
  3183. DI PAOLO
  3184. This is a far-left guy.
  3185.  
  3186. CREDICO
  3187. If you want to go after Trump, find legitimate reason, [sounds like he's taking big inhales, like he's about to sneeze or vomit] for me, to go after him. But don't use Russia-gate-
  3188.  
  3189. DI PAOLO
  3190. Don't throw up on that scarf. Go ahead.
  3191.  
  3192. CREDICO
  3193. Do not use Russia-gate. It's an illegitimate reason, and the Democratic uuuuuh leadership is running out of gas. That should be good for you. Because there's nothing to this dossier. The dossier is-
  3194.  
  3195. DI PAOLO
  3196. This is a left-winger saying this, folks.
  3197.  
  3198. CREDICO
  3199. No! The dossier's a bunch of shit. Stop using it. The Democrats want to go after them-
  3200.  
  3201. DI PAOLO
  3202. What would you go after them on?
  3203.  
  3204. CREDICO
  3205. What they should do is say that we have a better jobs program than Trump does. We have a better way for people in- in- in- in Michigan-
  3206.  
  3207. DI PAOLO
  3208. You really don't.
  3209.  
  3210. CREDICO
  3211. And Wisconsin-
  3212.  
  3213. DI PAOLO
  3214. But you really don't.
  3215.  
  3216. CREDICO
  3217. They don't.
  3218.  
  3219. DI PAOLO
  3220. No, they don't.
  3221.  
  3222. CREDICO
  3223. Don't go after him on this. I wanna hear some solutions.
  3224.  
  3225. DI PAOLO
  3226. The better jobs program bullshit-
  3227.  
  3228. CREDICO
  3229. I wanna hear some solutions.
  3230.  
  3231. DI PAOLO
  3232. Trickle down economics.
  3233.  
  3234. CREDICO
  3235. I wanna hear some solutions.
  3236.  
  3237. DI PAOLO
  3238. That's your solution. Trickle down economics.
  3239.  
  3240. CREDICO
  3241. I wanna hear some solutions [DI PAOLO burps] by the Democratic Party. Instead of...allegations, and the Trump allegations of Russia-gate, are a complete fantasy, and they're wasting the public's money and time on that.
  3242.  
  3243. DI PAOLO
  3244. Let's go to Ted in New York. Go, he has a question. FBI taking over the media, and he has some-
  3245.  
  3246. CREDICO
  3247. That's not Ted Bergeron, is it?
  3248.  
  3249. DI PAOLO
  3250. No no [laughs]. This is Ted Kennedy's ghost. Ted?
  3251.  
  3252. CREDICO
  3253. [does Ted Kennedy] And I would like to say this.
  3254.  
  3255. DI PAOLO
  3256. Say hello.
  3257.  
  3258. CREDICO
  3259. [doing Kennedy] Hehehehehe- [stops] Where'd he get that falsetto?
  3260.  
  3261. DI PAOLO
  3262. Go ahead, Ted.
  3263.  
  3264. TED IN NEW YORK
  3265. How we doing tonight?
  3266.  
  3267. DI PAOLO
  3268. It's obvious. I'm talking to you. I'm trying to babysit this maniac.
  3269.  
  3270. CREDICO
  3271. Yes.
  3272.  
  3273. DI PAOLO
  3274. Ted.
  3275.  
  3276. CREDICO
  3277. I'm gonna leave in about five minutes.
  3278.  
  3279. DI PAOLO
  3280. No, you're not.
  3281.  
  3282. CREDICO
  3283. So get your question out now.
  3284.  
  3285. TED IN NEW YORK
  3286. It's a difficult situation.
  3287.  
  3288. DI PAOLO
  3289. [laughs] Exactly.
  3290.  
  3291. CREDICO
  3292. Can you imagine having to hang out with me for two hours?
  3293.  
  3294. DI PAOLO
  3295. Listen. Go ahead, Ted.
  3296.  
  3297. TED IN NEW YORK
  3298. I'd love to, Nick. You're great, really. I listen to you every night.
  3299.  
  3300. DI PAOLO
  3301. Thank you.
  3302.  
  3303. TED IN NEW YORK
  3304. Back in the sixties, they did Operation Mockingbird, I believe it was called.
  3305.  
  3306. CREDICO
  3307. Yes! That's it.
  3308.  
  3309. TED IN NEW YORK
  3310. Took over the media.
  3311.  
  3312. CREDICO
  3313. It exists right now at MSNBC.
  3314.  
  3315. TED IN NEW YORK
  3316. Yeah. And you're right about the Department of Foreign Relations. I mean, they take over the whole media-
  3317.  
  3318. CREDICO
  3319. Why don't you talk about Operation Mockingbird? About the CIA takeover of the media? Go ahead. That's something that Nick needs to hear about.
  3320.  
  3321. DI PAOLO
  3322. I- No I read a little bit about it.
  3323.  
  3324. CREDICO
  3325. No, go ahead. Because I don't want to have to talk a lot.
  3326.  
  3327. DI PAOLO
  3328. Go ahead.
  3329.  
  3330. TED IN NEW YORK
  3331. Okay. Well. I was just touching on it, I mean, it's a real thing. People look it up, Operation Mockingbird, in the sixties, I believe the FBI took control of the media, to, you know, spin-
  3332.  
  3333. CREDICO
  3334. CIA, CIA did.
  3335.  
  3336. TED IN NEW YORK
  3337. CIA, I'm sorry.
  3338.  
  3339. DI PAOLO
  3340. Okay.
  3341.  
  3342. TED IN NEW YORK
  3343. But yeah, yeah. They just took over, and-
  3344.  
  3345. CREDICO
  3346. They pay people like David Corn and they pay people like Chris Hayes-
  3347.  
  3348. DI PAOLO
  3349. David Corn? What are you talking about?!
  3350.  
  3351. CREDICO
  3352. Rachel Maddow- [though Credico's libel should not need to be addressed - Corn was co-author of a scathing book on the false info that led to the Iraq war, "Hubris" as well we making his bones reporting the Iran-Contra crisis, while Maddow's book "Drift" is a critical and incredibly well researched analysis of the excessive size of the U.S. military; Hayes is a constant critic of the U.S. military, and his "Twilight of the Elites" is an unblinking look at the problems of economic inequality which gives a sound analysis of our era of crisis, and presciently anticipates our current moment of crisis. The achievements of all three in pushing back against the horrors of our age dwarf anything that Credico has every done.]
  3353.  
  3354. DI PAOLO
  3355. They weren't even alive in the sixties-
  3356.  
  3357. CREDICO
  3358. I'm saying now- They had people like that back then. Right now, the CIA pays the Washington Post six hundred million dollars as if Jeff Bezos needs it [this is a reference to the CIA's payments to Amazon for use of its cloud space; the CIA does not pay the Washington Post].
  3359.  
  3360. TED IN NEW YORK
  3361. Yeah. Yeah. [hesitant - he's in agreement, but as if he's realizing that Credico is just a buttonholing drunk]
  3362.  
  3363. CREDICO
  3364. You're right. Journalists- I understand they want to go, have a good time in D.C., at these nice restaurants-
  3365.  
  3366. DI PAOLO
  3367. So why does Obama and everybody's making fun of him-
  3368.  
  3369. CREDICO
  3370. He's- He's a piece of shit too.
  3371.  
  3372. DI PAOLO
  3373. HOLD ON, LET ME ASK MY QUESTION. Why the fuck is Fox News a joke? On the left? We all know the corruptness comes from the fucking left. Not the right.
  3374.  
  3375. TED IN NEW YORK
  3376. [inaudible] gonna hang up-
  3377.  
  3378. CREDICO
  3379. Well, whatever you feel about Fox News, I can tell you that- [inaudible] No no don't go!
  3380.  
  3381. [both TED IN NEW YORK and DI PAOLO say inaudible things in the cross talk]
  3382.  
  3383. DI PAOLO
  3384. Teddy, he doesn't want you to go. He loves you.
  3385.  
  3386. CREDICO
  3387. Alright, Ted. Listen, we're talking about MSNBC and CNN-
  3388.  
  3389. DI PAOLO
  3390. [laughs] He's gone!
  3391.  
  3392. CREDICO
  3393. -are both getting money from the CIA. They're both corrupt.
  3394.  
  3395. DI PAOLO
  3396. Two left wing networks.
  3397.  
  3398. CREDICO
  3399. They're not left wing! Man, they're-
  3400.  
  3401. DI PAOLO
  3402. You just say that because they're corporate owned.
  3403.  
  3404. CREDICO
  3405. They're- They are corporate owned.
  3406.  
  3407. DI PAOLO
  3408. That doesn't make them right wing.
  3409.  
  3410. CREDICO
  3411. Well, you think that Wolf Blitzer, is like Vladimir Lenin or something?!
  3412.  
  3413. DI PAOLO
  3414. The message is left wing. They're- What does- RANDY. What is your definition of left wing? [said at the same as CREDICO's previous line] What is your definition of a left winger?
  3415.  
  3416. CREDICO
  3417. What-
  3418.  
  3419. DI PAOLO
  3420. Give me a fucking-
  3421.  
  3422. CREDICO
  3423. Do you think that Lenin was-
  3424.  
  3425. DI PAOLO
  3426. GIVE ME A DEFINITION-
  3427.  
  3428. CREDICO
  3429. You going to tell me that he gets- He used to be on- He was an Israeli...Mossad.
  3430.  
  3431. DI PAOLO
  3432. Who was?
  3433.  
  3434. CREDICO
  3435. Mossad. [so drunk he can barely say it] Wolf Blitzer. [where he gets that Wolf Blitzer is a former Mossad agent, I have no idea] Wolf Blitzer got his fucking- He was an AIPAC spokesperson.
  3436.  
  3437. DI PAOLO
  3438. For the Mossad?! [genuinely incredulous]
  3439.  
  3440. CREDICO
  3441. Yes, he was an Israeli spokesperson.
  3442.  
  3443. DI PAOLO
  3444. So what?
  3445.  
  3446. CREDICO
  3447. So don't tell me he's a left winger.
  3448.  
  3449. DI PAOLO
  3450. What is your definition- Give me your definition, of somebody in the media that's a left-winger. [pause] According to you, they don't exist.
  3451.  
  3452. CREDICO
  3453. They don't exist.
  3454.  
  3455. DI PAOLO
  3456. You say that because you're a left-winger.
  3457.  
  3458. CREDICO
  3459. What- How- What is your definition of a left-winger?
  3460.  
  3461. DI PAOLO
  3462. Uuuuuuuh fucking uuuuuuuuh- Michelle Obama.
  3463.  
  3464. CREDICO
  3465. What does the left wing mean? [pause] Obama...
  3466.  
  3467. DI PAOLO
  3468. Somebody-
  3469.  
  3470. CREDICO
  3471. -was a corporate whore-
  3472.  
  3473. DI PAOLO
  3474. You asked me a question.
  3475.  
  3476. CREDICO
  3477. He was a Wall Street whore.
  3478.  
  3479. DI PAOLO
  3480. Bill uh- Bernie Sanders. Bernie Sander is a left winger. He's a left winger.
  3481.  
  3482. CREDICO
  3483. [like a monster in a horror movie sequel, the Sanders impression returns] Bernie Sanders. He's a guy who was good on some kind of issues. I will agree with him. And I agree with him on a lot of his domestic policies.
  3484.  
  3485. DI PAOLO
  3486. Elizabeth Warren is a leftie.
  3487.  
  3488. CREDICO
  3489. She is Ruth Buzzi, alright? [I don't get the reference]
  3490.  
  3491. DI PAOLO
  3492. See? Every time I make a good point, he slips into a character.
  3493.  
  3494. CREDICO
  3495. I would say that she looks like Ruth Buzzi.
  3496.  
  3497. DI PAOLO
  3498. Is Sanders a left winger?
  3499.  
  3500. CREDICO
  3501. He's a left winger on foreign- on domestic policy, not on foreign policy. Because-
  3502.  
  3503. DI PAOLO
  3504. What is he on foreign- He doesn't-
  3505.  
  3506. CREDICO
  3507. He doesn't, no. We support Saudi Arabia.
  3508.  
  3509. DI PAOLO
  3510. Do you agree with-
  3511.  
  3512. CREDICO
  3513. I know you're a big fan of Saudi Arabia. And you support-
  3514.  
  3515. DI PAOLO
  3516. Nono- Just their driving rules. Go ahead.
  3517.  
  3518. CREDICO
  3519. You support-
  3520.  
  3521. DI PAOLO
  3522. I saw my wife try to parallel park the other night, I would have fucking stoned her to death myself.
  3523.  
  3524. CREDICO
  3525. I would rather drive with Andi, than with you. [pause] Alright? [pause] Yes. [DI PAOLO: I drove-] She's a very sharp person.
  3526.  
  3527. DI PAOLO
  3528. I know.
  3529.  
  3530. CREDICO
  3531. She is very sharp.
  3532.  
  3533. DI PAOLO
  3534. Tell me about it.
  3535.  
  3536. CREDICO
  3537. Alright? I never hit on her, but if I were [DI PAOLO: Yeah, you did!] to hit on a woman, it would be her. Huh?
  3538.  
  3539. DI PAOLO
  3540. You did. But I like you so much, I took it as a compliment.
  3541.  
  3542. CREDICO
  3543. It would be like...let me tell you something...
  3544.  
  3545. DI PAOLO
  3546. I got a guy here, who Assange knows, who hit on my wife. How small a world is this, folks?
  3547.  
  3548. CREDICO
  3549. No...you look at her, and you turn to stone. Alright? That's how- that's how-
  3550.  
  3551. DI PAOLO
  3552. You notice- You notice [inaudible] that I make better? I'm like fucking Gretzky. Anyone notice that, me and Bennington- [Ron Bennington, comedian with shows on SiriusXM]
  3553.  
  3554. CREDICO
  3555. You're more like- Svengali.
  3556.  
  3557. DI PAOLO
  3558. Okay. Svengali.
  3559.  
  3560. CREDICO
  3561. Or you're more like-
  3562.  
  3563. DI PAOLO
  3564. If you want to bring up the Irish.
  3565.  
  3566. CREDICO
  3567. He wasn't- Oh my god. You like getting my guard, you're going into Archie Bunker mode.
  3568.  
  3569. DI PAOLO
  3570. Oh, I'll give you some Archie Bunker.
  3571.  
  3572. CREDICO
  3573. You want some Archie Bunker? [does maybe Archie Bunker; sounds like an eccentric senator who's really high giving a filibuster speech] Hold itHold itHold itHold it...Weird chichi medium. We insist! We insist...on...
  3574.  
  3575. DI PAOLO
  3576. What are you talking about?
  3577.  
  3578. CREDICO
  3579. There was something that he said that was really funny. [long pause] That...
  3580.  
  3581. DI PAOLO
  3582. Yeah. Could you bring it up now?
  3583.  
  3584. CREDICO
  3585. Yes. Oh, you couldn't come up with it?
  3586.  
  3587. DI PAOLO
  3588. I can't find it.
  3589.  
  3590. CREDICO
  3591. [some incoherent noise] He did something with Sammy Davis Jr. I _knew_ Sammy Davis Jr. [does Davis] Sammy said, "You know what? Your impressions are-"
  3592.  
  3593. DI PAOLO
  3594. Did you watch "The Sopranos"?
  3595.  
  3596. CREDICO
  3597. Yeah, I was very good friends with Steve Schirripa. Is he still alive?
  3598.  
  3599. DI PAOLO
  3600. I knew Schirripa too. "Is he still alive?"!
  3601.  
  3602. CREDICO
  3603. I knew him in '75.
  3604.  
  3605. DI PAOLO
  3606. You make it sound like he's eighty one years old. He's not Buddy fucking Ebsen. [actor who played the old father in "The Beverly Hillbillies"]
  3607.  
  3608. CREDICO
  3609. We did a lot of cocaine together-
  3610.  
  3611. DI PAOLO
  3612. [laughing hard] Is he still alive!
  3613.  
  3614. CREDICO
  3615. Alright, so, let me tell ya about Schirripa.
  3616.  
  3617. DI PAOLO
  3618. Go on.
  3619.  
  3620. CREDICO
  3621. He introduced me to: guess who.
  3622.  
  3623. DI PAOLO
  3624. Dominic Chianese. [inaudible] Junior. [Chianese played Junior Soprano]
  3625.  
  3626. CREDICO
  3627. No, he inroduced me to the guy-
  3628.  
  3629. DI PAOLO
  3630. Barbara Streisand.
  3631.  
  3632. CREDICO
  3633. -who Joe Pesci played in "Casino".
  3634.  
  3635. DI PAOLO
  3636. [genuinely impressed] You're kidding me. [CREDICO: This-] Nicky Santoro?
  3637.  
  3638. CREDICO
  3639. [incoherent noise] No, his name was uh- I can't think of the name-
  3640.  
  3641. DI PAOLO
  3642. Nicky Santoro!
  3643.  
  3644. CREDICO
  3645. No no, it was-
  3646.  
  3647. DI PAOLO
  3648. It was the guy-
  3649.  
  3650. CREDICO
  3651. No no, the real guy-
  3652.  
  3653. DI PAOLO
  3654. Oh, the real guy. In the meantime, can I play-
  3655.  
  3656. CREDICO
  3657. It was Frank Rosenthal, was the guy that- that...that uh...whats-his-name played. Robert De Niro. The other guy, that Pesci played, was a mob guy-
  3658.  
  3659. DI PAOLO
  3660. From Chicago.
  3661.  
  3662. CREDICO
  3663. Yes. Chicago, they got hit in the cornfield.
  3664.  
  3665. DI PAOLO
  3666. Yup.
  3667.  
  3668. CREDICO
  3669. Well, you know, Steve Schirripa says, "He'd like to manage you." Alright? [DI PAOLO's hissing balloon laugh] He was-
  3670.  
  3671. DI PAOLO
  3672. He wanted- The real guy wanted to manage you?
  3673.  
  3674. CREDICO
  3675. The real guy wanted to manage me.
  3676.  
  3677. FIORI
  3678. Spilotro.
  3679.  
  3680. CREDICO
  3681. Tony Spilotro. [the reason why the name is different from the character in the movie, though the movie is based on a non-fiction book featuring characters with their real names, is for legal reasons]
  3682.  
  3683. DI PAOLO
  3684. There you go.
  3685.  
  3686. CREDICO
  3687. Alright, so Spilotro-
  3688.  
  3689. DI PAOLO
  3690. WHY DID HE WANT TO MANAGE YOU?
  3691.  
  3692. CREDICO
  3693. I was twenty two years old...
  3694.  
  3695. DI PAOLO
  3696. We got two minutes before a break. Go ahead.
  3697.  
  3698. CREDICO
  3699. He was working at the Hacienda Hotel, his wife- his girlfriend was. This is my good friend uuuuuuh Steve Schirripa.
  3700.  
  3701. DI PAOLO
  3702. Yeah.
  3703.  
  3704. CREDICO
  3705. He was twenty two, twenty three years old.
  3706.  
  3707. DI PAOLO
  3708. I love Schirripa.
  3709.  
  3710. CREDICO
  3711. His girlfriend, right at the time, at the Hacienda. She died. She died-
  3712.  
  3713. DI PAOLO
  3714. Very mysteriously. In a puddle. Behind the MGM Grand.
  3715.  
  3716. CREDICO
  3717. No, don't say that. [DI PAOLO is laughing] No, he was very much in love with her. It was his junior high school sweetheart. Alright? And-
  3718.  
  3719. DI PAOLO
  3720. Schirripa's?
  3721.  
  3722. CREDICO
  3723. Melissa. Melissa was her name. She was a blackjack dealer, at the Tropica- At the Hacienda-
  3724.  
  3725. DI PAOLO
  3726. And it was Schirripa's girlfriend?
  3727.  
  3728. CREDICO
  3729. Yes. She died.
  3730.  
  3731. DI PAOLO
  3732. I didn't know that.
  3733.  
  3734. CREDICO
  3735. And- and- [DI PAOLO: Sorry.] Schirripa and I was very close [sic], he was working at Paul Anka's place, [inaudible] and it was called The Brewery.
  3736.  
  3737. DI PAOLO
  3738. And The Riviera.
  3739.  
  3740. CREDICO
  3741. And The Riviera. But _much_ later. In '86, '87. We're talking '75 when I first met him.
  3742.  
  3743. DI PAOLO
  3744. I didn't know you were that old. Go ahead, Randy.
  3745.  
  3746. CREDICO
  3747. I was twenty years old-
  3748.  
  3749. DI PAOLO
  3750. Stupid fisherman hat.
  3751.  
  3752. CREDICO
  3753. [pause] This is a Che hat. [hat like Che Guevera wore] Do you want to hear a great story about...or do you want to go to a break?
  3754.  
  3755. DI PAOLO
  3756. Could you keep it under a fucking hour?!
  3757.  
  3758. CREDICO
  3759. Yes. No no- Go ahead.
  3760.  
  3761. DI PAOLO
  3762. [genuinely upset] JESUS CHRIST. You demented motherfucker.
  3763.  
  3764. CREDICO
  3765. [pause] Well, my close friend Steve-
  3766.  
  3767. DI PAOLO
  3768. When we come back, Steve Schirripa, who played Bobby Baccalieri on "The Sopranos", that's why I brought this up. Randy's gonna finish his story - under a half hour, so...
  3769.  
  3770. CREDICO
  3771. I'm not even gonna talk about it anymore.
  3772.  
  3773. DI PAOLO
  3774. Aw, you're gonna be a little baby? [pause] You sound like a left-wing-
  3775.  
  3776. CREDICO
  3777. You want to talk-
  3778.  
  3779. DI PAOLO
  3780. You sound like a left-wing _fag_.
  3781.  
  3782. CREDICO
  3783. He was a very close- I'm gonna...
  3784.  
  3785. DI PAOLO
  3786. [hissing laugh] There is no- There is no-
  3787.  
  3788. CREDICO
  3789. I'm not a left winger. I'm just a fag. Alright.
  3790.  
  3791. DI PAOLO
  3792. Let's take a break.
  3793.  
  3794. CREDICO
  3795. You're such a gay baiter.
  3796.  
  3797. DI PAOLO
  3798. [hiss] Let's take a break. You're the one hanging out with Roger Stone. I'm not a gay baiter.
  3799.  
  3800. CREDICO
  3801. You think Roger's gay?
  3802.  
  3803. DI PAOLO
  3804. No, I don't. I saw him in that parade without a shirt, he looks like a fucking rugged individual.
  3805.  
  3806. CREDICO
  3807. [no energy] Yes. A lot of young men would like him.
  3808.  
  3809. DI PAOLO
  3810. Let's take a break.
  3811.  
  3812. CREDICO
  3813. [half assed Nixon impression] He's got the Nixon tattoo.
  3814.  
  3815. DI PAOLO
  3816. And Randy's gonna tell us-
  3817.  
  3818. CREDICO
  3819. I'm in so much trouble tonight.
  3820.  
  3821. DI PAOLO
  3822. -about Bobby Baccalieri on "The Sopranos", who's Steve Schirripa, who I love, by the way.
  3823.  
  3824. CREDICO
  3825. A very close friend, for forty years.
  3826.  
  3827. DI PAOLO
  3828. [taken aback] That long you've known Steve!
  3829.  
  3830. CREDICO
  3831. Like, 1975.
  3832.  
  3833. DI PAOLO
  3834. He was a kid! He's a nice guy. Great guy. Let's take a break, we'll come back, talk "Sopranos", talk anything Randy wants to talk about. Before he passes away, in about a month.
  3835.  
  3836. [break]
  3837.  
  3838. CREDICO
  3839. This is it?
  3840.  
  3841. DI PAOLO
  3842. Final segment.
  3843.  
  3844. CREDICO
  3845. I'm gonna spend a lot of time talking about what the fuck happened to me at WBAI. I love this.
  3846.  
  3847. DI PAOLO
  3848. That was "Hell to-" Okay. We'll get to that in one second. Let me just find-
  3849.  
  3850. CREDICO
  3851. Because I'd like to come to Sirius radio. I love this.
  3852.  
  3853. [clip plays from "Helter Skelter", TV movie about Charles Manson - we hear the line from Manson, "I told you I'm already dead."]
  3854.  
  3855. CREDICO
  3856. Who is that?
  3857.  
  3858. DI PAOLO
  3859. That's you talking about your career. [hissing laugh]
  3860.  
  3861. CREDICO
  3862. Aw, you like that. You look like uuuuuuh uuuuuh Spanky from the fucking "Little Rascals" doing that, alright? [DI PAOLO laughs some more] Seriously. Or maybe Alfalfa.
  3863.  
  3864. DI PAOLO
  3865. Randy had a radio show at WBAI-
  3866.  
  3867. CREDICO
  3868. And the most popular show. I had sixty five percent of all internet traffic was mine [65% of the WBAI web site's traffic was for his show].
  3869.  
  3870. DI PAOLO
  3871. Oh - so it wasn't a radio show, it was an internet show.
  3872.  
  3873. CREDICO
  3874. No no, it was a radio show, but nobody listens to it, alright, because ninety percent-
  3875.  
  3876. DI PAOLO
  3877. It was terrestrial radio? Terrestrial radio.
  3878.  
  3879. CREDICO
  3880. It's a local radio station, at a very good location. Ninety nine point five-
  3881.  
  3882. DI PAOLO
  3883. Where? Fred Dicker's basement? Where was it?
  3884.  
  3885. CREDICO
  3886. [seems genuinely hurt] No! [pause] I'm talking- Let me- You're not going to let me talk about it. Because I've been here for a long time, I've tolerated all your bullshit [DI PAOLO's hissing laugh again]. Alright? And watered down fucking rum. Alright?
  3887.  
  3888. DI PAOLO
  3889. But you're drinking it out of the bottle.
  3890.  
  3891. CREDICO
  3892. I'm not. I'm drinking milk here. Alright?
  3893.  
  3894. DI PAOLO
  3895. Why did you get fired from W-A-B-...WBAI?
  3896.  
  3897. CREDICO
  3898. I didn't get- Here's what happened-
  3899.  
  3900. DI PAOLO
  3901. It's a left wing station, and they still don't like you.
  3902.  
  3903. CREDICO
  3904. It's a left-wing station- Sixty five percent of-
  3905.  
  3906. DI PAOLO
  3907. Was it the Greek fisherman's hat?
  3908.  
  3909. CREDICO
  3910. It's because I exposed corruption. [pause] At the top. You talk about sexism. And uuuuh and fucking around with women. The two guys that are there right now-
  3911.  
  3912. DI PAOLO
  3913. Lefties.
  3914.  
  3915. CREDICO
  3916. They're not lefties. They are corrupt motherfuckers-
  3917.  
  3918. DI PAOLO
  3919. It's money.
  3920.  
  3921. CREDICO
  3922. One of them is by the name of Berthold Reimers. And the other one is Tony- who got fired from any job he ever got from-
  3923.  
  3924. DI PAOLO
  3925. Tony, as an Italian fella?
  3926.  
  3927. CREDICO
  3928. No. Tony Bates. It's not his real name. [DI PAOLO is laughing] But Tony Bates. You know, he's a guy who was fired from WBAI, 2011, and he got-
  3929.  
  3930. DI PAOLO
  3931. And when did you get canned?
  3932.  
  3933. CREDICO
  3934. And so, I had the most popular station [sic]. He comes in, they don't even hire him, because the local station board would not confirm him, as their program director. So they- The general manager, who's involved in all sorts of- You know what the general manager at the station does? He's got one of these NYCHA [NYC Housing Authority] homes? He actually rents out-
  3935.  
  3936. DI PAOLO
  3937. What homes?
  3938.  
  3939. CREDICO
  3940. NYCHA.
  3941.  
  3942. DI PAOLO
  3943. What is that?
  3944.  
  3945. CREDICO
  3946. New York City Housing Authority-
  3947.  
  3948. DI PAOLO
  3949. Oh, it's De Blasio-
  3950.  
  3951. CREDICO
  3952. It's a subsidized thing. He actually- The guy makes a hundred grand a year, he's renting out one his rooms, he's getting subsidized by the city-
  3953.  
  3954. DI PAOLO
  3955. By the city, and then he rents the room out.
  3956.  
  3957. CREDICO
  3958. By the city, and then he rents the room out.
  3959.  
  3960. DI PAOLO
  3961. Didn't De Blasio try to do that? Remember he moved out of his triple decker-
  3962.  
  3963. CREDICO
  3964. No, but this is the general manager-
  3965.  
  3966. DI PAOLO
  3967. What you're finding out is that leftists are the most greedy people-
  3968.  
  3969. CREDICO
  3970. He's not a leftist. He's not a leftist. I'm just telling you, he's a corrupt guy-
  3971.  
  3972. DI PAOLO
  3973. I guess [inaudible] leftist [inaudible]. Go ahead.
  3974.  
  3975. CREDICO
  3976. I'm just saying, he's the guy running the station. And I exposed him.
  3977.  
  3978. DI PAOLO
  3979. And you ratted him out.
  3980.  
  3981. CREDICO
  3982. I ratted him out.
  3983.  
  3984. DI PAOLO
  3985. Well, of course you're gonna get fired for that.
  3986.  
  3987. CREDICO
  3988. I got- And then we have the- And then he tried to fuck any one that moves there. [pause] Alright? Including Julianna Forlano [WBAI radio host]. He was- Julianna Forlano. I'm not supposed to say her name. But he was moving on her, and you know that.
  3989.  
  3990. DI PAOLO
  3991. Could you spell that please? Could you use it in a sentence?
  3992.  
  3993. CREDICO
  3994. She's an Italian woman with a child.
  3995.  
  3996. DI PAOLO
  3997. Could you use it in a sentence? "My boss tried to fuck Julianna Forlano."
  3998.  
  3999. CREDICO
  4000. She's a woman with a child. And married. And this fucking asshole- So I exposed that, and then suddenly I get fired. Why did I get fired? Because he said I was collaborating with the greatest, most celebrated journalist in the world, John Pilger. Won two hundred and seventy five awards, to try to-
  4001.  
  4002. DI PAOLO
  4003. Nobody's ever heard of him.
  4004.  
  4005. CREDICO
  4006. [pause] Well, look him up.
  4007.  
  4008. DI PAOLO
  4009. I did.
  4010.  
  4011. CREDICO
  4012. Look up John Pilger.
  4013.  
  4014. DI PAOLO
  4015. I did.
  4016.  
  4017. CREDICO
  4018. Look up John Pilger, alright?
  4019.  
  4020. DI PAOLO
  4021. He won the "Daily Show" award-
  4022.  
  4023. CREDICO
  4024. Yeah, he's eighty years old. He's made seventy films. This is not something I'm fucking around with. But they got rid of me, because I exposed the corruption at the station. All of the engineers there hate- _hate_...
  4025.  
  4026. DI PAOLO
  4027. But does that surprise you? You expose your boss? [CREDICO: They're not-] And you get kicked out?
  4028.  
  4029. CREDICO
  4030. Uh, well, yes. It doesn't- It does surprise me.
  4031.  
  4032. DI PAOLO
  4033. Why?
  4034.  
  4035. CREDICO
  4036. Because I- I- I exposed them to the National Director- They are still there, and everyone was supposed to come to my side, when I went out and exposed them.
  4037.  
  4038. DI PAOLO
  4039. Your side has no morals. Has no values.
  4040.  
  4041. CREDICO
  4042. Nonono. They were supposed to be there for-
  4043.  
  4044. DI PAOLO
  4045. They weren't there for you.
  4046.  
  4047. CREDICO
  4048. But...you know what? It's like-
  4049.  
  4050. DI PAOLO
  4051. Cuz...they're-
  4052.  
  4053. CREDICO
  4054. Why? They wanted their little bit of fame. They wanted their little five minutes of fame. And having a radio show at a station that no one listens to. They should've been there for me. When I came out and I exposed them-
  4055.  
  4056. DI PAOLO
  4057. How long were you at that station?
  4058.  
  4059. CREDICO
  4060. A year and a half, I had sixty five percent of all internet traffic [traffic for the station's web site], was my show. And I- You see the people I had on the show? Can you show that?
  4061.  
  4062. DI PAOLO
  4063. Yeah, we're trying to find out who the leaker is. It's between- We have it down between-
  4064.  
  4065. CREDICO
  4066. I had- And the guys hated the fact that I exposed them.
  4067.  
  4068. DI PAOLO
  4069. It's between Steve Schirripa-
  4070.  
  4071. CREDICO
  4072. You have any like, latkes here?
  4073.  
  4074. DI PAOLO
  4075. It's between- [laughs] Latkes?
  4076.  
  4077. CREDICO
  4078. Yes. I need something to eat right now.
  4079.  
  4080. DI PAOLO
  4081. This is- This is a- [balloon hissing]
  4082.  
  4083. CREDICO
  4084. Sorry- Let me ask you a question. When you eat rigatoni, do you not just have it with olive oil, garlic, red pepper...
  4085.  
  4086. DI PAOLO
  4087. Sometimes.
  4088.  
  4089. CREDICO
  4090. That's the only way I have-
  4091.  
  4092. DI PAOLO
  4093. Randy- Randy- You just reminded me. You made me- Do you remember when I lived on Doheny in L.A.? And Ralph's was across the street?
  4094.  
  4095. CREDICO
  4096. Yes.
  4097.  
  4098. DI PAOLO
  4099. You showed up at my door, with one of those roast chickens? You used to laugh about how much grease- He was like- He was a health nut- He talks like-
  4100.  
  4101. CREDICO
  4102. You could actually fill up a diesel truck, with the shit that came out of those chickens, at Ralph's.
  4103.  
  4104. DI PAOLO
  4105. He would de-tox for like a week, would not eat anything, and then show up with a Ralph's roasted chicken. And he would ring the grease out in my sink, and he would belly laugh, until he almost fainted.
  4106.  
  4107. CREDICO
  4108. Who was the guy- Adam Leslie smoked one of those motherfuckers out...of Ralph's. Right? And he had a permanent stain-
  4109.  
  4110. DI PAOLO
  4111. Adam Leslie [inaudible] drug addict.
  4112.  
  4113. CREDICO
  4114. -and he had a permanent stain, as if he was branded as a slave. By carrying one of those chickens out, in between his jeans and his stomach, he brought one out, and he had a permanent scar, and he actually was working, picking cotton, in Sonoma county.
  4115.  
  4116. DI PAOLO
  4117. [inaudible]
  4118.  
  4119. CREDICO
  4120. Yes.
  4121.  
  4122. DI PAOLO
  4123. I confuse him with Mitch Walter.
  4124.  
  4125. CREDICO
  4126. They look the same. [inaudible] into blow [inaudible]
  4127.  
  4128. DI PAOLO
  4129. Which one did Reynolds [presumably, Mike Reynolds] know well? Mitch Walter or-
  4130.  
  4131. CREDICO
  4132. Anyone that had some blow.
  4133.  
  4134. DI PAOLO
  4135. One of them slept- Which one's dead? [CREDICO: I gotta taste-] Are they both dead?
  4136.  
  4137. CREDICO
  4138. Who knows. I think Mitchell's still alive.
  4139.  
  4140. DI PAOLO
  4141. Okay, then Adam Leslie is-
  4142.  
  4143. CREDICO
  4144. -still trying to get a spot at The Comedy Store.
  4145.  
  4146. DI PAOLO
  4147. One of them used to sleep on Reynolds's-
  4148.  
  4149. CREDICO
  4150. I gotta say a shout out to my friends at WBAI-
  4151.  
  4152. DI PAOLO
  4153. It's like I'm not even here. [probably a reference to FIORI and PALUMBO being indifferent to what's going on]
  4154.  
  4155. CREDICO
  4156. Well, they got their- They know that we went off on a tangent here.
  4157.  
  4158. DI PAOLO
  4159. Yeah, _we_ did.
  4160.  
  4161. CREDICO
  4162. My friends Reggie and-
  4163.  
  4164. DI PAOLO
  4165. I went off on a tangent of a story about what happened to you ten years ago. [laughs]
  4166.  
  4167. CREDICO
  4168. That I know- These assholes at the station [DI PAOLO: Yes.] sooner or later, they will be gone, they got rid of me, even though I had sixty five percent, because I had the goods on them.
  4169.  
  4170. DI PAOLO
  4171. Do you know that's why I have you on tonight? But this is what I love about you, seriously. Lotta lefties, you know, yap the yap, but I ran into you fifteen years ago now-
  4172.  
  4173. CREDICO
  4174. At a chicken dinner.
  4175.  
  4176. DI PAOLO
  4177. [laughs] No. Maybe two- You were handing out Rockefeller fliers, on the street. On the Upper East Side, or something.
  4178.  
  4179. CREDICO
  4180. I'm a passionate motherfucker.
  4181.  
  4182. DI PAOLO
  4183. No, but you believe-
  4184.  
  4185. CREDICO
  4186. My father did ten years in prison, he was Italian.
  4187.  
  4188. DI PAOLO
  4189. You walk the walk, though. You don't just talk it.
  4190.  
  4191. CREDICO
  4192. Yes.
  4193.  
  4194. DI PAOLO
  4195. That's why I'm a fucking fan.
  4196.  
  4197. CREDICO
  4198. But I- I am against- Prison is not the place to put people, it's a waste of time...
  4199.  
  4200. DI PAOLO
  4201. It's because your dad did ten years. That's why you- If your sister-
  4202.  
  4203. CREDICO
  4204. If your dad did ten years-
  4205.  
  4206. DI PAOLO
  4207. If my dad raped somebody, I'd fucking hope he did ten years.
  4208.  
  4209. CREDICO
  4210. My father was a safecracker.
  4211.  
  4212. DI PAOLO
  4213. He was a safecrack- Aw- Did he do SingSing?
  4214.  
  4215. CREDICO
  4216. Did you ever see the movie, ummmm, the movie-
  4217.  
  4218. DI PAOLO
  4219. [laughing] "Jaws"?
  4220.  
  4221. CREDICO
  4222. No no...aw c'mon, the movie with Tim Robbins and uh-
  4223.  
  4224. DI PAOLO
  4225. Yes!
  4226.  
  4227. FIORI
  4228. "Shawshank".
  4229.  
  4230. DI PAOLO
  4231. Aw no!
  4232.  
  4233. CREDICO
  4234. That was the supposed place-
  4235.  
  4236. DI PAOLO
  4237. Up in Maine? Up in Maine?
  4238.  
  4239. CREDICO
  4240. But they shot it at Mansfield, Ohio prison.
  4241.  
  4242. DI PAOLO
  4243. Yes. I love that prison movie, where there was one Black prisoner.
  4244.  
  4245. CREDICO
  4246. My father did ten years in prison.
  4247.  
  4248. DI PAOLO
  4249. In Ohio?
  4250.  
  4251. CREDICO
  4252. In that prison there. They shot it at my father- My father did ten years in that prison.
  4253.  
  4254. DI PAOLO
  4255. In Ohio, but it was "Shawshank", the movie. They shot it in Ohio.
  4256.  
  4257. CREDICO
  4258. They shot it at my father's prison.
  4259.  
  4260. DI PAOLO
  4261. Your dad was cracking safes? What is this, 1911?
  4262.  
  4263. CREDICO
  4264. 1931.
  4265.  
  4266. DI PAOLO
  4267. [genuinely taken aback] Holy shit!
  4268.  
  4269. CREDICO
  4270. Before I was born. He was eighteen years old. He was a- immaculate dresser-
  4271.  
  4272. DI PAOLO
  4273. 866-
  4274.  
  4275. CREDICO
  4276. -and during the Depression, he did- crack safes, and he did ten years in a prison, that was showcased in that movie, "Shawshank Redemption". So, Morgan Freeman did digital fucking time, my father did real time, in that prison.
  4277.  
  4278. DI PAOLO
  4279. Where Morgan Freeman was the only Black prisoner.
  4280.  
  4281. CREDICO
  4282. Okay? In that dank fucking prison, that's the reason why I'm so passionate about prisons.
  4283.  
  4284. DI PAOLO
  4285. There ya go. 866- I'm glad he didn't do time in a fucking Burger King. Or we'd have those torn down. Made no sense. 866-969-1969.
  4286.  
  4287. CREDICO
  4288. You eat a lot of Burger King? Or do you like McDonald's? I know, because Trump likes- Trump likes-
  4289.  
  4290. DI PAOLO
  4291. [laughs] This is the guy that Julian Assange hangs out with.
  4292.  
  4293. CREDICO
  4294. Yeah, he likes-
  4295.  
  4296. DI PAOLO
  4297. He loves you, Assange. Why would he trust you so implicitly? He doesn't even know you.
  4298.  
  4299. CREDICO
  4300. Yes, because he knows I don't know a motherfucking thing about technology. Seriously.
  4301.  
  4302. DI PAOLO
  4303. No, why-
  4304.  
  4305. CREDICO
  4306. I don't even know how to put a thumb drive- I don't even know how to put a thumb drive in, and take shit off of my computer. Somebody says - "Why don't you clear off all this shit off your computer?" I say, "How do I do that?" This is just the other day. You take a thumb drive-
  4307.  
  4308. DI PAOLO
  4309. I know.
  4310.  
  4311. CREDICO
  4312. I know nothing about it!
  4313.  
  4314. DI PAOLO
  4315. My buddy was a bookie.
  4316.  
  4317. CREDICO
  4318. I don't know!
  4319.  
  4320. DI PAOLO
  4321. In Malden, Mass. He knew how to do it. And this is back in the fucking early nineties, you know. But why would Assange-
  4322.  
  4323. CREDICO
  4324. Were you friends with Whitey Bulger?
  4325.  
  4326. DI PAOLO
  4327. Noooo! Christ.
  4328.  
  4329. CREDICO
  4330. A lot of people say that you were his connection to the FBI.
  4331.  
  4332. DI PAOLO
  4333. He's Irish. He'd kill me in a second.
  4334.  
  4335. CREDICO
  4336. Alright. You're from Northtown.
  4337.  
  4338. DI PAOLO
  4339. [laughs] What? The North end of things? I grew up in a suburb.
  4340.  
  4341. CREDICO
  4342. You worked a lot at Nick's, right?
  4343.  
  4344. DI PAOLO
  4345. I grew up in the suburbs, I looked like a ginza loan. I wouldn't last eight minutes-
  4346.  
  4347. CREDICO
  4348. [inaudible] you're definitely a Nick's comic.
  4349.  
  4350. DI PAOLO
  4351. Colin Quinn said-
  4352.  
  4353. CREDICO
  4354. You're such a Nick's comic.
  4355.  
  4356. DI PAOLO
  4357. Well, Davey kicked me out of Nick's. That gives you an idea how my act-
  4358.  
  4359. CREDICO
  4360. Too far to the left.
  4361.  
  4362. DI PAOLO
  4363. No! No. There was a- There was a gay group there one night. I didn't know. This is like the late eighties. When AIDS was peaking. And somebody was heckling me, and I say- I yelled something out there that was very derogatory, and uh, the manager at Nick's is- this is- you know- this is-
  4364.  
  4365. CREDICO
  4366. Dominic.
  4367.  
  4368. DI PAOLO
  4369. Dominic. It was actually his boss.
  4370.  
  4371. CREDICO
  4372. Dominic cokehead.
  4373.  
  4374. DI PAOLO
  4375. It was one of the owners, I think, Sonny.
  4376.  
  4377. CREDICO
  4378. Oh, that Sonny.
  4379.  
  4380. DI PAOLO
  4381. They go, "What happened to this kid? He started here, went out to L.A. for a year, came back very fucking angry." This is coming from a fucking mobster.
  4382.  
  4383. CREDICO
  4384. [inaudible] definitely mobbed up. Definitely mobbed up.
  4385.  
  4386. DI PAOLO
  4387. He goes..."I came back from L.A.!" Very angry.
  4388.  
  4389. CREDICO
  4390. The other guy was Jackie Gateman.
  4391.  
  4392. DI PAOLO
  4393. YES! [CREDICO: Jackie Gateman...] How the hell would you know that?
  4394.  
  4395. CREDICO
  4396. Well, because he hustled me for three hundred dollars in pool. Before I even worked at night, so I had to give him the coke that was given free. To Jackie, he gave me the three hundred I made for two shows-
  4397.  
  4398. DI PAOLO
  4399. Should we be opening that? He's probably still alive. I don't want to get a-
  4400.  
  4401. CREDICO
  4402. I don't think so.
  4403.  
  4404. DI PAOLO
  4405. I don't want to get a slug in my left ear on the way home.
  4406.  
  4407. CREDICO
  4408. Do you ever...
  4409.  
  4410. DI PAOLO
  4411. I love Gateman. Jackie would- Jackie, all the customers-
  4412.  
  4413. CREDICO
  4414. He had the ugliest face I've ever seen in my life.
  4415.  
  4416. DI PAOLO
  4417. Well, Steve-
  4418.  
  4419. CREDICO
  4420. There's no way, you could paint a face that had- He had- What was par for his face? [DI PAOLO laughs] He had more fucking holes- Like an eighteen hole fucking golf course.
  4421.  
  4422. DI PAOLO
  4423. It would come in, Fiori, he would come into Nick's on a Friday night, this is in the eighties, when comedy was booming. Nowhere was it booming more than Boston. Nick's was- It could hold three hundred and fifty people, I'd say. And they would do four, five shows a night. Packed. Every one of them. Line around the block. You'd think Elvis was in town. And- and Gateman would come in, at like fucking the last show... This is the guy who, you know, has a mansion and a haunt, [CREDICO: Yes.] he would come in, sit there, he's got a raincoat on, rain's dripping, and _count the heads_. He'd watch them go in.
  4424.  
  4425. CREDICO
  4426. Jackie Gateman.
  4427.  
  4428. DI PAOLO
  4429. Do you know how old- how insecure you have to be in your sixties, and your zillionaire, and you're counting the fucking heads. And then Sweeney, him and Sweeney [this must be Steve Sweeney, previously mentioned] get into it one night. One of them won. Because Sweeney owed him money, oh my god. It fucking- I'm a young comic, I'm sitting there- Nobody else was around, like, I'm getting all fucking redfaced- What a- What a joint, huh? Nick's?
  4430.  
  4431. CREDICO
  4432. Oh...we used to call it Nix - do not work there, N I X. [Di Paolo laughs] And there was a place next door called Joker's, that uuuuuuh-
  4433.  
  4434. DI PAOLO
  4435. Joker's? No.
  4436.  
  4437. CREDICO
  4438. There was a place across the street.
  4439.  
  4440. DI PAOLO
  4441. No there wasn't.
  4442.  
  4443. CREDICO
  4444. Alright. And there was the...
  4445.  
  4446. DI PAOLO
  4447. There wasn't. There was Comedy Connection, down in the strip.
  4448.  
  4449. CREDICO
  4450. Comedy Connection. Michael Clark is still-
  4451.  
  4452. DI PAOLO
  4453. Let's talk about you and the "Tonight Show" and- and- and why you did a Jeanne Kirkpatrick impression they told you not to do. Or was it Johnny Carson that got you kicked off?
  4454.  
  4455. CREDICO
  4456. I did Johnny Carson...
  4457.  
  4458. DI PAOLO
  4459. What's your question?
  4460.  
  4461. CREDICO
  4462. ...in 1984.
  4463.  
  4464. DI PAOLO
  4465. I know.
  4466.  
  4467. CREDICO
  4468. [does Carson] I did the Johnny Carson show in 1984.
  4469.  
  4470. DI PAOLO
  4471. And they told you not to-
  4472.  
  4473. CREDICO
  4474. No. Actually, McCullough said, "Do it." McCullough, Jim McCullough, may he rest in peace, he caught me at Catch A Rising Star in 1984, early-
  4475.  
  4476. DI PAOLO
  4477. In New York?
  4478.  
  4479. CREDICO
  4480. January or February-
  4481.  
  4482. DI PAOLO
  4483. [said like this: answer a simple question, you fucking...] In New York?
  4484.  
  4485. CREDICO
  4486. Then in February, he came in to see forty comedians, including your good friend Chance Langton [said in a way that implies they're the opposite of good friends]. Right? So, I was the last-
  4487.  
  4488. DI PAOLO
  4489. In New York City, though-
  4490.  
  4491. CREDICO
  4492. Yes! I was the last one to audition.
  4493.  
  4494. DI PAOLO
  4495. Yep.
  4496.  
  4497. CREDICO
  4498. For him. Out of forty. I was the last one. I was the only one he came up with, "You're the only one talking about this election." That was the '84 election. [does Reagan] "With Reagan. Yes, I would say this: you take a look at this country, and uh, well, as Sam Adams said this, and you go off on these tangents, about well, Sam Adams was a great man, when he said in 177- 1805, when he was at the Gettysburg- and uh- he came up and he said, 'Give me liberty or give me uh uh a cock. Whatever it was, I went on," [this bit gets the silence of an abandonned school during a war] and I did this routine, and they all loved it, and then I made some kind of remark, about...and Carson was like, you could see him rolling. And then I later heard that Fred De Cordova, who was the producer, said at that point, this guy is coming right- He did one of these things, he's coming right back on. He said it to McCullough. And then I drifted into...[DI PAOLO laughs]
  4499.  
  4500. DI PAOLO
  4501. _You_ drifted off?
  4502.  
  4503. CREDICO
  4504. A suicide. I decided to take- I don't like success. So, I- I went into a suicide mode. Alright? Like I'm doing right now.
  4505.  
  4506. DI PAOLO
  4507. Which comedians do?
  4508.  
  4509. CREDICO
  4510. It's like, I'm always on a suicide...It's like a short fucking life, you're here and you're gone. And you get sixty years, some of them twenty months, and you're fucking gone, and you do-
  4511.  
  4512. DI PAOLO
  4513. Sixty spins around the moon.
  4514.  
  4515. CREDICO
  4516. "Sixty Spins Around the Sun", by Laura Kightlinger. She gets so pissed off at me, Laura Kightlinger-
  4517.  
  4518. DI PAOLO
  4519. Go ahead. Now back to the "Tonight Show".
  4520.  
  4521. CREDICO
  4522. -when I say- well, it's there. The whole "Tonight Show" saga, is encapsulated in the documentary-
  4523.  
  4524. DI PAOLO
  4525. Why didn't you get invited back, is what I'm asking you. The impression of Carson-
  4526.  
  4527. CREDICO
  4528. I did an impression of Carson and they didn't like that.
  4529.  
  4530. DI PAOLO
  4531. You only did the show once.
  4532.  
  4533. CREDICO
  4534. I did the show once.
  4535.  
  4536. DI PAOLO
  4537. And you referenced Jeanne Kirkpatrick.
  4538.  
  4539. CREDICO
  4540. I said about Jeanne Kirkpatrick, "Look at her-", I said "You look at her, and analyze what she says, ask yourselves seriously, 'Did Eva Braun die in that bunker in 1945?'" That was the first thing, then I did a- I couldn't come up with a good routine on Walter Mondale. He was so dull. Couldn't make it any- I couldn't make it funny, so I did something and I did this. I said, "Walter Mondale is the Tommy Newsome of the political-"
  4541.  
  4542. DI PAOLO
  4543. He was the trumpet player.
  4544.  
  4545. CREDICO
  4546. Right. So, Carson like, with one of these [makes gesture], and when it was over, I went to shake his hand, and he gave me one of those Trump handshakes, where he barely touches you with gloves. [DI PAOLO: Aw naaaaah...] Okay? You know how Trump does not like to touch people, alright?
  4547.  
  4548. DI PAOLO
  4549. I don't know that, how would I know that?
  4550.  
  4551. CREDICO
  4552. I know that, because he came to-
  4553.  
  4554. DI PAOLO
  4555. I slept with Melania once.
  4556.  
  4557. CREDICO
  4558. -Catch A Rising Star three times, when I was fucking Marla Maple- I never fucked Marla Maples, but he came-
  4559.  
  4560. DI PAOLO
  4561. Most attractive woman I've ever seen in person.
  4562.  
  4563. CREDICO
  4564. She's beautiful.
  4565.  
  4566. DI PAOLO
  4567. Marla Maples.
  4568.  
  4569. CREDICO
  4570. He actually was sitting in the audience, at Catch A Rising Star, with Marla Maples.
  4571.  
  4572. DI PAOLO
  4573. Who was?
  4574.  
  4575. CREDICO
  4576. Trump! In '92. '91. He came in-
  4577.  
  4578. DI PAOLO
  4579. I was hanging out there in '92-
  4580.  
  4581. CREDICO
  4582. Yes! Don't you remember when he was sitting in the corner? You walk in, and it was him-
  4583.  
  4584. DI PAOLO
  4585. No.
  4586.  
  4587. CREDICO
  4588. -with her, because he was close friends with Richard Fields.
  4589.  
  4590. DI PAOLO
  4591. I didn't know that. He was never there when I-
  4592.  
  4593. CREDICO
  4594. Fields was his press agent.
  4595.  
  4596. DI PAOLO
  4597. I came off stage one night-
  4598.  
  4599. CREDICO
  4600. Fields was his press agent. Remember Richard Fields?
  4601.  
  4602. DI PAOLO
  4603. I do remember. But I don't remember Trump ever being there.
  4604.  
  4605. CREDICO
  4606. Well, he brought Trump in. And he made a fortune because he was close friends to Eliot Spitzer, Eliot Spitzer flew around on his plane. They made a ton of fucking money, Richard Fields, with some Indian thing, in Florida. Made $600 million dollars.
  4607.  
  4608. DI PAOLO
  4609. The Hard Rock Cafe?
  4610.  
  4611. CREDICO
  4612. Some Indian gaming thing.
  4613.  
  4614. DI PAOLO
  4615. Yes! It's probably what is the Hard Rock Cafe today. In- in- in Florida.
  4616.  
  4617. CREDICO
  4618. Yeah, that was-
  4619.  
  4620. DI PAOLO
  4621. It's on the Seminole Reservation.
  4622.  
  4623. CREDICO
  4624. That would be Richard Fields. He made $600 million dollars. Alright?
  4625.  
  4626. DI PAOLO
  4627. How do they do that? How do they [inaudible]
  4628.  
  4629. CREDICO
  4630. You know who told me about that? Roger Stone. Roger Stone told me about that.
  4631.  
  4632. DI PAOLO
  4633. Roger knows everything.
  4634.  
  4635. CREDICO
  4636. How did you get this stuff Everclear? [DI PAOLO's balloon hissing laugh] [does Ted Kennedy] And I can recall-l-l-l-l...Ted Kennedy said, about Everclear...[drops Kennedy] No one knows what the fuck I'm talking about right now, but-
  4637.  
  4638. DI PAOLO
  4639. You know [inaudible] late eighties-
  4640.  
  4641. CREDICO
  4642. [inaudible] Are you drinking? Cuz I don't drink.
  4643.  
  4644. DI PAOLO
  4645. I'm having Diet Cokes.
  4646.  
  4647. CREDICO
  4648. I've been sober now for seven years. [he's fallen off the wagon during those years, and he sounds drunk on this night]
  4649.  
  4650. DI PAOLO
  4651. Seven years? And minus seven minutes.
  4652.  
  4653. CREDICO
  4654. People are going to believe that, folks. I haven't touched anything.
  4655.  
  4656. DI PAOLO
  4657. He hasn't.
  4658.  
  4659. CREDICO
  4660. I've not touched anything.
  4661.  
  4662. DI PAOLO
  4663. Diet coke and coffee.
  4664.  
  4665. CREDICO
  4666. A gallon of fucking ethyl here. Remember we used to call it regular and ethyl? [DI PAOLO: Yes.] They don't use ethyl anymore. That's ethyl [possible reference to what they're drinking].
  4667.  
  4668. DI PAOLO
  4669. I pulled into a Sunoco station, I asked for ethyl the other day.
  4670.  
  4671. CREDICO
  4672. Yes. That should be two dollars eighty cents a gallon [possible reference to what they're drinking]. You're the only part of me that I can smell.
  4673.  
  4674. DI PAOLO
  4675. The hi test. My old man used to call them.
  4676.  
  4677. CREDICO
  4678. The hi test yes.
  4679.  
  4680. DI PAOLO
  4681. So, they didn't invite you back, because you- They said don't do a Carson impression-
  4682.  
  4683. CREDICO
  4684. I realized I just got a nice text message from Julian Assange.
  4685.  
  4686. DI PAOLO
  4687. No you didn't.
  4688.  
  4689. CREDICO
  4690. I did.
  4691.  
  4692. DI PAOLO
  4693. Read it on the air please, so I can get [inaudible] nude. Aw, don't be a bitch.
  4694.  
  4695. CREDICO
  4696. No, he does, he does. He listens to this show. I can't, because it's on Signal.
  4697.  
  4698. DI PAOLO
  4699. What does that mean?
  4700.  
  4701. CREDICO
  4702. That means I do it encryptically with him.
  4703.  
  4704. FIORI
  4705. Can't you read it?
  4706.  
  4707. CREDICO
  4708. He says: "Is it true that Nick DiPaolo has a half inch-" No, I'm kidding. Here.
  4709.  
  4710. DI PAOLO
  4711. "Half inch wide..." [pause] But four and a half inches long.
  4712.  
  4713. CREDICO
  4714. There it is. Reggie. Uh oh. [possible reference to Reggie Johnson, WBAI engineer]
  4715.  
  4716. DI PAOLO
  4717. We're getting his code. [pause] It's Frenchie. Somebody google- I'll be talking with Assange tonight on the way home in my car. [hissing balloon laugh]
  4718.  
  4719. CREDICO
  4720. There it is. [pause] We are very close friends.
  4721.  
  4722. DI PAOLO
  4723. Why-
  4724.  
  4725. CREDICO
  4726. How many people- How many people-
  4727.  
  4728. DI PAOLO
  4729. I don't understand- Who connected you to him? Why would he know your radio show? I don't understand.
  4730.  
  4731. CREDICO
  4732. I did a twelve part series called "Assange: Countdown to Freedom", and I ended up- [DI PAOLO: Ooooooh. Alright.] He actually helped me with the guests and the music. He gave me ideas for-
  4733.  
  4734. DI PAOLO
  4735. But he knew you at that point. Just from your show.
  4736.  
  4737. CREDICO
  4738. He did my show, one time in August-
  4739.  
  4740. DI PAOLO
  4741. WHY WOULD HE DO YOUR SHOW?
  4742.  
  4743. CREDICO
  4744. August 26th-
  4745.  
  4746. DI PAOLO
  4747. Stone got him on.
  4748.  
  4749. CREDICO
  4750. No no no, and then I tried to get him back on my show for seven months-
  4751.  
  4752. DI PAOLO
  4753. Randy, why would he do your radio show?
  4754.  
  4755. CREDICO
  4756. Because he knows- he knews- [sic] he knew that I supported him. And he did my radio show, because he could trust me. A lot of people out there-
  4757.  
  4758. DI PAOLO
  4759. I support Steve Bannon, he better do my show.
  4760.  
  4761. CREDICO
  4762. But he doesn't like you because he is a, as whatsisname said- said, that guy King [Peter King], says he looks like a disheveled drunk.
  4763.  
  4764. DI PAOLO
  4765. Who does?
  4766.  
  4767. CREDICO
  4768. That guy Peter King said that.
  4769.  
  4770. DI PAOLO
  4771. I know. Peter King's an asshole.
  4772.  
  4773. CREDICO
  4774. He [inaudible] is a great mask. Would you like that mask? [inaudible] for Halloween? A mask like that? Huh? That's the greatest- Peter King-
  4775.  
  4776. DI PAOLO
  4777. I hate New York so-called Republican right wingers from New York. Any other state, they'd be far left.
  4778.  
  4779. CREDICO
  4780. Have you ever seen a mask like Peter King's?
  4781.  
  4782. DI PAOLO
  4783. No.
  4784.  
  4785. CREDICO
  4786. That is some mask.
  4787.  
  4788. DI PAOLO
  4789. That is some mask.
  4790.  
  4791. CREDICO
  4792. I'd like to get that for Halloween.
  4793.  
  4794. DI PAOLO
  4795. Steve Bannon is a patriot.
  4796.  
  4797. CREDICO
  4798. Do you think so?
  4799.  
  4800. DI PAOLO
  4801. I love him.
  4802.  
  4803. CREDICO
  4804. Well, I knew that.
  4805.  
  4806. DI PAOLO
  4807. Well- Are you a globalist? Is it inevitable? Am I wasting my time with Steve Bannon?
  4808.  
  4809. CREDICO
  4810. I'm a- I'm a-
  4811.  
  4812. DI PAOLO
  4813. Are you a globalist?
  4814.  
  4815. CREDICO
  4816. I am a-
  4817.  
  4818. DI PAOLO
  4819. You're not.
  4820.  
  4821. CREDICO
  4822. I do not support-
  4823.  
  4824. DI PAOLO
  4825. You believe in the Constitution of this country, so you're not a globalist.
  4826.  
  4827. CREDICO
  4828. I do not support wars overseas.
  4829.  
  4830. DI PAOLO
  4831. Oh my god, back to the fucking- We gotta do what we gotta do.
  4832.  
  4833. CREDICO
  4834. Well, he's against war, isn't he?
  4835.  
  4836. DI PAOLO
  4837. Who, Bannon? Steve Bannon? Yeah.
  4838.  
  4839. CREDICO
  4840. I'm against invading...Russia. I'm against what's going on in-
  4841.  
  4842. DI PAOLO
  4843. Are we invading Russia?
  4844.  
  4845. CREDICO
  4846. -Syria, what's going on in Libya, I oppose all those Obama policies.
  4847.  
  4848. DI PAOLO
  4849. Are you an isolationist, Randy?
  4850.  
  4851. CREDICO
  4852. You support a Hillary Clinton-
  4853.  
  4854. DI PAOLO
  4855. Are you an isolationist?
  4856.  
  4857. CREDICO
  4858. Do you support Hillary-
  4859.  
  4860. DI PAOLO
  4861. Are you a Ron Paul military guy?
  4862.  
  4863. CREDICO
  4864. Yes.
  4865.  
  4866. DI PAOLO
  4867. So you're an isolationist.
  4868.  
  4869. CREDICO
  4870. I'm actually a Ron Paul, not a Rand Paul. Ron Paul.
  4871.  
  4872. DI PAOLO
  4873. On affairs of military.
  4874.  
  4875. CREDICO
  4876. I'm totally in lockstep with Ron Paul.
  4877.  
  4878. DI PAOLO
  4879. As far as the military goes.
  4880.  
  4881. CREDICO
  4882. As long as war goes. I'm with Ron Paul. What...you don't like Ron Paul?
  4883.  
  4884. DI PAOLO
  4885. I do like Ron Paul. I say this: bring everybody home-
  4886.  
  4887. CREDICO
  4888. You have any kids? [DI PAOLO: I do.] Do you have any kids?
  4889.  
  4890. DI PAOLO
  4891. I have...no, no. Not with Andi. I have a couple...
  4892.  
  4893. CREDICO
  4894. Yeah, from-
  4895.  
  4896. DI PAOLO
  4897. I had a club in Detroit a few years ago. I had Aisha, and Daisha, and Tyrone. They were all forty one years old.
  4898.  
  4899. CREDICO
  4900. Who used to work the front desk at Mick's?
  4901.  
  4902. DI PAOLO
  4903. The girl that worked the front desk at Mick's?
  4904.  
  4905. CREDICO
  4906. That you were fucking around with. You know about...Andi-
  4907.  
  4908. DI PAOLO
  4909. Holy shit, you're right!
  4910.  
  4911. CREDICO
  4912. I'm joking, yes.
  4913.  
  4914. DI PAOLO
  4915. That girl named Shannon, how the fuck would you know that? You're creepy.
  4916.  
  4917. CREDICO
  4918. Shannon was gorgeous.
  4919.  
  4920. DI PAOLO
  4921. How can you bring up broads that I forgot about?
  4922.  
  4923. CREDICO
  4924. I have a good memory for back then. But not recent. When I go before the committee, I forgot everything.
  4925.  
  4926. DI PAOLO
  4927. Uuuuuuuh- What did I- What did I- What did I just ask you? What did I just ask you?
  4928.  
  4929. CREDICO
  4930. [does Pentangeli] I don't remember. [out of Pentangeli] You were talking about you and Shannon. She was a blonde woman.
  4931.  
  4932. DI PAOLO
  4933. No no no. I just asked you a serious question. Oh, Ron Paul. So, you're an isolationist.
  4934.  
  4935. CREDICO
  4936. I like _Ron_ Paul.
  4937.  
  4938. DI PAOLO
  4939. You don't believe in-
  4940.  
  4941. CREDICO
  4942. [does Ron Paul] It's really crazy, that they're going after him, it's really uh- [DI PAOLO: That's a good Ron Paul!] Why are they going after Julian Assange? A friend of ours. And we know that he didn't do anything-
  4943.  
  4944. DI PAOLO
  4945. That's dead on.
  4946.  
  4947. CREDICO
  4948. [does Ron Paul] Here he is, calling the show.
  4949.  
  4950. DI PAOLO
  4951. Randy.
  4952.  
  4953. CREDICO
  4954. [does Ron Paul] And we- we're against it. Actually against this. Against this kind of- Thing that's going-
  4955.  
  4956. DI PAOLO
  4957. That's dead on!
  4958.  
  4959. CREDICO
  4960. [does Ron Paul] My son should be as good as I am on this, and Julian Assange is a friend of mine. He'd be a good friend of ours.
  4961.  
  4962. DI PAOLO
  4963. I say bring everybody home. This is what I say: make an announcement to the rest of the world. Because we're the only superpower left. Our military will crush anybody. We're going to bring everybody home, just like the world wants us out-
  4964.  
  4965. CREDICO
  4966. [does a a vague, barely recognizable impression of Trump] This is a great country. We're going to do our best. America's great. I love- I love Nick DiPaolo. People are talking about Nick DiPaolo. Nick DiPaolo's a great guy, he's a wonderful guy.
  4967.  
  4968. [plays clip of "Scarface" - "'Nick the Pig' as a friend!"]
  4969.  
  4970. CREDICO
  4971. Oh my god. Is that- We got one segment-
  4972.  
  4973. DI PAOLO
  4974. One minute.
  4975.  
  4976. CREDICO
  4977. So, we've got just one more segment-
  4978.  
  4979. DI PAOLO
  4980. One minute. NO! This is it. I gotta say good night. Randy. Look, I pitched you already to this company.
  4981.  
  4982. CREDICO
  4983. They should have me here. I'm willing to come here, and-
  4984.  
  4985. DI PAOLO
  4986. You and I, we're opposed politically-
  4987.  
  4988. CREDICO
  4989. -actually get a big crowd for this place.
  4990.  
  4991. DI PAOLO
  4992. I know you would.
  4993.  
  4994. CREDICO
  4995. I can get an international crowd.
  4996.  
  4997. DI PAOLO
  4998. I know! You're an international name! I'm reading about you in People magazine! That went out of fucking circuit twenty years ago. Listen: thank you for coming in here.
  4999.  
  5000. CREDICO
  5001. You do a great job, by the way.
  5002.  
  5003. DI PAOLO
  5004. I can tell. I can tell by my money I do a great job. We're losing _her_ [most likely this is PALUMBO].
  5005.  
  5006. CREDICO
  5007. You're to the right of fucken-
  5008.  
  5009. DI PAOLO
  5010. Mussolini.
  5011.  
  5012. CREDICO
  5013. Atilla wasn't against social security. Do you think Atilla the Hun was against social security? How far to the right was he?
  5014.  
  5015. DI PAOLO
  5016. I gotta go. [laughs]
  5017.  
  5018. CREDICO
  5019. Alright.
  5020.  
  5021. DI PAOLO
  5022. Come see me January 26th, 27th, at Comedyworks Saratoga Springs-
  5023.  
  5024. CREDICO
  5025. Can I be your opening act?
  5026.  
  5027. DI PAOLO
  5028. February 23rd, 24th, Governors of Long Island. March 3rd on Benny's Point Pleasant. Thank you to the great Randy Credico. We will have him back, he was fucking...amazing. He's the way I remember him. You kids take care of yourselves, we'll talk to you tomorrow night.
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