TONY BALONEY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD_NQ8-82KQ&feature=related

I know a cop named Tony Baloney.
He's got a spine like overcooked rigatoni.
As far as New York cops go, he's not so unique:
Courageously confronting the small and weak.
Home of brave?  Land of free?
Not with thugs like him in NYPD.
Just a blot on the butt of humanity.

He dreams of chasing real criminals, but he can't--he's
Afraid he'll wet his size 9 lacy pink panties.
They sent him out to find a kidnapped baby one night,
But he was afraid it might have teeth, and bite.
Home of brave?  Land of free?
Not with thugs like him in NYPD.
Just a blot on the butt of humanity.

The lesson of this isn't tough to get across:
Time to rise up, folks, and show the cops who's boss.
Chickens like Baloney Boy don't know what to do
When confronting real men (and kids and women, too).
Home of brave?  Land of free?
Not with thugs like him in NYPD.
Just a blot on the butt of humanity.