EOW4 cutscenes, 1st draft

[everyone walks onscreen and are stopped when @sbestos drops into the scene and lands in front of them]

@sbestos:
Hi there, kiddos!  I, uh, I can't help but notice you're all still at it!
So, I was wonderin' if ya could maybe... turn around an' go back home?  If it's not too much trouble, I mean.

[the group exchanges glances, then start walking again; @sbestos panics and runs ahead to block them]

@sbestos:
W-wait just a gosh darn minute!  That's... that's not the way back home, ya rascals!

[The crew moves forward again only for @sbestos to get in their way once more]

Kood:
(Is he just going to keep doing that?)

Iris:
(Keep ignoring him, he should leave us alone eventually.)

[The crew tries to move forward again a couple times, only for @sbestos to keep getting in their way]

@sbestos:
Hey, now!  You're bein' right frosty rude, don'cha know!

Iris:
Ugh, we don't have time for this, Uncle @!

@sbestos:
Well, I just thought... ya know, this here volcano is really dangerous, eh?  Kinda hot, what with all that fire an' lava an' stuff!
Maybe instead of all o' you fellas going that-a-way, we could have a nice little hootenanny... right here?
[@sbestos smizes]

Iris:
We'd rather take our chances with the magma, thanks.

[@sbestos looks dejected as the crew walk past him, then he rushes forward again.]

@sbestos:
R-really, though!  Goin' through that dastardly place all fer a silly ol' Super Leek?  Is it really worth it?

Iris:
...How did you know we were after the Super Leeks?  Broadsword put you up to this, didn't he?

Demo:
Oh, come on, not this again!

@sbestos:
Oh, uh, I-I... well, th-that's a right dandy question there, fer sure!  W-why don't we talk aboot it somewhere far away from here?

Iris:
Well, at least we know for a fact the leek's here now.  Come on, everyone!

[the crew runs past @sbestos again as the camera pans forward; soon after @sbestos disappears off the left side of the screen he yet again appears in front of them, causing Iris to do a double-take.]

@sbestos:
Maybe you'd like to see a magic trick?

[Sheath and Raocow get excited, Iris looks at them for a split second before responding]

Iris:
No.

[Sad faces all around]

Kood:
Gotta say, I kinda admire his persistence...

Iris:
Of course _you_ would.

Kood:
What's that supposed to mean!?

@sbestos:
O-okay, I tried to be nice, but if... I'm... if you kids d-don't turn around an' head back now... I'mma get real gruzzled, don'cha know.  L-Like, seriously gruzzled!  All the gruzzle!

Iris:
Okay, then.  Let's see it.

@sbestos:
A-alrighty then!
[@sbestos inflates himself]
...I-I bet'cha feelin' really scared now, h-huh?

Demo:
Um, sorry, Uncle @.  We're not two years old anymore.
[@sbestos slowly, sadly deflates]

Iris:
So are we done here?  We've got a leek to grab.
[the crew walks offscreen as @sbestos stands there dejected for a bit, then chases after them]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

@sbestos:
T-that's far enough!  I really didn't want to do this, b-but you left me no choice!
I've been savin' a summoning contract with the Flesh Lord just in case I ever had to defend myself against some no-good hooligans, but it looks like I'll hafta use it on you kids!
In just a moment a big, super-duper-strong fella is gonna show up and, and... knock you all down!

Iris:
Well, credit where it's due, I didn't think you had the guts to go this far.

@sbestos:
Just you wait!  He's gonna show up and be all tough and scary and everything!

[a couple seconds pass]

@sbestos:
...any minute now...

[Insert appropriate Spongebob timecard (http://imgur.com/gallery/4ybk7) here]

Demo:
...You did opt for the express delivery, didn't you?

@sbestos:
And pay the extra $3?  These things are spendy enough already!
J-just wait a bit longer, he'll definitely be here!

Raocow:
Maybe he got stuck in traffic or something?

@sbestos:
No, you don't understand!  Tons o' research went into this deal!  I shopped around to get the highest-rated dark lord... I compared prices, checked user reviews, I read each and every EULA-

Kood:
No you didn't.

@sbestos:
I most certainly did!  Gotta catch all o' those pesky loopholes, don'cha know!
And when I settled on this one I made sure to complete each form in triplicate!  I even sacrificed an extra furba to make sure I had enough postage!

Iris:
Well, I don't know what possessed me to humor you for this long, but I'm done wasting time.

@sbestos:
N-no no no no no!  I can't let you all go on!
I-I'm gonna stop you kiddos no matter what, by golly, e-even if I have to fight you myself!  Then Augustus and the others will finally recognize me as part of the family!

------------------------------------------------------------------

@sbestos:
Ooogh... that's it, my chances of fittin' in just went kaput...

Iris:
Well, we got what we came for.  Let's go.

[Kood looks at @sbestos]

Kood:
You know, guys, I kinda feel sorry for @sbestos...
I mean, he's not really a bad guy, he's just under-appreciated.  He just wanted to be acknowledged and get along with everyone.

[The rest of the crew leaves while Kood closes his eyes and keeps monologuing]

Kood:
If we'd met at a different time and place, under different circumstances, maybe that's what would've happened.
I'm sure we'd find he and I have a lot in common.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say I feel we might even share a certain... spiritual connection?  Like we may be kindred spirits or something, I don't know.
Heh... that probably sounded weird, didn't it?

[a second passes]

Kood:
...Guys?

[Kood finally notices he's been left behind and rushes off the scene.  A moment later a large, muscular monstrosity teleports in]

Flesh Brute:
Ah, jeez, sorry I'm late, everyone!  The intra-dimensional bypasses were backed up all the way through Realm I-37 so I had to take a detour through the Plane of Extraordinarily Dull Forum Games and-

[The summoned creature notices he's alone aside from the deflated @sbestos]

Flesh Brute:
Well this is gonna be a fun one to explain at the temp agency...