Cloud. I took some time to reflect on how I viewed things, especially since I was getting ignored by you. You know, honestly I wouldn't even go to the hassle of writing this if I didn't care but I guess I do care since after all, even when I woke up at 7AM to prepare for my classes, the first thing I did was pull up my phone to check my steam. I talked to myself and figured out how I feel about apologizing to you. And I guess I figured out something. I shouldn't try to apologize, especially if that friend of mine is going to ignore me. No message of like, "Hey. I'm pissed about this, can we talk tomorrow to settle things?" Or even a "Hey. Can we talk tomorrow." You just kept me off to the side and didn't even respond or message me when I was trying to show you I cared but honestly. I realized that I didn't care. Because I realized you accused me of something, even when I told you I didn't and even offered to give you some advice so other people didn't see it as such. You accused me of mixing IC with OOC.
Pontiff Panda: I'm not angry about all that. IC is IC. I'm just sorta hurt because if it is true, you told people and told them to keep secret about it, and then,  you continued to do the stuff.
Pontiff Panda: Yeah. That's why I've been sorta trying to avoid you a bit. And I've been stingy on an OOC basis(I promise you. The stuff about the avatar still stands, I got some tips for that if you wish) but the point is.
I told you specifically and I kept telling you that it wasn't influencing my IC actions. And more importantly, I even explained to you what the problem OOCLY was because of the certain OOC problem that happened. Cloud, ever since I've known you for these past two of three months, you know how I operate. I know how you operate. And one thing that I find insulting to myself is such:
☁️ Cloud: I'm disappointed, what I mean doesn't matter. You've just confirmed that you've been avoiding me, which hurts. A LOT. Now we've averted to insulting how I roleplay my characters, 'An Avatar' really dude?
I did call your character an avatar yes. But you also forget.
Pontiff Panda: I'll be honest.
Pontiff Panda: The stuff right now has been because of IC stuff that jut made me think your character was an avatar but now I understand.
Pontiff Panda: Your character is getting IC preferences from 768 which is resulting in the behavior so that's not a problem.
I immediately went and defended you and said how it was okay. And that I was wrong in thinking so. But then, I get this. I get told by you that I'm 'insulting' your characters when I even tried to break away from it because I thought that I was being a dumbass because whenever I'd bring up something, you'd drop something about your character OOCLY that I didn't know about so I kept looking like a dumbass and further and further wrong with the new information brought to me. Secondly,
☁️ Cloud: You're angry at me for not writing /me pants, which I apologized for. I don't know what to say to you anymore, dude, honestly.
You didn't apologize.
Pontiff Panda: You can still hear panting.
☁️ Cloud: you punched her helmet
☁️ Cloud: the most solid thing on her face
Pontiff Panda: And you can still see shaking.
☁️ Cloud: yes
☁️ Cloud: heavy exhales and grunts
Pontiff Panda: You never did a /me of that in there
☁️ Cloud: alright
☁️ Cloud: for future reference
☁️ Cloud: take it up with me
☁️ Cloud: don't gossip
In fact, you started firing shots off at me and telling me not to gossip. Isn't that the exact same thing you did by telling other people about the 'situation' when you were in a bad place and told them not to talk about things? Because if so, that's a hypocritical statement of you to make right there but I digress on that point. I'm not here to create further argument.
Cloud. I bring these up to you to point out something. I'm not apologizing to you. You admitting to letting Out of Character influence your In-Character actions which has resulted in the whole fiasco occuring, and when you told me to BE BLUNT, like you instructed, I did as you said so we could talk about this...
☁️ Cloud: You don't look like an idiot, Panda, it's between me and you.
And after being blunt. The situation before us has happened. Cloud. I'm not apologizing. The only thing I will apologize about is writing this letter and bringing you future pain and torment, especially with our friendship. And if you can point out anything else, with strong evidence about it, then I will also apologize about that. It's sad honestly, I rather enjoy getting the random messages each day about How I am in college and how your sister is a journalism major. This essay isn't meant to hurt you and get you even further angry. It's just to further enforce my thinking in this next part I'm going to say. I'm not apologizing, in fact, I expect an apology from you. If you scoff at this and hate me further, then I'll understand. But just know that I need to be honest with myself and you. That's what friends do, even if it means that it might piss off the other friend. But at least in the end, if it works out, the friendship gets better.