The Book of Elohim

Title: The Fresh Prince of the Universe
Description: Elohim creates Earth and filled it with humans but was disappointed so he made The Talos Principle.
Disclaimer: I have no idea what The Talos Principle is about, nor have I watched or read anything about it.
Author: PikaCommando


	Once upon a time, a spirit child, Elohim, was conceived. He was born into a family of mighty gods, on a planet of mighty gods, in an era of mighty gods. These mighty gods were the dominant species of the distant planet 'Pechina'; a hot, sandy, desert planet. As a youngster, Elohim always hated what the other gods did; fighting dumb scorpionmen in massive battles over deserts, temples and desert temples. He never considered himself as a vile mental dude who goes around destroying things, but rather a genius, a sophisticated person, a philosopher.

	Many years later, when Elohim was a fully-grown god, he was to follow the rite of passage for proper godhood; the task of creating and populating a planet. Thus he traveled to the Milky Way galaxy and formed a lush green planet with deep blue seas. He named the planet 'Earth' and filled it with intelligent spawns known as humans. At first he was mad that Adam and Eve, the first humans, ate the forbidden fruit and gained wisdom but he grew to like them over time as he realized that it also made them capable of thinking for themselves, as well as having their own opinions. This allowed for sophistication and philosophy to exist on Earth, exactly as he planned.

	However, all was not well. Centuries and centuries passed, even though technology and civilization improved, humanity still had one thing in common; the bloodthirsty need to battle. From dooming their enemies as religious infidels to making them quake in fear of war to nuking 'em all, humanity has always been a prey to themselves. No matter how many times blood was spilled, humanity is always violent in the flesh. It's like an evil shadow was turning potential scholars into disposable warriors. Elohim was not pleased with the outcome. He abandoned humanity after sending his last prophet in Arab and watched humanity from afar since then, yet secretly wishing for the end of humanity.

	Unexpectedly, his wish did came true one day. Humanity found themselves being attacked by intergalactic monsters. The very same humans that thrived for millenniums were pushed to the brink of extinction and soon the Earth was destroyed in the most moon-crushing way possible. This is the end for humanity, and the arrival of the new beginning. Elohim was unable to wipe them out himself due to laws and promises back then, but now they were gone without requiring him to lift a finger. This is it. He is free to restart his dreams now; his dream of creating a world of high intelligence.

	Thus he created The Talos Principle; a rule of life that requires all to only be able to think rationally and thoroughly with intelligence; thus freeing the world from violence. But in order to avoid the same mistake he did the last time with mankind, he tested this new rule by first making a virtual simulation to see how well it would run. Elohim made a robot that must solve puzzles to prove his worth of being in the new world Elohim envisioned or risk being destroyed by the remnants of human technology.

	Since robots cannot possibly be sentient as if they were controlled by a player in one of those human video games, Elohim thought to himself that his plan was perfect and completely incapable of ever going wrong. He realized that man, no matter how serious, can never be sophisticated. If the test is successful, Elohim might even consider wiping out the current universe and replacing all life with robots that are as smart as him, so he will finally have equals to talk to and discuss philosophy with.

	After 7 or 8 reboots, the robot was activated. The robot could not talk, yet it tried to smell later. It looked around the ruined kingdoms of mankind, searching for clues and puzzles to solve. Elohim's plan is finally here. Now, at long last, will he finally settle his throne as the Prince of Bel-Air.