mosh apology

To whom it my concern,

	In lieu of recent events and outbursts from myself for pretty much no reason, I have decided to seek psychiatric help.
As some of you may or may not know I suffer from severe depression and anxiety. I want to apologize for my recent actions as of late.
This is not how I wanted to act, I've been taking medication for some time now.

	I started at 10mg of anti-depressent when I was 12, I am now almost 24 years old and taking up to 120mg a day with no actual effect on my mood, within the past week I have run out of said medication.
Some of you know I have recently moved, which leaves me without a doctor where I am currently living. I do not wish to act like, for lack of a better term, a "pretenious douche bag."
I have also suffered through a servely trumatic childhood, which really isn't an excuse but it eats at me every day living were I am, as it is where most of my childhood took place.

	I often stand around and stare absentmindedly at nothing in particular, this is more from fighting with my own self, than anything else.
When you become that fixated with surviving yourself, it becomes a physical struggle to even move. I go to bed hoping, and sometimes even praying that I wake up anywhere but here.
I've literally become repulsed by what I've seen myself become, and I want anywhere that doesn't remind me of myself.
I'm hoping that when I've finished finding myself, I can come to terms with it, and finally be able to move on with my life, instead of having to fight with myself in a struggle of trying to keep myself from hurting myself.


Regards,
Kevin 'mosh' Glendenning