LtD 78-80

>>Chapter 78 - Part 6
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> I chuckled, "Closer dude, its a secret."
> He exhaled loudly and got up in my face, "Close enough?!"
I want to blame this on Greg’s drug-addled brain, but I know it’s just the general idiocy of LtD characters.
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> I smiled, "What? I though you wanted some medical supplies? Well here, have some anesthesia."
Why would you have a tank of anesthetic gas in your hospital bedroom? What purpose could there be for doctors leaving them there?
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> His eyes widened for a few seconds, but began to slowly roll up in the back of his head.
Anesthetics must be given in very specific and measured doses, depending on several factors; that’s why anesthetist study for years and make thousands of dollars.
You could cause Greg even more brain damage by doing that gag.
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> [One down!]
What do you mean with that? Are you planning on going on a rampage and gassing all the OC’s? I’d support that.
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> I smiled and reached under my pillow and pulled out the list of names. I then marked off Greg. Now to get the rest of them.
You’re actually going to do that? Really?
And I guess I shouldn’t be surprised about that list coming out of nowhere. This is a first person narrative, after all; we’re following Lance on his everyday life, why should we see how and when Lance wrote that list?
You can’t just skip over plot points because you’re lazy, what the hell?
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> [Man, I love payback! This will show them that we aren't going to take being the test dummy and prank target!]
I think it’s a bit late to do that, Lance.
About 60 chapters too late.
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> I chuckled and put the notepad back under the pillow and yelled out, "Nurse! We got a stallion down!"
“Totally wasn’t my fault, though!”
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> I pointed to the mask, "He though that was oxygen and put it on his face."
“Of course, I didn’t correct him.”



>>Chapter 78 - Part 7
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> She frowned and shook her head, "Oh, the poor dear." She walked over and levitated him on her back.
It’s a good thing there’s free healthcare in Equestria.
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> A bright flash filled the room.
I still haven’t given up on aliens appearing at some point.
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> Annabel was standing there, a large smirk on her face, "Hiya Lance."
Right, the female draconequus. I was trying really hard to forget about her.
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> I smiled awkwardly and waved,
See? No pain on the foreleg and he’s waving, that seems to me as more strenuous than just stretching it.
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> "Hey Annabel... what brings you here?"
She did say that in exchange for, ugh, “dislodging” Twilight Lance would help her get on with Discord. Maybe she’s here for that?
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> She smirked, "I know you're going to try and get everyone back for messing with you so much."
Everyone knows about this but the reader. Why? Was it that hard to write the scene in which Lance wrote that list?
What am I talking about, of course it was.
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> I cross my forelegs, ignoring the pain
“And now he’s going to cross his arms in a cool way, yeah. This is awesome.
Oh, wait. The arms thing, I just remembered. Lance was partially eaten, wasn’t he? Damn, it totally slipped my mind. What do I do now? I don’t want to go back and change everything so it makes sense, so how can I fix it?
C’mon, think. Think… Ha! I got it!
‘ignoring the pain’.
There, now it’s consistent. I’m such a genius.”
--Kickass222urmom, probably.
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>"Well, I'm going to give you an offer."
Ok, I’m calling it right now.
An upcoming chapter will be about Lance getting Annabel’s powers and getting revenge on the other OC’s.
I look forward to Kickass222urmom squandering the potential.
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> She read over the paper, "Really? You're writing a song for Twilight?"
Oh, no…
No more songs, please. Put as many fight scenes or dumb dialogue if you want, but don’t put another copypasted song in this thing.



>>Chapter 78 - Part 8
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> "Well, I would like to take this little revenge thing off your hands... or hooves as the situation calls for."
“I know you want to get revenge on everyone because they kept messing with you. That’s you should let ‘me’ get revenge on them instead.”
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> "I want to be the one who gets them all back. I have a mega awesome prank planned out. It will be so chaotic, Discord would be proud."
Is this a way of contacting him, then? Or is that storyline going to be dropped as well?
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> I rubbed my chin, "Hmmm, I don't know. I have a lot planned out for them..."
Dumb question: Why can’t you both pull your pranks? Have Annabel go first and then you can get your revenge, or viceversa.
There’s no real reason for you two joining forces, I doubt Annabel can benefit from using you.
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> She gave me the puppy dog eyes, "Please?"
> [Why do I have a wingboner all of a sudden....]
Because you have the sexual maturity of a twelve year old.
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> I picked up the book and began to read from where I left off.
Sadly, we don’t get to read the rest of Daring Do story.
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> [I would so fuck Daring Do.] Break then began to hump the air.
“Lance had a wingboner, so Break must do something even more sexual to make Lance look better in comparison.”
It’s a pity it doesn’t work.
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> [Tie me down and tell me I've been a bad boy.]
These are truly dark times.
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> For the first time in this story, I'm going to let the readers decide on what happens.
‘Living the Dream’ is now presented in CYOA format! Out of freaking nowhere!
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> Should Lance let Annabel perform her prank, or should he do it himself like a man?
I don’t know, both options sound equally inane and pointless.
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> Before answering, I must say this: I already have a full plot planned for each of those answers. So it doesn't really matter to me which you chose.
Let’s… Let’s just get to the prank, ok?



>>Chapter 79 - Part 1
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> Title: Choices made are choices regretted
You’re talking about the choice you gave the readers last chapter? It’s ok, we all knew we would regret it regardless of the outcome.
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> To everyone wondering about the Daring Do book in the last chapter, I took that from a story I'm writing. Yes, I've been trying to write a Daring Do story XD
I just checked, he never published that story.
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> Also yes, Annabel has fingers. Well, claws and the like, but I'm going to say fingers, makes more sense.
No. No it doesn’t.
Discord has a lion paw and an eagle (?) claw, so Annabel should have the same limbs, unless you decided to change one of those and give Annabel a human hand, which wouldn’t surprise me; or she’s had one all along and nobody called attention to it, which wouldn’t surprise me either.
Either way, there’s no reason for you to say “fingers” instead of “claw” or “toe”. Hell, both are shorter than “finger”, I thought you would go for that.
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> One last thing, I haven't forgotten about Pleasant Fields,
Right, the shady and fancy high class community that contacted Lance out of the blue. I’m surprised that you’re still rolling with that and it won’t become yet another dropped storyline.
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> Lance isn't in a hurry.
And neither are you.
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> The next morning, 9:42 PM
Don’t you just love this random time jumps? Oh, sorry. “Loathe”, I meant loathe.
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> [That book was awesome!]
> <Yeah it was! I liked the final scene were she used the torch to fight off the serpent ponies.>
> [That scene was badass to the max!]
Oh, I see.
You realised that you had no way of actually getting through with it so you just dropped it. You set the bar too high for yourself, Kickass.
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> I chuckled and put the book on the edge of the bed. Now, to get the next book in the series.
As much as I’d like to read a Daring Do book, I don’t want to read how Lance reads a Daring Doo book.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 2
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> "Daring Do and the Black Gem."
Well, let’s see how this story fares. If anything it will be a nice change of pace from the dullness of the Living-verse.
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> <Again, I feel like we've missed some of the book.>
Yes, we remember when you mentioned that our last chapter, stop calling attention to it and just start with the story.
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> Two hours later
So, we don’t even get a reprieve from LtD. Great…
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> I closed the book and sat back. One of the characters, Diamond Crusher, was just killed in a avalanche of rocks. And he was the cool character!
Well, you killed Rainbow Dash and Twilight’s character on the first two chapters of this story, so I don’t think you have any grounds to complain here.
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> A loud clap of thunder echos through the room, and there stood Annabel.
I still don’t understand why Annabel wants nor needs Lance’s permission. She’s a draconequus, an almost almighty creature, what does she want from Lance? What valuable aid can he provide?
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> "So, Lance, you make up your mind yet?" She asked innocently.
> I rubbed my chin, "Well, yes, but I don't know."
So you haven’t made up your mind.
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> "How about this: You let me do this, and I heal your legs."
“It’s not as if you have a friend that knows an instant cure-it-all spell that has been shown before, right?”
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> I thought for a second, but someone, Dawn, made me answer, "Deal!"
Wasn’t Break the impulsive one?
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> I looked at them and saw them quickly regaining the torn away flesh...
I am pretty sure that having new flesh grow out of your body to fill the missing parts would be extremely painful
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> awesome!
Or maybe not.
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> "Gather all the bronies, only the ones on you're list, and bring them to the library."
Great, that way you can prank them all at once and we can move on to the next inane plot point.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 3
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> I looked at my clothes and shrugged. I pushed the goggles on my face and tossed the clothes in my saddle bags, then I put the saddlebags on. Easy enough.
Easy enough as to not be relevant.
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> Then I sighed, time to explain why I'm out of bed already.
“One of my near-omnipotent friends healed me.” There you go, situation explained.
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> Skipping ahead an hour, because I know none of you want to read a bunch of boring scenes about Lance gathering the bronies.
Ok, first of all, you could have just said “an hour later” and nobody would have batted an eyelash, since we’re all so used to that already.
And allow me to disagree, I think Lance gathering the bronies could have been interesting. After all, he has to convince those who are in the list to leave whatever they’re doing, go to the Library, and explain why some are not going.
Now, whether or not you could have made that interesting to read is a completely different argument; but based on what I’ve seen so far: No, you couldn’t.
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> I had gathered all the ones on the list: David, Peter, Greg, Seth, Zorrow, Shadow Breeze, Vinetion, and Aaron. They've all done something to me, and its time for a little pay back.
Uh… They did what, exactly? It’s been almost eighty chapters; I can’t remember all of it.
But I’m certain Shadow Breeze hasn’t done anything to you, or Aaron. Or Seth and Zorrow.
I mean, other than Greg and Vinetion, I can’t remember what any of them did to you.
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> {Why did I have to bring Shadow Breeze again? I mean, come on, he hasn't done anything to us.}
I know! I think he appeared in a couple of scenes back at the resort, and then did nothing. Why is he here as well?
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> [Yes he did! He ruined out snowboarding! Remember?! We crashed into him!]
{Yeah, but he didn't mean...}
[Shut up and let me have my revenge!]
Oh, Break’s dickery, I see.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 4
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> David looked around and looked up at me confused, "So why are we all here?"
Because the plot demands it.
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> Annabel flew up next to me and smiled, "Hello bronies! And welcome!"
I assume everyone knows about Annabel already, right? I don’t recall a point in which she was introduced to the rest.
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> Annabel chuckled, "We're going to have so much fun!"
I’ve heard that promise before. I know better than to expect something fun.
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> She smiled and snapped her fingers.
What could it be?
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> A small light emitted from me, but I felt the same.... wait a second, something feels off.
She’s affecting Lance too? Eh, I guess it was foreseeable.
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> <OH GOD! WE'RE A MARE!>
Now we can cross “genderbent” from the gimmick list.
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> "Hey! This wasn't the plan!"
> She stopped and looked confused, "Plan? I don't remember us making a plan."
Gosh! A being of pure chaos double-crossed Lance? Whou would have thought!
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> Oh God! I sound hot! WHY ME?!
Narcissism, I presume? Of course “Lancy” would be hot, what other choice could there be?
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> Peter was the first to calm down, and said in a feminine voice, "This is your prank? That's just sad."
For once, we agree, Peter. It’s almost as if they were making up random tricks to keep the story going.
Weird, huh?
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> "Oh, this isn't the full prank."
Swapping the genders of half a dozen ponies? Boooooo-ring~!
We need to spice it up!
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> She snapped her fingers, causing a bright light to flash. […] "Welcome to Manehattan bronies!"
Manehattan? The city that is one train ride from Ponyville? That Manehattan?
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> Peter still looked unimpressed, "So, you're just going to drop us off here. You're the worst prankster ever."
Don’t worry, Pete. I assume there’s another layer to this prank.
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> Vinetion cocked her head, "What do you..."
Wait…
Why didn’t Vinetion get changed into a stallion?



>>Chapter 79 - Part 5
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> Annabel held up a hand, "Now, you all remember the Heat season, right?"
Yeah, I do. Those chapters were a nightm—Oh, no.
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> "Well, I've done just that, but I reversed it.”
So, you’re going to recycle the same awful, awful plot from thirty chapters ago?
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> “Oh yes I did! Its the stallions that are sex crazy now, and they are running on pent up hormones! Oh shit! That's right, and they're looking for the nearest mare. And guess what? You're the only mares in the whole city!'
Did Annabel just throw them into a rape pit?
Jesus Christ, what the hell? I already know that Kickass222urmom considers rape to be a hilarious theme with no real repercussions, but come on.
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> Vinetion held up her hoof, "But wait, where are the other mares?"
> "Oh them? I just turned them into stallions. Why? Well, since there wasn't enough stallions here, I just turned the mares into stallions. Now, you're the only thing they're after. Yay!"
There comes a point where you can’t just justify this stuff. Throwing nine mares into a city full of extremely horny stallions is considered a prank? Are you so detached from reality that this is sounds like a good time for everyone?
Oh yeah, I can see it right now, ten chapters from now, everyone is gathered around the fireplace reminiscing about the good times, and then Lance is going to say “Hey! Remember when all of us got brutally raped by an entire city worth of stallions? Wasn’t that great?” And then everyone will laugh with him.
Then Greg is going to say something about how he wished he could have been the one doing the raping and everyone sill just brush it off because that’s just typical Greg for you.
And then someone is going to make a retort about how Zorrow or Seth got the largest amount of stallions after them.
And I don’t even want to talk about Vinetion; she’s the only real mare in there.
Fuck you, Kickass222urmom. You disgust me.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 6
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> I gulped, "That's screwed up!"
You’re damn right it is.
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> "Oh I know it is. This will be so fun! Now, for the rules, no flying and no magic." […] "And no controlling plants."
Why don’t you just tie them down and put them in the main square? That will save all of us a lot of time.
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> "Now, I bet you all want to know how to win this game, right?"
By killing yourself?
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> “All you have to do is: Survive a full month without being raped, get raped by a stallion, or find the very small golden key hidden somewhere in the city."
Ugh… Ok, let me get this straight.
Annabel closed down an entire city, a big, important city such as Manehattan, for an entire month.
Then she turned all of the mares into stallions.
And then proceeded to change their nature as to make them go in heat.
And after that she took a group of stallions, turned them into mares and dropped them in the city full of horny stallions.
And you tell them that they ‘have’ to get raped if they want to get out?
That’s the only logical conclusion, since there’s no way Twilight and the rest would be ok with Annabel taking away their husbands/boyfriends for a whole month. So she must be expecting them to get raped relatively soon.
Besides, Twilight and the rest would go looking for them, and I’ve got the feeling that they may begin their search in the city that has mysteriously become full of stallions, and nobody can leave.
And what’s with the key? Are you at least going to tell them where it may be?
No?
Ok, just checking.
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> I glared, "You made it were they can sense us?!"
Of course, there’s yet another catch to this insanity.
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> The door that led onto the roof began to bulge outward as a crowd of stallions began pushing against it.
At least Kickass222urmom doesn’t have a double standard with rape.
He finds both mare-on-stallion and stallion-on-mare rape hilarious.
Yeah, that doesn’t make things better.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 7
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> "Here, I'll put you all on another building, but that's all I'm going to do."
Oh, how considerate of you, Annabel.
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> "What do we do!" Shadow Breeze yelled out.
Poor Shadow Breeze.
He only had one and a half scene and never did anything wrong.
I bet he’ll be the first one to get raped.
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> I held up a hoof, "We survive. Come on guys.... no, come on girls, we can survive."
Aren’t you still men, but in the bodies of mares?
Blegh, forget it.
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> Inside was a office building, but nothing more. There wasn't a sole in there, well, as far as I could tell.
Of course not, why should there be a fish in an office building?
I know, I know. That was incredibly lame, but I don’t think I can take the rest of the chapter.
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> [Spooky... we need to find a light switch.]
Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t you in an office building? Don’t those have large windows?
And there are thousands of horny stallions in the city coming after you?
Do you really think that turning on the lights is a good idea?
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> Hmmm, maybe I can find one over by the managers office.
Sure. Go on your own, I’m quite certain nothing bad will happen.
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> "Please me!" Yelled a stallion's voice.
Because it’s all about you, isn’t it?
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> Oh fuck me!
You may want to pick other words, Lancy.
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> It was a large grey stallion, a look of lust in his eyes, "You're all mine pretty lady."
Random thought.
Did Annabel also make every gay stallion straight for this?
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> I stood up and shuddered, I then looked at Vinetion, "Thanks Vine, I owe you one."
“But seeing as I had to spend a whole month as a colt because of you, let’s call it even.”
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> Zorrow walked over to the large windows that over looked the street and instantly jumped back, "Lights off!"
Kickass222urmom wrote this part as if it was some kind of big revelation, and it could have worked, had it not been telegraphed to the reader since they entered the office.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 8
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> Outside the window, five stories down, was the street, full of stallions. The building opposite of us also had stallions in it, all searching for mares.... and we're the only mares here!
Yeah, it’s safe to assume that all of them saw you.
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> Vinetion picked up a desk and threw it on her back, "Hurry! We have to barricade the stairs and all entrances to this floor!"
Well thought, Vine.
A bunch of desks and chairs will surely hold off thousands of stallions, many of whom are perfectly capable of using magic and flight.
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> "What about this guy?" Greg asked looked down at the unconscious stallion.
> Vinetion pointed to the stairs, "Throw him down them to the first floor, duh."
Do you mean the stallion that got brainwashed by a draconequus into getting in heat and is being forced to have sex with us, and probably hasn’t done anything wrong?
Kill him of course!
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> After ten minutes, we finally had all the entrances blocked. We were safe, for now.
Did you block the windows too?
I’m sure a bunch of very desperate pegasus may be willing to crash through a window if it means getting some.
And what is preventing unicorns from teleporting into the office? It’s not as if you can set up magical barriers of any kind.
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> I collapsed and laid back, "God, being a mare is tough."
And this is the most positive thing said about women in the entire fic.
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> [Greg] smirked and began to rub his.... that's sick! "Its so much easier to masturbate!"
Hooray for debauchery, I guess.
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> Greg laughed and looked at Vinetion, "What about you Vine? You like girls."
> She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, but not when their you."
Hey, if you’re trapped in a city for a month with a very real and omnipresent threat of rape, you should take things with humour.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 9
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> Shadow shrugged, "I have no idea. I think we should get some supplies, as in food and water, and hold out here."
Thanks for being sane, Shadow Breeze, and while I may agree with you on the surface, I don’t think holding out will do much good, right now you have to prepare an escape plan for the time the stallions come, and they will come.
After all—
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> "WHERE THE FUCK IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" David screamed from the other side of the room.
Yeah, so much for trying to go unnoticed.
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> "GUYS! SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU'RE GOING TO ATTRACT ALL THE STALLIONS IN THE FUCKING AREA!"
Oh boy, I wonder what will happen now.
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> *Bang bang bang*
Well, if there were stallions close enough to bang the door mere seconds after they yelled, then the group was already doomed.
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> "Oh shit! They found us!"
I think they should just leave Lance as a sacrifice.
Actually…
Why doesn’t one of them bite the bullet and offer himself to the horde of stallions?
Once they’re done, that person will be sent back to Ponyville, where he can inform Twilight and the Princesses about what’s going on and send a rescue team.
But no, horse rape.



>>Chapter 79 - Part 10
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> My eyes widened. What are we going to do?! We're trapped!
And now you see the importance of backup plans.
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> "To the stairs! We can go up to the next floor."
“I’m sure that floor won’t be filled with stallions!”
Actually, it shouldn’t. If Annabel transported you to the roof of that building, you had to go through the other floors when you were looking for a place to stay, so I assume that those floors are cleared, right?
Right?
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> Luckily, the floor above us was a storage area, so no elevator or back entrances. Just one door... not good, but its all we have.
A mostly empty yet secluded space with no places for stallions to hide and ambush you and a single entrance to watch?
Why the hell didn’t you stay there in the first place?
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> Vinetion slammed the door shut and quickly pushed a large crate in the way.
And in spite of the rampant misogyny of the Living-verse, Vinetion is the only one that is being useful.
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> <We're screwed!>
[Literally...]
That you are.
This is the end of the chapter, because such a riveting tale of unwilling sex change and forced sex was obviously deserving of a multi-chapter arc, at least three more to be precise.
This is going to be a very long weekend…


>>Chapter 80 - Part 1
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> Title: I’ll be the stallion bait.
Well, I’ll be damned they are making a smart decision.
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> "Where is he?!"
> "Patience, he'll come on his own time."
If you’re waiting around for Lance to do something, then your mission is not that important.
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> "But, we need his body now!"
Yeah, so do the thousands of stallions of Manehattan
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> "Calm yourself, we'll have it in due time."
> "Shall I prepare the chamber?"
By the time these guys do their evil plot thing, I am quite sure they won’t have explained why they had to wait.
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> "Yes, I want it to be ready for him."
The only thing that I get from this excerpt is that the weird cannibal chick wasn’t part of this group, or was related to their plan in any way.
Anyway, back to the potential rape.
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> Outside the door, we could hear the stallions cheering. They hadn't found us, but they know we're close.
You only went to the upper floor, where else can they look?
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> Greg had a bottle of lotion in his hoof, and was pouring it out onto his other hoof. […] Greg then began to rub the lotion on his ass... why?!
> Greg shrugged, "Well, we're about to get raped, right? So, I want it to be as painless as possible."
Greg has done the one smart thing per arc quota.
Now let’s see the rest of them throw around the idiot ball.
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> I looked up towards the ceiling, and shook my hoof at it, "[…] FUCKING REALLY?!"
Guess what, there were air dunks big enough to let them escape.
You think that the first thing one would do when barricading themselves is to scout the place for anything that can be useful.
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> Vinetion jumped up and grabbed my hoof with hers. I then pulled with all my strength. I almost dropped her, but I was able to get her into the shaft.
Thank goodness, the tension was killing me.
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> We then began pulling everyone else into the vents.
It’s almost as if the tension was falling asleep with every word.




>>Chapter 80 - Part 2
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> [Zorrow] jumped up and grabbed our hooves, but when we began to pull him up, the door burst open.A stallion charged in and tackled him out of the air
Unsurprisingly, the butt monkey is the first one to go down.
Let’s see if the stallions will give “Butt-monkey” a new meaning.
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> Seth hung his head, "Poor guy..."
If the last “Heat” arc was any indication, it’s more likely than not that you would have thrown him to the hordes of stallions just to save yourselves.
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> I twisted around to see Zorrow, barely holding onto the inside of the vent. He looked at me and said, "Run you fools!"
If he could get to the ledge that easily with several stallions hanging onto him, why did he need Lancy and Vinetion’s help?
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> For the first time, Zorrow had a piece of luck. We pulled him free of the stallions grasp and hauled him into the vent.
Remember how Annabel said that the only way of getting out was surviving for a whole month, find a key somewhere in the city, or get raped?
This may seem harsh, but why doesn’t someone bite the bullet, gets raped and once he gets out, informs the Princesses of what’s going on?
It’s better than staying in that city for a month, scavenging for food and shelter, and still have the ever-present threat of rape on top of that.
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> It was quiet easy to move, since we were all smaller due to our female bodies.
I think this is the first time, outside of Greg’s impromptu masturbation, that their female bodies have been mentioned.
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> I passed over a vent and looked down. Under me was a break room.
> [FOOD!]
This is totally not a trap!
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> Aaron looked down and smiled, "Good job Lance!" He looked at Vinetion, "Here, lower me down. I'll get some of it."
I had to think really hard to remember that Aaron was the guy that gets paired with Vinyl.
Why is he here? I don’t think he and Lance ever interacted with each other.



>>Chapter 80 - Part 3
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> Before he could finish, we all head laughing, crazy laughing.
> "Annabel!" Shadow gasped as we all began to recognize the laughter.
Normally, I’d be against putting the characters through more suffering, but whatever moves the plot along is more than welcomed.
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> The door burst open and Aaron screamed. I looked to the door and became confused.
In the Living-verse, characters don’t get confused. They ‘become’ confused.
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> Is that Vinyl? As a stallion?! Annabel, you're so cruel...
Actually, that’s a marginally nice thing to do.
If you are going to get brutally raped, at least you’ll be brutally raped by your girlfriend.
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> Aaron held him back for a few seconds, "Go! I'll be fine, I promise. Besides, might be fun later to tease her with this."
Aaron has the right mindset.
If they ever have a discussion, he can end it by saying “You raped me!”
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> I saluted him, "You're a brave brony." I looked at the others, "He's an idiot. Lets hurry and leave before more come."
He just sacrificed himself for all of you, you ungrateful bastard.
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> I pointed to the far right one, "We go right."
> "Why?" Vinetion asked.
> I smirked, "Because its the right way."
I hope Lancy gets raped next.
He has already been raped by a horse, after all.
…
> "Hey Vinetion, what do you think of my sexy bod now?" Greg said as he walked behind Vinetion, who was crouched down.
Why is Greg hitting on Vine so much? Last time he cheated on Pinkie Pie he go—
Oh…
I see, he’s trying to hook up with Vine because if he cheats on Pinkie Pie, she’ll appear again to kick his ass, and then she can take all of them out of there.
Well thought, Greg!
…
> I closed my eyes, keep your cool Lance, "Because, she's a mare and you're bei-AHHHHH!"
Well, I do see your point, but have you considered "GAAAAIEEEEE!"?



>>Chapter 80 - Part 4
…
> I screamed out as my front hoof went down and touched nothing but air. I fell forward and began to fall straight down a air dunk.
You mean an air duct?
…
> I spun around and angled myself with the wall and kicked out hard with my back legs. This caused my back to slam into the wall, and my legs on the opposite.
I’m sure the friction would rip most of your fur and skin.
…
> "I'm coming for you Lance!" I heard Greg yell out.
Yes, let’s split the party. That always turns out well, right?
…
> I recovered first and pushed Greg off and began crawling down the shaft.
I thought you had stopped “only a foot or so from the bottom” before Greg crashed on you.
Wouldn’t you be at the bottom already? How can you crawl down?
…
> I crouched down and looked out. It was the outside! We was still at least twelve feet in the air, but at least we could get out of the building.
Hooray! Now we’ll be out in the open with almost no place to hide!
…
> I smiled, "I know the perfect place. […] The Sleeping Stallion."
So, this is the reason for that trip to Manehattan with Deela? So you could have somewhere to stay once you were trapped here?
I’d say that’s smart if it weren’t for the overwhelming evidence that Kickass222urmom makes these on the fly.
…
> “Before you ask, its a hotel, not a club."
The name makes it quite obvious that it’s a hotel.
…
> “Just let me find a land marker or something."
You mean landmark?
Seriously, Kickass. It’s not as if these are obscure words.



>>Chapter 80 - Part 5
…
> I looked up at the sky, letting the rain run down my face. "Come on, lets just look around. I've been all over this city, I should be able to find it."
This should be fun, a group of eight mares making their way through stallion-infested Manehattan. I wonder who will be the first one to fa—
…
> Sometime later, after sneaking through some alleys and back streets, we finally found a clue to where the hotel is
Well, that was fast. At least we can see how they make a mad dash to the ho—
…
> The billboard was on top of a large building, and it had a picture of a stallion sleeping in a comfortable looking bed, 'The Sleeping Stallion Hotel. We provide the best services for less!'
If nothing was going to happen in the way to the hotel, why didn’t they just appear in the building next to the hotel?
What was the point of having them go through the city if nothing was going to happen to them?
Tell me that at least they’re going to take someone away before they get in the hotel, or that it is an ambush.
…
> Ahead of us, only a block away, was a large crowd of stallions.
Great!
Then this part wasn’t entirely pointless
…
> All walking around outside of the Sleeping Stallion... really? Fucking really?!
A large group of stallions gathered around one of the places where you’d expect a group of mares to hide?
Preposterous!
…
> I began to motion for us to go back, but when I turned, I saw another large crowd of stallions coming towards us.
Will our protagonist escape the coming onslaught of rape? Probably not!
…
> I have two options: We can all make a break for it, or we can hide... or, and I really hate this one, someone could distract them all away from the group.
So, three options?