My college app ill never use. Hope you enjoy. Its too long

Is it possible to be depressed your whole life and not even know it?  Everything that's always happened to me seems like it takes a turn for the worse.  You might be thinking, how can this kids life be so bad.  He has a house and lives in a middle class family.   Sure, I get things given to me that make me happy like food or a games, but as I've said many times in the past, something bad always happens at the end.  What I received could not make up for the pain that i've been through.  I’ve been through so many mental states, I can never fully tell which one i'm in.  For example, I decided to make a major decision for me at the time and devote myself to playing football for three years of high school.  This seemed like the right decision, but of course I achieved nothing but criticism that made me dread and hate every last day of it.  I seemed to have a good time because I didn't want to be the downer of the team, nor could I quit because I didn't want to be called a quitter for the rest of my time at___.  I had started something and I was going to finish it, no matter how much I hated it.  After only playing in two games my whole high school career, I can successfully say that the last day of my senior season of football was one of the best days of my life.  This might not necessarily relate to something bad happening at the end but that's because every part of it was terrible.  Waking up at 6 A.M. to practice five hours a day during summer break then get yelled at by the coaches for not being big enough to maintain a starting position was one of the worst experiences of my life.  My mind convinced me to like it and keep going.  When practices were over, I always could expect someone to mention how skinny and tall I was and that I should be praying like the good Jew I am.  Before all of this,  the sport I loved the most was baseball. I had to stop playing because I got a stress fracture in my arm.  Before that, I was diagnosed with ADHD and I  was given the wrong medications for months on months making me extremely depressed, and angry and very suicidal. The fact that I've come this far in my life is actually quite amazing to me.  I've done everything I can to get around the obstacles like receiving hate everyday at football and work as hard as I can in high school.  Even after all of this, I still fall short in with my GPA and SAT scores.  It feels like an empty hole in my heart that can never be filled.  I tried so hard to impress everyone on the  field and in school, but still I was made fun of and fell short of my goals.  If there was only one thing that could make it all seem worth it to me, it would be receiving an acceptance letter into my dream school of Virginia Tech.  It would be like hitting the restart button to a new life.  One where I could forget about all of my experiences in ____ and make new ones in Blacksburg.  One where no one will make fun of my dream of becoming a sports broadcaster.  One where I can look around and see that there are people just like me.  At Virginia Tech, I can hopefully join programs like the one that I’m currently in for United Snoyague Youth or USY.  Being the Israel Affairs Vice President, I plan charitable events for young Jewish teens in my area.  This is one of the areas I can be myself and express my opinions.  This is one of the few areas where I know I can find happiness.  I hope by reading this essay you can take away one thing about my life.  I might have been sad and felt like I have failed, but I held on and fought threw.  I hope you will give me the opportunity to find happiness at Virginia Tech and make it my home for the next four years.