Lauer and Gurgy

.......Hm. It seems that I, a 16 year old male from Texas know less about kids then Lauer did. Luckily, we have a satellite uplink with him right now. Peter! Peter Lauer, are you there?

Lauer: Yes. Yes I am. I see you're reviewing Cry Baby Lane.

Correct you are.

Lauer: Have you picked up on the subtle nuances of innuendo strewn about the film?

.........No I have not. But anyways, it seems as though you know more about kids than anyone else. Care to explain some of your unique knowledge with us?

Lauer: Can I do it in song?

Go ahead.

Lauer: Well.......
Gurgy, my friend, I can not express my delight
It's extremely well-put, that me stepping my foot, will make everything clear and alright

Gurgy: Yeah, this looks to be quite a thrill ride
But please just stick to the subject I said
It's of utmost importance that the info you give is versically, intelligently said

Lauer: Kids. Verse. Smart. Got it.
I have so many hardcutting insights, just wait and you'll see

Gurgy: Can we cut through the treacle?
Our younger readers are getting antsy

Lauer: Well, kids hang out with old folks
Even if they're creepy, untrusted, and mysterious as can be

Gurgy: Creepy? Mysterious? I wouldn't say that. His stories were, but he wasn't.

Lauer: Gurgy, hang on. See, now, that was only my first fact
Sooner or later, we'll get nearly on-track
Just wait, my boy, it'll all be apparent soon!

Gurgy: Oh god, he's a rambler. Make him stop.

Lauer: Okay, how 'bout this. 8 year-olds read Tolkien novels and play games based on them. Keep in mind, this is a year before Jackson's adaptions are released, so I can't use that as an excuse. And the Bakshi adaptions weren't that well-known to kids then. So reading the books is the only way they'll know the story.

Gurgy: ...Yeah, no.

Lauer: I have so many hardhitting tidbits, you're going to see
Worms and strange scenes, who knows what I mean?

Gurgy: And that is related, why?

Lauer: Well, it really isn't. I was just stating my confusion at some aspects of the film

Gurgy: YOU'RE THE DIRECTOR! I'm about ready to end this if you don't~

Lauer: Don't think about leaving, I'll say something worthwhile
Did you know I wanted Andrew to be a crocodile?

Gurgy: You really have no idea what you're doing here, do you?

Lauer: .........Not really, no

Gurgy: Of course, I just knew it
Your title is just a hoax, it's full of shit

Lauer: Now, hold on
I make some awesome movies
Timeless and classic too

Gurgy: For being drunk, yes you do
A HOAX!
THAT'S IT!
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN SAY
TO DETER MY CURRENT TRAIN OF THOUGHT
NO TALENT,
NO MINDSET,
ABILITY, AND SUCH
YOUR MIND'S A TRAP AND YOU'RE CAUGHT

Lauer: I'm writing for kids, that should be considered
Gurgy: Tell that to Faust, Povenmire, and all that glitters
Lauer: They ARE both awesome and cool
Gurgy: Unlike you
This film is much less than 20% of the best

(Next two lines sung together)
Gurgy: And in comparison, you will see
Lauer: Maybe I should listen to Gurgy

Gurgy: Cry Baby Lane isn't really

Both: A great movie!
Lauer: So glad that I now see

Gurgy: You're denser than me