~the spirit in me is screaming, demanding
 i give it a voice.
 > I have no choice but
 to follow- the question is how well will i do my job,
 > and how long will it take me to get around
 myself, release my hand and let
 > the
 words flow from my soul? just release- thoughts fears
 expectations
 > Release! This mental
 agitation-
 >
 >
 Anguish, this same dish,
 > Time and again
 I find it on my plate
 > It arises when I
 ignore my fate.
 > Fear ties me down,
 blinds me in ignorance,
 > I cant just
 just keep praying for deliverance.
 > I
 have to rise.
 > I have to make my
 stand.
 > I have to have faith in the
 master plan.
 > The ultimate prize
 > Awaits those who overcome stagnation,
 > Shed the negative sensations:
 > Those thoughts
 > Of
 what you ought
 > Of always needing
 more.
 > Of failure
 >
 Of  worth
 > Of judgement
 > Just release
 > Them to
 the wind
 > It will carry them far, and if
 you just keep pushing though the doubt
 >
 You will find yourself amidst
 > A field
 of beauty, a wondrous vision~
 >
 > "Enough, Daelim! Come outside, for we
 are going to go change the world."
 >
 > What? I don't
 recognize the voice, how can they know my name? Curiosity
 > outweighs fear and I go outside.
 Immediately, my world is transformed,
 >
 though it's not readily apparent what has changed. I
 feel, lighter? But
 > with a certain
 weight. The prickling of destiny, lingering at the
 > extremities of my awareness.
 >
 > "There's the
 man of the hour! Come, Daelim, the time for words on the
 page
 > is over! Art is meant to be left
 behind, to be abandoned for those to come.
 > The Word has come- no longer must we wait
 and leave signs, for We are the
 > ones we
 have waited for. And you, my friend, you have been called to
 Lead."
 >
 > The
 man before me was big and broad, with a bushy beard, thick
 eyebrows
 > and a huge smile. Perhaps
 absurdly, he had a broadsword hefted on his
 > shoulder. I still had my pen in hand, and
 its weight shifted. I looked down
 > at
 it, it was now a slightly curved sword. I looked back at the
 man.
 >
 > "There
 is danger where we are going, the path is fraught with
 peril. The
 > Journey, The Way has come.
 It is not an easy path, we will face our fears,
 > doubts, and demons literally manifest. But
 the good news, Daelim, the good
 > news is
 that they no longer plague you inside as they have before,
 if you
 > don't let them. Listen- can
 you hear it? The sweet voices of the wind,
 > whispering of truth and beauty?"
 >
 > I cast my eyes
 inward. As soon as I do, I hear a voice, pure and true.
 She
 > is talking to me of grandeur,
 telling me what the man had said, that the
 > time for making art for those to come was
 over.  She also said to guard my
 >
 heart, to focus on her voice and the images she conjured,
 for she would
 > give me hope and light
 and if I followed her voice i would stay true and go
 > on to do great things. I didn't have
 the slightest doubt, for her voice
 > left
 me awash in the feelings that my best days had left me:
 > interconnected, United, fulfilled and
 creative.
 >
 > I asked
 her if she had a name and she said her name was Amavril. If
 I
 > could be amazed any further I would
 have been disturbed by the fact that a
 >
 reddish pink sylphlike creature emerged from my chest. At
 first, she looked likye an orb with
 ears, but then I looked closer and saw that there was a pyxie like being inside of it. She waved
 at me and then turned to my compatriot.
 >
 "Haymirk, Daelim is mute, but he wishes to make it
 known that he is quite
 > pleased to make
 your acquaintance, as he is sure that the two of you will
 > make for grand companions," she says
 with a curtsy.
 >
 Haymirk looks shocked, and a bright blue orb emerges from
 his chest. The
 > two fairies started
 chattering really fast and I could only gather snippets
 > of their conversation. They were talking
 of something called the Grand
 > Adventure
 and how they were so excited that it was finally here. The
 blue
 > fairy, called Liliana, expressed
 admiration for Amavril, saying that she
 >
 wouldn't have chosen a different charge even if she
 could have, but that
 > Amavril was lucky
 to have me as her charge.
 >
 > "I didn't even know they could do
 that," haymirk says with a wry grin,
 > "Your muse will give you the rundown
 soon enough, im sure. but If you're
 >
 anything like me, you are already feeling the seeds of
 doubt. 'Surely there
 > must be some
 mistake. I'm nobody. I've done nothing. They have
 the wrong
 > guy.' Amavril will tell
 you better than I can, but things are different
 > now.
 >
 > These faeries, they are raw inspiration.
 They have chosen us because we
 > are
 artist, dreamers, philosophers. We dream of a purer world-
 we dream of
 > Their world, Daelim. We
 yearn for its purity, for its unity, and we can see
 > it. previously, it was our job to record
 what feeble visions we could peer
 >
 through and share them with the world, who cannot see.
 Always, always the
 > goal was to get
 people to see it so we could bring it here.
 >
 > There is enough of us
 Daelim! Now, for as long as we choose to follow
 > them, they will remove the obstacles and
 iniquity that have plagued us for
 > so
 long. Me and you are to journey now, others will join us
 along the way.
 > Then at some point,
 where even the Fairies don't know yet, we will build.
 > We will build a city, and those who feel
 the Call will come. We will shine
 >
 brighter, and brighter, until the whole world can
 see."
 >
 > I
 needed time to absorb this- I was awash in contrasting
 feelings, each
 > clamoring for attention.
 My head was swirling. I waved my hand for haymirk
 > to follow and I headed inside. I had a pot
 of tea already brewing and I
 > motioned
 forwards it, I wasnt hungry but I brought out bread meat
 and
 > cheese. I was a bit so ed out and
 haymirk looked understanding. Even
 >
 Amavril remained silent, having finished her conversation
 with liliana she
 > had perched upon my
 shoulder.
 >
 "Take your time" she said softly, then louder

Take your time" she said softly, then louder: "Daelim wishes for you to
> make yourself at home. He is a bit overcome and needs to gather himself."
>
> I walk back outside. As I sit down to stretch out on the ground, Amavril
> flutters up and then lands on my chest as I lay down. she give me a hug,
> and says. so soft I couldn't have heard her if I didn't feel her words in
> my chest "You are capable, Daelim. When you need me, call and I will come."
>
> then, she faded from view, and the peace she had brought with her was
> gone, too. she understood I needed to deal with my ahit the hard way, raw
> an unfiltered. the first thing to rise, was ugliness: waves of fear, and
> doubt. This couldn't be happening, it was impossible, and even if it was
> possible, it couldn't be happening to me, and even if it was, there was no
> way id be able to do what these people expected of me. Plus, this was
> scary! and I hadn't even taken a step yet. This way was change- yes, there
> was a dim glimmer of hope at the end of the road- and, actually taking a
> closer look, lining the whole road. BUT! what if I wasn't ready?
>
> could I really hold up to the weight of hopes and expectations? How could
> I know if I didn't try? well if you don't try you cant fail. yes but if I
> don't try I cant succeed- its okay to be afraid, its okay to worry. I thank
> you, but I am not going to listen to you. hope began to blaze in my chest-
> MY hope, created by me- I WAS ready. I was going to do this. By my side, my
> pensword hummed quietly. the hope, that had guttered so long inside of my
> chest was now ablaze. As if in response, Amavril winks back into existence,
> and with her the peace and unity that her presence bought.
>
> "Oh, I'm so proud of you Daelim! we are going to do amazing things
> together"
>
> I used my sword to as leverage to climb to my feet and as i did so the
> door to my little cabin burst open and Haymirk stooped through the doorway,
> laughing heartily. He slaps me on the back, giving my heart a jump, and he
> presses a pack into my hands.
>
>  "I knew it wouldn't take you long! Hope you don't mind but I took the
> liberty of packing up the food you had in your cabin and your spare
> clothes. Now, lets set off!"
>
>  Liliana burst out of his chest bursting with song, and her and amavril
> fluttered above our path as me and Haymirk set off, to where none of us
> knew, and yet hope and beauty were in the air. I had written, in despair,
> of having faith in the master plan, and now I actually had it. This road,
> wasn't going to be easy, it was frought with hardship and peril but it
> would be everything I had ever wished for. If I could speak I would have
> lifted my voice up to the wind, so jouyeous was I. And, like that, we were
> off- the end of a futile existence and the beginning of the Grand
> Adventure. I still didn't know what it was, but I could feel it, singing in
> the air and in my bones, whispering in the wind and radiating from the sun.