somehow
[11:00:25 PM] Constantine Xen: this hurts me more than lumi not trusting me
[11:00:39 PM] Constantine Xen: being seen like someone who can actually do that
[11:00:55 PM] Constantine Xen: you spoke with zodac, you just fed eachothers drama
[11:01:15 PM] Constantine Xen: "involved chili"
[11:01:21 PM] Constantine Xen: so much involvment!!
[11:01:33 PM] Constantine Xen: asked him to ask her when she goes to norway, so i don't have to break silence
[11:02:46 PM] Uuh Ъ: and you think chili wouldnt find it weird asking him out of blue that?
[11:02:52 PM] Uuh Ъ: like seriously now?
[11:03:10 PM] Constantine Xen: i told him
[11:03:13 PM] Constantine Xen: "i'm not speaking to her"
[11:03:26 PM] Constantine Xen: and he knew i'm living together with her
[11:04:01 PM] Constantine Xen: i'm being seen as such a piece of shit
[11:04:15 PM] Constantine Xen: how can i face everyone else now?
[11:04:26 PM] Constantine Xen: i just let my bad emotions out to you people, i had no one else
[11:04:59 PM] Constantine Xen: and together, you all decided my fight is pointless
[11:05:10 PM] Constantine Xen: even now, i will not give up
[11:05:16 PM] Constantine Xen: friend or whatever
[11:05:29 PM] Constantine Xen: i will do whatever needs to be done to fix things with hanna
[11:05:45 PM] Constantine Xen: your opinions or convictions cannot break me
[11:06:06 PM] Constantine Xen: i have memories and experiences that are stronger than someones words
[11:06:41 PM] Constantine Xen: and i will struggle to keep them
[11:06:52 PM] Constantine Xen: even if it takes ten times the pain i have now
[11:06:59 PM] Constantine Xen: i will make things right
[11:09:49 PM] Constantine Xen: that's what you do for what you believe in
[11:09:53 PM] Constantine Xen: you don't just move on
[11:10:36 PM] Constantine Xen: you fight, until there is nothing left to fight for
[11:11:20 PM] Uuh Ъ: human feelings are much more complicated than you think they are
[11:11:50 PM] Constantine Xen: and how is this related to what i said?
[11:12:01 PM] Constantine Xen: i said that even if it doesn't work out as a couple
[11:12:17 PM] Constantine Xen: i want things with hanna to stay with me like they were, before she left
[11:12:33 PM] Constantine Xen: even for that, i am willing to struggle
[11:20:38 PM] Constantine Xen: at least zodac actually has real concerns..
[11:20:46 PM] Constantine Xen: doesn't try to justify himself at every moment
[11:24:25 PM] Uuh Ъ: I am taking the blame. I am not going to beg or cry or ask deperately for forgiveness. You can hate me, stop talking to me, block me, anything you want. I was prepared for everything the moment i decided what  to do.
[11:25:00 PM] Constantine Xen: see. nothing useful.
[11:25:07 PM] Constantine Xen: just "i take the blame"
[11:25:50 PM] Uuh Ъ: hmm.. so what do you want me to do then?
[11:26:13 PM] Constantine Xen: i don't know. for one, don't be so condescending.
[11:27:31 PM] Uuh Ъ: oh then what? cry and beg you to forgive me?
sorry, no
[11:27:42 PM] Constantine Xen: there's the condescendce again.
[11:27:49 PM] Uuh Ъ: whatever
[11:28:04 PM] Constantine Xen: zodac is not begging, nor he is crying
[11:28:15 PM] Constantine Xen: he's just not condescending.
[11:28:31 PM] Constantine Xen: yeah, he did say "this is a waste of time"
[11:28:37 PM] Constantine Xen: but he also said that earlier, all the time
[11:28:56 PM] Constantine Xen: he's consistent.
[11:29:49 PM] Uuh Ъ: yeah sorry I'm not straightforward. next time i will have it in mind
[11:30:02 PM] Constantine Xen: don't get into a next time
[11:30:20 PM] Constantine Xen: before you put someone else's relationship with people they value in jeopardy
[11:30:39 PM] Constantine Xen: i will dig myself out of this
[11:31:02 PM] Constantine Xen: i don't know how, but i will
[11:31:25 PM] Constantine Xen: with a valuable lesson, a painful one
[11:31:55 PM] Constantine Xen: i would be able to forgive you only if you actually mentioned anything to me first
[11:32:07 PM] Constantine Xen: but hey-you went behind my back just as well
[11:32:12 PM] Constantine Xen: on assumptions