Anon: Vampony Hunter! Crucible (2/2)

>Day the Trial of the Century in Equestria

Companion image is here: http://victor-whiterock.deviantart.com/art/Carnelian-Objection-Victor-Whiterock-393130036

>You are Carnelian; a bat pony.
>And right now you are on trial for your life!
>OK, maybe not your life.
>According to your new friend Anon the death penalty doesn't exist in Equestria.
>You’re still pretty nervous though.
>Where did it all go wrong?
>A couple of days ago you were just a happy go lucky wanderer going wherever you pleased.
>Well, that’s not true, because even though there’s a lot of talk about bat pony equality since Princess Luna came back, you have still run into a lot of bad blood since leaving home.
>Ponies take one look you and tell you to take a hike.
>So much for the Magic of Friendship.
>You finally found this awesome place in the Everfree forest.
>I was some kinda ancient castle and it was sooooo coooool.
>It even had a working pit trap! How bat was that?!
>Then this crazy creature shows up and turns your world upside down.
>You still aren't sure what he is exactly.
>He calls himself a vampire hunter and you guess he wanted to hunt you because he came storming into the castle with all kinds of weapons and stuff.
>It was pretty intense.
>Still, you were always pretty good at tag growing up, so you didn’t have much trouble luring him into your pit trap.
>After talking to him though, you figured out that he wasn’t a bad guy.
>He was just kind of a serious dude who thought you were one of the ‘undead’.
>You’ve never been real good with books and stuff but how is something supposed to be ‘un’dead?
>Wouldn’t the un- in undead mean it was alive?
>You’ll have to ask Anonymous later.
>The trial is about to start.
>You are standing behind a table on a makeshift platform in the center of town.
>Sitting across from you at a high bench is Princess Sparkle.
>You don’t know what to make of her.
>On the one hand, she seems friendly and everybody acts like she’s a pretty great pony.
>On the other hand, she did decide to put you on trial in front of the whole town.
>Sorry, a hearing not a trial.
>Anon explained the difference to you earlier.
>He’s gonna be you’re advocate during the hearing.
>Still not sure how you feel about that, but not a lot of options at this point.
>The crowd starts to make a hubbub and you turn to see what’s going on.
>You feel a little sick.
>Making her way through the other ponies is the one who brought this all crashing down on you.
>Miss Applejack.
>It was her cows that you drank some blood from.
>She’s royally cheesed off and she lets you know with her glare.
>If looks could kill.
>Anon says that she is your accuser at this hearing.
>So far she’s doing a pretty good job.
>You look anywhere else so that you don’t have to lock eyes with her.
>That’s when you spot her companion.
>Wow, whatahunk!
>He’s this big red stallion with an orange mane and an apple cutie mark.
>That probably means he’s related to her.
>Her husband maybe?
>”Hear ye, hear ye, this hearing is called under the authority of Her Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle. The case of Carnelian v. Applejack. Step forward and ye shall be heard!”
>The royal guard rolls up his scroll and turns towards the Princess who speaks.
>”Right, let’s hear from the plaintiff first and then the defense. Big Mac, I take it that you are going to represent Applejack?”
>”That’s right Miss- er- Yer Highness. I think if Applejack here represented herself we might hear some words that ain’t fit fer the young’uns ears.”
>The crowd bursts into laughter at that.
>”Man, he’s good.” mutters Anon.
“What do you mean?”
>”Using humor to get the crowd on his side.”
>Oh. Well that doesn’t sound good at all.
>Your defender continues, “Just remember, stay calm, tell the truth, and whatever you do don’t get into a shouting match with that cow pony.”
“Uh, right. And you’ve got a good defense put together?”
>Anon pauses.
>Uh,oh.
>”I’ve got it mostly figured out. I’m just having a friend iron out a few of the remaining kinks.”
>He nods over to a little guy sitting two rows back.
>You assume he’s a guy.
>You can’t really tell what he looks like because of the giant book that he’s reading.
>Can’t worry about that now; big, red, and hunky is about to do his thing.
>”Ah-hem! If it please the court this case is pretty cut an’ dry. The accused, Miss Carnelian, attacked the cows on our farm and knowingly caused bodily harm to the poor critters. This is assault, plain and simple.”
>He pauses.
>”That’s about it, Yer Highness.”
>The Big Red One walks back to his table and sits down.
“That’s it?”
>Anon turns to you.
>”Sometimes simple is best.”
>Anon gets up and struts towards the bench.
>Your defender can be a little… dramatic sometimes.
>This‘ll either be awesome or a disaster.
>Possibly an awesome disaster.
>”If it please the court, my client has been accused of assault with the intent to exsanguinate.”
>Exsangua-what?
>”Did she in fact drink the blood of various and sundry cows on The Apple Family’s farm? The answer is yes, she did.”
>The crowd gasps.
>You feel faint.
>”BUT!” Anon wheels towards the crowd to get their attention. “I intend to prove that no real harm was done and that my client is being unfairly targeted simply because she is a bat pony.”
>Whew.
>”I would go on, but the facts of this case will speak for themselves. I have no doubt that you will find my client innocent. Thank you.”
>Anon comes back to your table and you give him the stink eye.
“You scared me half to death!” you mutter.
>”Sorry, I didn’t really have time to go over all this with you.”
>The Princess nods towards Anon.
>”Call your first witness.”
>”I call… Muriel the cow.”
>The crowd gasps.
>You really wish they‘d stop doing that.
>A big cow comes up and stands by the Princess and the guard swears her in.
>”Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Celestia?”
>”Oh, goodness yes.”
>Anon approaches the delicious looking cow and puts on a friendly face.
>”Now Miss Muriel, are you one of the cows that has her blood drained over the period of the last two weeks?”
>”Well, yes I am.”
>”And how did that affect you?
>”Well, golly, I woke up a little light headed the next morning but other than that I was okay.”
>”I see. So overall, you would say that you suffered no ill effects from having your blood drawn. Is that correct?”
>Big Red jumps to his hooves.
>”Objection! Puttin’ words in the witness’s mouth.”
>”Hmmnn…” The Princess pondered. “Sustained. Rephrase your question please.”
>You have to hand to Anon, he doesn’t miss a beat.
>”Of course, your highness. Miss Muriel, would you say that you suffered any lasting ill effects from having your blood drawn?”
>”No, I don’t think so.”
>”Thank you. Tell me, have you ever seen my client before today?”
>”Hmm, no I don’t think so.”
>”How can that be if she’s the one who drank your blood?”
>”Goodness, I was asleep when it happened.”
>”And you didn’t wake up at all?”
>”No, I don’t think any of us did.”
>”So do you think my client should be punished for what she did?”
>What the heck is my defender asking? Is he mental?!
>”No, I don’t think so. If she were to apologize, I’d be okay with that.”
>Ohmygoshwhatakindheartedcow!
>”I see. Well then, thank you Miss Muriel.
>He nods towards Red Delicious. “Your witness.”
>”Miss Muriel, what do you do for work?”
>”I’m a milk cow.”
>”Right, and the morning after you got bit and had your blood taken did you go to your scheduled mornin’ milkin’?”
>“Well no, I was lightheaded for a little bit that morning so I missed it.”
>”So in point o’ fact the accused's actions did cause you some trouble after all.”
>”Objection. Words in mouth.”
>Good job, Anon! Give Hunkalicious a dose of his own medicine!
>”Sustained.”
>”Would ya’ say that missin’ the mornin’ milkin’ was a bother to ya’?”
>”Yes, I suppose you could say that.”
>”No further questions, Yer Highness.”
>As Muriel steps down you wonder why the ponies in this town can’t be as chill as that cow is.
>”Anon, please call your next witness.”
>”Thank you, Princess. I call the defendant, Miss Carnelian, to the stand.”
>The crowd gasps.
>The Princess bangs her gavel. “I would ask all those in attendance to please refrain from anymore disruptions. If you’re going to gasp, save it for something important.”
>Thank you, Your Highness.
>You go up to the stand and get sworn in.
>Anon asks you how long you have been living in the Everfree Forest, and how long you have been traveling alone.
>Fortunately he doesn’t ask you why you had to leave home.
>He asks why you felt the need to live in the Everfree, so you explain how all the ponies you’ve run into so far have treated you pretty badly.
>It’s possible that you’re glaring at the villagers as you say this.
>Anon asks why you attacked the cows.
>You explain that you are not natural hunter and you were kind of getting desperate for some blood.
”I can’t really handle a whole lot of other food besides soft stuff like fruit,” you explain, “so when I saw the cows I got a little desperate.”
>He asks if you know what you did was wrong.
”Yes,” you say. “I… it was wrong. I-I’m sorry.”
>Great, now you’re starting to tear up.
>Turning towards Muriel and the other cows, you try to hold it together.
“I s-should have at least a-asked your permission. I’m sorry.”
>Ducking your head, you try not to start sobbing.
>You hope this is worth it, because this is probably the most embarrassed you’ve ever been in your whole life.
>Anon put his hand on your shoulder, briefly.
>”No more questions, Your Highness.”
>He goes back to his seat and the Princess pipes up.
>”You witness Macintosh.”
>Oh, great. You’re a mess and now you have to answer this palooka’s questions.
>It wouldn’t be so bad if he weren’t so hot.
>”No questions, Yer Highness.”
>Huh?
>You look up and see the Apples whispering to each other.
>Applejack doesn’t look terribly pleased.
>Princess Sparkle looks over at the clock tower.
>”Very well, Miss Carnelian you are excused. Let’s have a ten minute recess.”
>She bangs her gavel and the only thing you can think of is getting off the witness stand as fast as possible.
>You slink back to your table and Anon puts his hand on your head.
>”I’m proud of you Carnelian.”
>You just look up at him and smile a little.
>It’s obvious that he wanted to show that you’re sorry for what you did.
>But it still sucks.
>”Ah-hem!”
>You turn and see a little fellow holding a big leather book and looking up at Anon.
>Holy Moly, is that a little dragon?!
>”What did you find Spike?”
>”Heh, you’re gonna love this.”
>The dwarf dragon talks.
>And he is apparently your defender’s assistant law clerk.
>Fan-feathering-tastic.
>Anon reads a passage that the tiny dragon has marked for him in the huge book.
>After a few minutes Anon gets a big grin on his face.
>It looks kind of creepy given the fact that his face is kind of flat and he doesn’t have a proper muzzle.
>”Spike my boy, Twilight doesn’t deserve you.”
>”Yah, well, you owe me big for this one.”
>”Hey you know I’m good for the gems.” He turns away slightly. ”Eventually.”
>”Well, it’s a good thing I’m patient then, huh?”
>You wonder just how many gems Anon promised Spike.
>”Hear ye, hear ye! This hearing will now resume.”
>You all go back to your respective seats and the Princess asks Anon to call his next witness.
>”I call Miss Applejack to the stand.”
>Applejack approaches and the guard from before has her raise her right hoof.
>”Do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you Celestia?”
>Your orange tormentor gets an almost offended look on her face.
>”Of course Ah do.”
>The guard retreats and Anon starts pacing in front of the witness with his hands clenched behind his back.
>“Now Miss Applejack, I know you’re upset over this whole affair…”
>”Yer darn tootin’ I am!”
>”Uh, yes. Well. What exactly is your relationship to the cows involved in this matter?”
>”What do ya mean?”
>”Well you obviously care for their well-being.  Do you consider them family, are they employees of the farm? What?”
>”They ain’t employees, their mah cows.”
>”You say they’re your cows, but you don’t own them do you?”
>”Of course not. They live on Sweet Apple Acres. We take care of them and they give us some of their milk. They can leave it they want, but we take real good care of our cows.”
>”Ah, so it’s kind of like a sharecropping arrangement?”
>”I’ll thank ya not to use that term.”
>”Sorry. But my point is, you don’t own these cows and they are not members of your family, correct?”
>”Yah, that’s right.”
>Anon wheels towards your table and motions for Spike.
>While the little dragon trundles up to the stand the Princess gets a puzzled look on her face.
>”Spike? What are you..?”
>”Forgive me, Your Highness, but I enlisted Spike’s help with some research. Thank you, sir.”
>He takes the book and flips to the marked passage from earlier.
>”I would submit, Your Highness, that the plaintiff and the cows involved in this case have  a classical ‘animal husbandry’ relationship which is similar to the relationship between employees and their employer.”
>He pauses for a breath.
>”And according to Title 7, chapter 3, section 87f of the Equestrian legal code the one providing for the animals in question has no legal standing to bring suit on said animals behalf.”
>Everyone has to think about what Anon just said, including yourself.
>”I see!” the Princess exclaims. “That means that if the cows who got attacked want to bring suit they have to do it themselves. Applejack can’t do it for them.”
>Applejack is gaping like a fish.
>After reading the passage for herself the princess looks over at the orange mare with an apologetic look on her face.
>”I’m sorry Applejack but I have to agree with Anon’s interpretation of the law. If Muriel and the others want to bring suit themselves they can but I will have to dismiss this case on technicality.”
>As Princess Sparkle says these words you go numb and everything feels kinda far away.
>You can’t believe it.
>”But before I dismiss this case I would like to address all present.”
>The crowd, which is talking and reacting to the ruling, quiets down.
>”There have been a lot of hard feelings over this situation. Was the defendant wrong in what she did? She’s admitted that she was. And apologized for her actions.”
>Her Highness looks directly at you and you can’t look away.
>”It’s true that there have been problems in how we have treated our fellow bat ponies. But you know, if pegasi, earth ponies, and unicorns can learn to get along then we should be able to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, don’t you think?”
>Looking down at Applejack, she continues.
>”I would encourage everypony here, and cow, and human, to try to work this out amongst themselves. To be honest I really don’t want to hold another hearing on this matter. Anyway, that’s that. Case dismissed!”
>Anon turns to you and you’re still feeling kinda numb.
>”Hang out here for a bit OK? I gotta go talk to some folks. Spike, will you watch after her?”
>”Sure thing.”
>While your defender walks over to the Apple’s table, you chat with Spike.
>You find out that he is actually the Princess’s number one assistant.
>You also find out that Applejack is one of her very best friends.
”Isn’t that, like, a huge conflict of interests?”
>Spike waves away your concerns.
>”Nah, Twilight’s too dedicated to the law to let anything like that happen. Plus, she’s really dedicated to doing the right thing. All the Princesses are; that’s why they’re the Princesses.”
>You’re not sure that makes total sense but Anon is coming back so you’re not going to worry about it.
>”Thanks Spike. Alright we have a meeting with the Apples and all their cows tomorrow morning.”
“What?!”
>”Look, the worst is behind us. Look at the crowd. They don’t look like they want to tie you to a rail anymore. If you can settle this matter with Applejack than I think it will all be OK.”
“But… But…”
>”Don’t worry; I’ll be there for support.”
>”So will I.”
“Princess!”
>”Well, I'll be there in spirit anyway.” She turns to Anon. “You do realize that you’ll probably have to do something for Applejack to make it up to her?”
>”Yes, well, maybe Carnelian can harvest apples for a few weeks or something.”
>That doesn’t sound promising at all. But you suppose it’s better than prison.
>”Not to question the Crown or anything, but was all this really necessary?” Anon gestures towards the stage.
>”I believe it was. I’ve run into a lot of bad guys over the years, and fortunately I’ve helped a lot of them find their way back to the side of harmony.”
>She grins.
>”And I have found that the quickest way to help them get on with their lives is to have them get the forgiveness of the people they wronged so they can move on.”
>She looks at you again. ”Also, it’s true that bat ponies really are having a rough time out in wider Equestria. I was hoping that this could be a public forum to help clear the air between you and the citizens of Ponyville. I hope you’ll forgive them, and me, for putting you through all this.”
>You are stunned for a moment.
>A princess of Equestria asking for your forgiveness?
>Anon prods you.
“Uh, sure. I mean, yes that would be great!”
>”Wonderful!” She suddenly gives you a big hug.
>The Princess Is Actually Hugging You!!!
>”Oh, Princess Luna will be so pleased to hear about this!”
>”Uh Twilight,” Spike drones, “you might want to ease up.”
>”What? Oh right, sorry.”
>She lets go and you just about collapse.
>”Well let me know how it goes with Applejack. Come on Spike, we gotta return that law book you borrowed.”
>As they walk away, you turn to Anon who is looking very pleased with himself.
>You just sigh.
“So tomorrow we’ll go to Applejack’s, I’ll get put through the ringer, and then I’m free to go?”
>”What do mean ‘free to go’? Why wouldn’t you stay here?”
“Oh, come on! With the way everyone here feels about me? I can’t stay here.”
>Anon gives you a serious look for a minute, not saying anything.
>”Nuts to this.” He looks up at some passing ponies. “Hey Bon Bon, Lyra, come over here for a second would you?”
>A nervous looking beige mare and her bouncy, unicorn companion come trotting over.
>”Bon Bon, Lyra. Carnelian here doesn’t have a home right now and she’s been crashing at my place for the last few days. Would you mind if she stuck around Ponyville for a while until she can get back on her feet, er, hooves?”
>The mint colored unicorn giggles. “Hee, hee! Oh, Anon. You and your human-isms. Sure, why should I say no? Bonny?”
>Her companion looks down at the ground.
>”Um, well, I don’t mind. It’s just that…”
>She fixes you with a half frightened stare.
>”You- you don’t drink blood from ponies do you?”
>Time for the oldest joke in the bat pony arsenal.
“Only if they want me to.”
>The beige mare, Bon Bon, started snickering.
>That joke never fails.
>”Well, alright then.” She smiles.
>For once you feel like everything is going to be A-OK.
>”Welcome to Ponyville.”