The Bank Robbery

Request:
Grand Theft Auto: Ponyville
Trevor = Pinkie Pie
Michael = Anon
Franklin = Rainbow
Not accurately based on the game, just some ridiculous heist

It's not going to be related to the game at all. Especially since I've never played it

>"Anonymous, for almost destroying the entire town with a combination of white liquids, juices from Twilight Sparkle, books, spaghetti, and tomato sauce, you will be forced to perform community service for the next two months."
>Mayor Mare motions for the guards to release you, and they untie the ropes holding your hands together, and drop you on your ass.
>"I expect you to start working at my office tomorrow."
>She smirks and walks away, shaking her flank, causing the stallions around to bloat.
>A trail of puke follows the mayor, and the crowd quickly disbands, leaving you with your marefriend, Twilight.
>A tumbleweed passes by the two of you and hits the stand, knocking it over.
>"Gee...this seems like quite the predicament you've got yourself into, sweetie."
>Without talking, you proceed to walk off in a random direction, contemplating whether or not it was smart of you to have magical-intercourse with your cute, purple p0ny.
>Even though the last part was what resulted in your punishment, it's not really your fault.
>Like, who could resists seeing an adorable purple unicorn shoot a red laser as she came mid-sex?
>You can't, that's for sure.
>"Hey...I don't really have anything to do, tomorrow, so I was thinking that maybe...I could help you with your community service?"
>She squees.
>It would be fun if she was with you...
>But it involves work.
>For no pay.
>And it's for a town that is not in good condition.
>But then again, it's Twili-
>Nope.
>You are not doing jack shit for this town unless it pays you.
>"Oh, it looks like we've made it to my tree house."
>She proceeds to open the door, and walks inside.
>"I'll see you tomorrow, Anon."
>The door closes, and you are now standing alone, outside of your mare's home.
>*Tink*
>A pebble bounces off of one of Twilight's windows.
>*Tink tink*
>More tiny rocks hit the shield, falling to the ground.
>*Tink tink tink*
Alright, who the hell is doing that?
>*KWESH*
>A boulder has flown through the glass, shattering it.
>A red beauty sticks her head out the window, looking down at you.
>"Anon! What are you doing?!"
>What to say, what to sa-
I-I don't know!
>"Well, stop it, please!"
Uh, alright?
>She sighs, and sinks back into her domain.
>"Psss...Anon..."
>Hm?
>*Shaky shake*
>You turn around, seeing a bush with blue eyes, with a streamer sticking out of it.
>Sigh.
Pinkie, I know it's you.
>"Darn it!"
>The disguise disintegrates, and reveals ponka/pinkie/the pink one.
>"I was sure that my disguise would work!"
>Put your hand on her head, and give her a couple of pats.
>"Hehe, I knew you'd like it!"
>She moves away from you, bouncing in a circle.
>"I told you he would like it, Dashie!"
>What? Rainbow Dash is here?
>"Pinkie! Be quiet, or you'll get everyone's attention!"
>Ponka ponk stops bouncing, and her smile fades away.
>"Ok..."
>Looking up, you see RD on top of a black cloud.
>She brings herself down to the two of you, slowly pushing her cloud forward.
>"Meet us at my place, Anon. We have some things to discuss..."
>In the blink of the eye, the two mares disappear, leaving no trace behind.
>Minus the dust from the deceased bush, of cours-
>"Oops, missed a spot."
>*ZORM*
>Pank vacuums her mess up, and bounces off.
>Since you were supposed to talk with them, you decide to follow her instead of taking a more convoluted route to Rainbow's cloud ho-
>Wait.
>You can't walk on clouds.
>Eh, maybe she won't notice.
>...
>"What do you mean, you can't get into my house?!"
Look, Dash, I'm not a Pegasus, meaning I can't interact with clouds the same way you can. Also, isn't Pinkie incapable of walking on clouds, too?
>"He does have a point, Dashie."
>"Ugh, fine. We'll talk about the plan on the ground."
>A wind blows through your hair, and the sounds of bounces start to get close to you.
>"This is going to be so much fun!"
>"Pinkie! You're going to attract attention if you keep talking so loudly!"
>"Oops! Sorry!"
>"Anyways..."
>Rainbow locks her eyes onto you.
>"...I hear you're in need of money, Anon."
>Really? She's acting like this is a secret?
Obviously, I do. It was freaking announced that I would need a large some of bits to fix the town up. I was tied up, for fucks sakes!
>"Alright, alright, calm down! I was just going to ask you something."
>She flies up to your face, hooves behind her back.
>"Do you know how to use this?"
>Her hooves dig into her skin-pockets, and pull out...
>A pink gun.
>Since you know jack shit about guns, all you can say to describe it is that it is an L shape, and has a backwards C-shaped trigger.
>"Anon?"
>Where would a rainbow maned p0ny get something like this?
>"Anoooon..."
>They have magic and supersonic speed, so a gun would be redundant, considering the fact they are all stronger than it.
>"Anon! *Wham*"
>Something hits you in the face, and you fall to the floor.
Ow...
>When you pull your hand away from your face, you see a pink liquid on your fingers.
>The paint that was used for that thing fucking sucks.
>"Now that I have your attention...do you know how to use this? And answer me for once, damn it."
>Without looking, you nod.
>Guns just require the pull of the trigger, right?
>It shouldn't be THAT bad, regardless of whatever you're using it for.
>"Alright, now, I'm going to need you to use this on a little thing I've got planned for tomorrow...and it involves..."
>Pinkie pulls out some drums and repeatedly hits them with some twigs.
>"...robbing a bank."
>Face, meet palm.
>RD just scratches her head in confusion.
>"Um, what?"
>Sighing, you get up, looking down at the mare.
Rainbow, do you really think you could take on a whole building, take out the guards, and escape with the money without any injuries?
>"Yep! Sounds easier than I thought, now that you said the plan out loud. Also, how did you know it? I never said it once."
>Roll your eyes.
Lucky guess. And I'm not going to help you out.
>As you get up, a blue hoof attaches itself to your arm.
>"Wait, you aren't coming with me and Pinkie?"
>Shake your head.
Nope. It sounds stupid and will end badly.
>"But Nonny..."
>Pinkie comes out of your hair, staring you in the face.
No.
>Look at her with no emotion as tears start to develop from her eyes.
>"Pleeeeeeease?"
>Grab the Curly-haired p0ne, put her down, and proceed to walk away.
>"But Anon! How will you get the money if you don't help?"
>Your walk stops, and you stand still, listening.
>Dash smirks, realizing she might be able convince you to join her cause.
>"Without the heist, you'll be spending a ton if time cleaning...doing paperwork...reading to learn...and many other boring things..."
>The gun flies past your face, landing in the grass.
>"You know you want to. Just take it, and we'll be ready to go."
>Time to contemplate your deci-
>"It'll be really fun, Nonny!"
>Oh, fuck it.
>Life's been too boring in this town.
>Maybe a heist gone wrong could spice things up...
>You walk towards the gun, pick it up, do a couple spins with it, and turn, grinning at the probably-gay p0ny.
Count me in.
>...
>The wheels of the train squeak as they come to a stop, meaning that you are now in Manehattan.
Alright, so what's the plan again?
>Rainbow pulls out a small container, polishing it.
>"We go in, take the money, take out some guards, and get out. Simple stuff."
>...
>Really?
>That's all she planned?
>No explosions? No hostages? Nothing else?
Ok then...
>You look at the gun in your hand, wondering why only you're the only member of the heist with one.
>It's rather light for a weapon of this strength.
>Someone could've put this in your back pocket and you would've never noticed.
>There's also a small whooshing sound that enters your ear when you shake the weapon.
>Wait, guns aren't supposed to be filled with liquids.
>You lean towards a window, aiming the gun away from the others.
>Slowly squeeze the trigger and...
>*Bloop*
>A bubble comes out, popping a second later.
>A Pegasus flies at the window, pops it, and hits the side of the train.
>OK...
Dash...why am I holding a bubble gun?
>"Hm?"
>She looks at you, head tilted.
>Raise the gun so she knows what you're talking about.
The gun. Why is it that the gun you gave me shoots bubbles?
>A question mark rises above her head as she continues to stare at you.
>"Pinkie, pull that thing out of my mane."
>She does so and throws the visual effect out the window, hitting a stallion in the head.
>"Anyway...Anon, that's how guns are designed here, duh."
>What?
But how would that hurt anyone? At worst, anyone hit by this thing would be mad that their clothes are wet.
>There are some footsteps, and a stallion in blue clothes and a hat-with-a-flat-top.
>"Uh, sir and Madams? Why are you still here? The train came to a stop 15 minutes ag-OH CRAP, YOU HAVE A GUN!"
>He sprints away, screaming random shit about water and dicks.
...Let's just get this shit started before more dumb stuff happens.
>...
Oh...just like that, Twilight...
>You are currently masturbating in the bank's bathroom, waiting for Rainbow to start the heist.
>Private Private starts to throb really fast, signaling that your going to climax in a few mo-
>*Splat*
>-ments.
>Oh well.
>"EVERYPONY, GET DOWN, SHUT UP, AND GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR MONEY!"
>Time to move.
>You zip your pants back up, put a skiing mask, and walk out, holding your toy.
What she said!
>The p0nies stare at you, legs shaking and eyes wide open.
>Even the guards are just standing their with their eyes open too.
>"Sir, we'll open the vault if you don't shoot anyone with that machine. Just please don't hurt anyone."
>Ok, why is everyone afraid of a fucking bubble gun?
>Sigh.
>Just take advantage of it, Anon.
Alright, I won't hurt any of you. Just let us take the money, and we'll be of-
>*Kssh*
>The windows break, and there are popping noises, covering the area in smoke.
>"Oh, what the heck!"
>You grab the closest guard, wrapping your arms around him so that you have a hu-p0ny shield.
>Oddly enough, your arms squeeze into the poor fellow, despite the fact you weren't trying to choke him.
>If he isn't dead by now, this has gotta suck.
>The smoke clears, revealing ten random p0nes in black suits.
>One of them walks up to your queer leader, staring her in the eye.
>"Why are you here?! We were planning on robbing this place since a month ago!"
>Dashie slaps the mare, and pulls out her bag.
>"Well, my group got here first, and we're going to be the ones walking away with the money, right Anon?"
Uh, sure, I guess?
>*BBWWDSGSSH*
>The ground starts rumbling, knocking the civilians to the floor.
>"Wh-What's h-h-happening..."
>"Hey Dashie!"
>Pinkie pops out from a plant in the corner, wearing a clown's mask.
>"What do you think of my surprise?"
>You look up, noticing that there is a hole in the ceiling, bits and pieces are crumbling, there is blood everywhere, and smoke is coming out of a pink cannon the size of the marshmallow creatures.
>Also, streamers are sticking to the waxed floor for some reason.
>"This is the police! Put your hooves up, your weapons down, and give up before anyp0ny gets hurt!"
>Huh, didn't think they'd show up THAT quickly.
>"Anon! Use your gun and buy us some time while me and Pinkie get the money!"
>There is a small explosion, and the two huggable p0nes run through it, leaving you with the other group of robbers.
>Wait.
>It's one versus ten.
>Along with dozens of cops that are ready to arrest all of you.
>...
>FUCK.
>The biggest one walks up to you, chuckling.
>"Rainbow Dash really thinks this wimp can beat us? I gotta tell her she's really good at comedy when she comes back."
>They all smile, and slowly walk towards you.
>*Step...step...step...*
>You raise your arm, aiming the gun at the biggest one.
>"Oh, what do you think you're going to do with that puny toy? Shoot me?"
>It probably won't do jack shit, but yeah, you're going to shoot him with soap.
>With a quick squeeze of the trigger, bubbles fly out of the gun and do noth-
>"OOO, A BUBBLE!"
>The steroid user focuses his attention on the floating soap-water, and follows it around.
>The bubble directs itself through the whole in the building, and your opponent follows.
>"Almost there..."
>He sticks his hoof out, and pops the little thing.
>"I GOT I-"
>"GET HIM!"
>A barrage of cops jump on top of the guy, tying him to the ground.
>"We got him!"
>And now it's just you versus nine of them.
>Which is still a pretty bad predicament.
>Shoot another bubble.
>"Ooo, a bubble!"
>A squeaky filly in black bounces towards it.
>Shoot another one.
>"Ooo, another bubble!"
>Continue to shoot the gun until it brings the robber into the streets.
>"Come back here, little bubble! I want to pet you!"
>Watch as all of the police d'aw at the sight of a child following bubbles.
>Maybe you could escape during thi-
>*HONK*
>*Splat*
>The little filly gets hit by a truck, splattering its guts all over the place, and her head flies back inside, revealing a decapitated Sweetie Belle.
>That's not going to be easy to explain to Rarity.
>Anyway, now it's eight versus one.
>And since the gun seems to have an effect on everyone you've used it on...
>"Take the gun before he uses he again!"
>Bring the gun up to the air, and hold onto the trigger, causing dozens of small spheres to fly around the bank.
>It stops all but one of the robbers, who is blocking their eyes so that you can't distract them.
>"If I can't see it, then it won't affect me-ooph!"
>The retard slams into a wall and falls over, passing out.
>So it's now seven versus one.
>This...might actually be pretty easy.
>Also, what the hell is taking Dash and Pinkie so long?
>"Don't worry, Nonny! We're almost done!"
>Wat.
>You look back at your opponents, and see that they're still following the weightless balls.
>Fire the gun even more so that everyone will be distra-
>Wait.
>Bubbles aren't coming out of the gun.
>Look down at the weapon, and-
>Wow, that's a big bubble.
>It keeps growing and growing and growing, eventually taking up the space of the room.
>Everyone stops popping the small ones and stares at your creation.
>"Wow...that's...beautiful..."
>"I want to pop it!"
>"NO!"
>The fools jump on top of their own member, covering his mouth and tying him up.
>"If you even attempt to destroy this glorious thing, I will end you."
>The mare gets off of him, and wipes the dust off of her clothes.
>She turns and faces you, smirking.
>"So...is that you're only trick? Shooting bubbles at us?"
>A headband is thrown in the air and it lands perfectly on her head, covering her eyes.
>"Unlike these morons, I've been trained to fight without using my eyes."
>Nervously raise the pistol, assuming she's bluffing.
>Pull the trigger an-
>*Click*
Oh, son of a bi-
>*WHAM*
>A hoof meets your stomach, sending you to the ground.
F-Fuck...
>Shit...you might actually be in trouble...
>Your skilled opponent walks up to the gun, and kicks it into the crowd of cops.
>"Shit, that's a gun!"
>They all scramble away, and a filly walks up to the thing, looking at it with her head tilted.
>*HONK*
>...And she got hit by a truck.
>And the gun was smashed.
>And your tummy hurts.
>Hooray.
>"Was that really all it takes to knock you down? Pathetic."
>You get up, legs shaking, and look at the mare.
>She has taken her mask off, revealing a golden mane, flowing in the wind.
>Eh, she's a 5/10 would have a quickie with.
>Maybe a 6/10 would attempt to satisfy her, but only on a good day.
>"Come on, I thought minotaurs were supposed to be strong..."
>One of her minions bumps into her, and she does a 181 degree turn and knocks her own partner out.
>"Watch where you're going, dumbass!"
>After wiping the nonexistent blood off of your stomach, you raise your arms, ready to "fight".
>Since all the experience you've had in combat was pulling the hair of your crush when you were seven...
>...This is going to be difficult.
>Crack your knuckles in an attempt to seem tough.
>She does a 360 with her head, and you can hear every crack, every creek, and every squeak.
>Feel your stomach expand a little, then goes back to its regular size, making gargling noises.
>Alright, time to do this.
>You walk up to the mare, palms are sweaty.
>Knee's weak, arms are heavy.
>Blah blah mom's spaghetti.
>Alright, now that that joke is out of the way...
>*BONK*
AHHHHHH!
>*Bwoosh*
>You crash into a wall, breaking it into millions of pieces the size of your cock.
>...
>Let's not reveal how big/small Anon's cock is.
>He wouldn't like that, would he?
Wh-What the hell...
>A hoof wraps itself around your neck, putting you in a headlock.
>"Honestly, this is starting to get really sad."
>With a quick pull of the mask, your green face is revealed to your combatant.
>The foe's eyes enlarge to the size of her face when she realizes how...special you look.
>"Huh...didn't think Minotaurs could have question marks on their faces...and I expected you to have eyes, ears, a mouth, a nose, and all that other crap that a normal creature would have. Also, why are you green?"
L-Let me go, bi- *coughs* bitch...
>Feel her grip tighten up, causing you to gasp in desperation.
>"I'm not even going to give you a chance to escape, faggot. You're going to die, here and now!"
>"Hey, Anon! We got all of the money!"
>There is another explosion, with rocks and streamers flying all over the place, smacking the distracted robbers and causing your challenger to release you.
Thanks gu-OW!
>A piece of the fortification had ended up slamming into your left arm, leaving a trail of blood oozing to the floor.
Shit...
>You lower your right arm to the ground, grabbing one of the party papers, wrapping it around your injury.
>It won't really do jack shit, but hopefully it should stop the bleeding, even if by only a small portion.
>"Hey, bubbles!"
>Pinkie drops her bag of cash and bounces around, popping every floating circle in her presence.
>"Pop...pop...pop, pop, pop!"
>With quick reflexes, you drop down and grab the bag with your left arm, and grab Pinkie with your right.
>Both are surprisingly light, despite the fact that the bag is filled to the brim with money and Pinkie is...well, a p0ny.
>You tighten your grip on Pinkie in the hopes that it will prevent her from messing around.
>Your arm ends up sinking into her pillow-like body, compressing her body.
>"Oh, Nonny, if you wanted a hug, you should have just asked!"
>One squee sound later, Pinkie had escaped your grasp, wrapping herself all over your back.
>"Even though you would always get mad when somep0ny touched you, I knew that deep down, you wanted to feel the warmth and kindness of hooves around your body!"
>Ignoring the feeling of fur getting on your clothes, you look towards the breach in the wall, waiting for Dash.
>What the hell's taking her so long...
>A light-blue hoof comes out of the hole, revealing a bruised and scratched up rainbow p0ne.
>"D-Don't worry, guys...I'm still alri-"
>Her eyes had changed from pupils and other things to small hearts as she stars at the flying orbs in awe.
>"Woah...there's so many bubbles..."
>After you drop the bag to the ground, you raise your left hand, bringing it up to the air.
>"Isn't this cool, An-ON!"
>One bitchslap was all it took to bring her back to normal.
>"Why the hell did you do that?!"
>Tie her money bag to her back, and look around, trying to find a viable escape route.
>Nothing seems like it could work.
>The front door?
>There's dozens of cops outside, waiting to arrest you.
>The windows?
>Well, all of the good ones are on the third floor, so that won't work.
>Have RD fly the three of you out of here?
>It'd be impossible for her to carry you and Pinkie all the way home.
>Hell, she wouldn't even be able to make it to the train station while making sure the two of you were on her back.
>"TOSSING SMOKE GRENADES!"
>A window shatters, and a clear bottle filled with white smoke and a timer enters the area.
>It says it's going to explode in 3...2...1...
>*Pomf*
>"NOW!"
>The sounds of clopping fill up the room, except once it stops, nothing happens.
>"Uh, where is everyone?"
>"I'm right next to you, nimrod!"
>"I can't see anything!"
>In a matter of seconds, everything evolves into mindless shouting, and the three of you are standing still, listening in on everything.
>"Anon, let's get out of here while they're distracted."
>You nod and proceed to walk towards the exit.
>Ponky holds both yours and Dash's hands/hooves as she takes over, making all three of you bounce your way out.
>"Boing! Boing! Boing!"
>"Pinkie, let me go-hhmp!"
>The pink one puts her hoof in front of Rainbow's face, shutting her up.
>"Shush, Dashie. If you're too loud, they'll hear y-"
>Raise your finger, putting it in front of the other two.
Be quiet, guys.
>"Hey, did you guys hear that?"
>Fuck.
>Footsteps begin to get louder, and Pinkie freezes up.
Uh...no, I didn't hear anything.
>"Really? Huh, guess it just my head messing with me. Anyway, keep searching for them. I know at least one of them is still here."
>Wait, that cop thinks your one of them?
>Maybe you could use this to your advantage...
Hey, how long does the smoke last?
>"Five minutes. Why?"
>Five minutes?
>For a smoke-based weapon?
>...Really?
No reason...also, I see a tall creature right behind you.
>"What?! Where?!"
Don't turn around. It'll kill you if you make eye contact with it. It also hates it when you run away from it, screaming like a retard.
>The stallion screams and runs off in the opposite direction from you, going into the crowd that is looking for you.
>"Guys! Something's after me!"
>*Crash*
>"Guys! It got me!"
>Wait, what?
>*ROAR*
>Time to go.
>You grab the two mares, lifting them both with one arm each.
>"Hey! Let me down!"
>Ignoring her, you head for the front doo-
>*ROAR*
>*Bwoosh*
>You trip on your shoes, dropping the two p0nes.
>Which is actually a good thing, since a giant boulder just flew above your heads.
>Unfortunately, that same rock had just blocked off the front door.
>"Damn it! How the heck do we get out, now?"
>The smoke starts to clear, revealing that the creature is a manticore.
>"Nice kitty...don't kill m-AHHH!!"
>The monster has leaped on top of a stallion, ripping him to shreds.
>Blood spews around them, and sharp object slides towards you.
>It's white, and has a circular pattern around it.
>Poke it with a stick.
>There is a faint blue glow surrounding the object, causing it to spark.
>Damn.
>Better get out of here before you're next...
>You all start to tip toe towards the stairs, hoping that the beast won't see any of you.
>Step...step...step...
>Once you all make it to the stairs, you sigh gleefully.
>Sucks that anyone still down there is going to be killed by that thing, but you need the money, damn it!
Alright, how do we get out of here, now?
>Gay p0ne shrugs.
>"I have no idea. I just planned on this being a simple heist where we ran in, got everything, then ran out."
>There is a mild rumble, and a chunk of the second floor falls off.
Well, we better figure out a solution soon...it doesn't seem we have that much time before this place collapses on us...
>Rainbow spreads her blue wings, and rises into the air.
>"Can't I just fly away with the money?"
>Facepalm.
How the hell would me and Pinkie get out? Neither of us have wings.
>Her wings go back down, and she starts to scratch the back of her head.
>"I guess that's not going to work, then..."
>*ROAR*
Damn it, everyone go upstairs! We'll find an escape route once we sure that thing won't be able to chase us!
>Minutes feel like seconds as you all rush through each floor faster than the speed of light.
>A coffee cup flies past your face in slow-motion, with its cap falling off and landing on the floor after about a minute.
>Papers from random desks end up getting knocked into the air, hitting your face, though you are too fast to let it distract you.
>*Roar*
>Hey, it's actually starting to get quiete-
>*Splat*
>A bug has slammed into your check.
>*Splat splat splat*
>Now bugs have managed to hit you.
>Great.
>You're really going to need to take a shower after this.
>Once you reach the roof, another roar is heard, though it is very faint.
Alright...now that that...monstrosity is gone...how do we...get out of here?
>"Nonny!"
>Turn to the bouncing pink p0ne.
Yeah?
>"I have a parachute!"
>What?
Wait, you had one on you the whole time?
>"Yep!"
>She wraps it around her back, and walks backwards.
Um, Pinkie? Where are you going?
>"I'm going to jump!"
>Her body makes motor-like noises, and her legs moves in a spring-like motion.
Pinkie, what about me and Da-
>*Boing*
>The mare launches herself into the air, falls down towards the ground, almost getting to the point of setting herself on fire, and pulls the string, releasing a bunch of purple bedsheets.
>"Wheee..."
>You continue to stare at her until she sinks into a tree that ends up swallowing her and the parachute.
>"That was really fun!"
>*ZAP*
>The bag in your hand is replaced with confetti.
>Also, the paper for the cut is gone, and blood starts to drop out of it again.
Pinkie! Why did you do that?!
>"Don't worry, Nonny! I'll take the money to p0nyville for you guys!"
>After that, you don't hear another noise from her.
>And now it's just the two of you...
>"Hey Anon? Did you happen to see where Pinkie is? I think she took all of the money."
>Face, meet palm.
She just screamed about taking it all back to p0nyville, you deaf moron.
>Rainbow looks down for a couple seconds, then quickly extends her wings, bringing herself into the air.
>"Anon, get on!"
>Hm?
What?
>"Since Pinkie and the money are gone, that means that I won't need to lift a lot of fly, now get on so that we can leave this manticore feeding pit!"
>Nod and do a little jump, landing on blue p0ne's back.
>"Hold on tight, Anon!"
>Wind slaps you in the face as Rainbow Dash launches herself into the air.
>Your grip on her starts to get tighter as her speed increases, with your hands starting to sink into her marshmallow body.
>You get a facefull of Rainbow Dash's "happy" mane as the two of you finally start to get away from the depository.
>"Anon? Is it just me, or are you dumping water down my back?"
>What?
>Where the hell would you find a place to put water?
>Before you could ask yourself another question, a pain shoots up your left arm, causing to you moan.
>Sadly, not in a good way.
Argh...what the fuck...
>Something wet starts to brush against your crotch, and you look do-
>What the hell?
>There's blood all over your companion's back.
Rainbow...did you happen to get injured in the bank?
>"I got bruised, but nothing too serious. Why?"
Well, most of your back is red, and I KNOW that that isn't your natural fur color, so...
>She stops flying at looks up and down your body, then facepal-well, facehoofs.
>"Anon, the blood is coming from your arm."
>Huh?
>A mild tingling forces you to cover your left arm.
>Your fingers sink into a rather large spot of blood, and you look down to see that your friend is right.
>*ROA-*
>"Oh, shut up, you!"
>Wait...that sounds like the mare you "fought" earlier...
>"Boo."
HOLY SHIT!
>Scramble around on RD's back as the golden antagonist smirks at your pathetic reaction.
>The bitch is riding a fucking manticore.
>"Anon, stop moving! It's making it really hard to fly!"
>"Hello, Dashie."
>"Huh?"
>She stops and does a 180, then scratches her head in confusion.
>"I could have sworn that I heard something..."
>"I'm in front of you, dumbass."
>Dash does another turn, and her face turns red as soon as her rival enters her sight.
>"You!"
>Her wings flutter very quickly, and in seconds, the two of you are right next to the two enemies.
>"The money is ours! We got to the bank first, and stole all of it before you idiots even got close to us!"
>She rams the manticore, causing it to roar and swipes at her in retaliation.
>Your hand slips off of her back, and you end up slapping your adversary in the face as a result.
>"Ow!"
>You pull an ice bag out of your metaphoric ass, and hand it to her.
Sorry about tha-OW!
>A blue hoof slaps you in the face, leaving a red mark.
>The bag falls to the ground, splitting in half once it makes contact with the dirt.
>"Don't apologize to the enemy, Anon!"
>You roll your eyes in response.
>She could've just screamed at you instead of potentially giving you a concussion...
>"Destroy them, my pet!"
>It roars again, and rushes at you.
>Dash smirks, and does a loop-de-loop around the creature, leaving it dumbfounded.
>A question mark forms around its head as your ride slams it, knocking the two adversaries away.
>The golden mare jumps off of her stead, and disappears into the clouds.
>You pull on Dash's ears, causing her to remain stationary.
Rainbow, be careful, she went above us, and could slam into you at any time.
>"Oh, don't worry Anon. I know her every move, so this'll be easy."
>*Pomf*
>"RAINBOW DASH!"
>The scream came from behind.
>Turn your ride around in 180 degree turn, preparing to counter this rush.
>"Anon, jump off me and attack the manticore."
>Huh?
Wha-AHHHH!
>The bitch dashed too quickly while your hands weren't holding her, and you ended up flying off of her body.
>She's going to pay for that one day, damn it.
>The two thieves start flying all over the sky, pushing clouds at each other, using lighting clouds to strike lightning, pushing each other into buildings, etc.
>Would be an alright sight to see if you weren't still falling.
>Also, why the fuck are you still falling?
>You're only at a slightly higher point than the tallest building in town, for fucks sake!
>*Roar*
>Yay, that thing is still here.
>Might as well go into an armadillo shape because it's fun/that's what pussies do.
>You move your legs arms, as back inwards, turning you into a ball.
>It feels weird having the wind slap you're face every few seconds because of how you are now doing clockwise rolls.
>Any minute now, and you should end up hitting the creature...
>"Rawr?"
>It sounds confused.
>Time to strike.
>Well, actually, you can't control when you hit it, only how you hit it.
>This is SO going to hurt later.
AAAHHHHH!*Boom*
>You slam into it's head, causing it to spin out.
>Now that that's taking care of...
>How do you stop falling?
>Well, you have a furry arm object falling next to you, so maybe you could use that...but then again...
>What the hell is this object?
>It has points, and has a dark spot on it, so...
>It's gotta be one of the manticore's legs.
>One quick turn upwards is all it takes to confirm your suspicions.
>Didn't expect to end up being grabbed by the monster during this.
Huh...this is going to hurt both of us a lot, isn't it?
>"Rawr."
>You both close your eyes, awaiting the inevitable.
>*CRASH NOISE*
>...
>You wipe the sweat off of your face with a tower, and pour a cup of water to cool yourself down.
>Today sure is humid...
>And doing Anon's work for him wasn't an easy task, either...
>"Twilight!"
>You turn and see that Pinkie Pie has opened your front door, and is bouncing towards you with two bags of...bits?
>"Twilight! You'll never guess what me and Anon and Rainbow Dash did today!"
>Roll your eyes.
Let me guess, it had to do with getting bits?
>"Nope! It had to do with getting bi-wait a second, how did you know?!"
>Smirk.
Lucky guess. Anyway, how did you get it? And where are the others?
>Your fun-loving friend bounces around the room, holding in her breath.
>It gets to the point where her face looks like two giant spheres.
>She opens her mouth, and...
>"We robbed a bank!"
>What?!
What?! Why would you rob a bank?!
>"Because it was fun!"
But you could get into serious trouble for that! And where are the others?!
>"Oh, about that..."
>Sweat drips down her face, and she fakes a smile while scratching the back of her head with her hoof.
>"...I kinda...took the money and left them behind..."
>Your eye twitches.
>"Twilight?"
>Close your eyes and breath in and out so you don't lash out of Pinkie.
OK, so the others are probably going to get arrested, and Rainbow can get out because of how she abuses her "Element of Harmony" status, but Anon'll need a bail...how much money did you get in total?
>Your pink friend jumps on top of the bags, and uses them as pillows.
>"Hm...seems like...1000 bits. Why?"
>Smile.
>He needs at least 509 to pay the town back, and the cost for bail for a crime this big is about 450, so this amount of money is more than enough to pay both off.
Pinkie, come with me. I'm going to pay everything off in advance, and I want you to tell me the exact details of how everything happened as I walk there.
>"OK!"
>...
Arg...
>Your head throbs as you recover from the crash.
>Shit fucking hurts, man.
>Looking up at the sky, you can conclude that no time has passed, since the sun's position has not changed.
>Then again, the fucking goddess moves the sun, so it could be almost night time, and you wouldn't know it if she decided not to move the big star.
>Crinkling noises are produced as you get up from the floor of the roof.
>Wonder what that could be...
>*Ploop*
>Oh yeah, you still have that damn cut from earlier.
>And the manticore is passed out.
>The moment that damn thing wakes up, you're going to need a new casket for you shredded remains.
>"You're never going to defeat me, you bitch!"
>"I'll make you eat those words, cunt!"
>Huh, didn't expect them to still be clashing.
>Might as well buy popcorn and watch the spectacle.
>Getting something for the cut would also be pretty helpful.
>You walk towards the staircase and make your way to the first floor.
>Conveniently, you fell on the roof of a movie theater, which was empty because of the crime being right next to this building, so you grab a trash bag, empty it, and put a bunch of candy in it.
>You come back down a few minute later to pick up the popcorn and something for your cut, AKA your original intention.
>After a few minutes of trying to walk up the stairs without spilling everything, you see that both mares have scratches on each other, and they are huffing and puffing.
Did I really miss the fight? God damn it.
>*Rip*
>Might as well enjoy the last bit of this event while you can.
>You grab the popcorn and proceed to eat it, making loud obnoxious noises because it's fun.
>"R-Rawr?"
>Shit.
Uh...AHA!
>Grab the manticore's face, staring it in the eyes whilst faking the biggest smile you've ever made.
You are having a dream, my friend! Just close your eyes, smile, and change your dream to something about having sex with the fine members of your race, and you'll wake up in the morning feeling as fresh as a faggot!
>...
>It shrugs and lies back down.
>Good.
>That was close.
>*Ploop*
>What? But the cut was covered...
>*Sniff sniff*
>And the manticore is a blood thirsty monster.
>*Stomp*
>God.
>*Stomp*
>Fucking.
>*Stomp*
>Damn it.
>*ROAR*
>It leaps into the clouds, disappearing.
>Be careful, Anon...that bastard could come from any direction...
>You close your eyes, breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth.
>Just stay calm...that thing will makes ton of noise when it decides to launch itself at you...
>Open your ey-
OH SHIT!
>Drop to the floor, barely avoiding the beast's swipe.
>Look to your left arm to see if the bandage has opened up.
>There's a little bit of blood coming out from it, but not much else.
>There is a giant puddle of red juice on the roof because of how you weren't unconscious for so long, but that's irrelevant.
>All that matters is staying that son of a bitch before it kills you.
>"Rawr."
>Well, that was expected.
>Close your eyes, accepting swift death.
>*Whoosh*
>...
>Huh?
>You slowly open your eyes, and inspect your body.
>Nothing seems to be wrong.
>Even the cut on your arm has seemed to stop bleeding.
>Now...where the hell is that thing?
>*ROAR*
>A question mark appears over your head, and you turn around, seeing that the manticore is swiping at a red area, with bloodshot eyes.
>A grin forms on your face as you continue to stare at the event.
>If this creature's thirst for blood can blind it this well, then all you'd need to do was spread it all over the place...
>Once that happens, everything will be fine.
>For you, at least.
>The manticore will be driven crazy, RD and her rival might end up killing each other, and dozens of cops are dead from earlier.
>But at least you'll be fine.
>You, with caution, dip your hands into the pool of red paint and proceed to spread it all over the place.
>This needs to be perfect, Anon.
>Too slow, and the scent from your hand will attract him.
>Too fast, and it might end up spreading the blood too thinly, potentially creating a weak scent.
>Just keep going...almost there...perfect!
>Almost all of the areas on the roof are now red.
>The only non-red spot remaining is where you are standing, since anything that isn't red will not piss off your opponent.
>Hopefully.
>The wild animal turns, revealing its fully red eyes.
>*ROAR*
>He leaps up into the air, landing on a random part of the roof.
>You stifle a giggle as the fiend is now swiping its claws at the floor, scraping his claws up.
>He roars and does this again.
>And again.
>And again.
>If the bastard keeps this up, his claws will be so dull that it would feel like a feather if it connects with your body.
>"Just give up, Rainbow Dash. We both know that you're never going to beat me."
>Huffs and puffs are heard from your partner as she struggles to talk.
>"Wh-What...makes you...think that?"
>Ms. Antagonist chuckles and flies closer to the blue p0ny.
>"Face it, I have always been better  than you at everything. Whether it be getting into relationships, playing hoofball, or sucking di...I think you get the point."
>*TOO MANY ROARS*
>The monstrosity leaps into the air, eyes still red.
>What the hell is it going...
>It starts falling down to the ground, wings closed.
>The fuck?
>*Splat*
>D-Did it just kill itself?
>You look over the rooftop, seeing a giant red spot on the city grounds.
>Damn.
>That was not planned.
>"Just look at the rooftop where our minions are, Dash. I'm sure Anon is dead right..."
>She turns and sees the blood everywhere, and realizes that her "pet" is gone.
>"...now."
>Her jaw all the way to the streets.
>"H-How did you kill my beast when you could barely put up with me?!"
>Smirk at her assumption.
>Good thing she didn't see what actually happened.
>"Whatever, I can take both of you on."
>Based on Dashie's beaten up body and your injured arm, she might not be wrong.
>Alright, what can you do to stop her before she kills the two of you?
>With the blood, you could fake your death.
>Though she already saw you, so that option is gone...
>What about throwing things at her?
>Right now, the items you can throw are some soda, candy, popcorn, your bandages, a bag of chips, and a random pillow you found.
>Better than nothing.
>"I always knew that in the end, I would be victorious over yo-OW! What the heck hit me?"
>She catches one of the containers, and crushes it with her hoof.
>"Candy?! Are you freaking kidding me?!"
>Throw the popcorn bag.
>"What the-*pomf*"
>Your pillow hit her directly in the face.
>Would that count as a headshot?
>Probably.
>"Alright, Dash, you get to live. I'm killing your friend first."
>Gulp.
>You raise the soda in your hand as the golden mare lands nearby you.
>"So, you thought throwing stupid shit at me would actually do something? Pathetic."
>Ignoring her comment, you throw the soda at her, and it spills all over her body.
>This results in her golden body shining in the sun.
>The shine is too much for you, so you cover your eyes.
>"You do realize that throwing useless objects at me won't actually do anything, right?"
>Yep, that was obvious from the start.
>It was still fun pissing off the immature fool, though.
>She puts her hoof on her clothes, and struggles to pull it on.
>"Holy crap, this is sticky..."
>Welp, guess this is it.
>Goodbye world.
>"Ugh, why did I step in this blood? It's getting over all of my freaking clothes..."
>Sigh. Again.
>This mare just HAS to delay the inevitable by caring about her appearance, doesn't she?
>Typical bitch...
>You notice that Dashie is slowly flapping her wings towards the roof.
>Seems like she's got a decent stealth attack that she's going to use.
>"Don't even try anything, Dash. If you do, I'll beat your friend up with your injured body."
>Yikes.
>Being killed by your own friend, even though they couldn't stop it?
>That'd sure be a cruel way to die.
>Blood drips from Dash's body as she passes out on a cloud, and it splashes on Blondie's hair.
>"Really? Now I'm going to have to fix my mane when I get home, damn it!"
>An evil grin appears on your face.
>All it would take to win this battle would be to throw your blood on her...
>Dip your hand into the blood spots, getting them all wet and "pretty".
>Once you finale have enough, you walk towards Rainbow's rival, producing evil laughs.
>She looks up at you, tilting her head.
>"Uh, what are you doing?"
>Ignoring her, you continue to walk.
>"Wh-What's that on your hooves?!"
>*Step...step...step...*
>She tries to move backwards, but unfortunately for her, she'll fall off of the building if she moves any futher back.
*Step...step...another step...another boring and useless step...*
>"Please, don't touch me with you d-dirty hands! I'll do anything!"
>Anything?
>The mare nods.
>Jesus Christ, she's a fucking diva.
>The threat of ruining her clothes was all it would take to bring her down?
>If only you'd known that earlier in the day.
>"Everyone! Attack!"
>What?
>*Pomf*
>Smoke fills up the area, reducing your field of view.
Are you kidding me?! This shit again?!
>"There he is, get him!"
Wha-AH!
>A dozen steroid-using stallions have jumped on top of your body, and are taping you up.
>Well...
>At least the money's safe.
>The biggest one of them tightens your tape, adding another layer on top of the previous one.
>His sheriff badge(which makes no sense for a cop in the city) shines in your face, blinding you.
>Once he finishes, he gets up and looks around.
>"Where are the other criminals?! I know that there were two mares fighting up here, but I wanted to see it in action before we arrested them, damn it!"
>*Insert girly-scream-coming-from-a-male-guard here*
>"Good, they're nearby. Based on the scream, it seems like they got Johnson, but he was too generic to care for, so it's not that bad.  Everyone be on the lookout. Both of them have been known to excel in stealth atta-EEP!"
>The deep-voiced police officer's scream start fading away as he disappears into the smoke.
>The other policemen just stand around without any alertness in their eyes, despite the fact that an enemy is killing them one by one.
>"So...what now?"
>"We keep looking for them, dumbass."
>"Oh."
>Geez, is everyone an idiot these days?
>*Snap*
>Wait, there aren't any trees up here.
>"Ooph!"
>One of the p0nes gets punched in the face and flies into the air.
>Since he doesn't have wings...
>That falls going to hurt.
>More police p0nies get knocked off of the building, each of them screaming words of fear, though one of them shouted as if this was a ride at an amusement park.
>"Wheee...*Splat*"
>The smoke clears, revealing...no one.
>You are literally the only person left on this room.
H-Hello?
>No cops, no Rainbow Dash, no golden antagonist...
>No one.
>It's just you, and you can't do jack shit because you were taped to this damn building.
Guys?
>You shake your arms in an attempt to break free, though it doesn't accomplish anything.
Can someone get up here and help me?!
>You sigh and lay your head on the cement.
>Well, guess your going to be here for a while...
>...
>"Everyone, head in now! And don't use the smokescreen! We've already seen how it killed everyone else, and I don't want the same to happen to us!"
>Huh?
>Policemen roll onto the roof, and hey, they actually have wings.
>Nice.
>"Uh, where did everyone go?"
>"Not sure, but based on the blood everywhere, I'd say there was a great battle, with our side losing."
>*Poke*
>"Well, let's scout the area and see if there's any evidence left behind. Maybe there might be a clue that could lead us to the robber's hideout.
>*Poke poke*
>"How would we do that? All of the blood could be from our own side! Wouldn't that make scanning the evidence useless."
>*Poke poke poke*
>Irritated, you look up at the cross-eyed cop that is poking your head.
Stop fucking touching me.
>"EEP! It can talk!"
>"Huh?"
>One of the bigger guys moves towards the two of you, scratching his head.
>"Did you say something, Derpy?"
>Really? The mentally-disabled p0ny is on the police force?
>"Th-The green rock! It can t-talk!"
>"What green rock? All I see is a green creature in a suit tapped to the roof."
>You sigh and awkwardly look up at the two.
Can you idiots just help me up? I've been stuck here for a while.
>They nod and Derpy drops down, biting the tape.
>"I'll get it open right away..."
*Rip*
>Finally
>You get up, stretching all of your muscles.
Thanks.
> Lift your arm to shake hands/hooves with the stallion.
>Before he finally raises his own hoof, he looks at your hand for a minute.
>"Hm...something about you is very familiar..."
>Shit.
>"One of the robbers had a green face and no facial features, like yoursel-wait a minute!"
>Nononononono!
>You were so close, damn it!
>*Insert sound of chains here*
>"You're going to jail, Minotaur."
> Fuck.
>...
>You draw a small line on the chart, keeping count on how many days it's been since you entered the big house.
>Total marks: A half of one.
>Earlier in the day, a purple stallion tried to commit shower rape on you, but you were able to get him to drop the soap, causing a storm of rapists convicts on his ass.
>Poor bastard.
>*Cling*
>The door to your cage opens up, and a guard walks in.
>"Ok, Anon, you're free to go."
>What?
Really? But why?
>"A friend of yours paid off your bail."
>Hm...
>Who would pay off a bail for a friend that robbed a bank?
>"Follow me and I'll safely lead you out."
>You nod and follow the worker.
>Could it have been Dashie?
>Doubt it.
>Pinkie?
>Eh, maybe.
>Twilight?
>"And here we are. Now, don't rob another bank, or else you'll be in here without anyway of getting out."
>Smirk and walk outside.
>Next time, you'll do the planning, and you don't plan on getting arrested again.
>*BONK*
>You fall to the floor with a pain on top of your head.
Arg...the hell was that?
>"That's what you get for doing something incredibly dimwitted. I mean, robbing a bank?! What were you thinking?!"
>You look up at the adorable mare, scratching your head.
First: OW! And second: It was for the money I needed to pay back the town, which Pinkie Pie ha-hey, where's Pinkie?
>Twilight smirks and walks off in a random direction.
>"Don't worry, I took actions ahead of time and paid back that debt after Pinkie came to me with the bag of money."
>Face, meet palm.
>You should've expected Pinkie to take the money to Twilight.
>It makes sense anyway, since she's basically the only competent p0ny out of everyone in town.
>*Shaky shake*
>A bag of bits falls to the ground.
>"It was pretty expensive, so that's all that was left after paying for your debt and bail."
>Empty the sack, finding 50 bits.
>Wow, this reward almost makes all of the trouble you went through worth it.
>Dash is going to pay for this.
Twilight, have you seen Rainbow Dash? I need to talk to her...
>Your marefriend shakes her head.
>"Sorry, I haven't seen her since the day before your simpleminded scheme. Now, I'll be on my way. You can find me at my treehouse if you need me."
>She walks away, making her tail sway from side to side.
>Bite your lip as your boner grows.
>Eh, killing Rainbow Dash can wait.
>...
>You wake up on top of a cloud, a short distance away from the bank.
What am I doing up here...
>You feel a body on top of your hoof, and try to raise it, only to get stopped by a golden body.
>Oh yeah, you were fighting your rival.
>And you won.
>As you push her off of the cloud, her body falls to the ground, making a splat sound.
>Now you won't have to deal with that bitch anymore.
>Nice.
>You scream as you try to flap your wings.
>Guess that cunt was able to hurt you, after all.
>Great...you can't fly, Pinkie's gone, and Anon's probably dead.
>Just fucking perfect...
>Wiggle your arms, hoping someone will see them.
Hello? Can anyone hear me?
>No response.
>You flip over and lie on your back, sighing.
>Guess you'll be stuck here for a while...
>The end.