Lyraquest - Not A Word: Part 1

>>1495333
>>1495213
>>1495342
>>1495365
>>1495369
"XYZZY!" You sneeze, interrupting what you were going to say. "Sure you don't want to stick around? It's cold outside..."

Lyra laughs as she replaces the hot water bottle on your head, reassuring you with a gentle pat. "Don't worry, Anon! I've put the crockpot on; you should help yourself to some veggie stew. I highly suggest you look at the to-do list, if you're a good boy I can give you a little reward tonight."

You can do noting but sigh and pout as she throws on her "human-like" coat with pockets and leaves the house. Now, about that list...

NOON: RECEIVE DELIVERY - Probably another mail-order item for Lyra. This gives you time for one or two tasks before Derpy the mailmare shows up.
LAUNDRY
SEASON CROCKPOT - Lyra emphasized this before parting. Hmm.
transCendenZ DAILIES - transCendenZ is the premiere cross-realm MMO with a player base spanning both Earth and Equestria; naturally, Lyra games pretty hard. If she wants you to take care of her daily quests, that means she won't be back 'til late.
COCK PUSHUPS - ...what?
FIND MY PHONE - You remember misplacing Lyra's phone after a sex marathon the other week. You'd think a small town like Ponyville wouldn't need it, but Lyra's new job teaching music makes her a pony in demand.
FEED PAPA SMURF - Lyra's pet parrot.

Speaking of which, you can hear the sound of rough, animalistic fucking coming from the kitchen. That's Papa Smurf, playing back a perfect audio recording of said sex marathon. Let's hope you don't come to regret that decision.

...

Votes:
[0-2] 2 for cock
[3-5] 2 for crock
[6-8] 2 for laundry
[9] ???

Good to see your priorities are straight. My post number determines which you do.

...

>>1495851
>cock pushups
With much fatigue and a reluctant shedding of your warm blanket, you roll off the couch and get belly down on the floor, willing your cock to raise you off the ground. While you're down there, you can see a faint glint under the couch. Reaching over, you pull out Lyra's phone!

>Lyra's phone get

It's lost all battery charge, naturally. You pocket it and try to get a cock pushup going.

[Post number determines success]
[CONT'D]

...

>>1495982
You grunt and push and thrust your hips awkwardly but only succeed at maybe getting a rug burn on your cheek. Even the reminders of Lyra's limitless libido (courtesy of Papa Smurf) fail to get you anywhere past a centimeter off the ground.

Well, let's step into the kitchen and see what's in the soup:

Lyra's laid out two notecards next to the crockpot. Each one is attached to a small baggy with a mixture of herbs in it. Apparently these are tinctures from Zecora: one is a cure for the common cold, and one is a booster for sexual stamina. Zecora herself has added an advisory that these are not to be mixed under any circumstances.

Apart from the smell of delicious stew, Papa Smurf's squawking is getting mighty unbearable.

[SOUP or SMURF?]

...

>>1496088
If you vote for soup, please specify your action: add which seasoning, or taste it as it is, whatever.

...

Common sense (and the common cold) wins out and you hurriedly dump the cure into the soup. The stew glows a pleasant orange and you can't wait to ladle yourself a cup. One sip and your sinuses clear up quite nicely, though it does little for the fatigue.

With a mischievous grin on your face, you take one of Papa Smurf's crackers and dip it in the soup before feeding it to him. He scarfs it down eagerly and seems to ponder the flavor. You can hear the hiss of steam as he starts to redden.

And then he bursts into flames and latches onto your head, screeching incoherently and flapping about.

You flee into the living room, the Level 30 Elite Flaming Papa Smurf giving chase. You hear the doorbell ring, and Derpy pokes her head through the front door.

"Ooh! Are you playing Clock Tower?"

[WAT DO?]

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>>1496451
You boldly throw your old blanket over Papa Smurf and roll him around for a bit. The smoking, coughing bird (mostly unharmed) falls out and stumbles back to the kitchen. Your exasperation fails to register in Derpy's crooked gaze.

"You're Lyra's roommate, right? Is she here?"

You shake your head.

"That's okay, you can sign for her! Right here, and here, and here..." You fill out the form and claim Lyra's package. Derpy seems to be distracted by the scent from the kitchen. "Oh, that smells good. Is that firebloom? Stuff can set you on fire if you're not careful, but it warms you up on a cold day like this."

You explain it was part of a cold cure.

"Oh! Oh! Can I have some? My thermos emptied out and I need something for my lunch break. Speaking of, you mind if I take my break here?"

[wat do]

...

>>1497172
You mention you hadn't really planned much for Hearth's Warming Eve aside from going to see the traditional historical play at Town Hall and then getting shitfaced at Sugar Cube Corner to ring in the winter solstice. You know Lyra's going to be spending quality time with Bonbon.

During all this, you take a look at the AEIOU's letter to you.

Basically, the AEIOU is an independent society of human and pony luminaries who study interspecies relations, specifically the implications of... well. Let's just say immigrants like you are of particular import to them.

Your mission, should you accept it, is to write back to the AEIOU about your ponyfucking exploits. This is simply a behavioral survey and requires some personal information for demographics, but will in no way be traceable back to you. But if you're not fucking ponies, that's fine, too. You just won't get this awesome monetary incentive and a cool gold silk lined hat for participating.

Derpy has your attention again. "You know, Dinky's going to be in this year's play! You should root for her, she's going to play Clover the Cleaver."

It's common knowledge that Derpy is a single supermom, never passing up a chance to gush over her daughter. You smile and nod politely.

Clock's a-ticking, do you want to keep doing mail or get the last of your chores done? Derpy has mail to deliver as well.

[WAT DO]

...

>>1497529
>>1497535
>>1497564
>>1497664
>AEIOU survey invite get
You decide to fill out the survey at a later time. For now, though, you thank Derpy for—XYZZY—keeping you company, and tell her she should take it easy in the cold weather. You promise to attend the show, fill up her thermos, and head upstairs to gather laundry.

You realize Lyra hasn't changed her bedsheets in a bit "because they still smell like you". Well, that's one thing that's the same between human women and Equestrian mares. Into the hamper they go. And despite your desperate searching, you cannot for the life of you find Lyra's phone charger. She's almost as much of a slob as you are. Must be why you hit it off so well.

You do, however, find one of your old gloves she had "procured" for "personal study." It's caked in "unicorn dust," known for its energizing properties when sprinkled on electronics.

>unicorn dust covered glove get

[One more choice: launder the glove, or use it to charge Lyra's phone?]

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>>1497752
>>1497753
>>1497760
>>1497782
The first time you did this, it was really weird. Then again, she was sitting on your face at the time.

You smell Lyra's unicorn dust. Even after drying, it's still potent and smells of double mint chocolate chip ice cream. Tastes like it, too. But enough of that, you've got a phone to charge.

>equip unicorn dust covered glove

You grab Lyra's phone out of your pocket, hold it in your gloved hand and start to vigorously squeeze and shake it, loosening dust motes from the glove as they rub off onto the phone's plastic and metal surface. After a minute of furious exertion, the phone sparks to life with a full battery (and a fresh coat of unicorn dust).

>Lyra's dusty phone get

The glove is inert, so you toss it into the hamper. Derpy left while you were upstairs, so you continue into the basement to start a load of laundry. After that, it's game time. You plop back into the couch with a new blanket and pick up the controller, ready to boot up transCendenZ.

Lyra has three characters on her account (all human, naturally): the psychic girl Mai, battle angel Alita, and wind rider Naushi. Dailies are account-based, so you only need to do them on one character.

[CHOOSE YOUR CHARACTER]

>>1498033
Or you could, you know, check her phone for messages.

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>>1498151
I'm glad you're so upstanding, anon.

>>1498059
>>1498137
You log in as Alita, the human battle angel, and pipe into the world of transCendenZ. You are immediately bombarded with /tells and /guild chatter, all aimed at Lyra.

Beyond the crowded chat window, you can see the crystal spires of a world alien to both human and pony, and considering the magic and such you've seen in Equestria, you understand that's quite a feat. Alita currently stands on a terrace overlooking the radiant city of Aldebaran.

[WAT DO]

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>>1498583
>>1498589
>>1498586
>Alita: no
>Kkeen: im seeing this one girl
>Alita: I'm just here to do dailies
>Alita: No time to chat, sorry
>Kkeen: human chicks dig the Trottingham accent i dont get it
>Kkeen: but i am covered in bitches
>Kkeen: u need to get on the ride

This guy just won't. shut. up. He's probably somepony Lyra met at an anthrocon, and obviously as much of an anthrophile as she is, if not moreso. You finish up your dailies while actively ignoring (not /ignoring, that'd get Lyra in trouble) Kkeen and make sure to park Alita back in her stasis spring high up in Aldebaran.

The front door to the house suddenly opens.

"Oh, hi, Anon! Sorry to bother you." Bonbon smiles and waves hello. "Lyra said you were home sick, but you don't actually look so bad."

"Uh, what are you doing here? Where's Lyra?"

"She caught up with some of the foals who are in the Hearth's Warming play and now she's going to give them some impromptu music lessons. She sent me here to fetch her lyre harp. Got my own keys." Bonbon jiggles her saddlebag a little, loosing the tell-tale clink of metal. "Mm, is that firebloom in the stew? And... double mint chocolate chip ice cream? Haha, you've been spoiling yourself while Lyra's out, haven't you? Well, I'll let you get back to your game."

She doesn't seem to suspect anything as she heads upstairs.

...

>>1498907
>>1498956
>>1498971
>Kkeen: u wana kno how a humangina works lyra
>Kkeen: lyra come oooono

The AEIOU survey invite is safely stowed away in your pajama pockets, as is the "dusty" phone that smells of ice cream.

>Kkeen: lyra pls my friends think im weird i gotta tell sum1
>Kkeen: ur my anthbro

Oh dear god you didn't log off it's a good thing Bonbon didn't see.

...

>>1499142
>Alita: busy, gotta go
>Kkeen: ok
>Kkeen: i got pics up chek em out later

You close out transCendenZ and go upstairs to get dressed. All things considered, that stew has really done wonders for your health. Your knees still feel a little wobbly as you put on your pants, though.

You blow your nose as you pass Lyra's room to see Bonbon flipping a table. She buries her front end into a pile of junk, flank and tail raised up in the air as she rummages. "Where IS that thing? Ugh, she's such a slob. First rule when we move in together, she does all the cleaning up..." She continues muttering to herself before spotting you in the doorway. "Uh, could you help?"

...

>>1499297
>>1499336
Being the Smart Cookie you are, you think you should cover your room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room...

"You know what, just stay right here, I'll go search the house for it. Relax and warm up, okay?"

"Yeah, I'll probably just tidy up here for now." Bonbon sighs in relief and frees herself from the wreckage. "How does she live like this?"

Heh, she should see your room. Speaking of, which should you check first? Choices are:

YOUR ROOM
BATHROOM
KITCHEN
LIVING ROOM

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>>1499451
>>1499447
>>1499441
>>1499428
Since you're already upstairs, it's a good idea to check the closest rooms. You make sure to lock your room door and then head to the bathroom.

The bathroom is a little more luxurious than you think it has rights to be, but apparently ponies don't skimp on bathrooms. The clawed tub is enough to fit two people comfortably... or one person and one pony. You know; you tried. Lyra played a little tune for you, her mane still wrapped about her in wet streaks.

But apart from that, the bathroom is a really open space it'd be difficult to lose a lyre in. And you certainly wouldn't have stashed it in the cabinets here.

As you pass Lyra's room on your way downstairs, Bonbon asks you a question, "Hey, Anon. You having trouble settling in?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just been a while since you moved in. You don't have a job or your own place yet, either." She meets you in the doorway. "If you need help with that, just ask. I want to help Lyra get you settled into Ponyville."

[HOW RESPOND]

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>>1499673
>>1499692
>>1499443
>>1499504
>>1499508
"For everything Lyra's done? Yeah, it'd be nice if I could pay her back, or at least pay rent. What did you—XYZZY—have in mind?" You blow your nose.

"Well, you could help out at my sweets shop, for one? I mean, it's nothing big, you'd just be staffing the counter and making deliveries." Bonbon has to stop and think about this. "It's not like I've been asking around, myself. It's small, but it'll be a start."

"That'd be awesome." You don't hesitate to accept a chance to explore the depths of Bonbon's Candy Bag. "Hey, I think I know where her lyre is."

You go back to your room and unlock the door, recalling that Lyra had played you a song. Thankfully, no unicorn dust on it. You return to Bonbon in the hallway.

"Lyra played me a lullaby when I got sick."

"Isn't she the best?"

"Yeah." You nod in agreement and follow Bonbon downstairs, lyre in your arms. As you approach the front door, you tell Bonbon you'll walk with her across town since you're feeling much better. Of course, you take your own full thermos of cold cure before heading out.

>equipped snow pants, boots, and parka
>Lyra's lyre get
>thermos of cold-cure get

[CONT'D]

...

>>1499883
Ponyville is a marvelous place in the winter, the usual stillness of fresh snow punctured by the laughter of foals and the continuous bustle of busy hooves. Despite a renewed pounding in your head (possibly your conscience) the exercise is doing you some good.

Lyra's voice is unmistakable even at a distance. You see her gathered with a makeshift chorus of foals in the town circle, their painfully high voices reciting the words to the traditional Heart Carol.

>We are a circle of pony friends
>A circle of friends we'll be to the very end

"Oh, hey Bonbon—and Anon! What are you doing out here?"

You greet Lyra and hand over the lyre, relaying the news about Bonbon's job offer to you. Lyra is genuinely pleased and hugs each of you in turn before getting back to teaching the foals. A few of them seem to withdraw at your bipedal presence.

As you sit on a nearby bench and listen to the music, you spot the post office not too far away. Your hand crinkles the AEIOU survey invite in your pocket, as well as the dusty phone.

[where do we go from here]

...

>>1500069
I should clarify: the AEIOU survey invite was addressed to you specifically and mentioned nothing about Lyra. You don't really need her help to fill it out, apart from the *ahem* obvious.

>>1500066
And as is pointed out here, you should have a legit reason to visit the post office. But then, an AEIOU survey is a legit reason, no?

...

>>1500052
>>1500065
>>1500066
As you sit with Bonbon and listen to Lyra's music, you feel a powerful vibration in your pants.

>YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

The charming wails of The Who fill the town circle, frighten the foals, and somewhere a bird exploded. Lyra just about does a backflip as she rushes over to you and starts tearing at your coat.

"WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME YOU FOUND IT"

"LYRA STOP, LET ME GET IT OUT"

"GIVE IT TO ME ANON GIVE IT TO ME"

After much struggling and awesome guitar riffs, you're able to fetch Lyra's phone out for her. Her telekinetic unicorn powers hold it flush to her cheek as she answers the call, trotting off to have a little privacy.

You look over and Bonbon is making a scrunchy face as she tries not to laugh.

...

>>1500220
>>1500275
You can't help but laugh. At least Lyra has good taste in human music. When she gets back from the call, she apologizes to the foals, and thanks them for trying so hard with the Carol before dismissing the class.

"Sorry about that. I have, like, over nine thousand messages." Lyra puts her phone and lyre away into her saddlebag. "Shouldn't you get home before you get even sicker? I mean, it looks like the stew helped, but still."

"But if you're still feeling up for spending the day out, maybe we could drop you off at the Candy Bag. Lyra and I were headed out to Whitetail Road."

Go home or stay out?

(NOTICE: This is the last big choice for now. I'll wrap it up with the next update. Feel free to send in any freeform suggestions.)

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>>1500438
"Nah, I'll let you two get back to your day." You zip up your coat and wink at Lyra. "I still have to do -my- dailies."

On the way home, you spot Derpy zig-zagging just overhead. She waves as she passes, and you wave back.

Once back inside the house, you remember just how much warmer it is indoors! You still have some of that special stamina spice and figure it'd be a great pick-me-up for the remainder of the day, even without the soup.

You're taking it pure, so just a pinch should do... And even that much spikes your blood to such a level that your fever returns and you feel even worse than when you first got a cold. On top of that there is now a throbbing boner between your legs. Good job, hero.

You do your best to ignore it as you sit down to log into your own transCendenZ account. It's gonna be a long day.

[END PART 1]