partyhat problem

The party hat problem
(A short story by the notorious L.I.T)

The sun had just set upon the eastern lands, there was a small Squad of three whales roaming around minding their own business, the group consisted of two male whales and a lady-whale. The whales where roaming around looking for some food after a long day of maad EXP gainz when one of the whales found something never seen before in the wavey underwater world; it seemed to be a blue party hat. The proclaimed "supreme leader" or the "Megawhale" of the whale squad automatically claimed the hat to be his own due to the old saying "finder keeps fam", although he himself didn't find it. as you could imagine there was much debate about who's the party hat actually was, one of the smaller yet fiercer whales had something rather sinister planned, little did the other whales know that he had brought a dragon dagger from a rather shady looking pufferfish that was also selling some strange bags of kelp that made all of the other puffer-fish rather relaxed and mellow.
As the alpha-whale was showing the lady-whale how he would so stylishly wear his partyhat, the shady-whale was about to deliver a hefty spec on the alpha-whale for his partyhat. as he was about to do so alpha-whale turned to him and gave him a look of despare as he said "y u du d1s 2 meh, w3 r frunds" shady-whale replied "fam, I was the who found the partyhat ting yeh yeh, now im going to take your phat and your girlting fam" just as shady-whale was about spec alpha-whale out, a clever crayfish called Lit had pinched the crown off the head of alpha-whale and swam into the unknown with it. the three whales had just let the treasured geepee's get stolen by a rather handsome crayfish. the three where in shock of the previous events and so arguments started to break out.
"ayo fam, I found that party hat ting you get me?" said shady-whale
"1 iz tha $upreme leader th0, 1 shud g3t de G33p33z cause 1z the b3st"
"any of you guys got snapchat ;)?" said the ladywhale as she went on to complain about her working days and how she cannot be arsed to work out anymore.
after much more debating and finflapping from the whales, alpha-whale made an executive call to turn on lootshare in hopes that when they eventually find the cunning crayfish they will get an equil split in the Phat after they decide to sell it to a land merchant. So the three whales went off looking for the crayfish and after a long time searching for the crayfish they had almost given up hope until a feint "ayo wargwan piffting gimmie yo bbm pin" was heard in the abyss. the three whale spent no time talking and pursued the sound to its source where the crayfish was sat with his partyhat and many other fine lady crayfish by a small cave entrance. caught off-guard by the mighty whales the crayfish and his gang where all flipflopped to death and the party hat returned to the rightful owners and the three whales got an event split of the phat.
this is why whales are the mightiest creature to inhabit the sea. they're cunning, agile and roll in squads so they can easily overcome all obstacles they encounter and without mentioning how freaking big they are.