Emma's Louisiana Style Chili

Emma's Louisiana Style Chili:

*Note: Emma has never been to Louisiana but hopes to one day for its amazing history, people, and of course food.

*Other note: Emma doesn't use measurements cause measurements are for nerds, Yankees, and residents of condos/suburban homes. I will put how much you're going to need of certain things but for the spice you taste it out like a chef is frickin meant to.

What you need:

-a jalapeno peppers
-a green bell pepper
-3 cloves of garlic
-package of soy meat crumble or 1/4 lb of ground beef (I'm vegetarian so there may be a conversion error here just FYI)
-can or a cob of corn
-3 large tomatoes, 2 mashed and 1 diced
-can of kidney beans [for you Kevin just sub with more flour]
-flour, really any kind but you get cool points if you use almond flour or masa flour
-butter or butter substitute
-canola, olive, or vegetable oil, don't really matter as long as it gets hot
-black pepper
-crab seasoning
-curry
-Worcestershire sauce
-Cayenne pepper powder

-a pan
-a pot
-a mixing spoon or flat spatula
-a ladel
-an appropriate Lousiana song mix with blues and ragtime and more blues and cajun folk and blues again and garage rock
-whiskey. not for the chili for ambiance. if you can't be around booze then a croc skull, stuffed squirrel, or creepy black and white picture of the bayou works

1. Place your whiskey or other depressing ornament safely out of reach of open flames but visible. Look at it to remind yourself the South ain't about regional pride or county fairs: it's about self-loathing, depression, and glorification of death.

2. When you feel the visceral pain of centuries in your veins, it's time to cook. Throw your oil and the minced garlic in.

3. While that's starting, mix a dash of black pepper, a dash of Worcestershire sauce, 2 dashes of cayenne, and a pinch of flour.

4. Once the oil in the pan is ready to go, chop up all the peppers and throw'em in. If you want it so spicy it hurts then don't remove the seeds from the jalapenos.

5. Next throw in the beef, your spice mix, and a slice of butter, just enough to help those spices move around and stick.

6. Turn the heat on that pan to low. Grab your pot.

7. Throw the tomatoes, corn, beans, a small handful of flour into the pot and put the heat on medium. Stir and begin to add in spices to taste in the following order: lots of cayenne, lots of crab seasoning, a little curry, and a little Worcestershire. The cayenne and crab make up your base flavor, and you use the other two to alter it to your specifications.

8. Once the pot's contents are boiling, lower the heat a little (like medium-low) and add the contents of the pan, mix and cover for 20 minutes.

9. Remove the lid (be careful it'll prob be hot) and stir. Lower the heat as low as you can without it turning off.

10. Now is the waiting game. Stir every 10-15 minutes and taste: once the flavor have stewed to your liking remove from heat and let sit for 15-20 minutes.

Share with friends cause we're all in this shit together. Emma's recipe is her own but inspiration came from the cooking and general character of her friend and mentor Ceyenne Doroshow, author of Cooking in Heels.