Letters to the Future #1 [Toriel]

LETTERS TO THE FUTURE
As the first year on the Surface comes to a close, everyone writes a letter to their future selves, regarding their thoughts, experiences, aspirations, hopes and dreams so far.
Ao3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7992136/chapters/18291652

[TORIEL]

Greetings.

I am the Toriel of pies long baked.

I have come to tell you that you really should have started adding a little more vanilla, ages ago.

I am not sure if this is what Alphys had in mind when she suggested preserving a letter for our future selves, but it is something I wish I had tried earlier. It really brings out the flavors just a little bit more and the test runs have been a resounding success as well. At this rate, I might as well give in to the brothers' suggestion and move from teaching to selling pies.

Of course, I could never really do that.

It has been an interesting year, to say the least. I do not think any of us were really prepared for what life on the Surface would be like. Reuniting with humanity, moving out of the Underground and into our new homes, opening businesses and the school; all of these were milestones we have skipped through in mere months. It is rather remarkable how smooth most of the transition has been, though it was also very obvious that despite our hopes, we were not exactly packed and ready to go. Some of us still live under the mountain and they might not ever move out. Then again, there is still a huge difference. Now it is by choice, not the lack of alternatives.

And as you have seen, I chose to be a mother, once more.

Frisk is a wonderful child. They still say very little, but when they do, it always comes from a place of love. They are bashfully honest with a heart of gold, though I can see signs of mischief that might develop further in the next few years. Their room is spacious and bright, and although they only really had a bed, a dresser and a lamp at first, I have never seen a child so excited just for a place they could call their own. Their enthusiasm is adorably infectious, but also strikingly familiar.

It is difficult to face the past. As lonely as it had been, there was some bit of comforting monotony to the Ruins. Part of the reason I decided to play a more active role in the re-integration, is because it took so much time and effort. It was not without conflict, annoyance and a lot of patience, but we now have many tangible results for all the hard work. Between all the paperwork, meetings, debates and Frisk most importantly, I could hardly spare time to think about anything else. It was a blissful ignorance, while it lasted.

It has been so long and yet I still remember them. Each and every one of my children, those who I lost and those who I chose to let go. On some days it's just a soft nagging in the back of your head, while on others it grows into a gnawing ache, that just won't relent. Every day I can feel what it was like to hold them in my arms for the last time. And yet, whenever all of this would begin to grow out of control, Frisk can somehow sense it. They always appear by the door to ask for a story and some affection, or if I'm away, a text with a pun or some amusing wordplay. I used to think I was taking care of them, but it seems like it really goes both ways. On some level, I need them just as much as they need me.

I am not sure if they will keep the Ambassador title forever. I know they are doing this to help in every way possible, but I doubt they are ready for the world of politics just yet. All those conferences, appointments and media appearances are very taxing, even if you might have already gotten used to them. By now, a sizable chunk of the world knows of Frisk, at least by name. They are as famous as we are and there's hardly a discussion on monsters without mentioning their human ambassador.

And yet no one has ever come forward claiming they were related to Frisk.

A little while ago, a grueling set of very highly publicized events proved to much to handle for them, and Asgore immediately arranged to send Frisk home, so they could recoup. We went out to refresh their wardrobe, but it proved to be more difficult than I expected. Only once I encouraged them did Frisk pick anything on their own. We ended up going home with a giant pile of clothes and toys, and while they have some particularly gaudy shirts and dresses now, their smile and laughter was worth everything.

As to what the future might bring, I cannot tell. The school year is underway and once we receive some official evaluation, I hope we can start more mixed monster-human classes. For now, Frisk is the odd one out, although it matters very little to any of them. There is definitely a growing interest and I may have to seek additional teachers by the next term. I am quite happy with being a guide to a new generation, one that will see humanity as friends, rather than foes. One that can learn to leave the past where it belongs.

By the time this letter is opened, at least another year will have passed. We'll meet new people, experience new things and hopefully things will keep going well. While you will surely be wiser by then, this old lady wants to offer one bit of advice for all the years to come. If you want to live a good life, a fulfilling life, a better one than what you've left Underground...

Don't let go of the people you love. Embrace them, be there for them and love them unconditionally. Let them know, that there is always a place they can return to. That you will never close your doors to them. And maybe then, you will never again have an empty house of memories.

To me, to you, to us.

I wish nothing but the best.