Raiders of the Lost Johnny

(2:04:11 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny continues on his epic sandvoyage with his new comrades/minions
(2:04:36 PM) Darkened: THe pirate captain keeps asking him questions about where he came from and what he's doing here, why
(2:06:12 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Long story short, from a different dimension and I'm here because the trail of treasure led me this way"
(2:06:42 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Trust me when I say that this is far nicer than the other parts of the journey where I was outside of space and time itself, literally the most boring place ever"
(2:09:45 PM) Darkened: "..."
(2:10:01 PM) Darkened: "If you don't want to say anything you could just say so."
(2:10:07 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shrugs
(2:10:27 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Lets be honest, it's not even the weirdest thing about me"
(2:13:48 PM) Darkened: "Right"
(2:14:01 PM) Darkened: They follow the buried trail closer and closer to the big danger he can sense.
(2:14:26 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Speaking of which, just a warning, shit's about to get a lot more dangerous"
(2:14:40 PM) Darkened: "And you know this how? 'Magic'?"
(2:19:30 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Heh, just call it a hunch if that makes you feel any better"
(2:20:49 PM) Darkened: "Fine."
(2:20:51 PM) Darkened: "What kind?"
(2:21:01 PM) Darkened: Something looms in the distance.
(2:21:17 PM) Darkened: The shimmering heat from the desert floor making it hard to grasp just what it is.
(2:32:46 PM) Mishie|Johnny: Not wanting to sound like an idiot, Johnny decides to cheat and to ask the danger what it is so he can pretend to know what he's talking about.
(2:34:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Okay so uh, if I were to say that it's a labyrinth full of traps and the undead that have the ability to command those sandworms, that ring any bells?"
(2:38:30 PM) Darkened: She starts.
(2:38:32 PM) Darkened: "Bullshit."
(2:39:37 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny smiles "Wanna make a bet on it?"
(2:41:13 PM) Darkened: "Fine. What do you want to bet?"
(2:44:07 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Hmmmmmmm"
(2:46:25 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Well, even if you don't believe me about my more... niche talents, I'm sure that if I were to owe you a favor, that you could find SOME use for a man of my abilities"
(2:48:43 PM) Darkened: "How about if that thing's not randomly right there after a goddam year of searching, you have to be completely honest with me about where you came from and what you know."
(2:50:43 PM) Darkened: "So just tell me whatever you want if it is there." She seems all but completely certain Johnny's wrong.
(2:53:10 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Well, I guess that if I win, I'll just keep you as a guide~"
(2:56:18 PM) Darkened: "Fine."
(3:01:02 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny sits back and relaxes and the sandship starts to go over the final few dunes blocking the view of the labyrinths that he knows are ahead
(3:01:12 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So you've been searching for this place for a while then?"
(3:06:23 PM) Darkened: "Yeah."
(3:07:19 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Well then, sure is a good thing that I came along then"
(3:07:31 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Any chance you could tell me more about it before we arrive?"
(3:10:34 PM) Darkened: "Desert wasn't always so bad."
(3:11:33 PM) Darkened: "A few hundred years ago there used to be a pretty big shipping lane through here, hovercrafts and bigtime merchants."
(3:11:43 PM) Darkened: "So of course, this far from any real enforcement you had a lot of pirates."
(3:11:54 PM) Darkened: "One in particular was a pretty big name, real kook too."
(3:12:08 PM) Darkened: "So when he kicks the bucket he has a giant tomb built."
(3:12:08 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Sounds about right"
(3:17:01 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "As you do"
(3:20:54 PM) Darkened: And the tomb finally comes properly into sight
(3:21:05 PM) Darkened: A large edifice roughly in the shape of a pyramid.
(3:29:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Caaaaalled it"
(3:30:12 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So, got anything you want to say lil miss pirate?"
(3:31:52 PM) Darkened: Grumble
(3:36:19 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Hmmmmm"
(3:36:58 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "That's a funny way of saying 'You were right, I was wrong, your magical trail of treasure totally did lead to the labyrinth full of traps and zombies'"
(3:37:57 PM) Darkened: GRUMBLE
(3:38:10 PM) Darkened: "Fine, you were right."
(3:42:46 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Don't worry, you'll get used to saying that eventually~"
(3:43:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny: As the sandships stop outside the entrance to the pyramid, Johnny hops off and turns to face the pirates
(3:43:27 PM) Darkened: They're following of course.
(3:44:20 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So I'm assuming that you guys know the basics of tomb raiding?  Don't touch shiny shit unless I say to, walk the paths that I walk, and always remember your lootsack"
(3:45:28 PM) Mishie|Johnny: Before he enters the pyramid though, Johnny decides to check to find the route to where the treasure is, so he asks the traps and various other dangers in there to help him make a mental map of what's inside
(3:50:08 PM) Mishie|Johnny: As Johnny and his pirates make their way through the pyramid, he decides that he should keep things interesting for them by telling them about all the traps that they wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't there and explaining how all the other tomb raiders had died horribly in the past.
(3:52:01 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So as you can obviously see up ahead, we have what appears to be classic spear trap.  Step on the wrong symbol and spears come out to stab you, and if you somehow survive the horrible wounds that they give, the poison will be sure to finish you off!  Eventually..."
(3:52:24 PM) Darkened: They start to follow him with respect.
(3:52:56 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But whoever designed this place was a fun one, turns out that if you don't trigger the spears, then when you go further, the entire passageway is set such that if you step on it, you'll set off an even worse trap!"
(3:53:52 PM) Mishie|Johnny: As such, Johnny casually steps onto the pressure plate to trigger the spears, dodges out of the way as he's explaining everything and then proceeds to bend the spears back to allow the pirates through.
(3:54:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Seriously, this place is designed to trick you into thinking that you can make it in, when in fact it it's all a lie"
(3:55:16 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "This guy didn't want ANYBODY to make it in, so it's meant to be impossible to get past these traps, there's no clever hidden solution, only death"
(3:55:23 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Unless you cheat that is~"
(3:56:04 PM) Mishie|Johnny: As they continue, the path starts to slope upwards "And now we've reached another one of the classics, the boulder trap, always a goody"
(3:59:30 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Traditionally, you're meant to outrun the boulder until you find a way to hide from it to let it past, but well, oddly enough this guy didn't want that to happen, so unless you guys think you can run aaaaaall the way back to the entrance whilst dodging all the traps that we've already been past, it's impossible to go any further than this!"
(3:59:30 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny steps forward onto the pressure plate, and the pirates hear an ominous rumbling, that only gets louder and louder until they see the boulder heading right towards them
(3:59:30 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Unless y'know, you can do this"
(3:59:30 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny reaches out with a single hand and stops the boulder in its tracks
(3:59:31 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "And now we
(3:59:31 PM) Mishie|Johnny: 've been provided with a way to disable the rest of the traps!"
(4:00:31 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny starts to roll the boulder back up the slope using it to set off and crush all the traps in the way
(4:01:30 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Sooooo, any questions?"
(4:04:20 PM) Darkened: Much staring
(4:04:22 PM) Darkened: "What are you?"
(4:16:06 PM) Darkened: Eventually he leads them to a set of large ornate doors, boldly emblazoned with several sandworms.
(4:24:12 PM) Darkened: They seem to be locked tight however
(4:24:27 PM) Darkened: And the mechanism requiring someone to stick their hand in is obviously a trap.
(4:24:40 PM) Darkened: The kind that won't open the doors unless it works properly.
(4:42:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Whelp, obviously the only way through this door is to stick your hand into that slot and to feel around for some sort of mechanism to open the door"
(4:43:36 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Unless of course you remember that the guy that made this place is a sadistic fuck that didn't want anybody to get to his shit, so uhhhh, if anybody is feeling suicidal, feel free to stick whatever you want in there if you don't want it back"
(4:44:54 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Cause the ACTUAL way to open the door was actually hidden waaaaay back at the start, since y'know, what kind of idiot puts the way to open the door right next to the door"
(4:44:57 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "That's just stupid"
(4:46:10 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Luckily for everybody, I'm amazing and I was able to activate it on the way up since I didn't feel like walking back down just to prove a point, so you're all going to have to just assume that I know what I'm talking about"
(4:46:35 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny walks up to the now revealed to be unlocked doors and pushes them open "But I doubt that's what you're all thinking of right now though"
(10:18:27 PM) Mishie|Johnny is now known as ActuallyMishie
(10:19:13 PM) Ai_Nitami is now known as theweepingman
(4/26/2015 3:52:00 AM) theweepingman is now known as Kyuubey
(4:15:10 AM) ActuallyMishie left the room (quit: Ping timeout: 240 seconds).
(6:26:55 AM) ActuallyMishie [~chatzilla@58-7-192-226.dyn.iinet.net.au] entered the room.
(9:42:59 AM) Kyuubey is now known as theweepingman
(1:25:18 PM) ActuallyMishie is now known as Mishie|Johnny
(1:27:17 PM) You are now known as DarkenedHG
(1:28:14 PM) theweepingman is now known as Ai_Nitami
(1:28:38 PM) DarkenedHG: The doors swing open wide, allowing a rush of fresh air to pierce the dark tomb.
(1:29:00 PM) DarkenedHG: Something creeks in the distance and the pirates carefully step behind Johnny.
(1:29:24 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny peers forward to see what made the noise
(1:31:06 PM) DarkenedHG: There seems to be a large sarcophagus in the distance, placed directly in front of a massive hole in the ground.
(1:31:36 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny stares at the sarcophagus
(1:38:26 PM) DarkenedHG: The lid creeks.
(1:38:37 PM) DarkenedHG: The pirates step back.
(1:38:44 PM) DarkenedHG: And many point guns.
(1:38:47 PM) Mishie|Johnny: :D
(1:39:32 PM) DarkenedHG: The entire floor starts creeking actually.
(1:39:38 PM) DarkenedHG: And gets louder.
(1:39:44 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks down
(1:40:51 PM) DarkenedHG: There's a floor below him.
(1:40:54 PM) DarkenedHG: It's shaking.
(1:42:04 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks back at the pirates
(1:42:13 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Question, is that giant hole supposed to be there?"
(1:42:29 PM) DarkenedHG: "How would I know! You're the one who knows everything about this place!"
(1:42:57 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Well, I was wondering what research you guys had done beforehand, unless you were just wandering the desert and hoping to find the place?"
(1:45:49 PM) DarkenedHG: "It's not like he left a map to his deathtrap filled tomb."
(1:45:55 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "What a dick"
(1:47:27 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Anyway, if I were to mention say, a Giant Sandworm that's aboouuuuuuut, ten times bigger than the one that I facepunched before, would that ring any bells?"
(1:47:38 PM) DarkenedHG: Something impossibly large bursts forth from the hole, vicious scars and slimy, barbed tentacles dropping from its maw bursts forth into the room, smashing the stones around its hole and scattering the sarcophagus.
(1:47:45 PM) DarkenedHG: One of the pirates points behind Johnny.
(1:47:51 PM) DarkenedHG: In response to his question.
(1:47:58 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny turns around
(1:47:59 PM) DarkenedHG: and knocking the sarcophagus aside*
(1:48:02 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Yeah, that's the one"
(1:48:05 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Bitchin"
(1:48:31 PM) DarkenedHG: It throws itself over to crush him!
(1:51:27 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks up at the big sandworm trying to give him a hug
(1:51:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "It's just so adorable~"
(2:19:14 PM) DarkenedHG: It really is!
(2:19:16 PM) DarkenedHG: It's also crushing
(2:19:42 PM) Mishie|Johnny: As the Mega Sandworm gets closer and closer, Johnny leaps up at the last moment, using the tentacles as handholds to climb up on top of it, and it tries to hug him with them, just before it crashes into the floor he remembers that the Pirates are still there
(2:20:59 PM) Mishie|Johnny: Luckily for them, the Sandworm had weakened the floor enough that before it could crush them, the floor ended up collapsing causing them and everything else on it to slide down.
(2:23:02 PM) DarkenedHG: The pirates fall into the distance as the sandworm wraps around Johnny, which doesn't hurt him persay, but does make moving or seeing rather difficult.
(2:25:02 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You guys still alive down there?"
(2:25:05 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Because you should be"
(2:25:10 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Unless you fucked up"
(2:25:18 PM) DarkenedHG: He's answered with groans
(2:25:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Now the more important question, is there anything shiny down there"
(2:27:19 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "No seriously guys I'm a bit distracted up here with my new besty, so the least you guys could do is find the treasure and shit"
(2:30:58 PM) DarkenedHG: They don't answer
(2:31:07 PM) DarkenedHG: Perhaps they already left.
(2:31:14 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny sighs
(2:33:10 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Seriously guys, if you don't answer I'll just come down there myself"
(2:37:36 PM) DarkenedHG: "They left."
(2:37:44 PM) DarkenedHG: The captain seems rather irritated at that.
(2:37:46 PM) DarkenedHG: "Why can't I?"
(2:38:10 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Maybe you're just smarter than they are"
(2:38:51 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Since well, maybe you just realized deep down that the safest place around is next to me"
(2:39:20 PM) DarkenedHG: "Right, no."
(2:39:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Or in the event that I'm distracted by a giant sandworm, a few meters back"
(2:42:32 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny starts to clamber out of the sandworm's grip, moving up to on top of it's head, before directing it to move downwards
(2:44:26 PM) DarkenedHG: Instead it shifts and pulls him back into its slithery scaley embrace
(2:44:37 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks at the sandworm
(2:44:48 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Ruining the moment here buddy"
(2:55:03 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shouts down to the pirate "Just be a moment, have a heart to heart here"
(2:56:38 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny reaches out with his powers to Claim the Mega Sandworm as an Anchor, because it's just too adorable to leave behind.
(2:57:01 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So like I was saying there buddy, how about you let me down so we can sort this out mkay?"
(2:57:10 PM) DarkenedHG: It lets Johnny down.
(2:57:17 PM) DarkenedHG: The sarcophagus begins to shake!
(2:57:38 PM) Exhack [~chatzilla@70.52.86.18] entered the room.
(2:57:42 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks between the pirate boss and the sarcophagus
(2:58:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Whelp, looks like we're going to have to delay that chat about why your minions abandoned you, looks like we have a Mummy to deal with"
(3:02:07 PM) DarkenedHG: The pirate boss is still solidly a level below
(3:02:18 PM) DarkenedHG: And the sarcophagus opens up revealing a rather cliche looking mummy in a pirate hat.
(3:02:22 PM) DarkenedHG: And a lot of gold.
(3:02:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "eyyyy"
(3:03:28 PM) DarkenedHG: The mummy roars and points grandly at the sandworm!
(3:03:36 PM) DarkenedHG: Which ignores him completely.
(3:03:52 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So"
(3:04:01 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I'm here for your booty"
(3:04:19 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny begins eyebrow waggling
(3:07:07 PM) DarkenedHG: The mummy keeps pointing grandly at the sandworm.
(3:08:21 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So uh"
(3:08:25 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You going to say something?"
(3:08:29 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Mime something out?"
(3:08:35 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I'm pretty great at charades"
(3:09:51 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks up at the Mega Sandworm "You have any idea what he's going on about?"
(3:10:30 PM) DarkenedHG: It looks at Johnny.
(3:10:35 PM) DarkenedHG: It doesn't seem to speak.
(3:10:40 PM) DarkenedHG: Or understand language
(3:10:43 PM) DarkenedHG: Then it crushes the mummy.
(3:21:52 PM) Mishie|Johnny: Before the Sandworm can crush the Mummy, Johnny signals for it to stop
(3:26:06 PM) DarkenedHG: It stops
(3:27:13 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So I'm guessing that lil guy used to be yours then?
(3:27:21 PM) Mishie|Johnny:   (" instead of ?)
(3:27:56 PM) DarkenedHG: The mummy tries advancing on Johnny
(3:28:00 PM) DarkenedHG: It doesn't seem to be the speaking kind.
(3:28:49 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shrugs
(3:33:03 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny stares at the mummy "Okay, here's how things are going to work, either you lead me to the treasure, or you get squashed"
(3:34:22 PM) DarkenedHG: It keeps moving toward him.
(4:27:23 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks at the Mummy and tries to figure out how it could be a threat to him, but decides that that sounds like a lot of work so he just cheats and asks
(4:28:48 PM) DarkenedHG: While Johnny is doing this, it reaches out to wrap around him.
(4:39:35 PM) Mishie|Johnny left the room (quit: Read error: Connection reset by peer).
(4:40:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny [~chatzilla@58-7-192-226.dyn.iinet.net.au] entered the room.
(4:45:16 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny keeps out of range of the mummy as he walks back toward it's sarcophagus, and once it's close enough he simply makes the sarcophagus fall on top of the mummy, trapping it underneath
(4:51:38 PM) DarkenedHG: It falls on him, and he shoves it aside!
(4:51:53 PM) DarkenedHG: In retrospect something the mummy already moved to get out in the first place might not have been sufficient to trap him!
(4:52:14 PM) DarkenedHG: Or rather, he tries
(4:52:26 PM) DarkenedHG: But thanks to his chances of escape being ruined, the sarcophagus holds tight.
(4:53:50 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Okay so, as much fun as it would be to take you with me, I don't really want to, so uh, have fun being trapped forever with the knowledge that I'm taking all your shit and that there's nothing you can do about it"
(4:54:14 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny then walks away from the trapped pirate and slides down the sandworm to get back to the Pirate woman
(4:54:47 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So, funny story, turns out the pirate dude was a Mummy, but I dealt with that so now we can get back to the important things"
(4:55:29 PM) DarkenedHG: "R-right?"
(4:55:35 PM) DarkenedHG: She's busy staring at the sandworm.
(4:55:51 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Oh don't worry about that, I tamed it"
(4:55:57 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Totally under my control"
(4:56:22 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Kinda like you I guess~"
(4:57:09 PM) DarkenedHG: "Fuck you"
(4:57:25 PM) DarkenedHG: A distant scream echoes from below.
(4:59:08 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Whelp, on the bright side, we now know where to go to next!  All we have to do is go to where the most corpses are to find the right way~"
(4:59:18 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Sure was nice of your crew to run off and help us like that"
(4:59:49 PM) DarkenedHG: She slaps him.
(5:04:23 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Oh don't be like that, I don't remember hearing you try to stop them or anything, any you knew how dangerous this place was"
(5:06:22 PM) DarkenedHG: Her hand snaps as she slaps him, catching him in just the right way to sprain her wrist.
(5:06:35 PM) DarkenedHG: "You asshole."
(5:06:54 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "In fact, I've gone out of my way to point out how stupidly dangerous this pyramid is and as soon as I'm out of sight of you lot, they ran off seeking the treasure, unthinking of what dangers there could be"
(5:08:16 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Hell, do you have any idea how easy it would have been for me to just let them all die from the Sandworm crushing them?  Instead I did the nice thing and made sure that the floor broke in such a way that you all fell to safety"
(5:12:54 PM) DarkenedHG: "They ran away from the sandworm, and you fucking kept me here and wouldn't let me go take care of my men."
(5:12:58 PM) DarkenedHG: "So fuck you and your high horse."
(5:13:31 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shrugs
(5:13:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "And they chose to run from the sandworm into the traps"
(5:20:10 PM) DarkenedHG: "I should have been there."
(5:20:48 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You mean to rush into your death"
(5:20:51 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny pats her on the head
(5:20:55 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Good plan"
(5:21:12 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "They made their choice, they could have chosen to stay with you, but they didn't"
(5:22:30 PM) DarkenedHG: She shoots him.
(5:25:51 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny casually dodges out of the way
(5:26:28 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Hey, it's alright to be upset, I would be to if I had caused the deaths of so many people that I cared about"
(5:31:33 PM) DarkenedHG: "Fuck you"
(5:37:07 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shrugs
(5:40:10 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But hey, it's not important that I was busy saving you guys from a giant sandworm, or from a cursed mummy that can kill with a touch"
(5:40:40 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "What really proves my point is the simple fact that not once have you asked 'Hey Johnny, any chance you could go save them?'"
(5:44:50 PM) DarkenedHG: She sags.
(5:44:52 PM) DarkenedHG: "Just go."
(5:46:41 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny turns around to look at his Sandworm "You wait here for us kay?  Keep an eye for anything strange~"
(5:47:29 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny starts to follow the trail of dead pirates, making to explain to the pirate leader how each of them died and how easy it would have been to avoid the traps like they were doing
(5:53:56 PM) DarkenedHG: She tries to jump into a trap.
(5:53:57 PM) DarkenedHG: And die.
(5:55:18 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny grabs her at the last second, pulling her bacK
(5:55:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Careful there, wouldn't want anything to happen to you~"
(5:59:35 PM) DarkenedHG: "Just let me die."
(5:59:46 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Nope~"
(5:59:56 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Gotta live with your decisions!"
(6:00:40 PM) DarkenedHG: "So you can't get back what was lost?"
(6:01:40 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Well of course you can, but suicide isn't the way to do it"
(6:01:50 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You have to keep moving forward"
(6:02:12 PM) DarkenedHG: "Then why keep me chained to you?"
(6:03:46 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny sighs dramatically "Is it that hard to believe that I'm helping you?"
(6:04:35 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Just look!  Thanks to me you were able to find the pyramid so quickly, get past all of the traps, the Super Sandworm AND the cursed Pirate Mummy"
(6:04:50 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Why, if I wasn't here everybody would have died horribly at the first trap~"
(6:05:07 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Luckily, you were smart enough to wait for me instead of running off"
(6:05:30 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "As odd as it may sound coming from me, charging blindly into a dangerous situation isn't always the best situation"
(6:05:40 PM) Mishie|Johnny: (best idea*)
(6:05:54 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Actually, unless you're me then most of the time it's a terrible idea"
(6:15:54 PM) DarkenedHG: "So the answer is just to wait and follow you?"
(6:16:07 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shrugs
(6:16:29 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Or y'know, get strong or smart or whatever enough on your own so that you're capable of doing things yourself"
(6:16:58 PM) DarkenedHG: "People don't become like you naturally."
(6:17:07 PM) DarkenedHG: "No matter how much they practice."
(6:20:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Just because something is impossible doesn't mean you shouldn't try"
(6:21:04 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I wasn't always like this you know~"
(6:21:16 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "All I had was my normal everyday talents"
(6:21:17 PM) DarkenedHG: "Go slow, try the impossible."
(6:21:26 PM) DarkenedHG: "Be stronger, do it without being stronger."
(6:21:31 PM) DarkenedHG: "Everything you're saying is just contradictory."
(6:21:44 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Sometimes things are"
(6:21:58 PM) DarkenedHG: "There's no road like that. That's not a path."
(6:22:02 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But if you want me to cut the bullshit and put it nice and simple for you"
(6:22:29 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I never said anything about charging into the impossible, only that you can make it possible"
(6:22:49 PM) DarkenedHG: "Then what do you suggest?"
(6:22:52 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You play smart, change the rules, and you don't make stupid decisions"
(6:23:31 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "And like I was saying before, I didn't always have these talents, I had to earn them"
(6:23:48 PM) DarkenedHG: "Then the rules change."
(6:23:49 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I didn't just wake up one day and go 'Yupe, I now have amazing powers and shit'"
(6:23:58 PM) DarkenedHG: And Johnny finds himself sitting in the sewers, empty handed.
(6:27:17 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks down at the water and then back up
(6:27:25 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Yeahno, I was in the middle of something"
(6:32:11 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny starts to walk forward through the water, but the further he walks the drier is gets, with the walls slowly changing of that of the sewer to being back in the pyramid
(6:32:39 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny eventually he arrives back to where he was a moment ago, and where it's as if time itself has stopped
(6:32:54 PM) DarkenedHG: It snaps for a tenuous moment, as if the colors seep from the sandy world.
(6:32:56 PM) Mishie|Johnny: As such, Johnny moves from where he was originally to behind the Pirate woman
(6:33:08 PM) Mishie|Johnny: At which point, he then taps her on the shoulder
(6:33:12 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Me again"
(6:33:16 PM) DarkenedHG: The details fading until he's standing in a world of grey.
(6:33:29 PM) DarkenedHG: Until the only things left are Johnny, the woman and Johnny's pet Sandworm.
(6:33:54 PM) DarkenedHG: She turns to him, the details fleeing from her face, until she stares at him with what definitely can't be eyes but don't seem to be anything else either.
(6:33:57 PM) DarkenedHG: "You."
(6:34:16 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Yupe"
(6:34:27 PM) DarkenedHG: "You failed to find a path."
(6:34:34 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I was in the middle of talking, it's not very nice to interrupt somebody"
(6:34:38 PM) DarkenedHG: "You failed to make a path beyond your own hypocracy."
(6:34:42 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Bitch what, I am my own path"
(6:34:57 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You just chucked a hissy fit in the middle of an explanation"
(6:35:06 PM) DarkenedHG: "Words, words, words."
(6:35:09 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Seriously, it's not rocket science"
(6:35:20 PM) DarkenedHG: "Do you honestly think you earned godhood?"
(6:35:41 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "If something looks to be impossible, come at it from another angle, don't just charge in like and idiot but plan ahead and research it"
(6:35:50 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny rolls his eyes
(6:35:51 PM) DarkenedHG: "That is not the road you trod."
(6:35:59 PM) DarkenedHG: "You admit you walked the wrong road."
(6:36:06 PM) DarkenedHG: "Weilding your power like a petulant child."
(6:36:16 PM) DarkenedHG: "Forcing the world to confirm to a straight line even when the path would curve."
(6:36:16 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "The key words were 'If it looked impossible'"
(6:36:31 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Trust me when I say that nothing in this scenario was a threat"
(6:36:31 PM) DarkenedHG: "You threw yourself into a hole in reality."
(6:36:43 PM) DarkenedHG: "It was never meant to threaten you."
(6:36:53 PM) DarkenedHG: "And yet you sensed risk, did you not?"
(6:36:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "If at any stage I had needed to actually plan, then I would have"
(6:37:06 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny shrugs
(6:37:11 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Risk is a very open thing"
(6:37:23 PM) DarkenedHG: "You wished to seek. In the first test you broke stagnancy, created motion to push yourself forward."
(6:37:36 PM) DarkenedHG: "In the second test you failed to build a path."
(6:37:42 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Could be anything from life threatening danger to a mild inconvenience"
(6:37:44 PM) DarkenedHG: "You failed to construct the road that would guide you."
(6:37:56 PM) DarkenedHG: "And so you wandered home lost."
(6:37:58 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks at his sandworm
(6:38:06 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I'm pretty sure that I had a path"
(6:38:18 PM) DarkenedHG: "Do you honestly believe you earned your power?"
(6:38:21 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Or y'know, the ability to just make a new one"
(6:38:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Do you know what I had to do to earn it?"
(6:38:40 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Tell me, what makes you think I didn't
(6:38:44 PM) DarkenedHG: "There is no I."
(6:38:58 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny rolls his eyes
(6:39:06 PM) DarkenedHG: "You're arguing with nothing more than the breeze."
(6:39:23 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Then what does the breeze that doesn't like the fact that I don't agree with it on everything think"
(6:39:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Because apparently it's got an opinion on all kinds of things"
(6:39:39 PM) DarkenedHG: "And even now, you, tasked with power as a guard hold open a road that is not, a hole in the world."
(6:39:58 PM) DarkenedHG: "A path from the world, a path to it."
(6:40:12 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I made a promise"
(6:40:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Simple as that"
(6:40:21 PM) DarkenedHG: "Go at it from an indirect angle."
(6:40:37 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Whatever the consequences of my actions are, I'll deal with them"
(6:41:47 PM) DarkenedHG: "You plowed ahead and demanded caution."
(6:41:55 PM) DarkenedHG: "You felt risk and believed yourself superior to it."
(6:42:02 PM) DarkenedHG: "And yet that risk betrayed you in the end."
(6:42:05 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "More advised than demanded really"
(6:42:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Also"
(6:42:26 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I think you may have misinterpreted things slightly"
(6:42:32 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But it's okay, it's not your fault that you're wrong"
(6:42:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "There's a bit of a difference between the shit that I do, and the shit that I suggest other people can do"
(6:43:06 PM) DarkenedHG: "The test before you was to create a path."
(6:43:10 PM) DarkenedHG: "YOu threw the pieces away."
(6:43:19 PM) DarkenedHG: "And then you blamed them for it."
(6:43:38 PM) DarkenedHG: "You charged only the most direct, obvious path when the world before you was a metaphor."
(6:43:43 PM) DarkenedHG: "And then demanded others think?"
(6:43:48 PM) DarkenedHG: "Demanded they examine?"
(6:49:32 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Question"
(6:49:37 PM) DarkenedHG: "Answer"
(6:50:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Cute, but you're running on the assumption that everything that I said and did was consistent with how I really feel about things"
(6:50:17 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Correct?"
(6:50:23 PM) DarkenedHG: "No"
(6:50:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Because well, there's a bit of a difference between what I suggest for myself when there's a challenge, and what I suggest for others"
(6:51:14 PM) DarkenedHG: "So your path is one of lies?"
(6:51:41 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Seriously, funny story, literally right before this whole shenaniganery my plan was 'Hey, lets research this place before I head in'"
(6:51:57 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But y'know, situation changed and so I had to go in without that"
(6:51:58 PM) DarkenedHG: "That does not seem to be an answer."
(6:52:06 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Because I'm still talking"
(6:52:07 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Rude"
(6:52:18 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Seriously, gotta stop cutting a guy off like that"
(6:52:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You managed to ruin the finale of the pirate chick thing"
(6:52:40 PM) DarkenedHG: "It is the fate of liars."
(6:53:01 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Which, if I actually have to be honest, was mainly me just saying certain things to get the reaction that I wanted"
(6:53:09 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Combined with acting a certain way"
(6:53:15 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "It's kinda what I do"
(6:53:15 PM) DarkenedHG: "Then you may have the treasure befitting that path."
(6:53:22 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny rolls his eyes
(6:53:23 PM) DarkenedHG: She points to a very large ornate treasure chest behind Johnny.
(6:53:40 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Seriously, let a guy finish"
(6:54:05 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Don't just tease him by starting up a fun debate and then ruining it halfway"
(6:54:24 PM) DarkenedHG: "There is no debate."
(6:54:44 PM) DarkenedHG: "You are monolgouing into the void."
(6:54:54 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You make that sound like it's a rare thing"
(6:55:09 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Anyway, like I was saying"
(6:55:21 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny sighs
(6:55:43 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny looks between the faceless woman the treasure chest
(6:55:52 PM) DarkenedHG: She points at it.
(6:56:04 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "If I apparently need to actually tell the truth about my opinion or whatever"
(6:56:21 PM) DarkenedHG: "You did not."
(6:56:38 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "The truth is, I'll walk whatever path gets me to my goal"
(6:56:57 PM) DarkenedHG: "That is incorrect."
(6:57:18 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "I talk about how opinionated I am about how you should always charge into shit"
(6:57:22 PM) DarkenedHG: "You walked whatever path would allow you to traumatize pirates and play with sandworms."
(6:57:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "And then I'll lecture people on not thinking"
(6:57:39 PM) DarkenedHG: "Your actions not once brought you closer to your goal."
(6:59:07 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "You mean apart from when I got the guides to the pyramid or whatever it was, got them through the traps, then told them to stay by me and not run off to die, got a giant sandworm which was apparently able to tunnel it's way through the pyramid which would allow me to bypass any inconveniences and then locked the mummy back away"
(6:59:14 PM) DarkenedHG: "Correct."
(6:59:27 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Unless you're saying that I should have held all their hands and told them that everything would be alright"
(6:59:55 PM) DarkenedHG: "Your task was merely to demonstrate a path and follow it."
(6:59:58 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "There's not much that I'm willing to do for people that want to throw their lives away"
(7:00:29 PM) DarkenedHG: "You talk of risk and danger and growth and yet stagnate."
(7:00:30 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "And I'm saying that your obsession with people only being able to stick to a single path is stupid and self-destructive"
(7:00:42 PM) DarkenedHG: "Having immortality the world can only bore you."
(7:01:29 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Eh, I find it very easy to entertain myself"
(7:01:35 PM) DarkenedHG: "You traumatize and hurt and destroy for your own amusement and you think to step upon the path of one who rescues?"
(7:02:03 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "For the record, they were pirates"
(7:02:14 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "As such, probably all kinds of raping and pillaging going on there"
(7:02:26 PM) DarkenedHG: "You claim to care now?"
(7:02:54 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Although yeah, to be fair, driving in that everything was her fault was kiiiiinda dickish"
(7:03:21 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But to be fair, all I did was just forget to mention that yeah I totally could have saved them"
(7:04:48 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But realtalk, it's not like you went out of your way to make them all that savable"
(7:09:42 PM) DarkenedHG: It says nothing.
(8:12:29 PM) DarkenedHG: "I am your mirror."
(8:12:56 PM) DarkenedHG: "I do not know my own existence, but as you are a liar I feel compelled to note that I am delaying you here intentionally so that I might better understand myself."
(8:24:07 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Riiiiight"
(8:24:39 PM) DarkenedHG: "Yes."
(8:24:55 PM) DarkenedHG: "By delaying you I can allow more of me to enter your city and use it as a mirror."
(8:34:53 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "But what if I hadn't failed the test?"
(8:34:57 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "What would happen then?"
(8:37:29 PM) DarkenedHG: "Eventually I would have subsumed you, or perhaps you would have found the remnants of that which you seek."
(8:38:42 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny nods
(8:39:21 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "So what you're saying is that since I didn't fail, that must mean that I've passed the test and that I get the hoard that I was looking for then"
(8:39:24 PM) Mishie|Johnny: "Sounds fair"
(8:39:41 PM) DarkenedHG: She stares at him, unmoved.
(8:41:27 PM) ***Mishie|Johnny pauses for a moment
(8:41:49 PM) Mishie|Johnny: There are two ways for him to do things
(8:42:06 PM) Mishie|Johnny: He knows that he COULD just cheat and change the risk in such a way that it doesn't effect him
(8:42:23 PM) Mishie|Johnny: Hell, he could probably just throw the danger at Ai_Nitami, she's a big girl, she can take it
(8:42:33 PM) Mishie|Johnny: But well, doing shit like that it was caused this in the first place
(8:43:00 PM) Mishie|Johnny: He knows that the easy thing to do would be to just push the consequences off on somebody else
(8:43:24 PM) Mishie|Johnny: But well, didn't he just say that he would accept the consequences of his own actions?
(8:52:59 PM) DarkenedHG: And the chest behind Johnny explodes outward into a sea of gold and gems and treasure.