BurnBot Lewds

 with apologies to max g

>you're walking down the street and pass the local thrift store when something catches your eye
>a beat up CRT monitor television, with the dials and the wood paneling and everything
>out of some weird compulsion, you pop into the store to ask about the tv, if only to see how much it costs
>after asking the shopowner, you find out some bald weirdo dumped the set a few weeks ago
>guy's willing to let it go for $20, but it's not really in working condition and needs some TLC
>without really thinking, you put a wrinkled bill on the counter and take the TV back home with you
>the repairs were a little trickier than you expected, pushing your knowledge of electronics to the limits
>you finish fiddling with the electronics and pop the new display into place before finally plugging it in
>"here we go?" you say to yourself, crossing your fingers as you turn the dial on
>the screen pops into life with an audible bzzt and you let out a sigh of relief
>expecting the local news, you're instead greeted with...a face?
>fluorescent green eyes gently closed in a resting position, tiny blush marks at the cheeks, and a cute smile
>this was definitely not the local news
>the face looked like it was breathing, in reality it was just moving up and down a pixel, but the effect was transfixing
>you found yourself staring closer and closer, trying to examine more of the TV's expression, nearly pressing your nose against the glass
>then the eyes open
>you find yourself staring face to face with the TV, the expression on the monitor defaults to a sleepy unawareness
>then suddenly, the eyes narrow, the brow furrows, and the cute smile deforms into an angry pout
>the monitor's face disappears, replaced by some kind of scorecard
>SLIGHTLY SMELLY: 02/25
>COMICBOOK CONNOISSEUR: 10/25
>DECENT REPAIRMAN: 18/25
>PROBABLY VIRGIN: 00/25
>FINAL SCORE: 30/100
>as these vague, unrelated statements pop up on the screen, you get an inkling that they could be about you
>subconsciously, you check if your pits aren't egregiously smelly and push some back issues of Wacky Game Jokez out of view
>"Hey wait a second! Virgin?" you blurt out loud, but before you can respond to the criticisms hurled at you, the screen changes
>BURNBOT'S AUTOGENERATED INSULT OF THE WEEK:
> you hear a synthetic whirring noise as the insult gets generated
>GO SLIP ON A SNAIL, YOU VAGABOND MONKEYS-FOR-BRAINS
>that's it, this thing's broken beyond repair. you're taking this thing back to the store
>your arm reaches out for the power cord and is about to yank it out of the socket when you hear the whirring start up again
>you're seconds from unplugging the TV set when big block letters fill the screen from top to bottom
>[WAIT]
>instinctively you release the tension on the cord
>the gigantic text disappears and a small message appears tucked into the bottom right of the screen
>[...thank you.]
>you sit back in your chair and face the monitor, confused, yet wanting to see where this goes
>the text part of the message fades away, leaving the bright green dots of the ellipses on screen
>"S-so, you don't want me to unplug you."
>the face blips on screen and nods optimistically before vanishing.
>"Is there...something you want? Something I can call you?"
>you see the same scorecard from before. "Burnbot's Autogenerated Burn of the Week"
>it remains on screen long enough for you to figure out it means something
>"So that would make you Burnbot?"
>a fanfare plays as the words WINNER scroll on screen and animated fireworks shoot off on the monitor
>"Haha, so you're sarcastic too."
>the fireworks get shuffled off screen and are replaced with a message and an arrow pointing to the second dial
>[Turn me on!]
>the message seems a little double entendre-y, but you oblige, turning the knob one click
>the tv boops once, and you wonder what that could mean
>[Parental controls disabled! Thanks for the help fuckface!]
>surprised, you shout out, "Whoa! Look at the mouth on you!"
>Burnbot appears and winks at you, smiling
>You look at the clock and are surprised at how late it is.
>"Ffffuck, did I really just spend my whole Saturday fixing a TV? I really am pathetic."
>You hide your head in your hands and sigh in defeat, but when you look up again, Burnbot looks irritated.
>[JUST a TV? What the hell does that mean, cocklips?]
>"Wait wait wait, I didn't mean it like that BB! You're way more special than that."
>Out of sheer panic, you slip up and call her a tiny little nickname and embellish a little too much on her value
>It turns out when it comes to compliments, televisions are very receptive.
>Burnbot's cheeks flush much more than before, and she tries to hide her smile behind a play scowl
>After a second of consideration, she relents. [BB..? That's...that's cute.]
>Caught in the moment, you reach out to pet the top of the monitor, and she responds positively to your touch
>Tracing your fingers along the wood grain of her exterior, she's like putty in your hands
>[Wh-whatever you're doing...don't stop.]
>You give every inch of her chassis a thorough examination, massaging the hard edges of her corners as well as the subtle bulge of her display
>With each caress, you notice BB's expression growing more and more unhinged, her virtual tongue lolling out as her eyes roll back
>[O-oooh. Ah! *Bzzzzt* Unnnfh] Her moans of pleasure pan across the screen, interrupted by fits of static whenever you do something particularly compelling
>Despite everything in your head screaming at how wrong this must be, you feel a tightening in your pants
>Thinking more with your dick than your brain, you get up from your seat and fumble around Burnbot's rear panel, searching for inputs
>In this compromised position, your erection presses against BB's screen, giving her a front row seat to your manhood
>She sticks her tongue out in vain, desperately trying to make contact
>[Oh come on! Curse my fucking 2-dimensional existence.]
>Behind her, you find exactly what you're looking for, three connections staring you in the face
>Rushing to your shelf, you grab the first DVD player you can find and place it on the table
>[What's that for?] Burnbot asks inquisitively
>You grab the DVD player's cable and twirl it around, whistling nonchalantly
>"No reason, just felt like watching a movie with you."
>Burnbot looks at you confused until you grab the ends of the cable and show her the Yellow/White/Red male connectors
>[I-I see!] she blushes crimson
>Walking up to BB, you brandish the yellow plug, rubbing a finger along the tip, making her coo with anticipation
>In a swift motion, you shove the input deep inside of BB, making her face contort in pleasure as green exclamation marks fill the screen
>[Unff!]
>You unzip your pants and rub your cock along the CRT monitor as you ready the white plug
>"Ready BB?" you ask, looking down at her
>Not even waiting for a response, you plug in the white connector in as far as it will go, as sparks shoot off from BB's display
>[Ahhhnnnn...<3]
>You feel yourself getting close as you thrust against BB's cool glass
>The red plug burns with intent in your hand, you thrust with all your might inside of BB, cumming at the exact moment she does
>[I''m gonna....I'M....]
>CUM: 25/25
>CUM: 25/25
>CUM: 25/25
>CUM: 25/25
>FINAL SCORE: 100/100
>Cum splurts across her display as you empty your load all over her slutty monitor
>After what seems like forever you slump down in your chair
>[Oh my god, I haven't been fucked like that since I was assembled.]