3. Aftermath Recollection

I wonder... And that's the problem. At some point I felt above all... Knowleadgeable, even though it was mildly scary knowledge. I did feel at one point the feeling that I could control and see everything that happens. I seem to think I can recall that I knew what was going to happen, and then it did at about a 5 second lapse. I knew I was going to forget things, and at a point I believed I was understanding of everything... Even though I may have been understanding, I knew that I would sound crazy if I tried to tell others this understanding, and yet I still did it. I was aware that was going to happen. I wrote about funny looks from Friend 1 (X1) and a few laughs and chuckles here and there from X2 and X3. This was because I was feeling like I understood everything... Like they were laughing at my obvious confusion of the rush of information.  Even though I KNEW it wasn't explainable I still continued to try and do it, as now.

My ultimatum of understanding that this is an infinite loop... An infinite reach for that knowledge that I tell myself I'm going to stop climbing these levels, yet I know I still have that innate desire to keep climbing and learning the same thing I already know... This loops will destroy you. I tell myself I am done sans a bit of bud from time to time. Know I've said this before, everything I have written or said here has occured before, the knowledge is there but locked, and maybe for good reasons. I'm not crazy, just exploring and reveling.