Drunk-Anon One-shot

>Day Penguin in Equestria
>You are chilling in your house
>Nothing to do, like at all
>You had one message the other day that Fluttershy tryed to deliver, but since she started first with the fetishes stuff...
>There is no need to explain how quickly you kicked her out.
>Yes there is, you turned her around, raised her tail and whispered
[spoiler]Embrace yourself, the best things come quick[/spoiler]
>And cunt-punt her so hard, she came while flying away
>Maybe that`s why you didn`t try playing Rugby
>2pr04them
>You wish that something distracted you from this boreness
>Anything
>Something magical
>Keep worrying about something when Twilight and Rarity teleport inside your house
Well, so much for doors and privacy right...?
>"Anon, if that bothers you, I already told you to get anti-magic walls for your house" Says Twilight
>"That`s right darling, there is no need to whine about it" Yep, that`s what Rarity usually adds to a discussion
Look who talks about whining... like if those walls were cheap. I work at a goddamn orchard knocking off apples with my fists, how much do you think I earn?
>They say that Applejack has the strongest back-legs ever due to her work
>but Bitches don`t know about your manly fist
>There is no need to say that you ended up "fisting" Applejack
>She got drunk and jelly of you and started fighting you
>Then you fucked
>Nice memories
>"Anyway Anon, we are having a little reunion about Friendship with the girls, I believe you should come too"
Look Twily, I aprecciate the idea, but I am too bored and lazy to move. Besides, a tea party with you talking about cheesy stuff? Really?
>"I knew that you`ll come around with that attitude of yours, so I had a little backup ready for this moment"
>Twilight then proceeds to call for Spike, who comes inside, burps and a scrolls appears
>He hands it to Twilight, who reads it loud and clear
"Under the present, and with all the powers that fell over me, I order that Anonymous must assist to this Friendship reunion. Refusing to do so, he will be punished with 420 years on the Rape Dungeon"
Gimme that!
>You grab the scroll and read it
What a bunch of crap...
>"You read it darling, now get your flank up and come with us"
Yes..Yes... I am going Ms Steve...
>"What did you call me Anon?"
Diamonds pun, nevermind...
>You change your clothes, already showered, too much stubble but no wish to shave right now, so you just take a dump just in case and go with them
>Also grab your little flashlight
>Helps a lot when coming back home at night
>So after everything is ready, you go with Twilismo and Rariwhine outside, where a cart waiting for you
Why a cart? Isn`t this Autismo meeting in your house Twilight?
>"It`s a Friendship reunion Anon, and yes, it is. But first we need to get some things
>You finally arrive at some stores where they buy a couple of drinks
>This catches your attention so you decide to ask
Twilight, why do we need these drinks?
>"What do you think Anon? Do you believe we just drink tea and talk gossip on this meating?" Answers Twilight with a grin on her face
Well this definitely sounds interesting now...
>After you bought everything else, you three finally head to Twilight`s home
>Once close, sounds and screams reach you
>And is that... music?
>There is something certainly bad happening behind these doors
>"Anon..." says Twilight while opening the door, "Welcome to the weekly Friendship reunion!"
>When she opens the door, you are assaulted by Pinkie´s party humour, with a background filled of ponies dancing, drinking and partying
Well well well...looks like this is better than it sounds!
>You mode Pinkie away from you without even looking at her and run across the place
>Grab a hip flask and take a sip
>Your tongue encounters a strong taste and then a little bit of coffee
>"Ah see ya like mah personal recipe eh Anon?"
>You stop drinking and look around to find Applejack with a fake nose & glasses hat on
>Sides launching in 3...2...1...
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>You stop laughing just to talk
Yeah Applejack, I gotta admit this tastes good! Is this Coñac n Coffee? I didn´t know you made this, I though you only dealt with Apple Cider
>"Ahh..Sugarcube there are lots of things yah dunno about me"
>Well this is a pleasant surprise, looks like you have a little alcohol brewing mare around
>After a little talk with her you drink two entire hip flasks of this thing
>The party is really good, just Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, spike and you hanging out
>As you looked around and found all the ingredients for a pizza, you decided to make one
>Odd that they didn`t know about Pizza, but after they tryed it, they asked for more
>However you decided to hold on for a little longer before making more after they had like 5 of them
>The girls told you that Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were coming too, and even if you don`t want to have Fluttershy around you right now, there was no need to be an unpleasant person
>After playing some games to pass the time, they both arrive
>Fluttershy doesnt lose any time and simply hugs you when she sees you
>Also pokes your crotch with her leg while asking if parties are your fetish
They are not at all, but I really like them
>Move her leg away, place her on a wheel chair, and spin her many times
Do you know what I feel after some time in a party? Try to walk...or trot whatever
>She tryes to stand up but fails miserably and falls on the floor, moving her head from side to side
This will keep you busy for a while..
>"Oh Anon, come on buddy, there is no need to treat her like that!" Rainbow protests while moving closer to you
Thats what she gets...
>"And I guess you won´t apologize with her, right?"
>Like hell you will
You got that right Rainbow...
>"Well, I guess you won`t be having a taste of THIS then!"
>She shows you a green and large bottle
>You grab it slowly
>Could this be...
>Turn it around to see the name
You gotta be fucking kidding me...
>"Nope, found this lying around my house in Cloudsdale, so I decided to bring it"
>She had some fucking Absynthe on her house!?
>Guess you´ll have to visit her more frequently
>Everyp0ny and you gather around and take their first glass of it
>SO.FUCKING.ROUGH
MOAR...
>"Easy there Darling, I think this is only a one glass drink"
One glass drink my ass Rarity! Pour me another one!
>And another one
>And other one
>And then two more
>Had to stop at the fifth glass of Absynthe because your tongue was going to burn
>83% alcohol is too much alcohol already, but in 5 glasses?
>It´s healthier to drink pure alcohol out of the bottle
>Anyway, after the fifth glass, you already start feeling weird, but not that weird..
>Something odd, you heard a lot of things about this
>That it was banned in 93 parts of Equestria
>Some ponies declared it as a drug...
>Nothing you couldn´t handle, the rest of the mane 6 were acting like crazy, more than usual however
>Fluttershy was asking for fetishes again
>But not to you
>She thought Angel was you for some reason
>The poor bunny ended up inside FLuttershy´s pussy
>The only thing that could be seen of him was his ears forming a V outside Fluttershy
>He should be sacrificed right now, to stop the pain
>In order to forget this images, you commit the worst mistake ever after drinking some heavy stuff
>You go outside and take some air
>Have a little chat with Rainbow
>She wanted to bring Gilda but she was busy with something
>When you discovered Rainbow was with Gilda, you instantly asked if that Griffon was lesbo
>Turns out she kicks for both sides
>Awesome
>There is a strange feeling in your head
>And stomach
>Head inside to take a shit
>While sitting on the throne, the feeling in your stomach and you know something wants to come out
>Aim far away from you
>Miss terribly
Oh gawd, it´s all over my balls!
>And on the carpet
>And on the floor
>And on your jacket
>Clean a little with the toiler paper and leave the place
>If you whistle hard enough they won´t know it was you
>Check on the clock, 1 am
>A quick flash appears in your face and check the clock again
>3 am
>Mmmh odd
>Go to the living room
>Notice a piece of couch on the floor
>Stand right infront of it
ANON.OUT
>You pass out before touching the couch

>Day ???? In Equestria
>Be headache
>And you have a terrible Anon right now
ooh.. that didn`t sound right..
>"Look girls, Nonny is waking up!" Pinkie claims while you shake your head
>"Well dah tree is finally moving" Add Applejack
>"Argh.. Why don`t you keep sleeping and leave me alone?"
What is your problem Rainbow...
>"Pmmh..."
>She doesn`t even look at you
>What is it with this mare..
What happened...?
>You nurse your head while lazily standing up
>Now you feel how Charlie Sheen feels like everyday of his life
>"oh, you are awake Anon! I thought you died"
What the hell happened with me Twilight... All I remember is coming out from the bathroom at 1 am and then standing in front of the couch at 3 am...
>"Oh, so you don´t remember anything at all during those 2 hours?"
Wouldn´t be asking if I did, right?
>"Thats a point... Well, where do I begin?"
>She started explaining what happened with you during those 2 hours
>It seems you cryed for your Grandfather
>Screamed "You are a faggot and you should die like a faggot" to a lamp for 10 minutes
>You cryed about your Ex Berry Punch... two times
>You told Rainbow you want a piece of Gilda, maybe that´s why she´s mad at you
>"The best part Anon is when you went to the couch. You just stood there for like a minute, said "Anon, out" and fell down to it, withoit even moving on the process, you just fell like a cut tree!"
Yeah yeah... pretty funny Twilight...
>"Am..I also have this for you Anon..."
What do you want Fluttershy?
>She hands(hoofs?) you a picture
>She is riding you.
Oh you dirty slut! How could you rape me while I was at that state!?
>"Did I rape you Anon? Or you raped me?"
>What the
>You just stand there thinking about that for a minute
SOLAR FLARE!
>Grab your flashlight and aim for Fluttershy`s eyes
>Run like hell as a rider because you feel some puke inside your boxers
FUCKING HELL I NEED A SHOWER
>Today is going to be a bad day...