I fucking miss you ok? you were everything to me and then one day you decided i wasn't good enough for you. you broke my fucking heart. A pain like that you will never understand. It hurts in ways that I cannot put into words. Erica is fucking annoying. Matt killed himself 8 days before i moved. I've been a mess. When you played a game with me i smiled...i fucking smiled, i laughed, i had fun...For 40 minutes it felt like you never left. and then you opened that message. I don't know if you did it to rub it in my face or what. I got to hear your voice...i got to play with you...it was the first time i've smiled in what feels like an eternity. and then you brought that up on stream and it all just came crashing down on my head all over again..."she's happier without me..."