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- ///////////////////////////////////////////////
- // TryToBeAGoodPerson - pseudocode - v0.1
- ///////////////////////////////////////////////
- function tryToBeAGoodPerson(parents, society) {
- var you = newPerson();
- you.socialCapital = 100; // default value at birth
- while (isAlive(you)) {
- var situation = shitHappens(parents, society);
- if (situation.isProblem()) {
- var itsAllGood = dealWithIt(situation);
- if (itsAllGood) {
- you.socialCapital += 1;
- you.moveOn();
- } else {
- // sucks, but nothing to do about it
- you.areStressedOut();
- if (you.haveFriendsWhoWillListenToYourBullshit()) {
- you.complainToFriends();
- you.socialCapital -= 1;
- moveOn();
- } else if (you.haveMoney()) {
- you.complainToTherapist();
- you.moveOn();
- }
- }
- }
- if (socialCapital < 0) {
- if (you.haveMoney()) {
- you.complainFrequentlyToTherapist();
- } else {
- you.becomeAWriter();
- }
- }
- }
- }
- function isTrulyFucked(situation) {
- if(situation.includes(MENTAL_ILLNESS) || situation.includes(ABUSE)) {
- return TRUE;
- } else {
- return FALSE;
- }
- }
- function dealWithIt(situation) {
- if (situation.canBeSolvedWithMoney() && you.haveMoney()) {
- you.throwMoneyAtProblem(situation);
- return TRUE; // success at a cost (money points)
- } else {
- if (isTrulyFucked (situation)) {
- // situation is truly fucked
- if you.isWillingToLookLikeAnAsshole() {
- you.doSomethingCrazy();
- you.socialCapital -= 10;
- return TRUE; // success at a cost (reputation points)
- } else {
- return FALSE; // failure
- }
- }
- }
- }
- function areWillingToLookLikeAnAsshole(person) {
- if (you.careWhatFriendsThinkAboutYou()) {
- return FALSE;
- } else if (you.careWhatFamilyThinksAboutYou()) {
- return FALSE;
- } else if (you.careWhatSocietyThinksAboutYou()) {
- return FALSE;
- } else {
- // you truly donβt give a fuck what anyone thinks about you
- return TRUE;
- }
- }
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