Goddess In the Beginning

Ahh, alone at last, my pet. I'm sorry I had to kill all your friends, but it was worth it to have you all to myself. (Laugh) Ok, I lied. I'm not sorry at all about killing your friends. They were pathetic, truth be told. They hardly put any enthusiasm in to their deaths! Oh well, they were men and now they're dead, so alls well that ends well!

I think we should get to know each other a little better. Umm, well, I think you should get to know me a bit. All I need to know about you is that you're a man and because of that, I'm going to kill you. Oh for    goodness' sake, stop your crying. You're pathetic enough without sobbing like a baby. I'm not going to kill you right now. So, boy, do you have a question for me?

(Pause)

How did it all start? Yes, I imagine that is something that has probably been forgotten. The world being in perpetual state of war with me probably plays hell on academia. Alright then, I'll tell you how it all began. And boy, keep your eyes up here, because if I catch them looking at things I didn't give you permission to look at, I'll cut them out.

Would it surprise you to know I wasn't always a goddess? I'm sure thats a hard concept for you to wrap your brain around, given that I'm the focal point of men's existence nowadays. No, I wasn't always the goddess you know. Once, a long time ago, I was a normal woman. But one day, I just...felt an urge, an urge to kill everything male I could. And I did just that, with a power I hadn't imagined I could ever posses, fueled by my anger at being used and looked down upon because I was a woman. I put every male in the town I lived in to the sword. Men, boys, the elderly...I killed them all, laughing and delighting in every life I took.

No, I don't remember any details. Sometimes I wish I could remember the very first man I had the pleasure of butchering, but really, you're all alike, so what difference does it make? It'd also be nice to recollect the first time I felt the blood of some lumbering moron splash my skin, but no sense crying over spilt milk, as they say!

Aimlessly, I wandered the countryside. I became a sort of legend, the wrathful devil-woman who butchered men like cattle. Of course there was plenty of evidence of the massacres. The heaps of bodies, the widows and orphans telling tales of the furious woman who had annihilated their menfolk. Men, of course, were far too proud to ever believe that a woman could kill a man, let alone thousands of them. They thought there must be some sort of  monster or demon stalking the land.

And thats what brought about my first real battle with mankind.

They sent an army in to the countryside to hunt down and destroy whatever was causing the slaughter that was beginning to take a noticeable toll on the kingdom's male population. After butchering peasants and simple townsfolk for months, having knights and trained soldiers to kill was like a dream come true. Thats one thing I'll never forget, the first time I saw an entire army of lads marching against me.

Oh, you should have seen them! You take it entirely for granted that I, a single goddess, can cut down entire armies without thought. Those boys, though...they couldn't believe their eyes. They whistled, shouted out catcalls and advanced so confidently, so certain they would take me! I was the most beautiful woman they'd ever seen and there wasn't a single doubt in their minds they would be making a trophy out of me in no time.

I don't think I need to tell you that their fantasies were about as short lived as they were. They were young men, thirsting for glory. They thought they would not only satiate their craving for glory at my expense, but would prove their virility at my expense. The desire in their eyes were replaced, mostly, with fear and outrage after the first wave died screaming. Oh, that first wave of men! They were gallant, splendid knights in shining armor. After the first of them died, they cowered behind their shields, cursing me and quaking within their heavy suits of armor. I peeled them out of those worthless tin cans, spilling their blood and innards. What a feeling it was, seeing these paragons of masculinity, the story book heroes every girl dreams of, piling up at my feet, their muscular bodies thrashing about as they died in agony.

The rest of the army was like a wonderful dessert after the main course that the knights had been. Oh, it was so different then. The men were disbelieving but determined, shouting encouragement. (Giggle) I can't even guess how many times I heard some fool shouting to his men about how “shes only one woman!”, shouting it right up until I carved him up like the piece of meat he was. Thats another thing thats hard for you to believe, isn't it? Yes, back then the men really thought they had a chance! Not like you fodder today who just march off to die like good little boys because its all you know how to do. Sometimes I miss seeing all that male pride, it was ever so much fun to crush. Seeing a man stare at me with slack jawed disbelief as I ran my blade through his chest. Now, you dumb slobs just sort of accept it. Its pathetic, really. Men aren't even very good at dying anymore.

In the end, of course, I was quite victorious. An entire army, dead by my hand, their bodies piled up at my feet! It was incredible and I knew immediately it was just the beginning. Total war against the world of men was the purpose of my existence and I'm proud to say that since that day, not only have I been the leading cause of death for men, I'm damn near the only one.

Oh, those were good days....hm? How did I become a goddess? Oh my dear, thats another story altogether! You're an inquisitive lad, aren't you? Maybe I'll keep you around for a little while. No, don't worry, I'm still going to kill you. I'll just do it later.