in the situations i'm talking about i feel like a lot of people do without even realizing sometimes? like they're so concentrated on making that other someone feel good that the first thing that comes to mind is something like a comparison, using someone else as an example, or an off hand comment, which can end up being hurtful?

just an example ofc, because obviously there's a lot more people just being straight up malicious both directly and indirectly ssdfghrt