Do Lamia's have Assholes?

	Do Lamias have assholes? A question that has kept men up at night for centuries, sweating as they try to envision the possibilities of such a thing. Where would they put it? What about the cloaca? Truly, a nightmare for anthropologist and herpetologist alike. I believe, however, that there is sufficient evidence to prove that Lamias do, in fact, have assholes. By looking at the various medias distributed throughout history, the Government, and the realms of biology, I will prove that Lamias do have assholes.

	When man first looked upon the stars, the first thing he must have asked was, "Do stars have assholes?" Truly, we have been creatures of great curiosity since ancient times. But where did we get this curiosity from and why does it relate to Lamias? Well, current forensic evidence has shown that thousands of years before the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was born, Aliens visited Earth, bringing with them the knowledge to create great things such as the pyramids, maple syrup, and the answers to many of life's mysteries. Trivial things such as "Where did we come from?" were lost over time as well as important answers such as "Do Lamia's have assholes?" Well, thankfully we have clues left by what has survived. Look at the great pyramid of Giza? Doesn't the shape strike you as odd? If you connect all the lines of the pyramid together by tracing through with a red marker, you suddenly find a picture of a lamia WITH an asshole. Hard to refute these facts, but if this proof is insufficient for you, then read on to see what your own government has been hiding from you.

	Everyone knows about the Illuminati, the secret organization that rules the world? Of course they do, because the Government wants people to know about them so they can hide in plain sight. This, of course, is exactly the same way they choose to hide the secret of the Lamia's asshole. For the United States, statistically the only country that matters, look at the $100 bill. You see Benjamin Franklin, genius statesman, inventor, and lover. He understood the truth of the Lamia's backside, and he knew how dangerous the secret would be for mankind to know, for why strive for Independence when your dreams are already realized? No, too dangerous it would be, however he knew that outright denying it would be even worse, so he left clues. Look at that expression on his face, those eyebrows that know more than they should, leading down to Liberty Hall on the back. Look closely at the picture of Liberty Hall and you'll see a picture of a Lamia spreading her asshole at you! Clearly, it is undeniable proof, but the most damning evidence of all is the simplest, the biological evidence.

	A lamia is half snake, half woman, and half sex. Is that true though? Evidence out of the University of North Carolina has now proven that, although they do not know whether or not a Lamia has an asshole, their genome is 52% Human, 46% snake, and 2% badger. When you do the math, it's obvious that the human aspects dominate, and what does a Human woman have? An asshole, that's right. So if the woman side predominates the genetics, then obviously it's an asshole. That's called science and it's changing the world.

	I believe that through the use of history, government, and science, I have adequately laid to rest the question of whether or not Lamias have assholes. They do, and this is a fact of life. We must ask ourselves then, now that we know the true answer, what more is there in life?  What do we, as a race, strive towards? I think that as long as we continue to dream, there will always be questions, be desires that mankind will seek to master, and by doing so, we will advance as a race who is always learning, step by step, asshole by asshole.