Norman Stories

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Mystery Meat
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>Be Norman
>Eating lunch when Purple decides to come over and eat with you
>"Hey, Norman," she says. "What have you got for lunch today?"
"I forgot to bring a lunch, so I had to get whatever they had at the cafeteria."
>"Oooo! Mystery meat! Sounds tasty."
"Are you not eating anything?"
>"I'm trying out a veggies only diet with Rarity."
"Come oooonnn. Just one bite?"
>Offer a spoonful of the mystery meat to Purple
>It slides off your spoon and onto her skirt
"Oh, crap! Sorry about that!"
>"It's fine," Purple says, wiping herself off. "Happens to me all the time... but normally with Brad..."
>Suddenly your stomach turns into goo
>It roars like the ocean in a fight with a mountain lion
>You wrap your arms around your waist, suddenly in massive amounts of pain
"B-bathroom!"
>Run to the bathroom stall and quickly lock the door behind you
>"Norman! Are you OK in there?"
>Did she really just follow you in?
"Purple! This is the men's res-- oh sweet Neptune..."
>"Norman! What's wrong?"
>Sniff sniff
>"Oh, dear sweet Celestia! What's that smell?"
"D'ahhhhh! Purple! I'm bleeding!"
>"W-what?!"
"It huuuurrrts! I think it was the mystery meat!"
>"The mystery meat? Is it contagious?! AH! It got on my clothes!"
>Purple then takes off her skirt and shirt, throwing them into the garbage can and washing her hands thoroughly
>Suddenly, Soren walks out of his stall
>Both Purple and Soren exchange looks, neither one saying anything to the other
>"Should I get my dick out?" he says.
>"Norman!"
"It won't stop! Get me a band-aid or something!"
>"Do you want me to call a nurse?"
"I want you to call Jesus and ask him why he's doing this to me!"

---
Boutique Fiasco
---
>Be Norman
>At the Aryan beauty's place, trying on some of her new designs
>You try on the men's apparel while yellow tries on the females'
>The Aryan is getting upset because of some stitching or something. You don't know.
>"Why can't I get this right?!" she shouts
>"There, there, Rarity," yellow says. "Let me go make you some tea to calm your nerves."
>She runs into the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone
>"Ohhh, I'll never get this!" she says, throwing her sewing needles to the floor
"Hey, everything is going to be just fine."
>"But I've been trying to get this right for hours!"
"And maybe this is the hour where you'll make it perfect! You just gotta have a little bit of confidence."
>"Norman, can I tell you something?"
"Yeah, anything."
>"I... I want to see my name in lights one day. Rarity: fashion producer of the millennium. I guess I've been pushing myself so hard that I can't even concentrate anymore."
"Then maybe what you need is a little relaxation time. Here, come sit with me."
>The Aryan sits next to you, leaning her head on your shoulder while you bring a comforting arm around her
"Just remember I'm here for you, OK?"
>"Thank you, Norman. I don't know what I was thinking..."
>You look up and down the outfit
>Yellow suit with paisley patterns
>"I mean, this pattern is so out of season! Be honest with me, Norman."
"I like the design fine. It's just the color. Personally I can't stand the color yellow."
>Look up and see Fluttershy
>"Oh," she says. "I d-din't mean to interrupt. I'll just... *sniff* go now..."
>She runs away with her face in her hands, crying
>"Oh, no," the Aryan says, running after her. "Fluttershy! He didn't mean it!"
>You can just barely hear yellow reply, "I didn't think the rumors were true!"
>Great. You messed up again.
>Is it just fate or dumb luck that this always happens to you?
>Now she'll be with her in the kitchen for probably an hour
>...
>Time to go check out her underwear drawer.

---
Norman Gets Raped
---
>Be Norman
>Passing through school when you overhear the three new girls talking
>Those girls seem kinds strange, so you listen in
>"That was so much better than anything we've had in like... forever!"
>Sounds hot, so you keep listening
>"And we haven't even started yet," the blonde one continues
>"Didn't you say there was supposed to be Equestrian magic here?" Magenta asks
>Wait a minute, Equestria? Isn't that where Purple is from?
>There are MORE freaky horse girls?
>"Patience, Aria. We'll find the source of the magic, and once we've got control of the whole school, we'll be unstoppable."
>"You mean like when we sing?" the blue one asks.
>"No, she means when we ask them politely. OF COURSE when we sing!"
>"...What a brat."
>Wait a second! Now that you think about it, you did feel like you weren't in control when they started singing back there.
>You could tell someone, but no one would believe you (except Sunset, but you don't exactly want her to turn into that weird demon thing again)
"Stop!"
>You turn the corner and face the three girls
>"Who are you?" Magenta asks
>"What do you want?" Blondy asks
>"Why is your skin so pale?" Blue asks
"I heard your little plan, and I'm going to make sure you stay as far away from the magic as possible!"
>"...Sonata, Aria, tie him down."
"Wait, what?!"
>The two cohorts chase you down the school
>You try to outrun them, but the blue one manages to grab you by the belt and tackle you
>The one time you didn't want her to do that, she made you regret ever challenging her
"Let me go! What's wrong with you!"
>"Sorry. I think Adagio wanted us to gag you, too. You're really cute, though, so please don't stay mad at me!"
>The Magenta one goes into the custodial closet and comes out with a rag and rope
>Somehow, these girls easily outpower you, leaving you helpless as they drag you into the vacant custodial closet
>The three girls walk inside and close the door
"Now," blondy asks, "what was it again you said you were going to do? Keep us away from the magic? What I think you meant to say was lead us exactly to where it is."
>Magenta removes the gag from your mouth
"Good luck with that! I'm not telling you freaks anything!"
>"Hmm. Suit yourself. I guess we'll just leave you here to die, then. Have fun."
>Magenta begins to gag me again before Blue buds in
>"Oh, actually, Aria, are we just seriously going to leave him here to die? Cause I kinda wanted to try something first."
>"Ugh. Sonata, why do you ruin everything?" Magenta complains.
>"Fine, then! I won't do it, and now you'll wonder for the rest of your life what it was I was going--"
>"OK, fine! What did you want to do?"
>The blue girl whispers something into Magenta's ear, who's face goes berserk at whatever she wanted
>"You're serious right now?"
>"What is it, Aria?" blondy asks, her arms folded
>"She wants to use him for oral sex."
>"ARIA!"
>Blue blushes, hiding her face as if I wouldn't know she was there
>"Fine," blondy says. "If you want to use him, maybe it'll give him some incentive to show us where the magic is."
"Wait, what's going on?"
>"Basically if you don't tell us where the magic is, Sonata's gonna rape you," Magenta says with a straight face
>Wow. For some reason this is really scary.
>You had always laughed at the idea of getting raped, especially by a girl as cute as Sonata, but this was legitimately horrifying
>With a smug grin on her face, Sonata reaches under her skirt and pulls her panties to her knees
>You just had to be a hero...
>"Well, what's it gonna be?" blondy asks
>Maybe you can still find a way to get out of this
"You're telling me that if I don't tell you where the magic is, I get to eat this girl out? Bring it. I'll lick her all day."
>Reverse psychology always works
>"YAY!"
>Crap
>She pulls her panties all the way off and walks closer to you
>Aria grabs you by the shoulders and lowers you to the floor
>The blue girl stands over top of you, her clean shaven vag in view as you look upwards
>Suddenly, she pulls up her skirt, leans down and kisses your mouth with her slit
>You jerk at the sudden interaction, but then remember how you got into this situation in the first place
>You kiss her lady lips back, licking in between her folds
>"MMM. Oh, yeah. Lick me all over, baby."
>You spread her labia with your lips, moving your tongue inside, searching for her sensitive spots
>"Ahhhh. Mmmmm."
>Her cooch is slowly grinding against your mouth, squatting to put more of your mouth into her womanhood
>You stick your tongue all the way in, frenching her walls as you search for her clit
>You move your tongue in circles around the pink of her vagina until you come up to a small nub just at the top of her vagina
>"Yes, baby. Right there. Mmmm tongue my pussy."
>You lap at the clit violently, beginning to taste the blueberry nectar dripping out of her orifice
>You gently nibble her, making her moans much shorter and higher in pitch
>"Harder. Harder! Mmm! MMM! YES! YES! YES!"
>Her words are half vocal and half breath as she gradually loses oxygen humping your mouth
>Your tongue then swipes back and forth across her clit as fast as you can, trying to get her to cum
>"MM! FUUUU--HUUUU--HUUUCK!!"
>She then leads your face back into her vagina as she begins to rub herself violently
>Suddenly, you feel a waterfall of her sweet moisture covering your tastebuds
>She collapses, sitting on your face as she  tries catching her breath
>"That... was... so... good..."
>You're just happy it's over
>You would have jizzed your pants any other time, but you're still a little afraid for your life there.
>Sonata doesn't move, though.
>Her vagina still pulses against your mouth as aftershocks settle down in her body
>"So," blondy says, not waiting for Sonata to get off of your face, "do you want to tell us yet?"
"Can you just go ahead and kill me now?"
>The Magenta one smiles and undoes her belt
>"Does that mean it's my turn?" she says
>She pulls her jeans down and steps out of them tenderly
>She then pushes Sonata off of you and leans down
>Wait... she's facing the opposite direction Sonata was
>She pulls down her panties and sits on your face
>Your lips press firmly against her butthole
>"I don't cum as easily."

---
Date Night
---
>Be Norman
>OK, this is it.
>Finally going to do it.
>You're finally going to ask out the Aryan Beauty!
>The bell rings and you rush out of class (not too quick, though, since you don't want to appear desperate)
>Then, you see her, the most gorgeous woman you've ever laid eyes on
>She's walking right towards you, so time to get your big boy balls and strap 'em on
>Here it goes!
"Oh, hey Rar--"
>"Norman, I just made a song."
>You turn your head to see where the sound was coming from, and sure enough, it came right from Pink's retarded sister Maud
>"It's about rocks."
"Not right now, purplish girl. I need to talk to Rarity. Oh, hey, Rarity! What's up?"
>Suddenly, banter starts all around you
>"Purplish girl?"
>"What a racist!"
>"He won't even listen to her sing?"
>"Norman," Aryan Beauty says, "I'm not going to speak to you until you listen to this girl's song!"
>Your face turns flush red
>Why did she have to pick today of all days?
"OK, Maud... Let me hear your song."
>All eyes are on you now, so it's not like you have much of a choice
>Her song lasts about 45 seconds, and she managed to sing the chorus twice during that time (which scared you to death, hoping she wasn't going to just sing the same thing over and over)
>To be blunt, this girl couldn't sing... like LITERALLY couldn't sing
>It sounded more like poetry than a song
>"Did you like it?"
"Yeah! It was... great."
>"Just wait until my dad gets to hear it."
>Poor guy
>"Oh, Norman!" the Aryan Beauty says, grabbing hold of your arm. "You didn't tell me you were so kind and polite!"
>Wait, that somehow worked?
>Don't screw it up now!
"Actually, I had this idea to take you out this weekend. Does that sound like something you'd be interested in?"
>"Really? Absolutely! You can pick me up at 7 Saturday night. Ciao!"
>...Wow. That went better than expected.
>Nothing could possibly ruin this moment!
>"There's my boy!"
>Suddenly, Brad comes up behind you and wraps his arm around your shoulder

"Oh, hey, Brad! What's up?"
>"Look at you, being all nonchalant about what just happened."
"It's no big deal, really."
>"So Rarity is no big deal? Ouch. And I thought I was the heart-breaker."
"You know what I mean."
>"Actually, I don't. How big of a deal is it? Like you two just going to the movies or big, fancy feast at some prestigious restaurant?"
>And that's when you realize just how patrician Rarity is
>You quickly pull out your wallet to see how much money you have in it
>20 dollars
>You'd probably be able to find 5 more dollars under your seat cushions, but would that be enough?
>This is the first time you've ever had any luck in talking with this girl, and now that you think about it, she's kind of a big deal!
"Brad, what do I do?!"
>You latch onto Brad's collar
>"Whoa! Easy! Is this like your first time ever talking to this girl?"
"Yes! I've never exactly gone on a date with someone like her either! You gotta help me!"
>"Alright! Alright! How 'bout this? I'll lend you some money so you can take her to a decent place downtown. If you run into any problems, text me. I'll bring a decoy date and follow you just in case."
>Part of you is paranoid that he'll steal her from underneath your feet, but Brad has always been the guy to go to with all your problems
>Finally, the time arrives for you to pick up Rarity
>You dress overtly fancy, but decide to keep your beanie on
>You take her to a place call "Chez La Sweet," which has all that French crap that she's sure to enjoy
>You take your seats, and a few tables down, you spot Brad with his date, some blue-haired girl from school
>He gives you a thumbs up and goes back to pretending to being on a date

>After a few minutes of small talk, your waiter comes over and hands the two of you menus
>"Good evening, sir and madame. Can I start the two of you with something to drink?"
>Being a gentleman, you let the lady order first
>"Oh, I'll need another moment to go over the options. Go ahead, Norman."
"I'll take a water, but don't worry, I'll be sure to Sprite things up later."
>Nobody laughs
>The waiter writes down the drink while Aryan Beauty tries not to cringe
>Why is it so much funnier when Carlos does it?
>"I... eh... I'll just have a water."
>As soon as the waiter leaves, you feel a buzz in your pocket
>You quickly read Brad's message before Aryan Beauty sees what you're doing
>"Did you just try acting like Carlos?"
>Before you can reply, he sends another message
>"You haven't ruined it yet. Order the grossest thing on the menu to show her how sophisticated you are. I'm pretty sure they have snails on here somewhere. I can't read French."
>Yeah
>No
>There's no way you're about to eat snails, no matter how badly you want to impress her
>She orders filet mignon while you order chicken tenders and french fries
>This girl is managing to impress you more and more, and it seems like you're having a blast together, but at the same time, you can't help but feel anxious that you're losing your grip somehow
>In an attempt to be fancy, you lift your pinkie as you drink from your glass, but as luck would have it, you spill half of it onto your shirt and pants
>"Oh, dear! Are you alright?"
"Yeah! No problem! Just a little spill."
>You grab a napkin and begin drying yourself off when you feel another buzz in your pants

>You grab your phone out to see Brad's newest message
>"You doing alright?"
>Well, your hands are already under the table anyway. Might as well send a message back before Aryan Beauty suspects anything
"Not really. I'm losing her."
>"Meet me in the bathroom."
"OK, I'll be right there."
>The Aryan Beauty clears her throat
>"Ahem. Umm... Norman? Is everything alright... down there?"
"Yeah--I mean no! Actually, I think I should probably go grab some paper towels from the restroom. I'll be right back."
>You race your way to the restroom and see Brad there waiting for you
"This whole thing was a mistake, Brad!"
>"Hey, don't talk like that! From where I was sitting, it looked like the two of you were having a great time."
"We were... I mean we are, but... I dunno."
>"You know what you need? A confidence boost."
"Was... was that not clear from the beginning?"
>"What I mean is, I can be that confidence boost!"
>Brad reaches into both of his coat pockets and pulls out a gun in one hand and a Celestia mask in the other
"WHOA! JEEZE, BRAD! PUT THAT AWAY!"
>"Relax, man. It's fake."
"No, I mean the gun!"
>"The gun is fake too. Look, here's what I'm gonna do. You tell Rarity that the two of you are going to the lake, but before you get to your car, I come out with these bad boys right hurr!"
"Your plan is to scare her to death!"
>"At least until you come to the rescue. I'll pretend to fight you, then you can win and claim your prize! She'll be all over you after that!"
"Brad... Are you sure this is gonna work?"
>"Don't know. I've never needed a confidence boost. Now get out there!"

>You get back to your table, get the bill and pay it with a generous tip
>You'd find a way to make it up to Brad if this works
>"Well, Norman, this night turned out to be very lovely. Thank you for bringing me."
"Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to take a quick stop by the lake. I hear it looks beautiful in this moonlight."
>"I'd love to, but I really should be getting home."
>No problem. You don't need a lake trip if Brad's plan works out
>Just before you leave, you see Brad hand the bill to his date and quickly run out
>Here we go
>The two of you walk outside and are just about to your car when suddenly the Aryan Beauty is grabbed from behind and held at gunpoint by a man wearing a Celestia mask
>Pointing the gun at you, Brad says, "Just walk away. I don't want two victims here."
"You cock-sucking prick! You think you can just go around kidnapping girls whenever you want? Well, I guess you weren't aware that this girl is my date, and when you mess with her, you mess with me!"
>Aryan Beauty is speechless, tears dripping from her eyes in her emotional state
>You (softly) punch Brad in the gut, but as you do so, his gun accidentally recoils out of his hand and hits you flat on the nose
>You then topple to the ground in pain, blood starting to drip from your nose
"Ohhhhhohoho my ow!"
>"Are you OK?" Brad asks, picking the gun back up. "Sorry, man! I didn't mean to!"
>"Uhhhh," the Aryan Beauty says, unsure of how to respond, "Norman? I'm kind of being held at gunpoint here. It would be nice if you could save me. In fact, you can call the police and get them to do it for you."
"Hold on! Owwwww! Ugghhh. I just need to stop bleeding first."
>"Oh, just take me away."
>Brad wants to lend a hand, but someone has to drive your date home
>Suddenly, Brad's date walks out of the restaurant and immediately comes to your aid
>"Oh, my gosh! Are you alright!"
"I'm fine. Hey, I've seen you around school! What's your name again?"
>She smiles
>"My name is Naomi."

---
"Ask her out?"
---
>Be Norman
>After school in the multipurpose room
>You want to ask Naomi to the fall formal, but you're not sure how to go about it
>You've got a couple ways you could ask, but you need to practice
>It's in a week, though!
>You look to the side to see Vinyl Scratch making music or something
>Hard to tell with her headphones on
>Wait a second
>She's a real life girl who won't judge you!
>You quickly approach the blue-haired girl
"Hey, Vinyl!"
>She sees you out the corner of her eye, gives you a smile and a wave and goes back to her project
"Listen, you're a girl who can give decent lady advice, right? OK, tell me how this sounds."
>You clear your throat loudly
>Doesn't even phase her
>Perfect
"So, Naomi. I like that dress you're wearing. Same dress as yesterday? Anyway, I was in math class this morning, and I was thinking--No, that's stupid. Hey, Naomi, do you like dressing up? I mean we are both in the fashion club, so we have pretty similar interests. I mean, we're pretty different too. You like parties and I spend Friday nights with my Xbox. Opposites attract, right?"
>You grunt
"OK, one more time. Bon jour, Naomi. Did you like that? I heard you were taking French class, so I thought--not that I was stalking you or anything. I mean, only betas would do that, and I'm pretty alpha heheh. So do you like French class? I'm not too fond of school in general, but--"
>Vinyl Scratch then stops what she's doing and takes off her headphones
>"Dude, just ask her out."
>Your entire gut drops
"Oh, yeah! I was just checking to see if you were listening."
>"Well, I listen well enough to know she's usually around Sugar Cube Corner around this time. If you run you might catch her in time."
"Are you sure it wouldn't look weird? I really like this girl and I don't want to mess it up by--"
>"Norman, you can do this. Believe in yourself. Now get going."
>You're nervous, but you've never felt more confident