random thought

It's that imagination is a double-edged sword.
Also, because of this, it's true that I'm often underestimating myself.
Not so much in the sense that I am totally unrealistic, but that some of the negative things I'm imagining are things that i can recognize as imagination and that I can actually imagine more positive things in order to move ahead in life.

I'm not saying I will always have the ability to do this because maybe I'm too depressed, but I'm just saying it's a potential possibility and with work and some excising my imagination I should be able to get the habit of imagining more positive things.

Here's why... because in the end , what my thoughts make me feel is really important. If I'm making myself feel bad , then I will be really discouraged, whereas if I make myself feel good, it might give me some more confidence. Even if it doesn't give me confidence directly, it should lessen my stress levels. As it stands, I think an excess of negative things that are tied up with negative feelings, and I know this for a fact. It isn't that I'm not realistic, but rather that I'm excessively focusing on things that are not necessarily relevant to me.

It's about perspective. You can have perspectives that look at opportunities in situations if you don't already have those perspectives. Reality is that not only outsiders can see those potentials but so can insiders. It doesn't mean that everything is a definite yes but rather that you kind of have to experiment with YES's in order to get any result. Not only that but if the YES fails then you needn't be discouraged but rather have the courage to make observations about those mistakes and successes, since there's nothing else you can really do other than stew in your own shit.  It's also good to take time and see what it all means.

Overall I have to be OKAY WITH YOURSELF. I don't know why but I have this awful tendency to judge myself based on what the world might see in me. This tendency seems almost phobic because it's as if I got into the deepest darkest thoughts of what humanity might think of me. In reality , I'm not really psychic and i have to sift out the bullshit from the real. The only way to really do this would to , like, have the most minimal number of thoughts I could possibly have, or like, don't take the thoughts too seriously.