[FR] Pizzanon Shorts

Some shorts I wrote with Nebulus when we were messing around with the idea of Pizza Anon delivering to hungry milfs.
Enjoy!

>"Sonny, I'll have you know, I had the finest legs in' all er' Equestria!"
"Yes, I'm sure you did."
>Granny Smith leans on the door frame of the Apple's farmhouse, stretching out her old, wrinkled legs.
>"Ay' still got 'em, too!"
>Yeah, sure you do.
"This isn't really appropriate. Please, I just need the eight bits for the pizza."
>Granny's eyes almost pop out of her head, as her surprise is only matched by your uncaring glare.
>"Eight bits! Sonny, in my day, we'd get eight of those for just one bit!"
"Are you saying you don't have eight bits, ma'am?"
>"I've got a bit. Take it er' leave it!"
"I'm sorry, ma'am, I need eight bits for this."
>She gets down from the door frame, as she puts her hoof to her chin.
>"I think I've got just about enough in my coin purse. Wait right here!"
>And off she goes.
>Maybe pizza delivery isn't your thing.
>You consider switching careers to something a little more appropriate.
>Whoring yourself out doesn't sound like a bad idea.
>At least you get paid to fuck all these pent-up ponies.
>Eventually, you could see her go back down the steps.
>What the fuck was she wearing?
>Was she... in a fucking bikini?
>She stands in your line of sight, as she turns around to shake her wrinkly booty at you.
>Did you just go blind?
>Because you probably would have.
>"Ai've got sumthin' better than nasty ol' bits, tiger!"
"T-that's ok, pizza's free."
>You throw the pizza at her, and turn around and attempt to dash off.
>That is, until you crash into Big Mac on your first step.
"You're not going to let me leave, are you?"
>"Nope."

>You should seriously consider investing in a chastity belt.

------

>"Go away! I'm busy here!"
"It's the pizza you ordered."
>"Alright, in a minute."
>The door opens to reveal Cranky Doodle Donkey, wearing his signature yellow wig.
>That thing always looks really weird on him.
"That'll be ten bits."
>"Does it look like I have pockets, wiseguy?"
>What a dick.
>Eh, at least he's honest.
>"Come inside and wait in the living room. I'll grab your damn change."
>You step into his home, as you take a seat on a plastic-covered sofa.
>Why the fuck do people even use this shit on sofas?
>It's so uncomfortable.
>From your position, you could see his wife in bed, waiting for something.
>Hopefully not what you've gotten the last seven times.
>Cranky comes back, with a paltry amount of bits in his mouth.
>He spits them out at you, and looks up.
>"I know it's not enough. Hear me out here."
>Oh, great, here we go.
>"Look, I don't have what you need. But I have something you might like?"
"If you're asking for what I think you are, I'm not providing extra sausage for your wife."
>"How did you know I was going to say that?"
"I had a feeling."
>"I've got nothing for you, then. Keep the pizza."
"Ok; see ya guys."
>Looks like you're home safe.
>Hopefully, those damn goats haven't followed you here.
>You grab your pizza and open the exit door, only to be met by Pinkie Pie herself.
>"Hey, Anon! How's pizza work going?"
"Not very good. They couldn't pay me."
>"Didn't they offer you some ass?"
"How do you know that?"
>Pinkie giggles a very interesting smile, as she pushes you back inside.
>"I come here every Wednesday for a nice threesome. Of course, we've always wanted a fourth."
"I can't do that, Pinkie."
>"I didn't ask, Anon."
>Wait, what?
>Pinkie closes the door, locking it behind her, before she gives one last shout to the donkey couple.
>"I hope you guys like sausage!"

------

>How the hell could a house be slanted?
>Better not to question Equestria's physics at a time like this.
>You got a pizza to deliver.
>You knock on the door, steeling your mind for the inevitable
>"I'll be right down, sir!~"
>Soon enough, the door opens, revealing a familiar grey mare.
>At least this one's too clumsy to try anything.
>"How much is the pizza, sir?"
"That'll be six bits."
>For once, this mare came prepared.
>She counted out a couple of bits in her hoof.
>You swear you see eight bits in her hoof as she hands you the money.
>"A tip for being such a nice person, Anon!"
>Aww, how adorable!
>Your hands extend themselves, as they begin to hand the pizza over to Derpy.
>She takes the pizza kindly, and turns around to walk back inside.
>Of course, true to her namesake, she trips herself on her own feet.
>Her fall is strange enough that it somehow sends the pizza rocketing towards you.
"Oh shi-"
>HEADSHOT.
>Your forehead now has a pizza-box shaped mark,
>"O-oh, I'm sorry! Let me help you!"
>She hurries back to you, only to trip on her feet again.
>Her hooves stretch themselves out, attempting to grip themselves on anything to stop her fall.
>Of course, she ends up gripping your very loose shorts.
>With no underwear underneath.
>That damn zebra probably took them before you woke up.
>"I'm s-so sorry!"
>She attempts to grip your pants to pull them back up, but ends up falling backwards.
>Pulling you down with her.
>As soon as she hits the ground she instinctively speads her legs to lower to try and stop herself.
>Of course, that only means that your member is just at the right position for...
>Accidental fucking.
>"Oo-o-oh!~ I'm sorry, Anon! Let me get off you."
>She tries to pull herself off your cock, but only succeeds in repeatedly falling on it again and again.
"Stop, Derpy. Let me do this."
>She stops moving for a second, allowing you to take your cock out of her.
>"I-I just don't know what went wrong, Anon."